Riku POV____

It had been a few days. I found myself barely speaking to the people around me.

It wasn't like they were interested in me either. I was just a small 6 year old with her uncle. To make matters worse my contact had barely said anything to me either.

I found that traveling was boring. Also, I had no idea when we would arrive to where I would be dropped off.

That's when we arrived to a city. Large Japanese style buildings and crowded streets surrounded me.

I couldn't help but look at the city with wide eyes. Konoha was large and populated but at the same time it was orderly and that was probably due to ninja keeping the civilian masses in line. But here the streets were crowded and the voices were loud.

Small street urchins ran around stealing food and pickpocketing people. Merchants yelled out and tried to get customers to look at their wares. The streets themselves looked dirty with some questionable liquids and smells.

There were animals in cages and butchers killing them. I watched everything in awe.

It was like something I'd expect to see in a movie. The air felt stale and heavy with humidity. My cotton yukata felt heavy in the atmosphere.

"Where are we?" I asked my contact Jin.

"Kyoto of the land of fire." He says while keeping an eye out.

"Come we will no longer travel with the caravan now." He says and I nod.

I pick up my bag and hold it close to my chest as I jumped off the wagon. The civilians we were traveling with didn't even notice.

I looked around a bit more as he grabbed my arm and started to pull me through the crowd.

I couldn't help but stumble slightly as we moved through the crowd.

Everyone towered over me and I couldn't see where we were going.

"You will remain quiet. From now on my code name is no longer Jin. Now I will be the debt collector. Your father just sold you so keep that in mind when we meet new people. You will refer to me as sir in front of everyone else." He says firmly and I slowly nod.

I couldn't help but think how that actually made sense. Coming from Konoha if I would have said he was a debt collector about to 'sell' me the merchants might've not let us travel with them. Or that would have made us memorable.

But an uncle collecting his recently orphaned niece was probably something more common.

He pulled me towards a less crowded street and then through some alleyways.

I couldn't help but look back as we left the crowd. We passed some kids sitting by some alleyways. Some of them were covered in dirt their faces hollow as they watched us pass by. I couldn't help but feel pity for them.

That was until we stopped in front of a door with a lantern hanging by it.

He knocked loudly and we waited.

I gripped my bag as I looked around. This alleyway was empty.

The door opened and a beautiful woman in a dark blue yukata cocked a brow.

"Sorry, sir. Our establishment isn't open at the moment." She says with an unamused look.

She was about to close the door but the man moved quickly and stopped her.

"I have some wares." He says lowly as he gestures towards me.

I stiffened as I looked up at her.

She opens the door and looks me over.

"How much?" She asks and he smirks.

"18,000 Ryo. She's quite young and well mannered. She isn't sickly either." He says and the woman sneers as she looks at me.

"Come child." She grumbles as I slowly walk forward. She didn't wait as she grabbed my arm and yanked me forward.

She gripped my face and forced my mouth open.

"Hmm, they're pretty. And she's healthy." The woman grumbles.

"Come in." The woman says as she steps to the side. The man walked in and I followed behind him.

He didn't take off his shoes, but he quickly made himself comfortable on the cushion-like chair that was on the floor.

The place was dimly lit with many candles and a few lights. The place smelled like incense and possibly tobacco or weed. I wasn't sure since it smelled a bit like both.

The walls were made of traditional rice paper and there were beautiful pieces of artwork hanging on them.

"Chizo, undress her so I can check her over." The woman snapped and a older girl was quickly at her side.

She dragged me behind a screen. I was in shock. What the hell did these people get me into?

This must be a tea house with a pretty questionable reputation. Sure the place looked luxurious but the people I was meeting made me question them and their intentions.

The girl Chizo helped take off my clothes and the older woman came in. She looked at me. I wanted to simply cover-up.

This was the creepiest shit I had ever been through.

"No bruising or noticeable birth defects." The woman says as she forced me to sit down.

"Is she a virgin?" She asks out loud to the man.

"Yes, she isn't from the slums. Just someone who had to pay a debt." The man says as the woman forcefully spread my legs.

I couldn't help but blush and try to close my legs.

"Chizo hold her arms." The woman snapped and the girl nearly stumbled as she hurried to grab my arms.

"Stop." I say as I try to pull away. "Quiet girl." The woman glared at me and I couldn't help but glare back but relaxed.

'Just think of it as a gynecologist. Don't panic, don't panic.' I chant inside my head.

The woman nods and pulls away. "Dress her." The woman snorts and walks away. "Here." The girl says as she starts helping me get dressed.

"Thanks." I grumble as I take my clothing and start slipping it on.

I could hear them talking about pricing and bargaining.

