CHAPTER SEVENTY FIVE
superfreak.
season seven, episode three.

IT WAS COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT CASSANDRA HARPER WAS A PEOPLE PLEASER.

The first time she met someone, she was always polite. If a stranger needed a dollar, she'd give them five. When someone was upset with her, she'd apologize until she grew blue in the face.

At the end of the day, despite her constant insistence that she didn't care what people thought of her, Cassie just wanted to be liked.

Aside from Izzie Stevens—and Gary Clark, if he still counted—she couldn't name anyone who didn't like her, or at least anyone who didn't tolerate her presence. Honestly, it was her proudest achievement.

Until she remembered Amelia Shepherd.

Cassie couldn't recall a time that they'd ever gotten along, nor a time that Amelia didn't hate everything about Cassie's existence. If Cassie had hated her back, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but she actually rather liked the youngest Shepherd sister.

The fact that the feeling wasn't mutual kept her up at night, on occasion. Because the thing was, Amelia never told her why.

But Cassie never stopped being nice, never stopped trying to win her approval, even when it became obvious that her efforts were futile. Cassie was a people pleaser, after all.

(And maybe, just maybe, Cassie had a little crush on Amelia when she was younger, and perhaps she was Cassie's bisexual awakening. Maybe.)

But at the same time, Cassie was also prone to jealousy—solely when it came to Mark—and the two traits were rather mutually exclusive. So when Cassie rounded the corner into the main lobby, still wearing her street clothes with a cappuccino for Mark in her hand, she paused.

Amelia was there, in the hospital, standing right at the front desk as if she owned it. Her hand ghosted the shoulder of the man standing beside her, and Cassie tensed.

Mark. She was touching Mark.

(For the first time in her life, Cassie hated Amelia back.)

Of course, she knew that Mark's side of the interaction was entirely innocent, based on the way his eyes visibly brightened when he saw Cassie from across the lobby, not hesitating to beckon her over.

But when she started walking, Amelia visibly deflated, and Cassie plastered a grin on her face to cover up the way her jaw clenched.

"Thank you," Mark said quickly, wasting no time in bringing the gifted cup of coffee to his lips. He let out a sigh of relief, reaching out to tuck Cassie under his arm. "Oh, I needed that."

Cassie ignored him entirely.

"Hi, Amy," Cassie greeted, knowing full well that Amelia hated being called the nickname by anyone who wasn't Derek. Her lips remained quirked at the edges, but she subconsciously made a show of placing her left hand—the hand with her recently purchased engagement ring—onto Mark's chest. "Why are you here?"

(Okay, so, the question came out a bit harsher than she intended.)

Amelia's eyes darted between Cassie, Mark, and the ring on Cassie's finger, before her jaw loosened, a smirk on her open mouth.

She looked back at Mark, ignoring the question and choosing to respond with an awed, "Her? Really?"

Cassie's nails practically stabbed through Mark's scrub top, and it was only then that he seemed to realize that this interaction wasn't just a couple of old friends catching up.

"I was just telling Amelia," he winced, removing Cassie's hand from his chest under the pretense of taking it into his own. Not that she minded; she loved holding his hand. "That I'm an engaged man."

Cassie hummed, her smile sharp enough to cut glass as she nodded, which looked more like a rough jerk of her head.

"To Cassie," Amelia clarified, as if the very notion was unimaginable. "You're telling me the two sluttiest people I know... stopped being slutty... for each other?"

Letting her posture relax the smallest amount, Cassie just blinked. Because... yeah. That's pretty much exactly what happened.

"Pretty much," Mark voiced Cassie's thoughts, pulling her tighter into his side. "You gonna congratulate us, or what?"

He squeezed her waist, a silent request for her to play nice. Cassie complied, not because she had to, but because Mark was perfectly capable of being passive agressive enough for the both of them.

"Congrats," Amelia smiled, glancing between him and Cassie with a slow-building grin. "When's the due date?"

A deafening round of fake laughter left the engaged couple's mouth, and even Mark clenched his jaw at that one.

Cassie's eye twitched violently, and Mark's grip grew tighter.

(Right, she was supposed to be nice. For some reason, that wasn't coming naturally to her right now.)

"You're funny," Mark told Amelia, his tone indicating anything but. "Seriously, hilarious."

Amelia only shrugged. "I try."

