CHAPTER SIXTY THREE
i always feel like somebody's watchin' me.
season six, episode three.

STEPPING OUT OF THE SHOWER IN A SMALL TOWEL, CASSIE BRUSHED HER HAIR OUT OF HER FACE AND STARED AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR. For the first time in the two months since George's death, her eyes were no longer puffy, meaning that she made it through the entire night without crying.

Her twenty fourth birthday had come and gone in the midst of her grief. As she glanced at the calendar on the wall to her right, it only just hit her that she'd missed the anniversary of her mother's death.

"Cass?" Cristina's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, the girl barging into the bathroom without bothering to check if she was decent. "Oh, you're naked. Cool. Uh, you're boyfriend made breakfast, if you wanted to eat."

Cassie opened her mouth to respond, only to pause as the word's processed. "Why is Mark here so early?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "All he had to do was walk across the hall."

Watching her leave with a baffled expression, Cassie stayed in place for several moments, before following after her. She didn't put on any clothes, trusting her towel to cover the important bits.

"Cristina, what the hell are you talking about?" she shouted out, making her way down the hall. When she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Mark, Callie, and Cristina eating breakfast, as well as a blonde woman she'd never seen before. "Oh, hi."

"Hi," the woman greeted, subtly looking her up and down as she turned her head to whisper to Callie. "Your roommate is naked."

Callie nodded. "She does that sometimes."

"Cristina," Cassie repeated, still wildly confused. "What did you just say?"

Before the woman in question could respond, Mark grinned widely, holding up a plate of perfectly cooked eggs. "Cass, you look absolutely beautiful today. Did you change your hair?"

She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

As the other three watched the conversation like a tennis match, Mark set the plate down, a sheepish smile on his face. "Well, you know how I've been looking for a place to live." Cassie didn't say a word. "The apartment right across from yours was for sale, so..."

With a deadpan expression, Cassie looked from her boyfriend, to the eggs, and back to her boyfriend. "You moved in across the hall?"

"Uh, yep."

"You moved in... across the hall," she repeated, her tongue running along the inside of her cheek.

"I did, but—"

"Let me get this straight... after I explicitly stated, several times, that I did not want to move in with you... you thought it would be a good idea to buy the apartment directly across the hall from my own?"

Mark awkwardly pursed his lips. "Surprise?"

Cassie just stared at him, stone faced.

"It's nice to meet you," the blonde interrupted with a grin after an uncomfortable lull in conversation. "I'm Arizona Robbins."

Cassie looked at her, attempting to smile back with a curt wave. "Cassie Harper."

With one last glance at Mark, she turned on her heel, storming back into the bathroom and slamming the door with a bang.

Mark briefly looked down at the breakfast he'd made for her, before taking the plate and dumping the contents into the trash can.

"She's pretty," Arizona smiled, popping a grape into her mouth as Callie and Cristina nodded in agreement. "I like her."

☆

Her head tilted back as she looked up at the front of the hospital, Cassie didn't move a muscle, waiting for the knot in her stomach to untwist before going inside.

If she were completely honest, Cassie didn't miss being a surgeon. Every time she so much as thought about surgery, a flash of Lily's dead body clouded her vision. She didn't want to come back to work.

But with Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey as her friends, she didn't really end up having a choice in the matter. Cassie just hoped that Webber would refuse to give her the job back.

Taking a deep breath, she eventually put one foot in front of the other, keeping her head down as she made her way up to the Chief's office. Knocking on the door twice, she waited a moment before letting herself in.

"I told you, Shepherd," Webber grumbled without looking up from his paperwork. "I'm busy."

"Oh, um, sorry, I can come back later," Cassie quickly apologized, moving to close the door before she was stopped.

"Harper?" he questioned, sitting up straight. "No, no, it's alright. Come on in. Have a seat."

Reluctantly, Cassie did as told, sitting across from him with her ankles crossed. She fidgeted with the long sleeves of her top, her gaze fitting around the room nervously.

She really didn't want to come back.

"I'm sorry for bothering you, I just—"

"No need," Webber held a hand up in the air, reaching down for a moment as she frowned. He came back up with Cassie's lab coat and ID badge, folded together neatly. "Dr. Sloan already talked to me. Welcome back."