"Where are you from?" Chizo asks me and I can't help but glance at her.

"From somewhere in the east. I don't know the name of the city. My dad was there. We had lots of plants and fields." I say shyly and her eyes widen. "Really?" She asks and I nod.
______

I was sold for 15,500 Ryo. I can't help but say that I'm firmly annoyed.

I was at least 20,000 Ryo. I mean come on.

There were other girls here.

Their ages ranged from 8 to 16.

I had quickly realized that being the youngest meant that I was being taught how to serve tea and all of the other girls had seniority over me and could push their chores on me.

I found myself scrubbing kimmono's clean for the geisha and older Maiko.

I also wasn't allowed to greet guests and was kept in the living quarters.

The women here basically slept between jobs. Some people came in wanting a tea ceremony throughout the day. Some came to drink and eat in the afternoon and stayed till late at night.

But I had yet to meet my sensei. I was also attending some maiko classes.

I was learning to play the pipa and elaborate tea ceremonies. I had learned how to put Kimono's on in the academy and how to hide weapons beneath the many heavy layers of clothes, but here I faked ignorance because this was my 'first' time seeing such elaborate kimonos.

The girl Chizo was a meek girl compared to some of the other maiko.

The other girls seemed sweet and polite but I could already tell that they liked mess and drama. They gossiped and spread rumors about other maiko and quietly gossiped about the geisha.

I rarely saw the geisha. And when I did it was a rare sight. The women looked poised and were beautiful.

Their long dark hair pinned up in elegant styles their kimonos always beautifully placed and the way they moved reminded me of Yasu sensei.

The way they spoke always seemed to captivate me. They spoke softly and in a way sounded as if they thought out every word they were saying.

They were pleasant to hear except when they were scolding.
________

"Ichika. The Geisha are here, I think they are picking out apprenticeships." Chizo called out and I stood up.

"Really?" I asked as I dust myself off.

She nods and gestures for me to follow her.

I dried my hands and hurried to stand up. I looked down at my kimono and gently smoothed out the wrinkles.

As we entered the room the other Maiko were settling down quietly and getting in line to enter the room.

"Come now, single file." One of the older woman say.

As I got in line I took deep breaths and made sure to keep a calm demeanor.

Would I meet my sensei here?

As we were led in I made sure to walk just how my teachers had taught me. All the lessons Yasu and the women here gave me were finally of some use.

The room was wide and the walls covered in beautiful paintings.

The geisha sat quietly as they observed us. Their elegant kimonos gently tucked beneath them as they looked us over.

"We have some girls that have been training for a few years. Any of them catch your eye?" The older woman says as we all stand in front of them.

"That girl, how much?" One of the geisha speaks up.

"Oh, Asao-sama. She's a few thousand. She is trained in many instruments and has been studying many dances." The woman says with a soft smile.

I couldn't help but look at her. What was going on?

Did these women buy young girls from debt collectors and slave traders to train them and sell them to larger tea houses? Or did they let them stay here as well? I had noticed how there were some Oiran here as well. They weren't like the Geisha who were mostly performers only. The Oiran here sold their bodies to the men who came here.

So that meant you were bought out by the larger tea houses and trained as a Geisha or you stayed here and became an Oiran.

I paled at the implications, hopefully my sensei is a Geisha and she gets me out of here.

It made sense the place was luxurious but it didn't seem like we got too many customers. Or at least that's what I thought.

"What about her? The small girl?" One of the women spoke up.

"Ah, Ichika. She's only been with us for a few weeks. She seems to be a fast learner. She can do tea ceremonies but we haven't gotten to the dancing or playing yet." The woman says.

"I'll take her. I want a bit of a challenge." The woman says as she uses her fan to cover the lower part of her face.

I took in a slow deep breath. Was this Ayuri?

She was very beautiful her hair was dark and her make up was carefully put on. Her kimono seemed to almost glisten and the way she seemed to carry herself was soft and demure.

"I'll have her ready for you Ayuri-sama." The woman bows as she gestures for me to get up.

I slowly rise making sure to bow just the way I had been taught.

I glance at the woman through the corner of my eye as I was led away.

______

I was told to pack my belongings and that's what I did.

I kept the bag that Konoha had given me close and all of my possessions with me.

The geisha came and we left.

I was quiet as I watched her. Had I not known that she was my sensei I would have thought she was like the other women.

"Ichika right? Tell me about yourself?" Ayuri asked and I smiled softly.

"I am six years old. I come from the eastern part of the fire country." I say as I looked up at her.

"I've never lived in a big city until now, so please take care of me Ayuri-sama." I bow slightly.

