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Brazil,
São Paulo

Abbiya POV.

I came back home last night from the Hospital. I didn't talk to Aqib. I was tired and Just sleeping since last night.

It was 11 am. I wasn't feeling well. I saw Aqib sleeping beside me. I couldn't read his expressions. I closed my eyes and gulped. I was in pain. I tried to stand up but my Head start spinning, I immediately leaned against the wall and held myself and somehow reached the bathroom.

My head was still spinning. I entered the room. Aqib was awake and he nearly run and grab my wrist.

"Mujhe utha detin abhi aap mukamal torr pr thik nahi hn" He said.

"Khud ko saharo'n ki adat nahi dalna chahti mein... Besakhiyan Waqti tor pr sahara to de detin hn lekin jab toot'ti hn to insan mu k bal girta ha or bohat bura girta ha" I said and Released my wrist from his grip.

"Abbiya? Kiya hogya ha aisi batein kiu kar rahi hn? Thik ha ap writer hn dialogues ka unlimited stock ha apke pas magar Jaha sath zindagi bhar k ho waha aisi batein munasib nahi lagtin" He said and I felt bitterness in my mouth.

"Munasib to or bhi bohat si cheezein nahi lagtin hn... Wo bhi to hoti hn na" I said and he made me sit on the bed. My head was still spinning and I was feeling sleepy.

"Maslan?" He said confusingly.

"Hum Aah bhi karte hn to ho jate hn badnam
Wo Qatal bhi karte hn to charcha nahi hota" I said.

"Matlab?" He again asked confusingly.

"Kuch bhi nahi Akbar Allahabadi ka shair ha" I replied.

"Han wo to thik ha magar Is moqe pe is shair ki amad ki waja puch sakta hn? Kafi waqt se daikh raha hn Aap uljhi uljhane wali batein kar rahi hn sab thik to ha na? Hala k jin Abbiya ko mein janta hn wo Mushkil batein kar saktin hn magar uljhi uljhane wali batein nahi." He asked.

"Wo suna ha apne? Waqt or Halaat sabse barey ustaad hn? Bs" I replied.

"Mera sarr ghoom raha ha bohat mujhe or sona ha please mujhe sone dein" I said, I wasn't really feeling well also I don't want to Argue with Aqib anymore. Yes, blessing in disguise.

"Abbiya kuch kha Lein pehle aise kaise bhooke pait soyein gi aap? Or Apko Jo Dietitian ne dietplan diya ha wo sath ye bhi keh rahi thin k strictly follow karna ha apne isko" Aqib said.

"Nahi abhi nahi khana kuch bhi! Please Aqib try to understand aise kuch khaya abhi to sab bahar ajayega" I replied as I was feeling nauseous even at the thought of eating.

"Par Abbiya-..." He was cut by me.

"Please I literally beg you Aqib let me sleep... Bas abhi mein sona chahti hn uth k kha ln gi kuch." I said joining my both hands in front of him.

"Ok ok relax So jayein" He said and I lay on the bed and sleep. I want to escape from everything right now and Sleep is The best way to escape.... Escape from this world for some time.

I woke up and looked at the wall clock. It was 2 pm in the noon. I could hear some noises coming from the balcony.

I was feeling much better. I went towards the Balcony and now I could clearly listen everything. It was Aqib on the phone.

"Thik ha Minal tum pareshan matt ho mein manage kr ln ga khud hi tumhe kuch bhi karne ki zaroorat nahi ha mein hn na... Mein sab daikh ln ga tum fikar mat karo" Aqib was saying. An uncontrollable tear rolled down my cheek. I dragged myself to the bed. I silently lay down again, cover myself with a duvet and closed my eyes.

Aik orat hi orat ki dushman kiu hoti ha? Minal tumhe kabhi maaf ni karu gi mein....Tumne thik nahi kiya mere sath...... Ghar ujar diya mera, mera shohar meri Muhabbat cheen li tum ne.... Mera sakoon, qarar sab cheen liya..... Kash tum wapis na aati humari zindagiy'on mein.....

Aisa lagraha ha jaise koi aari se mera jism kaat raha ho.... takleef ki akhri hadd ha shyad ya usse bhi ziyada.....