Brows furrowing in confusion, she looked pointedly at the white coat as she spoke. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

Shrugging, Webber removed the glasses from his face. "Well, the day you quit, Dr. Sloan told me not to process your resignation. He was confident that you'd come back." Sending her a kind smile, he pushed the lab coat closer to her. "I'm glad he was right. With the merger coming up here in a few weeks, I'm glad to know that I have at least one reliable resident on my staff, that I can count on to help bring our hospitals together."

Eyes wide and her mouth dropped open slightly, Cassie just stared at him, trying to process everything he just said.

"The what?"

"The merger," he repeated as if it were obvious. "With Mercy West." Sensing her puzzlement, he slowly nodded in understanding with a tight-lipped smile. "I take it you've been a bit out of the loop."

"Yeah," Cassie drawled, holding the last syllable for several seconds. "Just a bit."

☆

Cassie stood between Meredith and Cristina in the elevator after changing into her scrubs, the uniform feeling unfamiliar on her skin. Anxiously biting her lip, she looked up at the floor numbers as they steadily increased.

"I talked to Callie last night about the residents at Mercy West," Cristina informed them, her arms crossed over her chest. "She said they don't suck."

The doors opened, Cassie turning to Cristina in confusion as they did so. "How would Callie know about the Mercy West residents?"

"Because she works there?" Meredith answered, raising a brow at her in question.

"What? Since when?"

Meredith and Cristina shared a pondering look as the three exited the elevator. "I wanna say... three or four weeks?"

"Yeah," Cristina agreed with a nod. "Ever since Webber fired her."

"Callie got fired?"

"Yeah," Meredith repeated, oblivious to the fact that Cassie felt like her brain was melting.

"Where have you been, living under a rock?"

Freezing in her steps, Cristina cringed immediately after she spoke. Meredith sent her a harsh glare, stopping to glance cautiously at her person. Cassie paused as well, taking in a sharp breath, before plastering a calm smile on her lips.

"Cass, she didn't mean—"

"It's fine," Cassie said, not making eye contact. "I'm fine. Cristina, what were you saying?"

"Um," Cristina stuttered, helplessly shrugging at Meredith over Cassie's shoulder. The brunette pretended like she didn't see it, staring down at her feet as she walked.

"Cristina."

"Right, Mercy West," she shook her head. "Okay, Meredith, you're safe because of Derek. Cass, you're safe because of Sloan, and the fact that you're you. Izzie's safe because of cancer, Alex is Bailey's new favorite, and even George would've been spared, because he was Owen's guy." Cassie swallowed harshly when George was mentioned, trying to shake the negative thoughts out of her mind. "You know, cardio has been a revolving door around here, and no one's got my back."

"So Arizona is your cover?"

"The Arizona from this morning?" Cassie clarified, not used to feeling so clueless.

"Peds surgeon," Cristina nodded. "She's merger-proof. She keeps little kids alive. No one likes a dead kid." Meredith raised a brow in slight concern. "Plus, they're under anesthesia half the time. How bad can it be?"

Cassie looked between the two. "Okay, so we've established that Cristina is freaking out. What about you, Mer?"

Meredith smiled softly. "You know, I feel like it's all gonna be okay. I'm getting surgeries, I'm consummating my marriage, like, all the time, and—"

"Marriage?!"

Cassie's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she froze in place, her jaw dropped to the floor.

"On a post-it," Cristina waved her off nonchalantly. "Barely counts."

Cassie put her hands on her hips, staring at the blonde with a blank face for several long seconds. With a huff, she dramatically rolled her eyes as she pushed between them, shouting at no one in particular as she stormed away.

"If anyone else has some life changing news they wanted to tell me, now would be the time!"

☆

Cassie walked with Cristina as they went to meet Arizona for rounds, dreading the day ahead of her. Webber hadn't had time to assign Cassie a service, and after learning that Callie was actually dating the peds surgeon, she figured that being on her service was a good way to get to know her.

As Cristina's interns updated her on the Chief's whereabouts for that day, Cassie moved ahead, getting to Arizona before the others.

"Cassie, it's good to see you again! Or should I say, Dr. Harper," Arizona smiled, holding multiple patient charts in her hands. "You ready for your first time in peds?"

"Um, yeah," Cassie hesitantly nodded, a halfhearted smile gracing her features. "Super ready."

Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she was handed a chart, opening it to find that they were performing a surgery on a nine year old that day. Folding the sleeves of her lab coat over her hands, she squeezed them into fists in an effort to calm herself down.

Arizona tilted her head as she observed her, though her thoughts were cut short as Cristina approached them.

"Okay, Dr. Yang," the blonde smiled with a perky hop to her step. "You ready for rounds?"