Ayuri smiled and nodded as she led me out.
________

"Do the hand seals again." Ayuri instructed.

It was nighttime and we were alone. Ayuri had seals placed throughout the room and the only lighting we had was of an oil lamp that she had lit.

I nodded and moved my hands once again. I gently kneaded my chakra letting it gather in the pit of my stomach.

"Clone Jutsu." I mumbled softly as two copies of me appeared at my side.

I slowly exhaled as I looked up.

Ayuri smiled. "Good, your chakra control has been getting better as of late." She says.

"Now, show me your katas." She says as she picks up the small oil lamp.

I nod as I started to get up.

I had been with Ayuri sensei for almost a full year.

A lot of things have happened since then.

War broke out, Iwa had invaded kusa and had been making their way to Konoha.

They didn't get far because soon enough Konoha shinobi intercepted them.

Since then Kumo, Suna, and Kiri have joined.

But I wasn't in the fighting. I was in the city of Kyoto. As a maiko, I served tea, opened doors, and led customers around the tea houses.

What I did was take notice of important people like Nobles, merchants, and people with government posts. I would overhear snippets of information or eavesdrop on important meetings.

It was hard but I would memorize anything and everything that I could. At the end of the day, Ayuri and I would sit in her room and write down any and all conversations we overheard.

I wasn't sure how but those scrolls would be sent to Konoha.

Our jobs were to collect information and send it back.

On my time off I spent my day cleaning and in class. There were other maiko here and we would practice singing, dancing, and etiquette.

Unlike the first tea house where the older girls were rude and kind of bitchy, the girls here seemed to be more adjusted.

Sure they might be a little vain and air-headed but at least they weren't too snobby.

But at night's like these, we would go over my shinobi training. For most of the year, I had been training on sticking to surfaces and walking on them.

Also, I did a lot of katas and training. It had been a bit difficult to adjust since we couldn't make much noise.

When sparing I always had to watch my feet and make sure I wasn't stomping around or when I fell I had to practice falling silently.

If we made to much noise people would go and investigate and we didn't need that.

As a result, when I walked and moved around I tended to be real quiet. It wasn't a bad thing but if another ninja saw and noticed I didn't make noise while I moved it could place me in danger.

I had vastly improved but I was nowhere near as good as Ayuri. Even shinobi that were in the area would come 'see' her and never had a clue that she was a spy.

The town we lived at was at the border of Kusa. Which meant even foreign shinobi came here. And the tea house we were at was one of the more prestigious ones.

It was different. At first, I expected this to be root and that I would have to protect myself from being brainwashed.

Instead, I was finding that I was more of like a spy for Konoha.

Gather information, send it out.

I exhaled and moved to my next Kata.

Ayuri nodded. "Keep practicing that. For now, go to bed. Tomorrow a noble is coming to see Cho-sama. You are to be the one to escort him to the room." Ayuri-sensei says as she sets a photo down.

"You are to bring in the tea and serve. But do as usual. Key information is that this noble is thought to be colluding with Iwa and assisting them in the initial attack." She says as I looked at the photo and memorize the face.

"I will." I say with a firm nod.
__________

Days seemed to meld together.

Who knows how long I'd be stuck at this post.

"Ichika, have you seen my new obi? The silk merchant gave it to me as a gift" Fusako asked as she carefully did her make up.

She was 13 years old and was one of the more well-liked maiko.

Fusako had long brown hair pulled up in an elaborate hairstyle, she had long lashes and dark brown slanted eyes. Her face was narrow and her cheekbones were high on her face.

She was one of the more well-liked Maikos and she would always received gifts from her customers.

"I haven't Fusako-nee. If you want I can look for it." I say as I folded one of her Kimmono's.

"Do that. I really want to wear it with this Kimono and I'm meeting the same merchant. I want to show him that I do like the gift." She says as she carefully painted her bottom lip.

I bowed deeply. "Of course." I say as I begin to search for it.

I still wasn't serving tea or holding ceremonies or dancing with the other Maiko.

But when I did earn the right I would also start painting my lower lip and when I finally finished my training I'd paint both the bottom and top lip.

Also, I wouldn't be 'fully' trained until I came of age when I turned 16. At that time I would also be allowed to date and go out more. But by then I wanted to be back in Konoha.

"Also, can you make sure to polish my high red wooden sandals? I need them clean by tomorrow. Enko and I are doing a performance together and we want to have matching shoes." She says as she pulls away from her mirror to check her make up.

"Of course Nee-sama." I say as I found a package with the obi on her futon.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down so that I would not sound angry. She had probably known where it was and was just too lazy to look for it.

"Onee-sama I found it." I say as I carried the cloth in my arms and showed it to her.