Cassie's eye twitched again.

"So, what are you doing here?" Cassie repeated, much nicer this time.

(Okay, a little bit nicer. Kind of. Nice enough.)

"Derek an ass who won't return my calls," Amelia smiled tightly, and for the first time that day, Cassie felt an emotion other than annoyance; Derek had been pretty emotionally absent, lately, so she couldn't blame Amelia for taking the hard route. "Scratch that, Derek's an ass who got shot and won't return my calls, so I brought him a present, or a bribe, or a peace offering—whatever, I brought him that."

Cassie and Mark followed her gaze towards... a guy. Not much remarkable about him, but they assumed he must be sick or something if he was a 'present' for a neurosurgeon.

Mark raised a brow. "You brought him Brett Favre?"

Cassie tilted her head at him. "Who?"

"Football player."

"Since when do you care about football?"

"Guys," Amelia cut into their teasing, seeming all too amused with herself. "I brought him a brain tumor!"

Watching Amelia drag the man over so he could introduce himself, Cassie couldn't help but remember why she used to like her so much, even if she wasn't liked back.

Of course, Amelia was several years older, as well, so being liked back in that way when they were kids was never a possibility, but still. She had a certain quality about her that was admittedly captivating. False confidence, maybe.

Cassie's brief admiration was cut short when Derek rounded the corner, Meredith and Cristina in tow.

Oh, this'll be interesting, she cocked a brow.

Sharing a glance with Mark, they had a silent yet rather dramatic conversation with their eyes, before Mark tugged Cassie closer into his side and stepped away from whatever argument was about to unfold.

Cassie just wished she had popcorn.

"Oh, come on," Derek groaned, and if he and Cassie weren't still on the outs, she would've felt bad for him. "Amy, what are you doing h—"

"Well, if you'd pick up the damn phone, I wouldn't have to stalk you," Amelia cut in, not sounding apologetic in the least.

"Yeah, why didn't you call your sister?" Mark questioned, smirking, which Cassie followed up by providing a quiet yet admittedly instigating—

"Yeah, Derek, why?"

Mark and Cassie didn't even have time to high-five before Meredith's head snapped towards her husband, her voice wavering when she asked, "Sister?"

Derek sighed, as if the interaction had already drained him. "Meredith, Cristina, this is Amy."

"Amelia. He's the only one who gets to call me Amy." Sending a look to Cassie, who smiled innocently, Amelia looked back to Meredith, reaching out a hand for her to shake. "Um, nice to finally meet you!"

"Likewise," Meredith smiled, but Cassie could tell it wasn't entirely genuine.

(Probably something about meeting your husband's sister when your husband clearly didn't seem to want her to be there at all.)

"Amy—" Cassie started, before Mark harshly cleared his throat beside her, "—Amelia is also a neurosurgeon."

"Another one?" Cristina frowned, looking Derek up and down, who sighed. "You Shepherds grow them like weeds."

Derek placed his hands on his hips, and Cassie couldn't help but watch him closely. They hadn't had a proper conversation in weeks, and even when they did, their previous—well, technically ongoing—fight had made it incredibly awkward.

He looked... better. Which was... good.

"So, who's this, your husband?"

Still an asshole, though, apparently.

Cassie could see Amelia deflate a bit at the question, not that it was very noticeable. "Derek, this is Tom—"

"Todd."

"—Todd," Amelia grinned.

Derek rolled his eyes, rather exaggeratedly, a scoff pushing through his lips before Cassie so much had time to blink.

"Oh, best of luck to you both."

He didn't hesitate to walk away, Amelia following closely after him. The others waited behind, sharing apprehensive looks, and Mark removed his hold on Cassie's waist now that Amelia was no longer in slapping distance.

"No, we met on the plane," Amelia clarified, annoyance in her tone. "I think he has a pituitary tumor."

Derek paused, turning on his heel to face the man. Todd, or whatever his name was. "Did she say you have spongy hands?" The man nodded, and Derek hummed. "Were your hands on her breasts at the time?"

Todd chuckled. "Yeah."

Cassie looked him up and down, nose crinkling. Amelia was way too hot for him, in her humble opinion (the guy sort of looked like an ugly, older, store-bought version of Alex; not that Cassie was judging, by any means).

Derek looked back at Amelia, who didn't seem disturbed in the slightest. "So this was a mile-high hookup?"