Kiu Aqib? Kiu kiya apne aisa.....? Sabse ziyada mein ne apse muhabbat ki thi... Ap ko Meri ankho'n mein apne liye muhabbat bhi nazar nahi ayi?..... Mein ne har cheez pe samjhota kiya Apko us Samjhotey k peeche bhi koi muhabbat? koi jazba kuch nazar nahi aya?...

Galti hogyi.....Abbiya ghatey ka souda kiya tumne.... Tumhe tabb smajh kiu nahi ayi Jb tumhe tumhari muhabbat itni asani se mil gayi thi? Muhabbat bhala itni Asani se milti ha? Tumne sirf Apni muhabbat ka socha Abbiya daikhlo ab! Akeli ho tum bikul....tumhari khudgarzi ki saza ha ye... Muhabbat andha kiu krdeti ha? Kiu mari gayi tumhari aqal tumhari samajh Abbiya?

Muhabbat....ishq.....Ashiq....mehboob...raqeeb..... in sab cheezo'n se aashna thi na tum? Phir? Kiu aag me dala khudko?.....

Ni hota na mujhse bardasht..... Mujhe nahi rehna yaha pe nahi mar sakti Roz Roz yaha.... Aqib ap thik ni kar rahe mere sath Aap slow poisoning kar rahe hn mujhe is se acha ha k mein aik hi baar Apne Aap ko maar ln.... Humari zindagiyan hn koi mazak thori ha.... Koi faisla ho jana chahiye takey sabki Zindagi mein sakoon ho.

I stood up with a jolt. I knew what I had to do now. I moved towards the balcony and find no one there.

I left the room and moved towards the study room. Yes he was there.

"Uth gyin Aap?" He said. I entered the study room. He was sitting there, reading a book.

"Han mukamal torr pe uth gyi hn hosh agya ha mujhe" I said.

"Abbiya you ok?" He said and placed the book on the table.

"Han" I replied.

"Minal ka phone tha..puch rahi thi Aapka" He said.

"Mujhe Pakistan jana ha wapis" I said and He was shocked.

"K..kiu... Mera matlb aise achanak? Sab khairiat ha udher? Sab thik hn? Aunty Uncle?" He asked.

"Han sab thik hn" I replied.

"Phir? Ooo to apne Ammi Abbu se milne jana ha. Mujhe pata ha k Aap unko bohat miss kar rahi hn, Aap thik hojayein phir karte hn Plan " He said smiling.

"Mujhe Aab permanently Pakistan jana ha Aqib!" I said firmly.

"Abbiya? Wo kiu? Apko yaha pareshani ha koi? Apko pata ha na hmara yaha se Pakistan move krna mushkil ha try to understand" He moved towards me and said politely.

"Hum nahi sirf mein Aqib... Mujhe jana ha Pakistan" I replied. He was shocked.

"Abbiya...Aap yun aise? tbiyat thik ha apki? Kiya hua? Mein kafi arse se apka badla badla behavior daikh raha hn... Sab thik ha yaha pe? Koi pareshani? Koi masla? Kuch hua ha ya kisi ne kuch kaha ha?" He asked a lot of questions at one time.

"Han bohat kuch hogya ha Aap anjaan kiu ban rahe hn Aqib Apko nahi pata kiya?" I asked him. Rage built up inside me.

Aap itne anjaan kaise hoskte hn? Zakhm de rahe hn or puch rahe hn kiya hua?

"Abbiya mujhe kuch bhi nahi pata k kiya waja ha apke is badley badley or ajeeb behavior k peeche" He replied.

"Minal or Aap" I replied.

"Kk...kiya...kiu?" He asked confusingly.

"Hadd ki bhi koi na koi hadd zaroor hoti ha Aqib! Aise anjaan ban ban k or rakh rakh k apne jo meri rooh ko chalni kiya ha na uske liye kabhi maaf nahi karu gi apko" I said. I was on the verge of crying but I can't cry at this moment because If I would cry at this point I will be the big loser. I will not be able to fight for myself.

"Abbiya waqei mein mujhe nahi maloom k baat kiya ha hua kiya ha...kiya kehna chah rahi hn Aap" He said holding my arm.

"Thik ha mein Saaf saaf bata deti hn Aap or Minal k beech mein jo mein deewar hn usko hata dein apne or Minal k rastey se.... wapis Pakistan bhej dein mujhe Aqib mujhe nahi rehna apke sath, Aap ko apki Minal Mubarak ho bohat" I said and he was red with anger he left my arm.