"Well, help me put it on." She rolls her eyes as she stood up.

"Onee-sama, I can't possibly pull it tight enough. Let me bring someone who can." I say respectfully and she rolled her eyes.

"Then hurry." She huffed in annoyance as I set down the silk obi and hurried out the room.

I kneeled down and opened the door. I bowed deeply before I hurried down the hall.

It was annoying not to be able to just open the door and leave like a normal person. Here we were expected to follow traditions at all times of the day. Otherwise the mother of the house would become angry.

"Jin-san." I bowed deeply. "Fusako-nee needs help putting her obi on." I say and he nods. "I'll go help her." He grumbles as he went to wash his hands.

I hurried back and kneeled by her door gently knocking.

"Come in." She called out as I began to open the door and bowed.

"Onee-Sama, Jin-San will be assisting you with the obi." I say.

"Good. You can go now, and take the shoes with you." She waves me off as I grabbed her high wooden geta shoes and bowed before leaving.

I hurried to my room not bothering to knock as I walked in. I tossed her shoes on the tatami mat.

It was late in the afternoon. Food had been brought in for me and I sat down and ate.

"Ichika." I stiffened and turned to see Ayuri standing by the door.

"We have a mission. Tonight at 9 meet me in my room. I'll have your mission gear." She says and I slowly nod.

"Every night for the next week we will meet up. Unless there are red spider lilies in the flower arrangements in the main hallway. Is that understood?" She asked and I briskly nodded.

She didn't say anything else as she vanished' a small trail of smoke left behind where she had once stood.

I quietly sat down and ate my dinner. I still have three hours before I had to meet with her.

________

I made sure to stuff my pillows in my futon and quietly slipped out of my room.

I moved through the halls silently making sure to stay in the shadows. I could hear that some girls were still awake.

It wasn't uncommon for sensei to call me to her room like this so I was sure it wasn't something big. But being that she mentioned it was a mission I couldn't help but be curious.

I slipped into sensei's room making sure no one followed me.

The room was empty and there was a single oil lamp lit in the middle of the room.

"Were you followed?" I head Ayuri sensei asked and I almost jumped as I turn to her and shake my head.

"Good." With that, she secured the door making sure to jam it shut.

I noticed she wore dark clothing and her hair was tied in a tight low ponytail.

"We have a mission. Come." She says as she sits down by the oil lamp.

I followed behind her and sat in front of her.

"This is our target. He and his whole estate have been sentenced to death by the Daimyo. As the closest agents, the mission falls to us." She says and I could feel my breath quicken.

I had met this man. He was around his late 30's and would come for tea ceremonies. He was a nobleman who had a lot of business partners.

I had led him around the tea house multiple times.

"When you mean his estate do you mean.." I was unable to finish the sentence but sensei only stared at me for a moment before responding.

"No survivors, servants, samurai, women, and children. Everyone will die." She says as she begins to set down a small set of clothing.

"Change into this. These are your weapons. We will poison everyone there, the Daimyo wants them to be made as an example. We will hang their corpses at the entrance of their estate." She says.

I felt numb, my stomach swirled and almost felt as if it was twisting into knots.

I carefully removed my kimono and dressed in my shinobi attire.

We wore light clothing and a few weapon pouches. I tied my hair back in a low ponytail.

"We will gas their home and poison the water supply. All kitchenware will be coated in a light poison. It will take a few days but we will remain undetected. By the second day, the samurai will be too weak to fight and we will kill them. Or at least I will. You will kill the children and together we will deal with the nobleman and his wife. Failure and error will not be tolerated." She stated her voice was firm and unforgiving.

I couldn't help the rising bile in my throat, I could feel my hands tremble as I nodded.

This was it. After a long year of simply gathering information, I was finally being sent to my first mission.

Sensei strapped a tanto to my back and quietly explained the poisons we were carrying. I even wore thick gloves to handle the poison with.

She led me through the doors and I followed behind her.

'Breathe in, breathe out, don't think about it.' I chanted to myself as I followed through the thickets of the forest.

It was dark and I could barely keep my footing right as I followed sensei through the trees.

I was going to do this. I was going to kill someone. All this time I felt as if I was living a fantasy but this felt too real.

I pushed down my emotions. I couldn't afford to break down. I had to stay strong I couldn't break down now.

'You chose this, this is the shinobi life and you chose it. You have to..' I swallowed as I let my mind run wild.

I swore to try and save as many people as possible here, but if my job demanded it... Would I be able to say no?
____

The noble's estate was pretty large. I followed quietly behind sensei as she snuck us in.

We didn't poison the well like I thought we would.