"That doesn't change the fact that he's a very sick man."

Meredith took a step forward, and Cassie wished she could warn her that getting between a Derek and Amelia argument was like giving a loaded gun to a serial killer.

"If he had symptoms, it could be a tumor—"

"Not just could, it is," Amelia cut in, beaming smile still sitting prettily on her cheeks.

Derek didn't waste any time before pointing to Cristina, who seemed as if she'd rather be anywhere else. "Alright, well, this fine lady will find you a surgeon."

Cristina scoffed, most likely at being referred to as a fine lady, and Cassie genuinely couldn't blame her. There was a bit of fear in her eyes, though, which she found it hard to ignore.

Cassie watched as Amelia's face fell after her brother disregarded her pleas. It reminded her eerily of a time when they were only kids, and Derek wouldn't let her play with Cassie's Barbie dolls, despite the younger girl being more than willing to share.

"Derek, she's your sister," Cassie found herself saying, much to quite literally everyone's surprise. Derek's gaze snapped towards her, as if he couldn't believe that she was actually talking to him, let alone defending Amelia. "Can't you just do this for her?"

(Silently, Cassie wondered why she kept putting herself in situations where she was the peacemaker. She wasn't even that peaceful. Just ask Izzie Stevens.)

Derek hesitated, and Cassie thanked god for her stellar puppy-dog eyes which never failed.

Eventually, he stuttered out an apprehensive, "I don't—there are several surgeons in his hospital who are just as capable as me. He can get a consult with one of them."

Like she said, asshole.

"Okay," Cassie rolled her eyes, quickly deciding to test another strategy, "Then can you do it for me? I haven't been on a neuro case in a while, and I miss it. I—I miss working with you."

What she failed to mention was that, while neuro was fun most of the time, she'd actually been rather excited to be on Arizona's service that day; she and Mark had a young patient who required extensive skin grafting, and Cassie had already met him, and he was absolutely adorable.

If it weren't for Amelia, she would've been on her way to prep the kid right then.

Mark opened his mouth to argue that she was already on a different case, with him, but one sharp look from his fiancée shut him up.

Slowly, very slowly, Derek nodded.

"Fine."

Cassie grinned, clapping her hands together as a way of easing the tension. She was not successful.

"Great! Amelia, Todd, come with me. I'll take you up for a scan."

Visibly restraining an eye roll, Amelia sighed.

"Great."

━━━━━⭒━━━━━

A trip to the CT machine had concluded that Amelia was right, and Todd had pituitary tumor; Cassie wasn't surprised, as the youngest Shepherd was an incredible surgeon, even if Derek didn't always believe so.

After making an official diagnosis and scheduling the surgery, Cassie decided to take her lunch break early.

And out of sheer coincidence, with zero prior planning, Mark just so happened to do the same, which is exactly how they ended up—

"You know, they tell you these doors aren't soundproof, but I'm pretty sure that's a load of shit. We would've been caught by now."

Mark chuckled, the vibrations of his bare chest loud against her ear. "You've never been caught screwing in an on-call room? Ever?"

"No..." Cassie drawled, sitting up a bit, just enough to look into his eyes. She raised a brow. "Have you?"

"Pretty sure I've left Webber emotionally scarred."

Scrunching up her nose, a silent way of saying god, that would be so embarrassing, she didn't bother asking who he was caught with. Honestly, she didn't care, because she was the one who shared custody of three cats (and was currently naked in bed) with him.

"If that happened to me, I think I'd die."

Mark bristled, squeezing her closer to his chest. "Stop that. You can't joke about death until I say otherwise."

Cassie couldn't help but smile against his skin. "Wait, like, all death? Because if that's the case, I'll be the least funny person in his hospital. That's all my material."

"Cass."

"Okay, I won't," she snorted. "Wimp."

Craning her neck upwards, Mark's eyes met her own, and the pout on his face was too sweet for her not to kiss it away. She could feel him fighting a smile against her lips, before she pulled away.

"Cass—"

"Mark."

"Cass," he grinned, despite his clear efforts not to, "I wanted to ask you something, if that's okay. Something serious. I mean, not—you don't need to get anxious, it's not serious, serious. Well, I guess it might seem like it, but it's not necessarily—"

Cassie went from being content to being incredibly confused in just a few moments, the wide smile on her face quickly turning into a concerned one. "Okay, baby, I don't think I'm the anxious one here."