"Yes," Cristina said confidently, before turning back around to her interns. "Oh, um, continue with your course of treatment, and keep me updated on any new developments."

As the interns left to go stalk the Chief, Arizona pursed her lips, looking between the two. "You know, you guys don't look ready."

Cassie simply raised a questioning brow as Cristina straightened up, clearly trying to impress the attending.

"No, I'm ready," she argued. "I looked over your patient charts, and I noticed you have a shock wave lithotripsy scheduled for kidney stones this morning, and I was—" Arizona reached out, pinning a tiny pink teddy bear to her pocket. "—I'm, um, I-I've never done one of those... so I'm looking forward to it."

Arizona turned to Cassie, attaching a tiny green frog in the same place. Cassie looked down, giving it a little pat on the head as she did so.

Arizona grinned. "Now you're ready."

When Cassie looked up, the amused smile slipped from her face as she made eye contact with Mark, who was walking straight towards her.

"Cass," he called out, ignoring the other two as he came up to her and held out a chart. "I have two palatoplasties and a corrective rhinoplasty, if you're interested."

Not responding right away, Cassie's gaze darted between the two attendings. Slowly, she took a step closer to Arizona, making Mark's face fall a bit.

"I-I was actually pretty excited to be on peds today," she told him, barely making eye contact. "Maybe, um, maybe I can be on your service tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Mark nodded, his hand holding up the charts falling back to his side. "Yeah, uh, have fun."

Cassie simply sent him a tight-lipped smile, her hands still gripping the sleeves of her lab coat as he turned away.

"Okay then," Arizona perked up after a moment, gesturing for the residents to follow her. "Let's go."

As they made their way down the hallway, Cristina turned to Cassie, speaking quietly so she wouldn't be overheard. "You okay?"

"Mhm," Cassie hummed unconvincingly, continuing to look ahead as she walked. "I'm fine."

☆

After a long surgery with no one to assist him, Mark left the OR, tearing off his scrub cap and heading to the nearest nurses station. Spotting Lexie waiting for her patient to finish getting a scan, he made a beeline towards her, standing in front of her and silently staring her down until she finally looked up.

"Um," Lexie stuttered, awkwardly looking behind her in question. "Can I help you, Dr. Sloan?"

"You're young," Mark stated, much to her confusion. "You couldn't be older than what, twenty six, twenty seven?"

"Twenty five," she corrected, her brows knit together. "I'm sorry, what... what's happening right now?"

"Let's say, hypothetically, that your boyfriend asked you to move in with him—"

"I'm gay."

"Let's say that your girlfriend asked you to move in with her," he repeated, a determined look on his face as he didn't skip a beat. "How long, hypothetically, would it take you to say yes?"

Her eyes widening drastically, Lexie leaned in, lowering her voice to a whisper in a blind panic. "Did Rue send you?" she interrogated. "Oh, god, I knew I shouldn't have told her to spend the night, what if she thinks—"

"What?" Mark interrupted her with a frown, waving a dismissive hand in the air as he shook his head. "No, this isn't about you, this is about me."

"Oh," Lexie sighed in relief. "Okay then. Well, we would have to be dating for a while. And obviously, I'd have to be finished with my residency, and almost done with my fellowship. So, uh, six years, or so?"

"Six years," he deadpanned.

She nodded feverishly. "Definitely. Any sooner, and I'd like, totally freak out."

Mark just stared at her for several long seconds, an unreadable expression on his face, before turning on his heel and rushing to go find his girlfriend, shouting over his shoulder as he did so.

"Thanks, little Grey!"

"Anytime?" Lexie responded, tilting her head in wonder as she watched him leave around the corner, her voice lowering to a mumble as she talked to herself. "Poor Cassie."

☆

Cassie sat with Alex and Cristina in the cafeteria, a weight lifted off her shoulders as she drank her apple juice.

Arizona's kidney stone patient ended up not needing surgery, which was just in time, since Cassie was about ready to give up her atheism in exchange for a higher power to use their magic juju or whatever to keep her out of the OR.

"Nice pins," Meredith smirked as she sat down with them, pointing at the tiny stuffed animals perched on Cristina and Cassie's lab coats.

"His name is Mr. Bear," Cristina said blankly. "He eats children."

Cassie glanced down at the frog on her coat, scrunching up her nose in thought. "I think I'll name mine Jeremy. He kinda looks like a Jeremy, right?"