Instead, we were in the kitchen pulling out plates and where they kept the tea leaves.

Sensei carefully showed me a mist technique that allowed a fine odorless poison on the tea leaves.

There were cabinets filled with plates and sensei instructed me on the Jutsu allowing me to be the one setting the poison.

I couldn't help but feel guilt swell in the pit of my stomach. Whoever it was that I was going to kill wasn't going to be able to fight back. I wouldn't have the adrenaline rush to push me to do the actual killing. I wouldn't be able to convince myself that I was morally good. Because I would have murdered a defenseless person in cold blood.

Every plate, every chopstick, even moving made me feel heavy. Like I was carrying the weight of my guilt for doing this.

Sensei and I moved through the empty halls as we also poisoned the Samurai's things. I followed sensei out and back into the woods.

The night was quiet, the only thing I could hear was my heart beating out of my chest. We looped around a farm and shrine temple that were nearby before turning back to Kyoto.

Soon enough we were moving through the tea house and changing clothes in sensei's room.

She carefully helped me undress and helped me into my sleeping kimono before walking me back to my room. I could also feel her cool hands as they rubbed circles at the base of my neck, I felt a sudden calm as she did this almost as if sleep was overtaking me.

"Sensei..." I mumbled out without being able to say anything else. How can one describe their dilemma between their orders and their own ethics.

"Shhh, sleep. It's been a long day." She whispers in a soft sweet voice. I could feel my eyelids closing and my body relaxing. My thoughts muddled before I was lulled into a deep sleep.

I woke up to another of the Maiko's standing at the edge of my futon. I sat up immediately while clutching my blanket.

"Ayuri-sama said you can sleep in, but as your nee-san, I can't let you slack off on your lessons." She scowled as she lifted her chin in a condescending manner.

"You're welcome. Also, I need my black kimono spot cleaned before this afternoon. I want to use it tomorrow for a tea ceremony and I want it to be completely dry." She sneers with a triumph smirk.

I bit my lip trying to hide my scowl. I was tired, I could still feel the same heaviness that I had felt last night. "Of course nee-sama and thank you for caring deeply about my education." I bow as I pushed down my anger.

'If Ayuri said I could rest then that meant that I was excused from my classes, but of course, Botan would find it within herself that she doesn't want me to have a day by myself.

The girl had a small face, her eyes were very narrow and her nose was small and slim. Her mouth was small and pouty while her face was soft and round.

She lifted her nose up in the air as she turned to leave. She kneeled by the door before opening it and leaving the room.

I let my body fall back on the soft plush of the futon and I scowled as I thought of the annoying 12-year-old brat that had basically stormed out of my room.

I sat up and got out of bed. I fixed the covers and hurried to use the restroom.

Soon enough I was brushing my long hair and dressing for the day. I quietly walked out of my room and went to get something to eat. I couldn't help but wash my bowl and my hands multiple times. I wondered if the cook at least rinsed the bowls, maybe then they wouldn't be completely poisoned.

The day went by incredibly slow as I ran errands for the senior maiko girls. As night approached I made sure to check on the flower arrangement sensei had told me about to see if we would be able to meet up.

I snuck out of my room. As always I made sure the hallway was clear and that there was nobody following me.

Unlike yesterday I doubted myself. It felt as if someone would catch me and that they would know what sensei and I had done to that family.

I carefully opened sensei's door. I carefully slid into the room looking for sensei. My muscles were tense and I had to stop myself from attacking her as she seemed to appear in front of me.

"You are much more cautious today. Yesterday you didn't even check to see if there was someone in the room. Is it because you have come to the realization that you are always vulnerable to other shinobi?" She asked a grin plastered on her face as she mocked me.

"I.." I couldn't think about how to respond to that. "I watched you Ichika-chan. You even checked for poison on your plates, chopsticks, food and even your water. You are starting to realize how exposed we are to others outside of our home, our village." She says with a face of disinterest as she ran her fingers through my ponytail.

I stiffened as I realized she was right. I might've been training for a year but I kept my civilian and shinobi life separate. I never kept an eye out for other ninjas throughout the day except when I was training. For all I know I could've spoken to other spies. I slowly inhaled and exhaled, I wanted to keep my composure. I would just have to be more alert from now on. There was nothing I could do about the past.

"Good girl, keep your face impassive and push down your concerns. Never let the emotions show on your face. You must keep a calm demeanor and only react when needed. Show the expression that is expected of you. That's the first lesson on subterfuge." Sensei smiled at me as she placed my clothing in my hands.

' She turns everything into a lesson. Sensei is always telling me that I need to be calm and collected, Otherwise, I would not be able to make the correct decisions. Also staying calm means that I can think out things even more.' I thought to myself as I tried to coach myself through her lessons.