Mark cringed, and she stopped herself from laughing in pity at his inability to be earnest without tripping over his words. It was ridiculous, just like him.

"I just, uh, what do you think about what Amelia said earlier? About us... you know... expecting?"

(Cassie blinked. That wasn't what she was expecting, pun fully and unequivocally intended.)

"I'm pretty sure she was joking, Mark."

Did he think she was pregnant? Cassie and him had shared several bottles of wine only the night before, so if he'd thought that, he probably would've had the common sense to stop her. Also, while she was still remaining healthy and eating three meals a day (along with many snacks), her stomach was relatively flat, so it couldn't be that she had a bump either. Also, she was on her period the week before. Maybe he had a sixth sense for... pregnant women? But she would know first, right? Or maybe—

Cassie didn't realize how her mind had begun digging a hole until Mark snapped her out of it with a palm gently squeezing her face, her lips forming a pout.

"Hello? Earth to angel?"

"Huh? What?"

Letting go of her cheeks, Mark's hand moved to her hairline, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "I was saying, I know she was just messing with us, but... what do you think about that?"

Cassie stared up at him.

"About having kids?"

Mark shrugged, faux-aloof. "Yeah."

"Like... now? Because I have a surgery—"

"Cass."

Yeah, okay, so maybe she was acting dumb on purpose. Maybe she was stalling, trying to figure out what to say, figure out what she even thought.

Because that was the thing; she had thought about it, but her thoughts on the topic changed more often than the weather.

Cassie knew she'd be an... okay mom, but she knew Mark would be an amazing dad. They'd only had Peach and Peanut for a week, and he'd already bought them matching tutu's and brought them to the mall for a photoshoot.

(Pumpkin hadn't joined, as the cat still had an unwavering hatred for the man, but Cassie was pretty sure that was just a fluke.)

And cats and babies couldn't be that different, right?

But at the same time, she'd seen first hand endless horror stories of pregnancies gone wrong, women and children dying in childbirth, deformities that ruin a child's quality of life, leaving them in pain forever.

She'd been shot in the kidney, had open heart surgery, had various health issues, and was given the breast cancer gene by her mother, of which there's a fifty-percent chance of her passing it down to a biological child, as well.

With all of that, being an okay mom might not cut it.

"It's complicated," is all she whispered back.

Mark frowned, stroking her cheek with the back of his finger. "You gonna tell me why?"

Cassie shrugged. "I mean, with all the surgeries and injuries and stuff I've had, I don't... I don't know if I can have biological kids at all. I don't know if I want to. Which is... I know you do, so, if that's a problem—"

He squeezed her impossibly closer, and Cassie could no longer look at him with her head buried in his neck. "I don't care if they're biologically ours. I only care if I get to raise them with you."

"So... what are you saying?"

Cassie had pulled away again, just enough to look into his eyes, trying to read him. Mark just smiled. 

"I just love you, is all. I'd love our kid, too, if we ever had one. Doesn't matter if they grew in your belly or not. I'd love them, and I'd still love you. I'll always love you."

Oh.

As if by magic, Cassie suddenly changed her mind. Babies were cool. Maybe she could have them. She could totally grow a baby in her uterus. Why not?

(Or maybe, Mark just looked ridiculously beautiful in the dim lighting of the on-call room. Yeah, no, that was definitely it.)

"I love you more," she told him instinctively, before adding a quiet, "I don't know if I want a kid now, but... maybe we could talk about it later? Like... after I finish my residency and take the boards?"

He smiled down at her, eyes sparkling as if she were the ocean and he was the sun shining down on her. "Sounds like a plan."

Cassie smiled back.

A pause.

"We should have sex now, right?"

"Oh, I think it's a requirement, actually."

━━━━━⭒━━━━━

Unsurprisingly, Amelia had not yet warmed up to Cassie. In fact, she'd only gotten worse as the day went on.

After her and Marks conversation in the on-call room, Cassie was feeling more ready to take on the world than ever, so she didn't exactly blame Amelia for being annoyed. What she did blame her for, however, was snapping at her every chance she got.

"You know, I'd be perfectly fine without the random hospital facts," Amelia rolled her eyes, interrupting Cassie in the middle of her Derek-mandated hospital tour. "Your voice is giving me a migraine."

