CHAPTER TEN
make me lose control.
season two, episode three.

          "SO YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN HIM?" MEREDITH QUESTIONED, searching her pockets for some loose change. Cassie shook her head, handing her a five dollar bill.

"I don't know," she said honestly, pointing to the granola bar she wanted from the vending machine as Meredith punched in the numbers. "I miss him, a lot, but I don't want to be a bad friend to you."

Meredith paused, looking at Cassie as if she were an idiot. "That's why you're still mad? Cass, if you're looking for my approval to forgive him, you already have it."

"Really?"

"You two are family," she shrugged, "I know what it's like to have issues, real issues, with family, and this is definitely not it. If the possibility of me feeling betrayed or whatever is the only thing holding you back, you shouldn't let it. I won't be mad, I promise."

Before Cassie had a chance to think back on her words, Bailey called for them from down the hallway.

"Hey, there's a new surgical case coming up from the pit. Likely diverticulitis. Let's go."

Cassie quickly shoved the granola bar in her mouth, throwing away the wrapper as her and Meredith joined the others a few seconds late.

"Watch it!" the patient screamed, causing Meredith to stop in her tracks as Cassie ran into her back. "Hands off me! I could report you to the Chief, and you'd be out on your ass!"

Feeling her hand being grabbed, the brunette looked at her friend in confusion. After taking a closer look at the patient, it finally clicked; it was Ellis Grey. She squeezed back, letting Meredith know she was there for her.

"Where is the Chief?" Ellis screamed.

"Patient's name is, uh," Cristina paused, reading the chart. "Um, complaining of intermittent cramping pain and diarrhea. Also suffers from—"

"AMATEURS!"

Meredith began to inch behind Cassie, not letting go of her death grip on her hand.

"—Alzheimer's—"

"Patient's name?" Bailey asked, not receiving a response from a hesitant Cristina. "Yang, Patient's name?"

Ellis briefly made eye contact with Cassie, before noticing Meredith behind her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Mer," she whispered sympathetically.

"How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work?!"

The others stared at Meredith, as Cassie gave them a look that told them everything they needed to know.

"Ellis Grey."

George's eyes widened, as the interns stood frozen. "Meredith's mother."

"AMATEURS!"

☆

"Meredith, are you okay? Cassie, is she okay?" George shouted from the outside of the locker room. Although Bailey refused to let the interns in to see Meredith, the blonde hadn't let go of Cassie's hand since she saw her mother for the first time.

"Hey Meredith, you know my great grandmother?" Cristina tried to comfort her. "She died with Alzheimer's, so."

Izzie scoffed at her. "My god, why would you say that?"

"Look, I'm just trying to help!"

Bailey rolled her eyes, telling them to shut up. "Dr. Karev, stick with ETS case," she ordered. "Izzie, the Dr. Shepherd's need an intern up in the NICU."

While Bailey gave out orders, Meredith's gaze was stuck on the floor beneath her. "You okay, Mer?" Cassie whispered, so the others couldn't hear her.

"Yes," she answered, before sighing, "I don't know. I will be."

"Are you able to work today?" Bailey questioned, coming into the locker room after she sent the interns way.

"Yes."

"Because I would understand it if you wanted to be with your—"

"No. My mother and I don't have the easiest... it's just better if I'm working."

"Okay," Bailey nodded. "You're on scut."

"Excuse me?"

"While we take care of your mother, you can catch up on charting, run samples to the lab, go over—"

"I told you, I'm fine."

"Yeah, and I appreciate that you're fine, but I have to anticipate a certain level of distraction from you today. Even in the face of all that fineness. Not to mention, you haven't let go of Harper's hand once in the past twenty minutes. So scut, now!"

Meredith reluctantly let go, leaving to do her charting, as Cassie turned to her superior.

"Where do you want me?"

"Did you know?" Bailey frowned.

She sighed. "Yeah, I did."

Bailey nodded, looking at her for a moment. "Alright, well, I want you on Dr. Grey's case with O'Malley. And keep an eye on Meredith, if you can."

"You got it," she agreed, making her way up to Ellis' room.

☆

"Cass, I really need your help," George begged, looking exhausted as he ran up to the doorframe when she got to Ellis' room.

"What's up, Georgie?" Cassie asked amused, taking in his disheveled appearance.

"I need you to examine Dr. Grey."

She furrowed her brows in confusion. "I thought you were examining her?"

"Yeah, well, no. She thinks I'm her ex husband Thatcher. Meredith's dad."

After a few seconds of staring blankly at his face, Cassie burst out in laughter. George rolled his eyes. "Her dad? You— you look like the dad of the girl you have a crush on?"

"It's not funny!"

"Oh, my god," Cassie wheezed, "Shut up, I'm trying to take a mental picture. This is amazing."

"Cassie."

"I mean honestly, I—"

"Cassandra," George glared, as she took a deep breath, stifling her laughter. "Help."

"Okay, okay," Cassie shook her head, "I'll examine her, but you're coming with me."

When entered the room, Ellis was busy rifling through her bedside drawers.

"Dr. Grey," George greeted her stiffly.

"Oh damn it, Thatcher! I'm at work. I've already told you I'm too busy to deal with you now. No more cartoons."

