I woke up with a jolt the very next morning, barely managing to grasp the fragments of the horrifying dream I'd just had before it all went away.

I was sweating. The room I was in was cold. Both so odd and opposite.

Exhaling shakily, I fell back on the bed and everything from last night slowly started to come back. It was so quiet. And Jamie wasn't asleep, I realised as I turned on my side to face him. He felt cold just like the air around us.

"Bad dream?" He asked, a murmur laced with sleep, and his gaze so blue and intense.

I inched closer towards him and he let me, watching. Assessing.

"It's cold here," I whispered.

Jamie frowned a little. "Which it normally is."

"What's normal is to have body heat." I brushed my fingers just below his jawline and it was almost fascinating: the way his eyes clouded over. "Which you don't have."

"I usually don't."

He wasn't wrong. The pulse on his neck was slow, and his skin was cool against my warm palm.

I hummed thoughtfully.

"What did you dream about?" Jamie asked. A soft shiver went down my spine when he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer under the sheets.

"Nothing," I said.

"What do you dream about?"

I sighed and let my palm drift down to his chest, over his heart and the way its beat matched my own.

"There's nothing ever good in them to remember," I answered honestly. "What do you dream about?"

The look in his eyes softened and it made me melt. It made my stomach swarm with crazy little butterflies. Because I was in bed with Jamie. Because he was here, looking at me like I was something much more than just a stupid hero behind a mask.

Because he was here and he was willing to have me here.

"I don't," he said, then he mimicked what I'd just done with him. Brought up his hand and traced the side of my face. "But I do remember dreaming about you."

His fingertips traced over my eyelids and then there was the cool breath, lips pressing just above my brows in a soft, lingering kiss.

"The first time I saw you," he whispered, "was the first time I dreamt about you too."

I pulled away a little, swallowing, before grabbing his face and kissing him. I kissed him long and sweet, shoving him over as he tugged me on top of him. I'd only ever straddled him when pressing a knife to his throat, when I was behind a mask and he was Ice Phantom.

But now, right now, there weren't any knives. Just my hands, touching, seeking him. I didn't understand how I had lived without the need to touch him for so long. Because now that I knew what it was like, what he tasted like, I couldn't think of ever stopping.

Jamie was intoxicating.

His hand wove into my hair and he gave a gentle tug, moving my head to the side as his lips trailed down my jaw.

"We should've done this ages ago." He whispered against my skin.

I nodded in a daze, only to stiffen when a soft, sudden tingle went up my spine, right where Jamie's hand was around my waist.

"Jesus." I breathed out, my head falling on his shoulder as I shuddered.

He stopped. "Sorry. Shit, sorry."

"No." It was like a spark, hot and cold, and it was like a sweet sweet pleasure. Jamie pulled his hand away and the cold tug was replaced with his hesitation.

"No." I managed it out, even if I kind of felt boneless right then. "Do...do it again."

A second passed by and then another when his hand slowly, unsurely, crept up the back of the shirt I was wearing--his sweater that I'd pulled on in the middle of the night--and settled right there. Cold fingertips brushing the base of my spine and I shuddered.

Because I felt it again. His magic.

"Oh fuck." I gripped his shoulders and pulled myself up so that I could look at him. Really look at him. His hair was a mess and his eyes--they were the darkest of greys out there. "That was..."

A slow smile curved on his lips. "Liked it?"

I shoved him playfully on the shoulder. "You shouldn't be allowed to do this."

"I thought it had hurt."

I breathed out a laugh and it felt like the cold was snaking around my spine, caressing my insides. I almost whimpered in response. "The opposite."

A dimple appeared on his cheek. "I can do a lot more."

Then there was a crash and I stiffened in surprise.

Not a loud one, but loud enough for me to know that it had come from outside Jamie's room.

"Did you just do that?" I looked away from the closed door and at him.

A tiny furrow formed between his brows. "I don't think so, love."

We both fell silent, alert and waiting for any more sounds. A break-in? I thought. And fuck, what if Penny hadn't locked the front door after everyone had left last night?