Alex looked down at the frog, nodding through a mouthful of his lunch. "Totally a Jeremy."

Meredith raised a brow at Cristina. "Not having fun in peds?"

"Well, our kid wants chocolate pudding really badly," she drawled, her spoon swirling around the cup of dessert. "This is the last one."

Cassie frowned in disappointment. "You're mean, that kid was adorable."

As Cristina shrugged carelessly in response, Alex spoke up, slightly disgruntled. "So, my triple-A got canceled. You guys got any surgeries I can get in on?"

"No, I'm on post-ops, and they're babysitting."

"You know, I can't stand it any longer," Cristina complained. "Can't you go to the Chief and use your dead mommy connections to get some answers?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "We don't need dead mommy. We are going to be fine."

Out of nowhere, Lexie came up to the table, plopping herself down on the seat to Cassie's left. "So, I let a crazy man escape, and he fell down a flight of stairs."

Alex perked up. "Is it surgical?"

"I don't know. I got kicked off the case," Lexie said matter-of-factly. "So then I went to go watch a surgery. I figured, I can't screw that up. And the second I get to the gallery, the shunt went south and starts bleeding." She shook her head. "I left before Shepherd could blame me for it."

"Shepherd's shunt went bad?" Alex furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, they had to convert to an open craniotomy. Something I'll probably never get a chance to do."

Alex shook his head to himself. "She can't handle a craniotomy."

"See?" Lexie gestured into the air, nearly smacking Cassie in the face as she did so. "Even he sees it."

"He's not talking about you," Meredith corrected her. "He's talking about Izzie."

As Alex got up and sprinted away from the table, Cassie sighed, exasperated. "Okay, wait, Izzie is back?"

Cristina and Meredith shared a look. "We really thought someone would have told you."

"Nobody tells me anything," she grumbled, stealing a handful of grapes from Meredith's plate and shoving them all into her mouth at once.

"I really admire you," Lexie spoke up after a beat of silence, looking at the side of Cristina's face. "In case I get cut and don't get a chance to tell you. Plus, you're really pretty."

Cristina paused, before passing her the pudding and getting up to leave. "You can have the rest."

Lexie grabbed the pudding and took a huge bite, turning to Cassie with a devastated frown. "And you're like, my role model," she admitted. "Also, when we first met, I totally had a crush on you."

Cassie sent her a hesitant smile, concerned for her well-being more than anything else. "Um, thank you?"

"And you and I," Lexie sighed, gesturing between herself and Meredith. "We were getting so close."

☆

Leaving the cafeteria and throwing away her trash, Cassie smiled at Ollie and Ryan, who were now second year residents rather than her interns. The couple waved back, hand in hand, before continuing their conversation.

"I can't believe you've never seen a single James Bond movie," Ryan accused.

Ollie gave him a look. "Babe, my favorite shows are Rupaul's Drag Race and House Hunters. I barely even know who James Bond is." As an afterthought, he added, "Plus, I'm gay."

Rolling his eyes, Ryan nudged him in the side with his elbow. "First of all, I'm gay, so you can't use that excuse. Second of all, are you serious? You don't even know the actors?"

"No idea, honestly."

"Sean Connery? Pierce Brosnan?" he questioned, earning nothing but a shrug. "Oh, come on, he's double-o-seven, man!"

Cassie froze in her steps, feeling her heart drop down to her stomach.

Double-o-seven.

And to think, up until now, she was proud of herself for going the whole day without crying.

Without hesitation, she turned on her heel, making a b-line for the nearest on call room. Only moments after she found one, the door to the on call room slammed shut, Cassie's back pressing harshly against the wall as a choked sob racked through her body. Sinking to the floor, she buried her mouth in the crook of her elbow to muffle the sound of her cries. Her head dropped between her knees, her breathing speeding up as her vision blurred from all the tears. In the midst of her emotional panic, she neglected to notice the eyes that were on her while she made her way down the hallway a few seconds prior.

Overcome with grief and not paying attention to her surroundings, she jumped in shock at the feeling of a hand coming to rest on her shoulder. Mark didn't say anything at first, only looking down at her with sadness in his eyes, before closing the door behind him as he knelt down to her level. "Hey, hey, hey," he soothed quietly in a whisper, ignoring the fact that she was startled by his presence. "Tell me what happened."

Shaking her head rapidly, Cassie attempted to take a deep breath, only to have the thick air get trapped in the back of her throat. "Nothing," she choked out, not making eye contact. "Nothing happened, Mark. I-I'm fine."

