CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
what i am.
season three, episode four.

CASSIE NOTICED MEREDITH CHUGGING A BOTTLE OF PEPTO BISMOL WHEN SHE ENTERED THE LOCKER ROOM. "Are you okay?" she questioned with concern, slightly grossed out. The pink medicine had always repulsed her.

"Um, yeah," Meredith sighed. "Are you?"

"I'm always okay."

"So, Izzie left the house this morning. That's a good sign," George said as he came into the locker room. He paused in his steps when he saw Cassie. "Oh, sorry, Cass."

"It's fine," she shrugged, tying her shoelaces and sending him a tight lipped smile. "Everything is fine."

George frowned at her, and then again at the sight of a sick looking Meredith. "Are you okay?"

"That's what I asked."

Meredith shook her head. "I'm just not feeling like myself."

"O'Malley has that effect on women," Alex smirked from the corner. "Ask Dr. Torres."

George scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"George, you threw Callie out on her ass," Cassie reminded him.

"I did not. Who told you that?"

Cassie looked at him obviously. "Callie."

"Don't worry," Alex shrugged, "I get it. She's hot, but she's not for you."

"Why's that?"

"Because she's hot."

Cassie walked across the room and flicked him on the head. "Shut up." She turned to George. "You're both hot, you're both awesome, and you're great together. You just have to apologize."

George gave Cassie a thankful look and began to exit the locker room, until he stopped in his tracks. "You think I'm hot?" he smiled.

Cassie laughed lightly, punching him in the arm and leaving the room.

The second she got through the doors, the smile wiped itself off her face and the numbness returned.

☆

"Let's go people. I've been in surgery since 2 a.m. I'm in no mood," Bailey said, leading her interns over to the patient's room.

"No cutting, no cutting!" Cristina shoved George as they joined the group after the others.

"Yang, you're late," Alex said.

"Hey, I got here before George."

"I'm here! I was here!"

"Nice of you to join us Yang," Bailey said, causing Alex to smirk.

"Oh, what are you smiling about?" Cristina scoffed. "Arent you supposed to be on the gynie brigade?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Meredith stopped suddenly, leaning against the wall while the rest of the group continued forward.

"Woman troubles?" Cristina asked as her and Cassie turned around to wait for the blonde.

"Men troubles," Meredith shook her head. "I think this dating two guys thing is getting to me. The stress of it. Finn, Derek. Derek, Finn. I think I'm getting an ulcer."

"McDreamy and the vet are making you sick?"

"Please don't call him McDreamy," Cassie shivered, sticking her tongue out.

Meredith sighed. "I just need to make a choice and get it over with."

☆

"Shawn Sullivan, 62. Had a minimally invasive bypass surgery two days ago to remove a blockage from his LAD," George presented.

"I'm all better now, thank you George. So, what do you think Miranda? Can I stop being a burden to you good people and go home?" the patient asked.

"You need to stop interrupting the doctors, Shawn," his wife scolded. "You need to listen to what they say."

"I need to get back to the dealership. They're going to can me if I'm gone to long."

"They can't can you sweetie, you're the best salesman they've got."

"What do you sell?" Cassie asked with a kind smile.

"Cars," he grinned proudly.

"My Shawnie could sell anything," his wife boasted.

"I believe he can," Bailey nodded. "What he can't sell me on, is going back to work before he gets his oxygen levels up. So put that oxygen back on Mr. Sullivan, before I even think about letting you out of here. And if I do, I want your word. Nothing fried, no alcohol, and no cigarettes."

"Oh, you're tough Miranda," he chuckled.

"I need your word Mr. Sullivan, or I'm not going to sign those discharge papers."

"I give you my word."

"Alright then. Mrs. Sullivan, you need to go to the front desk to fill out some paper work, and then you can take your husband home."

☆

As they walked past the nurses station, Meredith sat down on a bench and gripped her stomach in pain.

"You alright, Dr. Grey?" Bailey frowned.

"Yeah, Dr. Bailey," she sighed. "I just need to make a choice, is all."

"Cass," Derek greeted with a smile when he joined the group. "Dr. Grey, I am clipping a basilar tip aneurism. Any interest?"

Cassie saw Addison approaching and gave her a friendly smile, which she returned.

Meredith bent over, breathing heavily. Cassie moved to stand over her, bending down to her eye level. "Are you sure you're okay, Mer?"

"Dr. Bailey can I get—" Addison started, cutting herself off as she looked through the glass. Mark stood in the center of the lobby, shaking hands with Webber, each of them wearing wide smiles. "Oh my god."

Derek followed her eyeline, his face dropping as he saw Mark. "Oh my god," he groaned.