"Holy fuck." A loud mumble came from outside, which, I realised a little belatedly and in relief, sounded like Penny.

"Oh, that sounds like Penny," I told Jamie in a whisper.

He merely raised a dark eyebrow.

Rolling off of him, I stood up from the bed and fumbled around for my jeans, which were nowhere in sight. Bloody hell, where were they?

"Where are my jeans?" I asked Jamie in a rush.

He propped himself up on his elbows, the bedsheets pooling just near his torso. I swallowed because I actually really wanted to crawl back into bed.

"I wasn't paying much attention," he said as I peeked around the foot of the bed, "when I threw them away last night."

I sighed, putting my hands on my hips when I couldn't find them anywhere.

"Take something from my closet?" He made it sound like a question, head tilted to one side as his gaze, I noticed, raked down my body.

When I had some sweatpants on, folded twice at the bottom, I quietly left the bedroom after sparing one last glance at Jamie's figure still sprawled on his bed.

"Dee!" It was Penny, I realised, as I watched her halfway sprawled on the kitchen counter, sitting on one of the stools.

"You look like crap, Penny," I said.

"I feel like crap." She moaned and rubbed her forehead on the cool countertop. "You should've stopped me from getting shit-drunk last night."

"I tried."

"You didn't try hard enough."

Shaking my head, I went towards the coffeemaker and started making three cups of dark, strong coffee.

"You know what?" She mumbled. "I'm gonna forgive you though 'cause it's your birthday today."

"Thanks, Pen." I smiled.

She was still in the party clothes she'd been wearing last night. And as I looked around the lounge, I noticed that all the mess from last night was mostly cleared up. Even the paint from the walls.

"Where did you crash?" I asked her, looking over at the couch but finding just a stack of red solo cups there.

"Your bed." She stretched out lazily. "It's really comfy, by the way. I should totally move in with you and Jamie. Like, have you ever slept on the beds we have in the dorms?"

I poured the coffee into the three separate mugs I'd gathered.

"Talking about Jamie," she said and I could've heard the smile in her voice. It made me smile a little too.

I turned around, opening my mouth to say it was nothing (not when I didn't know if Jamie even wanted this, whatever this was between us, to be out in the open) when the door to Jamie's room opened and the person in question walked out himself.

"Hah! I knew it!" Penny slammed a fist on the counter. "You two came out of the same fucking room!"

"Jesus, help me," I muttered under my breath, as I watched Jamie walking inside the kitchen, totally choosing to ignore the words Penny had just said.

"Nice party you arranged last night." He told Penny.

I rolled my eyes.

"I know, right!" Penny said. "I got shit drunk so it must've been a smash."

I picked up the two mugs and placed one in front of Penny. "Here you go."

Then I motioned one towards Jamie, who was now frowning down at something on his phone. And not a usual frown, I noticed. His jaw was clenched. His face was guarded.

I cleared my throat and he looked up.

"Coffee?" I asked.

He stared. For a second, then two. Then pocketed his phone and ran a hand through his shower-drenched hair.

"I have to go." He said, slow and careful, and walked towards me. If I hadn't been paying close attention, I wouldn't have noticed the way he said it. I have to go, like yesterday morning when he'd dropped me at the hospital.

"Where?" I tried not to frown. He took the mug from my hand and placed it aside on the kitchen counter. Then he leaned close and placed a soft kiss on the side of my head.

Penny choked on her coffee, before mumbling, "Fuck, I must be trippy as hell right now."

Jamie pulled away, blue eyes watching me. "Happy birthday." He whispered and pulled away.

And I watched him as he walked out.

• • •

"So this is actually happening." Penny broke the silence.

I wrapped my hands around my mug of coffee and inhaled the bitter scent. "What is?"

"You, miss." She wagged a finger at me. "Hooked up with your walking, talking sex bomb of a roommate."

I didn't say anything, just stared at the front door where Jamie had left from. He'd not answered my question, I thought. Where did he have to go?