His gaze fitting over her features, Mark sighed heavily, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're not, though."

Cassie finally looked at him, the pitying look in his eye making her heart shatter into a million pieces.

Mark looked sad, she noticed. In pain.

He was in pain, all because of her.

"I want to be alone," she whispered, pulling away from the comforting touch she desperately needed. "Can I just be alone, please?"

Tilting his head, Mark let go of his grip on her shoulder, but didn't make a move to leave. "Cass, if you're still mad about this morning, I just wanted to say—"

"I want to be alone," Cassie repeated, her eyes locked onto the floor. "Now, please."

Mark looked at her, and for the first time in his life, he had no idea what the hell she was thinking.

"Okay," he said softly after a moment, getting to his feet and opening the door.

Despite every instinct in his body telling him to stay, that she needed him, he left her alone, crying on the floor.

Cassie wished he never saw her there in the first place.

☆

Hours later, Arizona walked up to Cassie, resting her back against the wall opposite the gurney the younger woman sat on.

"You didn't answer your page," the blonde stated, crossing her arms over her chest. "Emergency arm reattachment on a newborn. I could've used the extra hands in there."

Cassie looked down at the pager she was fiddling with between her fingers. "I'm sorry," she quietly apologized. "It won't happen again."

Arizona regarded her for a moment, before moving to sit next to her with her legs tucked beneath her.

"I couldn't go bowling."

Cassie frowned, a bit caught off guard. "What?"

"After my brother died," Arizona confessed, making Cassie fully turn to face her. "I couldn't go bowling. We used to go almost every weekend when we were kids. We made it a tradition, you know? But after he died... no matter how many happy memories I associated with it, all it did was remind me of what I'd lost." Sending her a soft smile, she gave her a knowing look. "Callie told me about your friend, and your intern. I'm really sorry for your loss."

Cassie simply looked at her, biting the inside of her cheek, before she turned her gaze back down to the floor. "She died on my watch. Because of me." Blinking away the tears, she bitterly shook her head. "How am I supposed to just... go back to work like nothing ever happened? And why... why doesn't anyone care that I killed someone?"

"Were you driving the bus?"

"I— what?"

"Were you driving the bus that hit your friends?" she repeated, completely serious. "Because if not, then you are not the one who killed her."

Cassie didn't believe a word she said, but nodded nonetheless. "Did you ever go bowling again?"

Arizona grinned. "League champion, 2004."

Smiling halfheartedly in response, Cassie sighed, feeling new tears making their way to the surface. "How did you get yourself to go back? How... how did you move on?"

Arizona shrugged. "I realized that I was spending so much energy trying to pretend I was okay for the sake of others, that I was actually making myself feel even worse." She studied Cassie's face, trying to tell her what she knew she needed to hear. "Eventually, I understood that the only way to move on, was to put a pause on my life and fix things from the inside out. I needed to be selfish, at least for a little while."

"Selfish," Cassie repeated in a whisper, her thoughts moving at a mile a minute. "Right."

☆

"What's going on?" Alex questioned as he came up to Meredith, with Cristina and Izzie following after him. "You paged us."

"Check your email," Meredith said nervously, ringing her phone between her hands.

"For what?" Izzie asked, exhausted from performing a long surgery on her first day back at work.

"HR. If you got cut, you'll have an email," Meredith sighed as the other three whipped out their phones as fast as possible. "I didn't get one, but... I've been calm. Through this
crisis, I have been calm. But if one of us gets cut, I will not be calm."

"No email," Cristina gasped in relief.

Alex let out a sharp exhale. "I'm fine."

They looked to Izzie, who took a moment longer to get to her inbox. The blonde smiled gratefully as she looked down at her phone. "I'm good, too."

Dragging her feet, Cassie approached the group, once again the last to know something important. A part of her just figured that was her life now. "You paged, Mer?"

"Did you get an email?" Cristina questioned, causing Cassie to shrug cluelessly as she took out her phone.

As the group impatiently waited, Alex broke the tense silence. "She's fine," he said surely. "Webber wouldn't hire her back just to cut her less than twelve hours later."

Cassie stared down at her email, hopeful, until it opened, and her smile dropped. Meredith's eyes widened as a murderous glare took over her features. "No, he did not cut you! I'm gonna march down there and—"

"No email," Cassie told her, swallowing harshly. "I still have my job."

"Oh," Meredith sighed, a calm smile once again taking presence on her face. "Good. See? I knew it. I knew it. I knew none of us would get cut."

