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* New chapter is here. Enjoy!😅

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São Paulo,
Brazil

Kiran POV.

It was 2 am in the morning and still, I couldn't sleep. Tears rolling down my cheeks. At the same time, I don't want to cry but I want to cry too. I silently slipped from the room and went to the backyard of the house. Dead silence was ruling over the whole environment. The moon was alone in the sky, looking at me.

I sat under the shade of the backyard, and hug my both knees, silently crying my heart out. I know that loving someone is so painful, But what about someone's cold behavior, ignorance, and apathy? They all kill you mercilessly. And all this attitude of the one you love!?

I was in pain as if someone is cutting my body with a saw or more than that. I don't remember how long I cried. But for the first time in my life, I cried so much that the tears dried in my eyes.

Mein to tumhari ankho'n mein muhabbat dhoondney ayi thi Asad par tumhari ankho'n me to koi jazbat koi tasurr hi nahi thay. Tumne to meri taraf daikhna bhi gawara nahi kiya aik baar daikhtey to sahi, meri ankho'n mein jhanktey to tumhe pata chalta mein tumse Muhabbat karti hn Asad! Bohat muhabbat.... Par tumharey rawaiye ne to aaj jaan leli meri... Sahi suna tha meine Mehboob bohat zalim hota ha... Tum bohat Zalim ho Asad...bohat Zalim!

Roney ka kiya faida Kiran? Muhabbat rog ha.. bas ab isi rog k sath hi jeena parega jab tak zinda....

I went inside wash my face, drink water, and lay down on my bed. How difficult it is to pretend to be happy even when you are unhappy and broken. That's all I have to do now because I can't hurt my loved ones because of me. A painful smile crept on my face.

Asad POV.

I was done with all my packing. I quietly plopped myself on my bed and placed my head on the bed crown. A smile crept on my face. She was wearing purple kurti and blue jeans along with a purple floral Scarf nicely wrapped around her neck. Her half hair was tied and half of her hair was scattered on her shoulders. Some of her hair strands were playing with her cheeks. She was looking beautiful.

I found out today how difficult it is to ignore the person you love.

Aaj bhi hamesha ki tarha naak pe gussa tha mohtarma k... Kaisey batau tumhe Kiran kitna mushkil tha tumharey samney jana or tumhe face karna. Jab jab tum mere samney rahi ho tab tab mein azziyat mein raha hn.

Mujhe maloom tha k aik Mulaqaat k badd insaan takleef mein rehta ha. Magar ye azziyat, dard or takleef to meri soch se bhi ziyada ha jo mera wajood ghairey baithi ha.

Sahi faisla tha Yaha se janey ka. Tumharey hotey hue yaha rehta to bechain rehta, dil tumse milney k bahaney dhoondhta. Jitna door rahu ga utna hi acha ha hum dono k liye. Tum bhi sakoon mein raho gi or mein? mere to naseeb mein ha hi be sakooni magar Dil ko mana ln ga k bohat door hn tumse.

I closed my eyes although There was no sleep in my eyes.

Author's POV.

Rio de Janeiro,
Brazil,

" The repentance accepted by Allah is only for those who do wrong in ignorance [or carelessness] and then repent soon after. It is those to whom Allah will turn in forgiveness, and Allah is ever Knowing and Wise." Surah Nisa: Ayat no 17.

Asifa was reciting Quran and crying. She was hopeless. But her life completely changed when she gave birth to twins one daughter and a son.

"Mama Ap Allah ki book parh kar kiu ro rahi hain?" Her 5-year-old son asked her. He was just sitting next to her while her 5-year-old daughter was silently listening to them with a scarf over her head.

She had forgotten to live because of all that had happened to her in the past. The conditions of her home and her husband made it very difficult for her.

But since the birth of her children, her life has completely changed. She has been living only for her children. She intended to raise her children and keep them away from their father's shadow. And God willing, her husband rarely came home. He had no interest in his children. He was only interested in money. She wanted to raise her children the way her parents had raised her. But she did not want her children to be overshadowed by western traditions also she doesn't want her children to be so selfish like her.