Sure, Derek wanted Cassie's forgiveness more than anything, but he clearly wasn't above using her as a way to get Amelia off his back for an hour or so.

Cassie had been in the middle of telling her that the name of the hospital had actually been changed in the merger, but apparently that wasn't interesting enough.

Stopping in her tracks, Cassie pointed to a set of doors, looking through the windows to see several doctors and nurses wearing pink trauma gowns. "And this is the pediatric floor, a place where I would much rather be, as opposed to here with you."

(If Amelia barked, then Cassie would bite.)

"Well, then feel free," Amelia wildly gestured towards the doors, rather extravagant in her movements.

Yeah, no, Cassie was over it.

She tried to do a nice thing, getting Derek to take the case his sister found for him. She was being nice, giving the youngest Shepherd a tour of the hospital she was about to operate in, and also not beating her up for presumably flirting with her fiancé.

Amelia had always hated her. She'd always been short with her, rude, even. But that was years ago, back when they were kids, and Cassie was a grown woman now, and she was over it.

"Not to be blunt, but what's your fucking problem?"

Cassie expected Amelia to reply with some half-assed denial, or a sarcastic joke, or something, but then she just... laughed in her face.

(Cassie wondered if she missed a joke.)

"Wow, it only took you twenty-five years to finally defend yourself," Amelia shook her head, her arms crossing over her chest, "Congrats on finally growing a backbone."

Instinctively, Cassie scoffed at the insult. She chose not to acknowledge the fact that it was true; her backbone was a rather recent development.

"Did I do something to you?" Cassie's voice came out as strong as she felt, arms moving to cross over her chest out of defense. Amelia just looked at her, her eyes betraying her discomfort. "I'm seriously asking, Amy. What did I do wrong?"

What she didn't expect, was for Amelia to cave into her questioning so easily, not even putting up a fight. Knowing her, she expected some passive aggression, some bluntness, and a lot of sarcasm.

Essentially, anything but what she said next.

"You ignore him, and he's a wreck," Amelia barked out, and Cassie suddenly noticed the pain older woman's eyes, as if it had been hiding there for twenty-five years, "I ignore him, and he doesn't even notice."

Oh.

Wait.

This wasn't even about her, was it?

"Derek? You hate me because—what?"

Admittedly, this was all a little much for three in the afternoon on a Monday. That being said, thinking about Derek at any point as of late felt pretty emotionally taxing in general.

Amelia shook her head, as if she was scolding herself for saying anything in the first place. "It never changes, Cassie. You'll always be his perfect little sister, and I'll always be the one he doesn't even trust enough to give me the fucking car keys."

(At this point, Cassie was more clueless than she had been when she thought George was performing surgery as opposed to being flattened beneath a city bus.)

"I'm sorry, I—did something happen, or—"

"He doesn't trust me," Amelia emphasized, and Cassie had the sneaking feeling that something did happen while she was—occupied—with Mark. "This is my patient, I diagnosed him, and I'm treating him. Why can't—he won't get it through his thick skull that I—I'm not the same person I used to be. I am just as capable as he is."

"Yeah, I—I agree..."

Cassie wasn't entirely sure what Amelia's rant had to do with why she'd hated her for her entire life, but she also wasn't one to kick a girl while she's down, so.

"Well, that makes one of you."

Watching the way the older woman shifted on her feet, Cassie bit the inside of her cheek. "Okay, so, let me get this straight... you hate me, because... Derek is an insecure little bitch?"

Amelia laughed again, only this time, it was genuine.

The laugh faded almost as quickly as it came. Cassie frowned when Amelia started speaking again.

"I never hated you, I hated the—look, you can't stand there and tell me Derek didn't treat you like his baby sister instead of—" she cleared her throat, "—instead of me."

Oh.

"Amelia—"

"And before you're like, oh my god, I feel so bad, here's all this puppy-dog eyed guilt and pity, I just—I don't want it, okay?"

Cassie quickly shut her mouth, which was open to give Amelia the aforementioned puppy-dog eyed guilt and pity.

"Okay. You're, I mean... you're right, though."

"I know I am."

Cassie lightly shook her head, not expecting any other response than the one she got. After a pause, she chose her next words carefully.

"But I'm not sorry," she told her, and she could see the defensiveness come back into Amelia's eyes, "I'm not sorry, because I was always kind to you, and no offense, but you treated me like shit."