"Ah, life feels so good right now." Penny continued. "You've got a boyfriend, I've got a boyfriend. Finally. Seems like the perfect moment for the world to end."

I scoffed. "What did you do with the leftover punch from last night?"

Penny gave me a quizzical look. "Who says there were any leftovers?"

I gave her a look before chugging down my entire coffee.

"Hey, Dee?" Her voice softened to one that told me she was a little lost in thought. "It just got me thinking, like, everything feels so normal now. Or how normal should feel like."

"Yeah? How so?"

"It's just...we're happy. I had a great party last night. You were there too. It feels like ages since we last had an unintentional sleepover." She laughed softly. "The semester is ending and I'm not so busy with my blog anymore."

I raised my brows. "Why not?"

"Oh, you know." She waved her hand in the air. "No Ice Phantom and Cinder Girl skirmishes these days. Someone rumoured that she might've just retired, which I get is sad, but it's all back to how it was before. Before magic. You know, normal."

Normal, I repeated in my head. I couldn't ever put my mask on again. Not until Orias wanted me. Which, I realised with a sinking feeling in my gut, might not be for days. Weeks. Jon had said he couldn't hate me. Orias was family. He wouldn't keep me away forever, would he?

"And I will...I was gonna visit Mom and Dad next weekend. I thought I'd ask Neo to come along too." She added.

I looked up in surprise and noticed the wistful smile on her lips. Happy, she looked happy. And I really wanted her to be.

"You should," I told her, smiling. "I mean, you should ask Neo first. Because you know..."

"Yeah, I will." She inhaled deeply, crossing her arms and staring at me. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What about you and Jamie?" She asked. "Did you tell him what you've been hiding from me all along?"

I stiffened, the coffee mug in my hands growing cold.

"What..." I stammered. "Hiding what from you?"

Penny sighed. "I was a bit angry that you didn't tell me yourself. Sad too. It was like, so obvious. That you've been lying. I just...I thought you'd have told me, Dee. We're friends, aren't we?"

My heart was like an object being continuously pounded on. It was scary as I registered Penny's words, the look on her face, the way she was staring at me. Could it have been possible that Neo told her something, something that she wasn't supposed to know? Does she know about Cinder--

"Your uncle." She said. "There is no uncle. You lied to me about it."

Oh. "Oh," I whispered weakly. "That...I-I...there, um."

Penny stared at me as I stumbled over my words and I almost winced, clenching my jaw when I couldn't find the right words.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just...what else was I supposed to say?"

"That you have no family?" Her voice was soft, and so was the look in her eyes. "What did you think it'd make me do, Dee? Laugh at you? Make jokes about it?"

"No. No." I shook my head because that wasn't it.

"You didn't trust me?"

"I do trust you, Pen," I said, reaching out and taking her hand between both of my own. "You're my friend."

She squeezed my hand back. "Where do you go then, when you say you'd be at your uncle's?"

I huffed out a short laugh. "Jon's. My boss at the bookshop? Yeah, him. I've known his wife too for years now. I visit them at their house sometimes. Or at the bookshop mostly." Or it's the Agency. I couldn't say that.

Penny beamed and I was relieved, grateful that she wasn't mad at me. She was the closest of friends that I'd been left with and I couldn't even think of loosing her.

"You could've just said that instead of saying it was your uncle," she said.

I looked down, embarrassed.

"You have me, Dee." She added. "I'm your family, am I not? Family doesn't always have to be your blood. You've got me."

"I know, Pen."

"And now you've got Jamie too." Her smile widened into a grin. "I mean, come on. The way he kissed your forehead just then? Fuck." She fanned her face dramatically. "That was way too sweet for my dark and bitter soul."

I smiled at her, shaking my head and picking up our mugs to stash them away in the dishwasher. Penny continued chatting behind me, stuff that made sense and didn't make sense at the very same time.

I stared at the running water, thinking. Pondering over Penny's words.

I did trust her. She was like my family.

Then why had I never tried telling her about Cinder Girl?