12

"Ana?"

I cracked my eyes open, wincing as sunlight assaulted my eye sight.

I blinked a few times then squinted, looking up to see who had found me.

Alison was frowning down at me, her blue eyes full of concern.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Ana, what're you doing on the floor?"

My pounded so bad that I could barely hear her.

I looked at her, confused.

"Huh?"

"I said, what're you doing on the floor, sweetie?"

I bit my lip and lied: "I don't know."

Her frowned deepened and I expected her to call me out on my lie, but she didn't.

Instead, she said: "Well, clean yourself up and come to the living room. Someone is here to see you."

I nodded and watched her leave.

I threw on a clean shirt and brushed my hair then left my room and walked to the living room, wondering who in the world was there to see me.

I knew it wasn't my parents.

They were probably still recovering from the anniversary of Kyle's death.

And Mel had school, today was a Thursday.

But who I saw waiting for me in the living room was the one person I never would have guessed.

My brother's ex-girlfriend smiled at me, her smile as dazzling as ever.

She had always treated me well, even after Kyle broke up with her, two weeks prior to his suicide.

Her sandy blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail and her honey eyes held a sad look in them.

"Hi, Ana."

"Cindi... hi."

My eyes were still wide from shock as she pulled me into a tight hug.

I mechanically wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder.

I remembered that she smelled like cinnamon, but now she smelled like detergent and something else sweet that I couldn't identify.

She whispered in my ear: "I've missed you, Ana."

Something inside of me melted and I collapsed against her.

There was something about the familiarity of her hug, her smile, her voice, that had made me weak and vulnerable all of a sudden.

She laughed lightly and sat on the couch, tugging me next to her.

I blushed slightly in embarrassment as I asked: "How'd you know I was here?"

"Your parents told me yesterday when I went to see them."

I nodded slowly and fidgeted some.

"Cindi... why'd you come and see me?"

She sighed and looked down at her hands.

She looked as guilty as I felt about Kyle.

Finally she looked up and said: "Because you deserve some real answers."

My ears perked up at this and I leaned close.

"What do you mean?"

She looked around then leaned close too and told me in a quiet voice: "There's more to the story about Kyle, Ana."

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat.

I swallowed and then asked: "Can you tell me?"

She sighed.

"Sweetie... what I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room, alright?"

I nodded, anxious to hear what she had to say about Kyle.

She sighed again before talking.

"Your parents knew there was something wrong with Kyle. But they did nothing about it,by the time they found it, it was too late. He told them an hour before he killed himself."

My heart stopped and my hands curled into fists.

I took a deep breath to calm myself before asking: "And?"

She avoided eye contact as she finished her story: "He called me and told me he loved me and that he was sorry. He told me that he told his parents. I was so proud of him. I had no clue, Ana. None at all. He told me to meet him at the bridge. But I got there at the same time that the cops did. Ana, your parents didn't stop him. They didn't stop him because they thought if he killed himself it'd be easier than paying tons of money to get him help. It's not your fault, Ana."

I sat there for a few moments, frozen.

Anger pumped through my veins, causing my heart to race.

"Ana? Ana!"
Cindi was shouting my name, shaking my shoulders and tried to snap me out of my trance.

A new, familiar voice joined Cindi's shouting:"Ana? Is she okay? Did you hurt her? What did you do, Cindi!"

I relaxed some, hearing my best friend's voice.

My eyes met her green ones that were full of anger and hatred.

But it wasn't directed at me.

Instead it was directed at Cindi.

"Did you hurt her too, Cindi! Get your hands off of her! NOW!"

I winced and scooted away from both Cindi and Rose, pressing myself against the couch.

I watched as Cindi stood up, holding her hands up in self defense.

Though, I could tell she wasn't upset one bit.

She smirked at Rose, her eyes gleaming with a malicious look.

"I see that your mental illness finally caught up to you, Rosie."

Rose growled, clenching her fists.

"You're lucky that I'm not killing you right here, right now for all that you've done to me."

Cindi laughed and it wasn't the laugh I was used to.

It was mean and bitter.

It made me scared of her.

"God, Ro. You always did blame others for your problems. But guess what? Your drug addiction was all on you, sweetheart."
Rose was trembling with anger now.

"What did you say to Ana?"

"Nothing. Why do you assume that I did something?"

"Because I know you! And I know what you do."

"Well, it wasn't me."
Cindi rolled her eyes and picked up her purse.

She smiled kindly at me and kissed my cheek.

As she did so, she whispered in my ear: "Feel better. And also, remember what I told you. Tell no one about what you learned today."

I watched her leave, feeling numb and empty and confused.

Rose sat down next to me, wearing a hesitant look as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

She looked like she was scared that I'd push her away.

But I didn't.

I blinked a couple times then said: "She's a liar isn't she?"

Rose nodded, frowning.

"The story that she told me was a lie then."

"What exactly did she tell you, Ana?"

"She said that it was my parents fault for my brother's suicide."

Rose sighed and kissed my head.

"You're right. That was a lie. I know Cindi, Ana. She lies and tries to turn people against each other so she can get what she wants. She'll do anything to hide the fact that she's involved with drugs. And I know that she dated your brother. I knew who you were when I met you. But I couldn't say anything. I didn't want to be the one to tell you that your brother and his girlfriend did drugs."

My lower lip trembled.

"Did Kyle convince you into doing drugs, Ro?"

She didn't say anything.

But her silence was the only answer I needed.

I closed my eyes, tears falling down my face.

"Everything's a lie, Ro. I don't know who I am and I don't know who Kyle is. I feel so confused. I feel like the voices knew what they were saying when they told me to kill myself."

Her grip on me tightened.

"Shhh. Your voices are the liar. You're okay, sweetie. Things will get better soon. I promise."

I nodded slowly, not believing her but I didn't tell her that.

Instead I stared out the window, wishing it was the night before again.

Wishing that I was laying next to Gordon, looking at the stars, instead of being stuck in my head.

It seemed that my head was permanent prison.

And there was no way I was going to escape anytime soon.