"Mujhe Allah ki muhabbat daikh k rona araha ha k wo apney bando pr kitna meharbaan ha kitna piyar karta ha unse. Allah apne bando ko mafi mangne pr maaf bhi kar deta ha." she replied in a trance. Her son didn't understand what her mother said.

"Allah Humse piyar karta ha mama?" her son asked.

"Yes" Asifa replied.

"Mujh se bhi mama?" Her son asked.

"Yes of course, my love" She replied and he passed a wide smile.

"Idhr ao mere pas kiya soch rahi ho?" She called her daughter who was listening to them both silently. She sat on her mother's lap

"Mama kiya Papa se bhi piyar kartey hn Allah? Wo to gandey hn" her daughter asked and her mother's smile fade away. She was speechless. She has always tried not to let her innocent children have the dangerous and ugly image of her father that she had always seen. But they were innocent children, they knew their mother's grief very well and they also knew what was going on in the house but she remains silent.

"Buri baat beta Papa ko ganda nahi kehte" She said without giving the actual answer.

"Sorry" her daughter kept her both hands on her mouth.

"Kisi ko ganda kehne se Allah naraz hota ha?" Her daughter asked and Asifa nodded in yes.

"I am sorry Allah" her daughter said and Asifa smiled at her innocence.

"Mama Allah hume dhair sarey paisey kiu nahi deta?" Her daughter asked.

"Aik din dega Insha Allah" Asifa replied.

"Kab?" Her son asked

"Bohat jaldi" Asifa replied.

"Phir hum bohat sari chocolates or candies khayein ge" Her daughter said excitedly. She stood up and carefully placed the Quran on the shelf. Asifa was losing her dupatta suddenly The door opened with the thud. Asifa's Facial expressions changed, from a smile to an angry one. Her husband was back home. He was drunk as usual. Both children were scared, they knew what was going to happen next.

He moved forward and hold Asifa from her hair and throw her on the floor and he began to kick her and then slap her. Both children were used to it but still they were both scared. He was beating Asifa vigorously. Both children started crying and he slapped both of them and warned them to shut their mouths.

She was in so much pain that she had no strength to even move a little. She was helpless.

"How many times have I told you to go for a night with my friend? He offered me a Large amount this time " He shouted.

"And how many times have I told you I won't go.... I WON'T GO!" Asifa shouted too. He became more furious and slapped her.

" Don't you dare touch my mama" Asifa's son bites his arm.

" You stay away, beta, and take your sister to the room," Asifa said in a weak voice. Her husband was going crazy with anger. He holds his son and literally threw him mercilessly on the floor and his head hit the table. His head started bleeding.

"This will be the result of coming in my way, from now on." He said and went inside. Her weak body suddenly gained strength and she ran towards her son but it was late. He was no more.

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São Paulo,

Asad POV.

"Karli apni marzi? Hogya sakoon?" Aqib said. He came to drop me off at the airport.

"Han bohat sakoon hogya ha dil garden garden horaha ha" I replied and laughed and earned a slap on my arm.

"Tum nahi sudhar saktey bas" he said.

"Han" I replied showing him teeth.

"Pohanch k-..." He was cut by me.

"Pohanch k phone kardena, koi girlfriend na bnana, apne kaam se kaam rakhna wagera wagera" I mimicked his tone.

"Uff shut up Asad kitne badtameez ho tum mene sirf phone krne ka kehna tha" He replied and we both laugh. Soon We bid our Goodbye and after all procedures, I was on the plane. I rested my head on the Seat.

Unke andaaz e karam, unpe wo ana dil ka

Haye wo waqt , wo batein , wo zamana dil ka

Kuch nayi baat nahi thi husan pe ana dil ka

Mashgala ha ye nihayat hi purana dil ka

A famous Ghazal by Peer Naseer-ud-deen Naseer popped up in my mind.

