Me and ben: *in the living room sitting on the couch and very close*

Jeff: *pops into this bitch* hey guys! :D mind if i sit here? *scoots in between us*

Me: uhh..heey jeff...

Jeff: what have you guys been up to?

Ben: just...stuff...

Jeff: HAHA STUFF LIKE DATING MY COUSIN?

Me: WELL IM GONNA GO

Ben: ME TOO I HAVE..DRUGS TO SELL...AND PEOPLE TO KILL..

Jeff: YOU SELL DRUGS? JUST ANOTHER REASON FOR ME NOT TO APPROVE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.

ben: DUDE IT WAS A JOKE

Jeff: YOU GOT JOKES? I GOT THEM TOO! HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE KID WITH BLONDE HAIR WHO GOT STABBED TO DEATH?

Ben: no....

Jeff: OKAY HELP ME WRITE IT BY LETTING ME MURDER YOU

Ben: *FUCKING RUNS*

Me: UHHHHH JEFF CALM DOWN

Jeff: n o

Me: y e s OR IM GETTING LIU

jeff: you wouldn't dare...

Me: I HAVE HIM ON SPEED DIAL.

Jeff:  F I NE. You win this time midget..e.e

Ben: im not a friggin midget!

Jeff: WATCH YOUR PROFANITY AROUND MY INNOCENT COUSIN

me: 1. HE DIDN'T CURSE. 2. IM FAR FAR AWAY FROM INNOCENT. FAR AWAY. 3. ...i'm sure he can have way more profanity than that....

Ben: oho you're sure?~

Jeff: *gagging noises*

Me: -.- *grabs ben's hand and starts walking away*

Jeff: THIS ISN'T OVER.

me: IT SHOULD BE. *is gone*

Jeff: *growls*

*A few hours later*

Me: *sitting at the dining table with Ben and feeding him cookies*

Jeff: *sits at table* ay fam the midget is completely capable of feeding himself. He may be a midget but he ain't a baby.

Me: *sighs and rolls my eyes, ignoring Jeff*

Jeff: oh so now we're ignoring people?

Me: *continues to ignore*

Jeff: see this guy is a bad influence on you Ellie. Ignoring me. Ain't started doing that till y'all started dating.

Me: bro, I didn't start doing that until you started being annoying as all fuck -_-.

Ben: daayyyyyuummm gotta hand it to her Jeff. You got burned. Twice..

Jeff: SHUT UP DON'T MAKE PUNS ABOUT MY FUCKIN PAST BITCH ASS.

me: YOU ACT LIKE EVERYONE IN THIS MANSION DOESN'T MAKE PUNS ABOUT YOUR PAST. FACE IT DUDE ME AND BEN ARE DATING AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. NOW GO SIT IN YOUR ROOM AND THING ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, ALAN.

Jeff: elliieee don't say it in front of people!

Me: Alan.

Jeff: fine...*goes*

Ben: alan?

Jeff: you better not tell a single soul ya little shit.

Ben: um...okay.....?

Jeff: *goes all the way upstairs*

Me: middle name.

Ben: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS A-

me: *covers his mouth* SHHHH HE'LL MURDER THE BOTH OF US.

Ben: *licks my hand*

Me: o.o *immediately takes hand off, blushing.* (Fun fact this is a hint.)

Ben: wow we just started dating and I already know something you "like".

Me: mehhh shut up...

Jeff: *gagging noises come from upstairs*

Me: STOP EAVESDROPPING AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE

Jeff: WHATEVER.