But it wasn't just that. I already knew some common sense. But she showed me how to think and use everything possible to my advantage. For example, being kind and respectful to the older Maiko. All of the geisha and the mother of the house would never believe if I ever did anything wrong unless there was solid proof of it.

I dressed in the clothes she gave me and put on my weapons. I followed behind sensei once again as she took us to the noble's estate. Just as before we snuck in I noticed that all of the samurai seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep. I could tell that some of them were shivering and their breaths had quickened.

As we made it into the kitchen we began the same progress as the day before. "The first poison helps block chakra manipulation and it works the best and faster when the victim is asleep. By tomorrow they will have a hard time molding chakra." Sensei whispered in my ear as she pulled out another poison.

"This poison takes 48 hours to kick in." She whispers as she goes through the mist jutsu she had taught me the night before. I took a handful of the poison and began working on putting it on everything as we had already done last night.

Once we finished we went ahead and left just as quietly as the night before.

Sensei once again tucked me into my futon. I laid awake for hours on end.

The poison we placed today would probably kill them. Sensei had simply told me that they took 48 hours to kick in.

Once dawn arrived I was already up and started on my chores.

Botan smiled as she noticed I was already up. She went on and on about the dress I had cleaned the day before and how she was so happy that I listened unlike the other maiko that were younger than her.

The day passed by quickly, I didn't feel the time and before I knew it I was sliding open sensei's bedroom door.

There were candles lit up and sensei had a tray with snacks and sweets. She gestured at me to come with her. I closed the door behind me and sat in a seiza position in front of her.

She cocked her head slightly a small sad smile gracing against her lips as she took my hand and tugged me toward her gently. She brought me close and gently cupped my face. "What's the matter.... Riku-chan." She whispered my real name softly causing my muscles to want to stiffen. I ignored it, inhale.... exhale.

"Good, you didn't react to your name. Your heart did speed up a little but you caught yourself Ichika-chan." She grinned as she stroked my hair.

"Tell me what is on your mind child?" She asks as she cocked a brow.

"They're going to die sensei. I helped, I poisoned them." I whisper out as I held her hand. The reality of it hit me. I felt as if my chest was swelling with emotion. No denial, I was killing people. The thought of it made me want to scream in hysteria.

This was not what I wanted when I became a shinobi. I always thought of myself as strong and invincible, as if the people around me were just background characters as if they didn't have a life, as if this wasn't real.

But the emotions I felt were real, I had come to accept that these were real people.

I had always been able to empathize with the people around me. I was always considerate of others emotions when I did things. That's why I had joined the academy because I wanted to make a change in the lives of the characters I vaguely remembered from my past life.

I wanted to help people, but here I was killing people for the mistakes of one.

I trembled viciously, my teeth chattering as I held onto sensei as she stroked my hair and whispered calming words.

"Shhh, child. You are only following orders. Your village will thank you for your service. It will be alright my dear student. I will lead you through this." She calmly coddled me as I tried to control my breathing.

I was panicking. Inhale, Exhale.
________

The next day I awoke on my futon. My head was muddled and my eyes stung from the amount of crying I had done the night before. What I felt was as if I could finally see clearly. Like when your ears popped and you can hear more clearly.

It was as if the reality of what shinobi did finally sunk in. The realization that I wasn't naive anymore. I had a duty and my orders where clear that I could not help anyone in that estate.

The day went by quickly, unlike the day before I didn't feel like if my mind was clouded. I felt aware.

As I dressed in shinobi clothes and armed myself with my weapons I followed my sensei. The moon was now visible, it wasn't a half-moon yet since the new moon had been less than a week ago.

"This is a map of the inside. The first two times we entered through here and made our way through here to the samurai and then the kitchen. Tonight you will go this way. This is the room of the noble's daughter. You will kill her. Then you go here to the older son's room. You will kill him as well. I will go through here and here and kill the servants and Samurai. You will wait here and we will go to the noble's room together." She ordered and I nodded as I pushed down the jittery nerves that were building up in the pit of my stomach.

With that, we once again snuck into the estate. the entire place was the quiet. Everyone was asleep even the samurai who had been keeping watch.

I moved quietly, panic seemed to fill me to the brim, what if someone saw me. what if I got caught?

As I snuck into the room I walked over to the futon as I looked down at the sleeping child. She was a little girl, her face was flushed a bright red, her breathing was heavy and her black hair was sprawled out around her.

I could feel my breathing become heavy as I looked at her, she was a toddler about the age of 3. My hands trembled as I reached for my kunai but I stopped myself as I noticed a pillow. Slowly I reached out to it and grabbed it. I carefully climbed on top of her and held the pillow above her face.