Cassie looked as well, a bright smile coming across her features at the sight of her best friend. "Oh my god!"

"Oh my god," Meredith gagged.

"Is that..." George trailed off.

"McSteamy," Cristina smirked.

Meredith threw up on the floor, causing Bailey to run over and Cassie to hold back her hair.

"Yeah, you're not okay."

George looked into the patients room, seeing him holding a cigarette. "No, Mr. Sullivan, don't light that!" he shouted, but it was too late.

There was an explosion caused by his oxygen mask, and the top half of his body caught on fire.

"Somebody get a fire extinguisher!"

"Call a code red!"

☆

Derek went up the stairs to talk to the chief, as Addison angrily approached Mark. Cassie decided to wait to say hello, since watching the drama unfold was too much to pass up.

After some arguing back and forth between both parties, which was indeed entertaining in Cassie's opinion, Meredith suddenly dry heaved and threw up in the trash can next to Cristina.

"Holy crap," Cristina and Cassie chorused, loud enough to be heard by the entire lobby. "Are you pregnant?"

Everyone on the floor stopped talking and turned to stare at the three interns.

"Oh, this is just perfect," Addison groaned. "An adulterous love child."

"Goes along with an adulterous sociopath," Derek mumbled as he walked between her and Mark. "Meredith—"

"Uh uh," Bailey shook her head, blocking his path. "You've done enough already."

Cassie and Cristina helped her to an exam room, the former sending an apologetic look to him in the process.

"Oh, doctor?" Mrs. Sullivan asked Bailey. "I finished filling out the paper work. When do you think I can take Shawnie home?"

"Uh..."

☆

"So, who's the father?" Cassie asked, moving around the ultrasound stick on Meredith's stomach.

"I'm not pregnant."

"I didn't think I was pregnant when I was pregnant either," Cristina shrugged, "But the fever, abdominal pain, non-stop vomiting—"

"I'm not pregnant," Meredith shook her head.

"You don't know who the father is, do you?"

"It would have to be Derek's. There's no way it could be Finn's."

"You haven't had sex with the vet yet?" they asked in unison.

"You gotta get out of that relationship immediately."

"Wait," Cassie paused, "I'm going be an aunt!"

"I can't be pregnant," Meredith said in denial. "Can I?"

"With McBaby!" Cristina cheered.

"Holy crap, I'm going to be an aunt," Cassie laughed. "This is like, the best day ever."

"Was I this mean to you when you were pregnant?" Meredith asked Cristina, selectively ignoring Cassie's comments. "Was I this mean?"

"I thought you said you weren't pregnant."

"She's not," Bailey informed, entering the room. "We'll have to run more tests."

"In that case, can I have some morphine?"

☆

"You," Meredith grinned, "are good friends."

Cristina and Cassie shared a look from either side of the blonde's hospital bed.

"You're so high right now."

"Actually, you're my best friends in the whole entire world," Meredith corrected herself.

"Now I just feel sorry for you," Cassie added.

Meredith frowned. "Why? Cause I could die today?"

Cristina sighed. "This is why I hate being around stoned people."

"If I did die today," she continued. "I'd only be remembered as the slutty intern who dated two doctors."

"One doctor," Cassie corrected her.

Cristina nodded. "One vet."

"Derek, Finn, Derek, Finn. I'd die as the girl who couldn't make a choice, right?"

"Probably, but none of that matters, because you'll be dead."

Bailey entered the room with George. "Dr. Grey, you've got a fever, high white count, and tenderness over McBurney's point, which suggests—"

"Appendicitis," Cristina, George, and Cassie answered in unison.

"Appendicitis," Meredith answered as well, albeit a little behind the rest.

"Dr. O'Malley, prep Dr. Grey for surgery. You're scrubbing in."

"I am? For Meredith's appendectomy?"

Meredith's eyes widened. "Uh, am I the only one who remembers last time George scrubbed in on an appendectomy? He almost killed the guy. Sorry George."

George shook his head. "I don't have to scrub in, Dr. Bailey. I could just—" She gave him a stern look. "Unless you want me to... not going to happen again."

"That good enough for you Dr. Grey?"

Meredith smiled. "You're pretty."

☆

"Boo," Cassie heard a low voice say from behind her, causing her to jump and quickly turn around.

"Mark!" she smiled, jumping up to wrap her arms around her shoulders. "Is it true? You're here for good?"

"It is," he winked. "Thought I'd surprise you."

"Consider me surprised," she grinned up at him, pulling back but not letting go as she tilted her head to the side. "And how does the rest of the New York gang feel about that?"

"They, uh," Mark paused. "They'll come around."

"Oh, beautiful denial," Cassie joked. "What a wonderful place to live."

