Rye

Tinsley says nothing as she sits beside me on the bed. The room is quiet as we both stare straight ahead at the wall in front of us.

"I guess you haven't told her yet," she says, setting her purse down next her on the bed.

"I haven't really had the chance," I tell her.

Tinsley laughs. "You're an idiot."

"I didn't plan what was just happening," I argue. In my defense, I wasn't expecting to hook with Launi again. She's copied on all the same emails as me, but she isn't in my and Tinsley's private texts. I should have told her sooner.

"I didn't know about you two or I would have warned you," Tinsley says.

"She has to know we aren't a real thing," I say, "she's seen the contracts."

"Rye," she tells me, "I'm a hell of an actress. And honestly, we were hooking up in the beginning."

"You're right," I acquiesce, "there were times I believed you were falling in love with me."

Tinsley laughs. "That's your ego. Don't get me wrong, it's been a lot of fun and maybe for a minute I thought we could take a shot at something real, but this tour has really shown me that I couldn't keep up this lifestyle."

"I told you that you didn't have to show up for all of the shows you did," I say, turning so I can look at her.

"You know nothing about building an audience Rye. Look what I've done for our social media in the last few weeks. We have to give the people what they want. I've heard my agent can raise my going rate because of the press and new following. It's been good for you too," she says.

"I hate this shit," I tell her. "Social media and following and caring what people think—it's all nonsense."

"It's all a performance Rye, and that's what we do. We are performers. We can't perform without an audience. You're going to have to admit that eventually," she says. She pats my thigh and stands up.

"What are you doing here early?" I ask. "I thought your flight wasn't getting in until later tonight."

"I have a meeting with a director early tomorrow morning so I wanted to make sure I could get some good rest. I don't want to have a puffy face if he's going to cast me for a leading role," she says.

"A text would have been nice," I tell her. "Who let you in anyway?" I ask.

I know who she is going to say before she even says it. Well played Sean. He wanted Tinsley to catch us.

"The cute guard," she tells me pointing in the direction of the hall. "The new one."

I nod.

"Anyway, I can call Launi and explain if you think it would be helpful," she offers.

"I'll tell her," I say. "No need to get you involved any more than you already are."

"Do you think she'll believe you? She looked upset," Tinsley says.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right," I concede.

"I'll tell her tomorrow before the interview. That way it's in person and not over text or email," she says.

"Thank you," I say.

"Goodnight pretend boyfriend. Get your game face on for tomorrow. The interview is live. We have one shot at it," she tells me.

I nod and walk her to the door. I'll do what I'm asked. When she's gone, I grab my phone knowing it would be cruel to let Launi think she's just been the other woman in a scandalous affair. It wasn't anything like that. If I know her, she'll be torn up about it.

Me: We need to talk

I send the message and wait anxiously for her reply. I watch as the little bubbles pop up let me know she's responding. They disappear and reappear before finally disappearing for good.

Me: You didn't do anything wrong.

I wait again, my stomach in knots. Does she not trust me? Of course not. I answer that quickly in my head. I find myself biting the corner of my thumb, pleading with the universe that those three bubbles pop up again. Even when I'm not trying to hurt people, I manage to do it. I don't even blame her for not responding.

The clock beside the bed lets me know it's 1am. I need to get some sleep because the interview call time for this stupid dog and pony show is at 6am. I send one last text.

Me: Tinsley and I are not a thing

I watch the screen and to my horror, this message never says delivered. Launi has blocked me. Great, I have no way to explain myself until tomorrow. I'm sure tonight will be hell trying to sleep. I could go to her room but with Saan in the hall it might cause a scene. Tomorrow it will all be sorted, I need to be patient until then. It's my impulsivity that keeps getting me in trouble.

I force myself to crawl beneath the covers on my hotel bed, Launi's scent still fresh on the pillow. What a mess I've made of things. As I drift off to sleep, I wonder if my father ever had regrets the way that I do.