Someone somewhere said something about Ink and Broomie so I was like, 'I gotta write something!' I honestly don't remember who or where or the exact context (I have a vague idea...but I'm not certain)
Anyways I'm pretty sure this is a legit thing so here you go

Ink: *is asleep in his bed like a normal person*

Dream: *knocks loudly* Ink wake up its like nine in the morning

Ink: *groans in protest*

Dream: InK

Ink: ggoooo awwwwaayyyyy
Ink: Just cuzzzzz that's late for yyouuuuuu doesssnnntttt meeaaannn it is for eeeveerrryyonnee eellssssseee

Dream: *annoyed*
Dream: *opens the door* I n k-

Ink: *glares at him sleepily as he clutches Broomie to him*

Dream: ....
Dream: I....
Dream: Ok look are you going to marry that paintbrush or not

Ink: *blinks several times*
Ink: wuut
Ink: Uh-

Dream: Seriously. I have never once seen you without it. You sleep with it like it's a teddy bear, you get pissed when people call it a piece of shit even though it's an inanimate object and doesn't actually have feelings, you literally tried to murder Error the one time he tried to steal it, you-

Ink: OK first of all his name is Broomie
Ink: Second-You're waaaayyy late lmao

Dream: ....???????????

Ink: Dude our five year anniversary was like a month after you and I first met

Dream: what
Dream: the
Dream: f u c k

Ink: lol

Dream: But...? Where-

Ink: The ring? What do you think this big ol' metal band is on his shaft?
Ink: I keep mine someplace safe where I won't actually forget it, because I don't want something bad to happen to it.

Dream:

Blue, in the other room:

Nobody:

Not a soul:

Not even Fresh the Intrusive and Nosy:

Literally no one:

Dream: What the actual f u c k Ink I was k i d d i n g

Ink: I wasn't
Ink: Now go away I'm still tired

Dream: *quickly leaves and closes the door behind him*

Blue: Are you ok

Dream: I will actually never be ok again

Blue: Wh-
Blue: Oh did you finally learn he was married to Broomie

Dream:
Dream: how do y o u know that

Blue: I....
Blue: *cough* may or may not have found something I shouldn't have a long time ago
Blue: Suffice it to say, I almost got killed by an angry married couple before I put it back where it had been

Dream:
Dream: You know what
Dream: I'm done
Dream: *calmly takes off his crown* D o n e
Dream: *puts his magic stick of the table* So done
Dream: *opens a portal to Nightmare's castle* d o n e
Dream: *throws himself in and hides under Nightmare's castle where nobody will find him* So fucking done

Nightmare: Dream why the hell are you crying in the fetal position under my castle

Dream: Everything is a l i e
Dream: My life
Dream: My purpose
Dream: Ink's assumes status as single and soulless
Dream: It's all a Lie

Nightmare: ...
Nightmare: Would it make you feel worse if I told you you were the only one who didn't know

Dream: ...
Dream: *Existential crisis intensifies*

Nightmare: Mmmkay
Nightmare: You uh
Nightmare: You just stay there until
Nightmare: You're uh
Nightmare: Ready to leave

Dream: I'm never leaving

Nightmare: Wha-

Dream: I'm going to stay here until I fucking s t a r v e
Dream: You here me?
Dream: I won't leave until I'm d e a d

Nightmare:
Nightmare: Now probably wouldn't be the best time to mention that I'm dating someone would it

Dream: I can actually believe that considering how well everyone in your group gets along

Nightmare: And if I told you it was Killer

Dream:
Dream: I would be very confused but I could accept that
Dream: At least he's not an oversized paintbrush

Nightmare: You're taking that very hard

Dream: Are you kidding I'm s h o c k e d he hasn't tried to make little ship children for him and his brush yet

Nightmare: How would that even wor-

Dream: Nightmare he can make literally anything with his paint
Dream: Has the thought never crossed your mind?

Nightmare: I-
Nightmare: Oh my god you're right

Dream's phone: *Tokyovania plays*

Nightmare: What is that

Dream: Uh
Dream: That's my ringtone for Ink

Nightmare: Wait seriously
Nightmare: That's some head boppin' shit and all it is is a ringtone

Dream: *cautiously answers the phone*

Ink: Are you done having an existential crisis yet
Ink: Cuz
Ink: Uh...
Ink: We kinda have a problem

Dream: *glances nervously at Nightmare and sweatdrops*
Dream: Uh
Dream: *Ink made ship kids didn't he oh stars* W-What kind of p-p-problem?

Ink: Well...
Ink: What if I told you that Blue got into the sugar

Dream:

Nightmare:

Dream: Frick

Nightmare: Lmao good luck

Dream: *casually flips off his helpful brother*

Nightmare: *Politely returns the gesture*

And from that day forth Dream literally could not look at Ink or Broomie the same way and never got over it