Cassie looked at George in question. "She means interruptions," he whispered.

Cassie thought for a moment, allowing a wicked smirk to take over her face.

"No more interruptions Thatcher," she said loudly, causing George to send her a bewildered look. "You heard the doctor."

"Uh, what are you—"

Ignoring him, Cassie made her way over to the surgeon. "Hello, I'm Dr. Harper," she shook Meredith's mother's hand, trying not to freak out at the presence of one of her idols. "It's an honor to meet you, Dr. Grey. I've always admired your work."

"So you're familiar with the laparoscopic Grey method?" Ellis questioned.

"Oh, definitely. I've studied hours of footage on the operation. You're incredibly talented."

George watched in wonder as Ellis relaxed. "Good. Well then, we're wasting time. Let's scrub in."

"Well Dr. Grey, I'm going to need to do a short exam before you start surgery. New hospital policy, annoying PR rule."

"Ah," she nodded, clearly not in a normal headspace. "Well, make it quick."

As Cassie was listening to her heart beat, she noticed the glares Ellis was sending George. "Why don't you wait outside Thatcher? I can take it from here," she said with a cheesy smile.

"I hate you," he grumbled, leaving the room and she laughed under her breath.

☆

After Dr. Grey's check up, Cassie was walking towards the OR to lend a hand in Derek's surgery, or more so to check in on Meredith, who was also scrubbing in.

Before she could get too far, the sound of multiple rushed voices caught her attention. Curious, she turned the corner, and froze in place at the sight before her.

Cristina was lying semi-conscious on a gurney, with Bailey and Izzie by her side.

"Cristina?" she whispered in shock.

"Her pulse is racing," Bailey said, not noticing the scared intern. "I need her on a monitor to get a BP. I want her started on a liter of LR, wide open. Izzie, run ahead to emergency and let them know we're on our way."

"Wait!" Cassie yelled, running up to them. "Wait, Bailey, you've go to stop—"

Izzie frowned, "Cassie, what—"

"Seven weeks," she blurted watching as Cristina faintly opened her eyes and gave her a reassuring nod. "She's pregnant, Dr. Bailey."

Izzie and Bailey stopped to look at each other as they moved the gurney into an elevator. "Uh, okay," the resident hesitated, turning to face Cassie. "We're going to pre-op instead. Find Addison Shepherd, Harper, and be discreet."

Moving as fast as humanly possible, Cassie searched the hospital for the attending. Eventually, she found her on the stairs talking to Webber and George.

"Addison," she called out, gaining their attention. "They need you in the OR, fast."

The redhead looked at her confused, since they had barely spoken a word since she'd arrived in Seattle. "I'm actually on my way
out—"

"As much as I would love to see you go," Cassie rolled her eyes, "It's Cristina. She— um, she's collapsed."

George's eyes widened. "Cristina's collapsed?"

"Why do you need me?"

"Why do you think?" she responded quietly, eyeing George.

After a moment, realization crossed their features. "Cristina's pregnant?!" George exclaimed.

"Shut up," she scolded, turning back to Addison. "Please?"

Addison nodded quickly, wordlessly following her to the OR.

☆

As it turns out, Cristina was bleeding out from an extra uterine pregnancy. Cassie was more than worried for her person, knowing that even though she planned to end the pregnancy, she wanted to do it on her own terms.

She began to scrub in as Addison began the surgery, but Bailey spotted her through the glass and blocked the door.

"Woah, woah, what do you think you're doing?" the resident frowned.

"Scrubbing in," Cassie stated the obvious.

Bailey shook her head. "No, you're not."

"Bailey, she's my best friend, she's pregnant, and she's undergoing a dangerous surgery. So yes, I am."

"No, you're not," she repeated, sighing. "That is exactly why you're not going to be in her surgery. Under no circumstances are you to enter that OR. You understand?"

After a short staring competition, Cassie looked into the OR, and then back to Bailey. "Screw this," she scoffed, ripping off her mask and storming out of the scrub room.

☆

Cassie wandered the halls, her mind racing with the worst possible outcomes for Cristina's surgery. George was nowhere to be found, Meredith was dealing with her mother, and Cristina was unavailable for obvious reasons, so she felt suffocatingly alone.

A body collided with her own; not that she noticed, as she kept walking without looking up.

"Cass?" Derek questioned, looking at her with concern as he followed after her. "Cass, are you okay?"

She stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"Uh, y-yeah, I'm—"

"I heard about Cristina," he said sympathetically, though he was still walking on eggshells around her. "Do you, um, do you know if she's going to be alright?"

Without warning, Cassie burst into tears.

Startled, Derek hesitantly walked around her, pulling her into his arms as she cried.

"This is stupid, I-I'm sure she'll be fine," she said into his scrub top, sniffling. "I'm just, um, I'm just w-worried, you know?"

He squeezed her tighter. "You have every right to be. It's scary, I know."

Feeling more comforted than she had in the past few days, Cassie looked up to her brother sadly. "I forgive you, you know."

"I— you do?" he asked, trying not to show his relief. "Really?"

She shrugged, "I need you. What you did was idiotic and a total dick move, but it's over, and I need you. So yeah, I forgive you. Just don't lie to me, ever again, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Derek nodded vehemently, being completely honest. "Never again."