Amelia tongued her cheek.

"That's... fair."

"Derek is the one who should be sorry," Cassie continued, her lips carefully twitching upwards. "Not that the dick will ever apologize, or even admit it in the first place, but still. You didn't deserve that."

Amelia smiled back, ever so slightly, tilting her head.

"Jesus, Cassie, when did you get so..."

She gestured to her head, and then to her body, and back to her head. Cassie had no clue what it meant.

"So what?"

Amelia just shrugged. "Independent. Head-strong. Free from the shackles of my older brother's manipulation."

Eyebrows shooting to her hairline, Cassie scoffed a laugh. That was one way to put it.

"Um, probably when he punched me, or—well, no, because I actually forgave him for that—so it was probably when he lied to my face for thirteen years about my secret half-brother."

A pause.

Cassie froze. Wait, she wasn't supposed to—

"Your what?"

(Fuck.)

Amelia blinked, one, two, three times, and Cassie didn't blink at all. Really, she was too busy weighing her options: one, tell Amelia everything and hope she can keep a secret, or two, make a dumb joke and pretend she didn't say anything at all.

"Did... did Derek not mention that?"

(Of course he didn't, idiot.)

Amelia laughed, again, only this time it was at Cassie instead of because of her.

"No, he didn't. Who is it, exactly?"

"Well that's... that's, um, you see, the thing about that is that I probably shouldn't tell you, just because of the... you know, the possible scandals and—"

A gasp cut Cassie off in the middle of her ramble.

"Oh, god," Amelia dramatically grasped at her chest, "It's not Derek, is it? Because the few memories I have of my dad are good, and I really don't—"

"No, no," she stared at her, bewildered at the mere thought, "No, it's not Derek, it's just Jackson."

(Okay, so, maybe she didn't have to say his name, but it was too late to take it back now, so.)

"Jackson who?" Amelia questioned. Cassie just puffed out some air through her cheeks, but said nothing, rocking back and forth on her heels. "Cassie, who's Jackson? Have I met him, or—"

"Are you talking about me?"

Cassie closed her eyes and slapped a hand over her forehead.

(Of course. Of course.)

Jackson came around the corner, stopping in his tracks when he saw the look on his sister's face. He frowned, gaze darting between the two women, before eventually taking in the fact that his sudden appearance probably wasn't helping much.

Cassie peeked one eye open, only for it to go wide at the sight of Amelia zeroing in on Jackson's stitched nametag on his lab coat.

"Jackson... Avery?" Amelia squinted, taking in his face, or more so his facial features. Glancing back over to Cassie, she squinted again, before her jaw dropped open in shock. "Jackson Avery?!"

(Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.)

"I feel like I've interrupted something," Jackson said, and Cassie couldn't help but to send him a glare despite the fact that he'd done nothing wrong.

"You think?"

"You're an Avery?" Amelia laughed, and both siblings were mildly offended when she literally slapped her knee in amusement. "Cassandra Lynn Harper Avery. Wait, your last name is—ha! Oh, my god, and Derek knew the whole time?!"

As much as Cassie wanted to be annoyed at her laughing, she pretty much had the same reaction. Well, post-panic attack, but same thing.

Jackson sighed, and he turned to Cassie, visibly defeated. "Okay, are you just telling everyone now?"

"It was an accident," Cassie shrugged. "Don't act like you haven't told anyone. April keeps being weirdly kind and, like, offering me her Doritos at lunch."

"Yeah, I told her you like them."

"What? Why?"

"That was the only thing I knew we had in common for, like, several months, remember?"

"Wait, she—" Cassie fully turned to face him, "Dude, how long has she known? Has she—you told me first, right?"

His silence was very loud.

So was the sound of Cassie's hand slapping his bicep.

"Ow!" Jackson winced, rubbing the spot with his unharmed arm. Cassie rolled her eyes. "Dude!"

"Don't whine, I barely touched you!"

Amelia laughed for the fourth time in the past few minutes, then, although Cassie wasn't sure she ever really stopped. "You two are related, wow."

In unison, Jackson and Cassie sighed.

"Please don't tell anyone," Cassie asked, although her tone betrayed the fact that she didn't believe the secret could be kept for long.