"Yet," Cristina corrected her. "There's still gonna be another round."

As the residents conversed, no one noticed how Cassie quietly slipped away, wishing more than anything that she hadn't made the cut.

☆

The sun had gone down by the time Cassie left the hospital, exiting through the back doors to the parking lot. The second she heard her name being called, she turned around.

"Have you been following me?" Cassie asked, genuinely curious how he always managed to find her.

Mark hesitated, before nodding. "I— yeah."

"Okay, um," she said, her eyes darting around the vicinity. "That's fine, because I, um, I-I actually needed to talk to you."

"Me first," he held up a hand, taking a step closer so they were only inches apart. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. "I'm sorry, for not asking before moving in next door. I should've listened to you when you said you weren't ready, Cass, and I get it if you're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Cassie replied honestly, the dark purple bags under eyes more prominent under the streetlights. "I could never be mad at you, Mark."

"Oh," Mark's lips quirked upwards, before his smile dropped as he processed her words. "Oh. Wait, then what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

Cassie just looked at him, the words dying in her throat before she could speak.

His brows knitting together in worry, Mark reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, only to freeze when she took a huge step back from him.

The longer she looked at him, the harder it was to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling. Biting the inside of her cheek, Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, the sleeves of her sweater held tightly in her palms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I-I'm so sorry, Mark."

Mark stared back at her, confusion written all over his face. "Why are you..." he mumbled, before the wounded glint in her eye caught his attention. "No," he denied the second he figured out what she was about to do. "No, Cass, you do not get to break up with me."

"I-I am so sorry—"

"No," Mark repeated sternly, feeling like this was coming out of nowhere. Cassie knew it wasn't. "Let's just talk it out, okay? I lo—"

"Please don't," Cassie shook her head rapidly, tears continuously falling down her cheeks. "Please don't say you love me, because if you do, that's just going to make this harder than it already is."

Mark narrowed his eyes, taking a step forward. "I love you," he told her anyways, his voice strong as he towered over her. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

"But you shouldn't." Taking another step backwards, she looked up at him through sad, glassy eyes. Mark frowned as Cassie ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not... I'm not the same person you fell in love with, Mark. Trust me, you love the person who I used to be, not the screwed up version of myself I am now."

"Cass," he sighed heavily, finally understanding where she was coming from. Looking down at her sympathetically, he made a move to grab her hand, which she dodged. "Your best friend died. You don't recover from something like that overnight, and that's okay."

Despite her silent protests, he put a hand up to her cheek, his thumb rubbing softly over her cheekbone. Closing her eyes for a long moment, Cassie sniffled, her head subconsciously leaning into his touch.

And then she removed his hand.

"When was the last time you were able to look at me without wanting to cry?" Cassie asked him, already knowing the answer. Mark looked at her, not saying a word. "When was the last time I made you smile, Mark?"

Mark just stood there, not knowing what to say. Because if he were completely honest with himself... she was right.

"You're going through something," is what he ended up saying. "Right now, I don't need you to be a good girlfriend, I just need you to be okay."

It wasn't until the words left his mouth, that he realized he said the wrong thing.

"That's the thing," Cassie huffed a laugh through her tears. "I'm not good to you."

"Cass, that's not what I—"

"You've been there for me through everything," she told him, her breath hitching in her throat. "You have been the most understanding, loyal, perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for." Shaking her head, she shrugged in acceptance. "You deserve someone who can be the same for you. You deserve someone who doesn't hurt you just by existing."

"No," Mark scoffed, staring down at her in disbelief. "No. I don't want someone else, I want you. I love you."

"I'm broken, Mark," Cassie sniffled, taking another step back. "And I can't keep relying on you to put me back together. I need to do it myself. I... I need to be selfish."

"Cassie," Mark said desperately, refusing to show how sad he truly felt despite the tears slowly making their way to the surface. "Please, just... just come with me. Just... just come home, and we can talk, and sleep, and then in the morning, everything will be okay. Just come home, please."

Pausing at the use of her name rather than the shortened version she was used to hearing from him, Cassie's breathing sped up, guilt wracking her body.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, her face scrunched up in pain. "I... I love you. I'm sorry."

Cassie turned around, her hand coming up to her mouth to muffle her cries as she ran to her car. She slammed the door and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, breaking down in sobs with no one there to help.

It wasn't until Mark watched her car pull out of the parking lot, that he finally let himself cry.