He playfully narrowed his eyes. "You're not as funny as you think you are."

"Like I said," she sing-songed. "Denial."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, letting go of her waist and leaning against the counter of the nurses station. "I'm on the burn victim's case, by the way, if you want in."

"Isn't Alex on that case?"

"Karev?" Mark scoffed. "I don't trust him. I barely trust him enough to bring me my coffee. I mean, bone dry cappuccino, make it a double shot. How hard could it be?"

Cassie snorted. "You don't trust any intern. That's kind of your thing, if I remember correctly. That, and sleeping with the nurses."

"That's not entirely true," he defended himself. "I trust you. You're an intern."

"You only trust me because I'm your best friend."

"Don't sell yourself short, Cass," Mark disagreed. "You're a genius with a photographic memory. Of course I trust you with my patients."

Cassie grinned. "That, and the fact that you've personally taught me everything I know about plastics."

Mark shrugged, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "Yeah, that too."

☆

"Mr. Sullivan, I want to recommend a night of observation in the ICU before Dr. Sloan proceeds with your surgery," Derek said to the couple in the burn unit.

"Is that really necessary Dr. Shepherd?" Mark countered. "The longer we wait, the higher the risk of infection."

Cassie stood in between them, rubbing her temples. It was going to be a long day.

"I think it's important that we attend to potential life threatening injuries before moving on to cosmetics, Dr. Sloan."

"He's not here for a face lift, Derek. He's a burn victim."

"Why did you ask for a consult if you've already established a course of action?"

"Because I thought you were good enough at your job to put aside the personal and do what's best for the patient."

"My job? You're telling me how to do my job?"

"Alright, boys," Cassie intervened, holding a hand in the air. "Let's take a breather, yeah?"

Mrs. Sullivan walked up to the doctors. "Please, I'm sure it's complicated. And I know Shawnie's sorry for lighting that smoke. He was trying to keep his word to Dr. Bailey. He told her he wasn't going to smoke when he got home, and he was just trying to keep his word. He knows he did wrong. But he's a salesman, that's who he is. So could you just fix his face? Could you do that for us, please?"

"We will do everything we can, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan," Cassie said softly to the couple. "I promise."

Mark and Derek stepped away from the patient's earshot. "If what happened between me and Addison is so unforgivable, than how do you justify what happened with you and Meredith?"

Derek scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You want me to be the bad guy, fine. But I'm not the only bad guy here Derek. You and me, we're the same."

Cassie watched her best friend and her honorary brother storm off in opposite directions without so much as a wave goodbye.

"This is fun. This is a fun day."

☆

In surgery with Mark, Cassie was allowed to assist him quite a bit, much to the surprise of others.

When she was a medical student in New York, she did a program through her school that allowed her to shadow Mark for three months, so she knows the ins and outs of plastic surgery better than most residents.

Alex entered the OR, and Mark glanced at him briefly before returning to his work. "Where's my coffee, Karev?"

"I got pulled into an emergency c-section."

"Too bad. I was going to let you scrub in on a real surgery. Maybe next time, if OB can spare you," Mark said. "See ya."

Alex scoffed and stormed out. Cassie just looked at Mark with a brow raised.

"You're such an ass, Mark," she huffed a laugh.

"Hey, hey, hey," Mark smirked knowingly. "That's Dr. Sloan to you."

☆

"That was awesome," Cassie grinned up at Mark after the surgery was over and they updated the husband and wife. "Thanks for letting me scrub in."

"Any time," he smiled, tossing his gloves into the medical waste bin.

Before Cassie was able to respond, she was interrupted by a serious looking man in a black suit blocking her path.

"Cassandra Harper?"

Cassie froze, looking to Mark for help, who immediately moved to stand between them.

"Yes?"

"My name is Arnold Tyson," he reached out to shake her hand, "I am in possession of the last will and testament for Denny Duquette. Do you have a moment?"

☆

Cassie sat alone at Joe's bar, a glass of bourbon in her hand and her cheeks stained with tears.

"Cassie?" Mark said with concern, coming up from behind her. "I've been looking for you for hours."

"Take a seat," she slurred. "Join the pity party."

"What's wrong, Cass?" She stayed silent. "Come on, talk to me."

Cassie handed him an envelope, previously opened and wrinkled, while carelessly tossing back another drink and flagging down the bartender. "Get me another one, Joe."

"Cassie," he drawled, "this is a check."

"I know," she deadpanned, staring straight ahead, her eyes glued to the table.

"Cassie..." Mark looked at her with wide eyes. "This is a check for 10 million dollars."

She drunkenly turned her head, bloodshot eyes mingling with her tears. "Cheers," she smiled wryly, tossing back her fifth drink of the night.