My heart was beating out of my chest, my muscles felt stiff and I wanted to scream and cry. I ordered myself to go through with it but I remained unmoved. I could hear her heavy breathing and almost whimpering voice and I was frozen.

'Do it, do it you coward. You already worked on your resolve last night. You came to terms with the mission earlier! Do it!' I screamed to myself internally as I hovered above her.

She let out another deep breath her chest rattling slightly as she was probably being killed by the poison. That pushed me over the edge, my muscles finally complied as I pushed the pillow on her small little face. She began to squirm but I was stronger.

I channeled chakra into my muscles as she thrashed beneath me. I remained unmoved as her limbs barely flailed around her. I stayed still as she stayed motionlessly beneath me.

Exhale, Inhale, I coached myself through my breathing as everything settled down.

I sat there with my hands firmly pressed against the pillow until my heartbeat slowed down. I blinked away the dryness in my eyes as I slowly moved the pillow to see what I had done.

Her once flushed face was a tint of blue, her eyes were slightly open allowing me to see her dilated pupils, the white around her eye had specks of red where blood vessels had burst.

I let out a shaky breath as I looked at the dead child beneath me as I slowly stood up.

My body trembled as I looked at the small girl. Her face was round with youth and her hands were so small.

I slowly backed away as I turn around and hurried out the room. I closed the door behind me and pressed the palm of my hands on my eyes.

I dragged my feet to the next room. I slowly opened the door and walked forward to the sleeping boy. He was older and much taller than me. He looked like he was around thirteen, but his face still had a lot of baby fat.

I looked down at him for a while as I forced myself to calm down.

"Kiyoko?" His eyes slowly fluttered open as he tried to get a good look at me. He probably thought I was his sister. My hair was a lot like hers but I was taller and my clothes were too different to have been that little girl.

His eyes widened as he tried to sit up but I pushed myself forward. 'kill him, kill him, kill him, kill kill kill!' the thought ran through my head as I pushed my self on top of him.

My smaller hands wrapped tightly around his throat. His hands pushed against my chest but I pushed chakra through my body making me stronger. I could feel my small pudgy fingers press tightly against his neck.

I could see a determined look in his eyes as he turned red and tried to push me off. 'He thinks that he will have to save his sister but she's already dead. Even if he could use chakra he wouldn't be able to.' I thought to myself as I watched him start to flail.

His fingernails dug into the skin of my forearms as he tried to move my hands away from him. I held him down. "Why won't you die? Please stop fighting it."I muttered as tears swelled into my eyes as he kept fighting. His eyes were watering as he was wheezing as he tried to push me away from him.

His hands pushed my face away, but I held on persistently. I could see his eyes widen, I could see a red color around the brim of his eyes his lips turned blue and he coughed blood and seemed to seep out of his mouth and his eyes began to turn red.

He struggled for a bit longer before his body began to give up. I let out a choked sob as he tried to fight back before his eyes rolled back and foam seemed to come out of his mouth.

I never released grip from around his neck until I could no longer see the rise of his chest.

My fingers were numb as I pressed even harder and my fingers seemed to meld into his flesh. It took me a moment before I could remove my fingers away from his neck.

I let out a shaky breath and I wiped the tears from my eyes. 'You are okay, stop being a wimp about it. You did what you needed to do now you can meet up with Ayuri.' I thought to myself as I tried to stand up. My legs were weak beneath me and I was breathing heavily.

I began walking to the door but my feet felt heavy. I felt tired as I moved to the area sensei and I had agreed to meet up at. I hid myself behind a flower arrangement as I notice sensei walk in. She carried a blade that was coated in blood and her eyes instantly landed on me.

I stumbled out of my hiding spot and stood in front of her. " Did you finish your part of the mission?" She asked and I slowly nodded as I tried to keep my arms from shaking. "Good job, Now come." she walked forward. I walked behind her as she slid the master bedroom doors open. The couple laid on a futon together.

Sensei pointed at my tanto and I nodded as I slowly pulled it out. She pointed at the wife of the nobleman and I nodded. I walked around the futon so I was where her head was. I crouched down and held the blade over her.

I gulped deep breaths as I tried to keep myself steady. I could feel sensei's gaze on me as I stood above the woman. My hands shook, I looked up at her and she gave me a firm nod.

My muscles seemed to protest against me but I forced my tanto down. There was the sound of flesh being cut and the wet sound of blood pooling around my blade.

The nobleman stirred at the sound. His eyes slowly opening. "Shhh, Cho-sama. It seems you have angered some people." Ayuri says, her voice was soft and like bells chiming.

