A night out in Philly

I met a man and his wife up in Philly

Her name was Jane, I believe his was Willy

We went out for a drink

And soon Jane starts to blink

While old Willy, he is acting all silly

I decide it's 'bout time I retire

So I bow to the Lady and Sire

Jane is up on a table

Willy's really unstable

The pitch in his voice getting higher

As I turn around, ready to leave

Someone's pulling real hard at my sleeve

When I looked down to see

Who held on to my knee

My own eyes, I could hardly believe;

Because Jane couldn't stand up no more

She was crawling around on the floor

And Willy, you wonder?

He's roaring like thunder

I broke free, and I ran for the door