"I won't, I won't, don't worry," Amelia reassured her, and it was only then she seemed to notice Jackson standing in front of her. "Hi, I'm Amelia. Derek's sister, Cassie's newly reacquainted friend. I would ask your name, but I already know it."

Jackson smiled and shook her outreached hand.

Cassie also noticed his eyes drift downwards, and then slowly back up to Amelia's eyes, and she had a pressing urge to slap him again.

"Nice to meet you," he smiled, and Cassie wanted to vomit at the change of his tone of voice. It was almost as if he was... flirting.

Amelia checked him out shortly thereafter.

(Gross, but okay.)

"So, I'm, uh, we're taking out a pituitary tumor in a couple hours," Amelia informed him, "If you want to scrub in."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Jackson grinned. That damn Avery charm, Cassie could hear Mark saying in the back of her head. "Sounds good."

Cassie sighed again.

Derek, Amelia, Jackson, Meredith, and herself, all stuffed into a tiny room together for hours on end.

Fun.

━━━━━⭒━━━━━

"Okay, you see how I'm removing the tumor gently?"

Cassie didn't look up from her place next to Derek when she nodded. Aside from that morning, it was the first they'd spoken directly in weeks. Todd was sedated on the table beneath them, a part of his skull removed and his brain visible where the tumor took residence.

"Yep."

Ever so slightly, Cassie could see Derek's hand stop it's movements, before continuing on as if it had never paused at all. Across from her, Amelia snorted beneath her mask.

Derek glared at his sister through his lashes. "Something funny?"

Amelia shrugged. "Nope."

Beside her, Jackson looked wildly uncomfortable. On the other side of Derek, Meredith pretended like she couldn't hear a thing.

Cassie snorted, then, and Derek slowly and visibly came to the realization that his little sisters were kind of friends now. He sighed heavily.

"Avery, irrigate and suction."

The silence was deafening, only the beeping of the monitors and the noise of the suction tube filling up the air. Cassie tried not to speak, she really did, but it was all too uncomfortable for her to just let it be.

Also, not that she'd admit it—especially to Amelia—but she missed Derek, despite every logical brain cell in her head telling her not to.

It was a perfect excuse to talk to him without breaking the promise she made to herself; don't forgive him until he's proved that he deserves it. Mark had helped her come up with that one in the shower a few weeks before.

"So... how have you been?"

Cassie kept her voice low, as there was a full gallery above them; Lexie, Cristina, Alex, April, and some other doctors who weren't assigned a surgery at that time. Mark would most likely join in the next few minutes, she guessed while glancing at the clock.

Derek almost twitched while his instruments were inside Todd's brain. Almost.

"I—are you talking to me?"

Looking at him as if he were an idiot, which he objectively was, Cassie shook her head.

"No, I'm talking to Todd." Derek spared her a quick glance, like he had to double check she was being sarcastic. "Yes, Derek."

Out of the corner of her eye, Cassie caught Meredith roll her eyes.

The man next to her cleared his throat, stalling for time to come up with an answer. "I've been good. I've—honestly, I've been doing better, after everything. I—um, how have you been?"

(How nice of him to ask, two whole months after the shooting happened.)

"Good."

"That's—that's good," he nodded, handing the scrub nurse his surgical intruments and moving to replace them with new ones.

"Mhm. Mark and I are engaged."

The forceps in his hand clattered to the ground, and Jackson, Meredith, and Cassie jumped.

Collective PTSD was a sight to behold.

"Oh, don't tell me I knew before he did," Amelia laughed, sounding too boastful for her own good. "C'mon, they weren't even hiding it."

"I—I didn't know that."

Derek's voice came out shaky, either from the shock of dropping the intrument or the newly recieved information. Cassie raised a brow at him.

"I assumed Meredith would've told you. Or, you know, Mark. He hasn't shut up about it since it happened."

All eyes turned to Meredith, who looked back at them innocently, like she didn't know why they were staring at her to begin with. "What? I thought you already knew and just... didn't want to talk about it."

Amelia snorted again, shaking her head amusedly. "You seriously didn't know? She wears a ring, Derek! Oh, that's—"

"No," Derek snapped, and the mood took a turn for the worst in the blink of an eye, "I didn't know."

Yeah, maybe Cassie shouldn't have asked how he was at all. Maybe she shouldn't have answered honestly when he asked her, and maybe she shouldn't have even scrubbed into the surgery in the first place.