The man stared up at her in horror. Her katana was pointing down at him and held him in place. I could smell the acid-like scent that came with him pissing his pants.

"The Daimyo's court and Konoha send their regards." Sensei says as she slices his throat in one swift movement.

I watched as blood sprayed the bed and his body convulsed. I stumbled back nearly dropping the blade as I fell back.

"You have done well. Come we must gather information." She wiped the blood off her Katana on his bedsheets and sheathed it. I followed to do as she did but my hands were trembling too much.

I followed behind her as we moved throughout the estate. There was a scent of copper that filled my senses everywhere we went.

We entered the study of the man, sensei took out storage seals and we began sealing everything away, she even ripped open the rice paper walls while I sealed away the documents in his desk.

Sensei grinned as she found a few secret compartments and sealed away all of the hidden paperwork.

"Finish here. I will move around and pick things up around the house. We leave when I return. We will finish tomorrow." Sensei says and I slowly nod.

My body felt numb and heavy. The only thing that seemed to run through my mind was the small children I had killed. I wondered if they felt too much pain. would it have been faster if I had used my tanto? I thought to myself as I worked.

Sensei soundlessly returned, her eyes studying me as I got up. She nodded and I followed behind her as we left the estate. I did not want to return.

The trip back home felt faster than before. Sensei helped me bathe and said nothing as she cleaned the wounds from my arms. She didn't say anything as she disinfected the fingernail scratches.

Her chakra glowed slightly green as she healed the small wounds and dressed me.

She laid me down in her bed, my head rested on her lap. Her fingers felt cool against my scalp as she softly began to sing and stroked my hair.

Her voice rang softly as she sang. My eyes felt heavy as I listened to the song about samurai. My eyes were trained on the single oil lamp.

At some point, darkness seemed to surround me and I fell asleep.

____

I woke up and slowly pulled myself out of bed. My body felt heavier than before. My eyes stung as I looked at myself in the mirror.

My face was pale and my eyes almost felt lifeless. I dressed and went to eat breakfast.

The chattering around me seemed so far away. Since I was always quiet I figured that they didn't notice my silence.

As the day went on and classes passed I did everything as if it were a motion.

"You should have the composure that Ichika gives. Completely poised, the patrons like a girl who can handle her emotions." The teacher gushed as the other Maiko narrowed their eyes at me.

But I couldn't find the strength to return the glares or to be bothered by them.

As the day went by I ate small bites of my food. The meals seemed tasteless as I ate.

Had I lost a part of myself? One year and a few months in this world and I was already so torn and broken. As I was now I knew that whatever foolish thought about outsmarting the village or prideful thinking that I would have made it through root without losing myself was just wishful thinking.

It didn't matter that I was an child with the mind of a adult.

If I had been placed in root I would have not lasted. I couldn't lie and say that I didn't value human life.

It was easier to stand from an outsider's point of view and claim that if it would've been me I would have done better.

But this lifestyle wasn't for the faint of heart. Maybe it was my accidental career path of infiltrator that forced me to come to the realization of this sooner than most.

Soon enough it was night time again and I made my way to sensei's room. Sensei had been waiting.

"So, how are you feeling?" Sensei asked as she patted the spot beside her.

"I, I am in disbelief. I feel like I was wrong. I shouldn't have. I feel guilty." I say as I sat beside her. I squirmed under her gaze.

"They were guilty, they have caused hundreds of deaths by siding with the enemy. You have no fault in it either. You did what was expected of you." She says as she holds my hands.

I felt comfort. She knew what I had done. I tried to push away the feelings of guilt.

Soon we were dressed to go out again.

The trip to the estate was too fast. I felt a cold numb feeling every time we came.

I was to just observe her. She searched the estate finding many hidden places and sealing away heirlooms. Anything found was sealed away. She dragged the bloating corpses out of the rooms and home. She hung them at the entrance of the estate.

As the first lights of dawn came to view, my last memory of the estate was the beautiful gardens and the hanging corpses of Cho-sama's family.
_______

The next two days I spent them alongside Ayuri, she let me shadow her throughout the day and into her tea ceremonies. In the nights she let me bring my futon and sleep at her side.

But from then on out I was aware of who I was, and I was no normal child. I was a shinobi and I had come to accept it.
_________
Hello guys, This chapter turned out to be longer than expected. I decided to give our main OC a new outlook to the shinobi world.

Murphy's law of what can go wrong will go wrong is a major aspect of this fanfic.

I don't want her to seem weak willed hence she always pushes herself to do what needs to be done despite her ethics and beliefs.

Rosymalik/Rosyhatake