"Abbiya behave yourself ye kiya bol rahi ho tum? Aise kaise bol sakti ho tum? Matlb hosh mein ho? Ziyada Dawaiyan khaney se dimag kharab hua ha tumhara ya ziyada Afsaney parhne se? Matlb tum Apne shohar ko ye sab?" He said loudly. He was infuriated.

Aqib "Ap" se "Tum" pe aney mein bas itna waqt lagna tha apko? Daikh liya Aaj apka zabtt bhi.... Sach se bhagne se kuch ni hoga ab.

"Sahi hi to kehrae hn... Wo apke khiyalo'n se nikli hi nahi kabhi k rahi sahi qasar usne apki zindagi mein dubara wapis a kar puri kardi ha mein shayad na hoti to Aap shayad usse ab takk shadi kr bhi lete... Jis waqt Orat Apne shohar se izhar-e-Muhabbat sun'na chahti ha mene tabb tabb Minal ka naam suna ha. Or kitna bardasht karu? Isliye mein yehi chahti hn k Aap mujhe bhej dein yaha se mein reh ln gi apke bagair... Magar shayad Aap Minal k bagair nahi reh sakte na hi Minal Apke bagair reh sakti ha leheza behtr yehi ha Aap dono Shadi krlein" I said and I felt that someone stabbed my heart.

"STOP IT ABBIYA!" Aqib shouted, It was an unexpected thing.

"Acha ab mein tumhara mashwaro'n pe chalu ga? Mujhe kiya karna ha kiya karna chahiye, na mein tumse pehle pucha ha na agey tumse puchu ga behtar yehi ha k tum Apne mashwarey Apne pas raho. Or mujhe jo karna hoga wo mein kar ln ga... NOW Get lost from here within a second.... LEAVE!!!!" He said pointing towards the door and I feel so humiliated. I left immediately.

Aqib never talked to me like that. I felt so humiliated and insulting.

Bas? Ye hota ha mard? Jiske samney uski sachayi kholo to wo Apko buri tarha beizzat kare? Ap pr chillaye or cheekhe? Aqib apki sachayi btayi thi mne apko... Apne bhi to bata hi diya aaj k ap ko mere mashwaro'n or meri zaroorat nahi ha... meri haisiat hi kiya ha? ab koi bhi Apne faislo'n mein Aap mujhe thori shamil krein ge?

Mein sirf Minal ki muhabbat ka back up thi.... Jab tak apko pata tha k Minal ka wajood is duniya mein nahi ha Tab takk mein thi ab jab se Minal zinda wapis ayi ha..... Mein sirf Muhabbat k upar para hua wo dhair thi jisko Aqib ne apne upar se utar k phainka ha...

Tear left my eyes and start rolling down on my cheeks. I moved towards the backyard of the house and sat on the ground. I couldn't decide that What Just I have done. I was right? Yes of course. I was crying... I want to cry.... I don't want to keep that hot liquid inside my eyes.

Aqib jb Muhabbat hi kisi or se krte hn to kiya faida apne sath baandh k rakhne ka? Na Minal Aqib ka peeche chore gi na mujhe basne degi.....isliye mein apni jaga chordu yehi behtar ha... Kabhi kabhi khud rasta saaf kardena chahiye Insan Izafi takleefo'n se bach jata ha.... Or Ghar waha basaya jata ha jaha Dono Miya biwi aik doosre se Muhabbat krte hon.... Yaha Muhabbat to ha hi nahi or mera case nihayat Kamzor ha isliye abhi kuch bigra nahi ha mujhe khamoshi se khud ko alag kr dena chahiye. Aqib ki Khushi ha Minal to mujhe rastey mein nahi ana chahiye...

Or mein? Muhabbat ki ha mne ye sab to sehna pare ga na... Bagair Azmaish k Muhabbat maza thori daiti ha Judayi likhi ha meri Qismat mein to yehi sahi... Aqib ko do hisso'n mein bat'ta nahi daikh sakti mein... Lekin Aqib apne mujhse aise baat kar k thik nahi kiya.... Izzat ka rishta to tha hmare darmyan wo to rehne dete....

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Tehreem Iftikhar ✨