Wo muhabbat ki shuruat wo be taha khushi

Daikh kar unko wo phooley na samana dil ka

Dil lagi, Dil ki lagi ban k mita deti ha

Rog dushman ko bhi Ya Rab! Na lagana Dil ka

A smile crept on my face. I closed my eyes. I remembered the whole Ghazal so I read in low voice.

Mere pehlu mein nahi, Aap ki muthi mein nahi

Be thikane hain bohat din se, thikana Dil ka

Wo bhi apney na hue Dil bhi gaya hathon se

Aise aney se to behtar tha na ana dil ka

I opened my eyes. An uneasiness came over me.

Be-jhijhak akey milo, hans k milao ankhein

Ao hum tum ko sikhatey hn milana dil ka

Naqsh bar Aab nahi, weham nahi, khawab nahi

Aap kiu khail samajhtey hain mitana dil ka

I closed my eyes again.

Unki mehfil mein Naseer unke tabassum ki qasam

Daikhte reh gaye hum hath se jana dil ka

Daikhte reh gaye hum hath se jana dil ka

"Daikhte reh gaye hum hath se jana dil ka..." I repeat it for the third time.

Kuch cheezein apko kitni be bas kardeti hn... Jaisa k Muhabbat.

Kiran POV.

Jeena parta ha... Aap tab tak nahi mar sakte jab tak Allah ki marzi na ho... Han aik mout hoti ha jisme aap zahiri tor pe zinda hotey ho duniya daari bhi nibha rahe hotey ho sab kaam bhi kar rahe hote ho magar andar se mar chukey hotey ho. Apka dil mar jata ha, apki rooh jhulas jati ha, Ankhein khali hojati hn.. Apka sab kuch khatam ho jata ha....Apki Taqdeer mein rona likh diya jata ha..tanhayi mein rona or sabke darmyan hansna!....

Yehi hota ha andar se mar jana... Or mein bhi mar chuki hn...khali hogyi hun andar se... Mera sab kuch to Wo usi din hi apney sath le gaya tha.... Bas wajood reh gaya ha...or uski muhabbat.... Mujhe...ab... samajh ati ha zinda lash kissey kehte hn.....Kiya ye dard ki inteha nahi ha?

This trip was memorable. My life completely changed After I met Asad that day. The rest of the days I enjoyed with my family and friends. I went to parks, I went to restaurants, I...I went to every corner of São Paulo with my family and friends with a storm inside me. I laughed with them. Who knows, there are so many laughing and smiling faces with grief inside them.

I always wondered how the rains and evenings could make people sad. I understand that now. The evening and the rain are making me sad too now. The one who passes by knows.

I was someone else when I came to Brazil and someone else when I was going back to Pakistan. Today was our last day in Brazil and we boarded a plane to Pakistan. I was looking outside the window of the plane. Soon the plane was in the air.

Hamesha k liye Allah hafiz! Uss jaga ko jaha tum rehte ho or tumhe bhi.... Umeed ha Kabhi dubara tumhare mulk nahi ana hoga...Kabhi bhi nahi.....or mulaqaat? Uski bhi umeed nahi ha mujhe..... Mein ye sari zindagi nahi bhoolon gi Asad k tumne...nahi..nahi tumhari muhabbat ne mujhe badal k rakh diya tha.... Dogla insaan bana diya ha tumhari muhabbat ne mujhe, wo insan jo har waqt andar se roti rehti ha or bahir se hansati rehti ha...bas tumse Muhabbat karna nahi chorti na tumhe bhool sakti ha...Jiske andar aik hi mousam chaaya hua ha or wo ha Muhabbat ka mousam.....

Wo kehte hn na k Muhabbat "Sirf Tu" k asool pe chalti ha insan ka apna ap kuch bhi nahi rehta....sahi kehtey hn..

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Tehreem Iftikhar ✨