Rye

Maybe I crossed a line at dinner. This back-and-forth game is driving me insane. I need to focus on my music and the band, but all I can think about is her. As soon as she left the table her father launched into a tirade about the coach and how he'll kill anyone who puts their hands on her. I'm not afraid of him, but he's a powerful man in this industry if I fuck this up, I'm out of the band for sure. I wonder if the young security guard is on his radar yet.

"Thanks for doing this. It's super cool of you," the waitress tells me as she steps up beside me. Security has already swooped in and filled the space their SUV has left. I motion that I'm ok when I see the guard begin to move towards me to intervene with the waitress. Maybe she's crazy, but I'll take my chances with her.

"No problem," I say.

"They're almost here," she says, bouncing on her feet and watching the corner of the block. As if right on time, a small group of young boys on bikes come flying up the street. The looks on their faces are priceless. They are cheering and pointing as they weave through the people on the street.

I take my hands from my pockets as the first of them slides to a stop in front of me. "Oh, my God!" he shouts. "She was right! This is so cool."

I extend my knuckles so he can knock them with his own. The other two boys slide up, sweaty and breathing heavy. I'm not sure how far they rode but I know they came here as fast as their legs could take them.

The waitress pulls her small book from her black apron pocket and hands it to me with her pen. "Would you mind?" she asks.

I nod and begin writing a message to each boy. I sign my name and let her snap a picture of me with them.

"We're going to be there tonight," one of them says. "My mom is taking us."

"Thanks man, that's awesome," I tell him.

Security steps forward and motions for me to get in the car. They don't want to attract too much attention. The boys watch me until the door is shut and then they race off on their bikes as the waitress turns and heads back inside. I pull my phone from my pocket while I wait for the rest of the guys to come out.

Tinsley: Good luck tonight.

Me: Thanks. How did it go on set today?

Tinsley: Boring.

Tinsley: I'm going out tonight with a few of the girls from the cast.

Me: Be safe.

I tuck my phone back in my pocket and cross my arms. I wonder how Launi's ride back to the arena went. What they might be doing while the rest of the band is all still here. If he is in charge of her, no one will even suspect anything if they're alone. The thought pisses me off. Maybe I've misread a few things. How has all the tension been so one-sided? It feels like when we were teens all over again. I fell back into the Launi Kline trap.

When we finally pull back into the arena lot, I watch the bus door open, and the young guard step out. He's finishing putting his suit jacket back on and I look at the other band members to see if I'm the only one that caught that. I am. No one else is interested in what Launi has been doing since she left dinner. I feel my jaw tick as my teeth clench. I need to clear my head.

Determined to get back off the bus as soon as possible to minimize my contact with Launi, I make my way quickly to my bunk. I need to grab my Airpods and sticks and head into the arena so I can practice to clear my head. The bunk opposite of mine holds a few of her items now. Great, she's sleeping across from me. I guess that's better than beneath me. This tight space is going to be brutal. After the show tonight we will be on the bus for over six hours driving to our next stop in Idaho.

I can see her lap top open with thumbnails of the various videos and pictures she took at dinner. She isn't in her bunk so she must be in the bathroom. If I hurry, I can let some steam off before I have to see her again. I try not to calculate exactly how much time she and the guard had alone. It's not my business.

I hear the water running in the bathroom. My hand pushes through my hair, tugging at the roots of the messy strands. This is my fault. I never should have said what I did earlier. Sometimes I need to win no matter the cost. I scan her bunk for something to write on. She has a small notebook and a pink glittery pen. Perfect. Keeping it simple I write, "I'm sorry. That wasn't cool," and sign my name at the bottom. I hear the lock of the bathroom release and quickly toss the notebook onto her laptop. The small ringed stack of paper slides across her mouse pad and the pictures on the screen fly by.

Shit!

As I hear the door open, the carousal of pictures finally stops. I haven't moved a muscle, the breath in my lungs burning as I hold it. That's when I see the last picture in the deck. It's the young security guard taken from the back seat of the SUV. I feel her presence as she steps out of the bathroom and into the small walkway. Our eyes meet. My chest feels tight and unmoving. There's a burning in my brain that makes me want to scream. I'm not a fan of jealousy, it's not usually my vibe, but right now that' exactly how I'm feeling with no right to be feeling it. She's not mine. It's not beyond me that somewhere on a set Tinsley is working and there isn't one ounce of care I could muster for who she's with and what she's doing. But Launi? It's driving me mad. How did she get back under my skin so fast? I need it to stop before it burns us both down.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out and check the message.

Mom: Good luck tonight. I know you'll do great.

And I will, because everything is riding on me. Time to grow up.