Regretfully, there was still a part of her that felt guilty she didn't tell him sooner. There was a part of her that assumed it was her fault, because wasn't everything?

"I thought you did," she whispered, realizing that their volume had gotten loud enough for the people in the gallery to hear. "Sorry."

Just barely, she could hear Jackson scoff, followed by a rough but quiet, "I don't think you need to apologize for that."

(Was sibling telepathy a thing, or was he actually paying attention to how she felt? Usually, it was only Mark who did that.)

Derek spoke next, just as loud as before, and twice as upset. "He didn't even ask me."

Cassie paused, as did the others, glancing at him in confusion. Amelia was the one to voice their thoughts.

"What was that?"

"Mark didn't even ask me," he scoffed, and oh, okay, Cassie understood now. "Not only did he not tell me he was proposing, he didn't even ask first."

(What was this, the nineteen-forties?)

A deep breath in, a deep breath out, and Cassie gave up. In her post-shooting therapy, she was advised to let things go, not for other's sake, but for her own. And that's exactly what she planned on doing, just letting go and—

"I'm sorry, who do you think you are?"

As much as Cassie wished that was her—and trust, it nearly was—Amelia beat her to it.

Derek stopped focusing on the patient altogether.

"Excuse me?"

Jackson and Meredith seemed to move further away from the three, scooting down the table as much as possible without being obvious. Jackson in particular, as he had yet to become accustomed to the Shepherd Verbal Wars they so often had.

"What is this, the nineteen-forties?" Amelia questioned, and Cassie internally applauded her for reading her mind, "Does your precious baby Cass need your sign-off before she can be given away to another man at the altar?"

Now, Cassie usually preferred to fight her own battles, but the older woman was doing such a great job; stopping her would be a bit counterproductive, wouldn't it?

(Also, she liked seeing Derek's face go red.)

Derek scoffed. "That's not what I meant."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure it is, actually."

"No," he retorted, and Cassie could see his knuckles turn white, "I just—I'm her brother, and Mark is my best friend, so it would've been appreciated if he—"

She didn't even bother correcting him on his facts, because the people who actually cared knew the real story. Cassie was the one to propose, and it was very melodramatic and sweet, so by all means, Derek was free to fuck off.

Amelia cut her brother off in the middle of the wind up to his long-winded rant. Cassie, at the time, was eager to hear what she had to say next.

That all changed when she opened her mouth.

"Brother? Please, Derek, have some respect for her real family in the room. You know, the one you lied about for, what was it, thirteen years?"

Cassie felt her heart drop down to her stomach.

Her eyes snapped over to Jackson.

His were wide open.

"Amelia—"

"You have no right to treat her like you treat me, because she isn't even related to you," the youngest Shepherd continued, speaking too quickly to interrupt, "Is that why you kept it a secret? Because you didn't want her to rely on anyone but you? That must be it, because you and I both know Avery's been twice the brother—"

"—Amelia—"

"—in the last year than you ever were in twenty-five of them! You don't get to be upset about this, especially not when she's finally happy—"

"—Amelia, stop talking!"

Finally, she did.

Silence followed, and Cassie wasn't even sure if anyone was still breathing. She definitely wasn't.

(Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!)

Okay, okay, okay. Damage control first.

Meredith heard. Obviously, Meredith heard, and that was a problem because she would undoubtedly be pissed she didn't know sooner, but she was manageable.

The nurses. All of the nurses heard, but Cassie was a widely respected resident in their eyes, so she wasn't too worried.

So did the anesthesiologist, but Ben Warren was nice, from what she could tell, and hopefully he wouldn't run to the press the first chance he got.

Cassie looked back at Jackson.

He was looking up.

The first person Cassie saw in the gallery was Mark, and she desperately wished he was the only one.

Cristina was next. Cassie honestly didn't even want to think about what was going on in her mind. Less manageable than Meredith, but she trusted her.

And then... everyone else.

Mark visibly tried to stop a guy from running out and spreading the word, but then another lady stood up and did the same thing.

Oh.

Fuck.

"Well," Derek suddenly grit out, his voice low and gravely as he stared right at Amelia, her guilty eyes wide and sincere when she realized what she'd done. "At least I didn't do that."

Cassie still hadn't breathed.

author's note ━━━━━━━━
THE DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA