Hi, my name is Bella Twilight New Moon Dawn Bludsooker Menstruation Crustacean Station, and I just moved to a town that's super rainy.

As we drove into town, I looked out the window at the grey, rainy, dreary landscape and sighed. This wasn't nearly moody enough for me. That's when something shiny caught my eye.

"Later, Dad!" I yelled, jumping out of the speeding car.

"Caw!" My crow dad yelled, continuing to speed off.

I brushed off my ripped jeans and began pecking at the shiny thing.

"Could yo stop that?" A voice said.

I looked up and saw the hottest boi I'd ever seen in my 16 years of living. He was white as paper with slicked back jet black hair. His lips were red as blood and he wore a black cape. Only a black cape. I knew exactly what he was.

"I know what you are." I giggled, gazing into his coal black orbeez.

"Say it! Say it then!" He yelled back, his eyes filling with anger.

"You're...you're male Snow White." I replied, playing with my straight brown hair that I cut myself with a chainsaw I bought at Target on a Tuesday in March.

"Wut no. I'm a vampire lol." He said, confused. "My name is Count Chocula Dracula Vladimir Edward Cullen's Transylvania Batman Oof."

Wow, a vampire. That was sooo hot. I bet he was, like, 800 years old even tho he only looked 18.

"K I'm Bella." I giggled

"Yes, I know. Can I suck ur blood?" Count asked.

I nodded and he bit into my neck.

"Slurpy slurp slurp." Count slurped, drinking my blood.

I moaned in pleasure, and then I died cuz he drank all my blood.

"Oof" Count said. "is my last name, and I never got yours. Well, I don't care. K bye."

He began to walk away before sniffing deeply. "Wait, girl, are u on ur period? I need me that."

He pulled a 'Let it Go' with his cloak and ripped off my clothes. It's a good thing no one was walking or driving around in the middle of town in the middle of the day, or they would've seen him eating me out.

His tongue went in and out as he slippity slurped my blood. When he's cleaned me out, he rammed his dick inside me. It felt so good. As he thrusted in and out he moaned. My corpse just laid there as he had sex with it.

"Oh, Bella, I'm gunna cum!!!" Count exclaimed.

I didn't reply cuz I was ded lol.

He came inside me and fell on top of me, licking the wounds in my neck.

"I luv u so much, Bella." Count whispered, thrusting into me some more.

"I luv u 2." I whispered back.

He looked at me, confused. "Wait, I thought u were dead."

"K lol" and then I died...again.

He picked me up and flew me to his big black castle and placed me in a coffin bed where we had more intense sex that was so sexy. He sexed me in my bootyhole.

We've been dating for 2 days now and are so in love. We have sex like 800 billion times an hour and it's all great. Us and our 180,000 vampire-human kids live so happily in Count's castle. Well, they do. I don't. Cuz I'm ded lol.