Relief flooded through me at the sound of Rowen's response and I did my best to be heard again. "Rowen, I'm h-here! Can you hear me?"

He seemed to be walking around on the ground above me with frantic steps, shouting my name again and again. "Where are you?" he called.

I knew he couldn't hear me well, so I looked around for something long enough to poke through the snow at the top of the hole. There were only a few tiny pebbles, but I picked them up and threw them at the snow blanket. With my arm in the state that it was in, my throw was weak and they bounced off the snow without much effect. I searched for something, anything else to use, but there was nothing. Looking around, I stepped back on my ankle wrong and fell to my knees with a gasp of pain. I grimaced and grabbed my injured ankle. Then it hit me.

I tugged my shoe off and got to my feet. I had to use the wall to stand, but I did my best to get to a good angle. Swinging underhandedly a few times to test the momentum, I threw my shoe up the hole. It hit the snow harder than the pebbles had, and I covered my head as snow fell, letting sunlight stream into the crevice. Immediately, Rowen's steps came towards the now visible hole and his face appeared above me.

"D-do you have a rope or s-something?" I asked. My teeth were chattering. "I c-can't reach the edge."

Without warning, he lowered himself down through the hole. I shuffled back to get out of the way, falling to my knees as pain shot through my ankle again. I had barely recovered from my fall when firm arms wrapped around me, squeezing me into an overwhelmingly warm hug. "I was so worried. I thought you were gone. I was so scared you were dead and-"

"Rowen-... I can't breathe," I said. Not to mention, my injured arm was pressed between us.

Rowen released me. "Sorry..." he mumbled.

Looking up into his face, I could see my breath coming out in puffs of smoke between us. Rowen noticed this too and quickly took his jacket off. He pulled the warm clothing over my shoulders and zipped it all the way up. "Thanks..." I said, keeping my frozen fingertips hidden inside the oversized sleeves.

He rubbed my cheeks with his palms, trying to get color back in my face. "You're freezing," he said, making sure to pull the hood over my head. "Why did you leave without a jacket?"

My hands shook as I reached out to stop him from jostling my injuries. "I'm s-sorry," I said. "It was reckless and this is m-my fault and I'm really, really sorry."

As his eyebrows drew together, Rowen looked at me strangely. "What are you talking about?"

I blinked at him. "Leaving," I said. "I made you w-worry-"

"No... No, no, no. Kevin, you didn't do anything wrong." He pulled me into another hug and I buried my face in his shoulder, soaking up the warmth. "I was careless," he said. "I shouldn't have gotten so drunk. If I had controlled myself, none of this would have happened."

I gripped his shirt which was beginning to cool down in the mountain air. "But if I hadn't come back..." I whispered.

Again, Rowen shook his head, hugging me tighter. "Don't say that... I'm glad you came back," he told me. "I'm glad I got to see you again."

The trauma of the last day crashed around me then. The sex, the fear of making a mistake, the pain, the adrenaline that had kept me going, it all drowned me and I began to sob. I cried harder than I had cried in a long time, and Rowen let me. His hands massaged my back as he murmured softly into my hair. He let me cry until my tears were all gone and I just sat in his arms, shaking from cold, and my tears, and my pain. Even then, I wasn't ready to be done. I yearned for his silent embrace for just a few minutes longer.

But eventually, I had to come to my senses. When I was finally calm enough to speak, I pulled away. "How did you find me?" I asked, wiping at my eyes.

"I just didn't stop looking," Rowen said, running his hand through my hair.

"Oh..." I laughed like it was a joke, but I knew he meant it.

"You're covered in blood," Rowen said, finally looking me over with a critical eye. "Are you okay?"

I looked down at my hand and he took it gently in his. He examined the bite mark, turning my hand over to look at my palm. Then he moved my sleave up, where blood had already begun to stain his jacket,  and I hissed in pain. "Ow...!"

"We need to get this clean," Rowen said. 

He looked up at our exit. "If I lift you up, do you think you can climb out?" he asked. I nodded, and he helped me to my feet. After he prepped his hands at a manageable height, I stepped into his palms with my good foot, and he raised me up until I could reach the top of the hole. It was brutal, but I managed to pull myself out. Rowen soon climbed up and out of the crevice as well. He lifted me onto his back and we started for home.

We made it back to the house in one piece, and Rowen left me on the edge of the bed in his room. I watched him from the bedroom as he set up a hot bath. He looked totally different than usual. He looked serious.

Once the tub was full, he came back and helped me into the bathroom until I was seated next to the tub. "Do you want my help or do you want me to leave?" he asked, concern etched into his brow. He had already seen everything private that I may once have hoped to keep to myself, so I might as well not be squeamish about help. Ears tinged with red, I asked him to assist me, at least until I was sitting in the bath.

After he helped me get undressed, he steadied me so I could sit down in the tub. When the hot water touched my skin, I closed my eyes with relief. I thought I'd never be warm again. The cut on my arm grazed over the water as I settled, and I cringed. Rowen reached out to lift my arm out of the water. He examined the wound, slowly scooping water over it with his free hand. I clenched my teeth in pain as the blood and dirt were washed away.

"Sorry if it hurts," Rowen said, ashamed to look me in the eye.

He cleaned my hand and arm, and he helped to gently scrub the grime off the rest of my body with a washcloth. I had a few other assorted scratches on my face and legs and a large bruise on my back from my initial fall. Rowen was careful not to press too hard on any of my injuries. He was scrubbing soap in my hair when I closed my eyes and sunk lower in the bath. Rowen's hands hesitated for a second before he continued. It had been pretty silent for the duration of the bath, and I was grateful for that, but finally, Rowen spoke.

"How did you get down there?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and stared into the water. "I was walking around because I didn't want to go back to the cabin..." I started, hoping he wasn't staring but knowing he was. "I didn't see the hole and I fell..." I said. I kept my eyes away from Rowen's out of shame. "If I hadn't been so stubborn... I'm sorry."

Rowen finished lathering my hair with soap. "Don't be sorry," he told me. "You reacted the same way anyone would have. You were upset. It makes sense that you didn't want to come back," Rowen admitted. "I don't blame you."

I clenched my fists under the water. Rowen was wrong. I should have just acted like an adult and talked to him about instead of running away like a child. No matter what Rowen thought, it was my fault. I blamed me.

Using a large bowl, Rowen poured water over my head. I closed my eyes tightly as the soap and water streamed down my face, gritting my teeth as the soap seeped into my cuts. Rowen moved my hair out of my face with one hand. "While you rinse out the soap, I'll get you a towel," he said. "Don't try to get out without my help."

I watched him walk away and sighed, sitting back to run my hands through my drenched hair. It felt like a dream to be back at the cabin, safe and warm. Sadly, I wondered how long it would last before it no longer felt like either of those things. After all, we still had that conversation.

*******

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