A/N -Ok so the once a week posting has not been working...obviously lol. Sorry about that! Since I have other stories going I have been trying to work on those as well. So, pls be patient with me. Thanx so much for all of your comments, votes and likes! After this chapter things will escalate a bit. :) Enjoy the read!

Ch. 12 “Love me when I least deserve it; because that’s when I’ll really need it.” –Swedish Proverb

Amber fields stretched for miles and miles. Tranquil, she walked through the weeds, towards the sunlight and tilted her face upwards to feel its warmth.

“Alla,” a weak, familiar voice, called out to her.

Emerald eyes immediately opened and eagerly sought out her mama, gasping when she suddenly appeared right before her.

“You forget yo’ promise. You ashamed.” Her mama looked down, burying her face in her fists.

“I’m not ashamed mama,” Alla insisted, taking a step forward to console her. Placing a hand on her mama’s shoulder, she continued, “I could never be ashamed of you. I love you!”

Mama held a fist to her heart, and beat it roughly. “You ashamed. You ashamed,” she repeated, shaking her head sadly, backing away from her.

“Mama! No! Don’t leave me!”

Further away she drifted, holding one tight scarred fist to her chest. When she finally dropped her fist, her hand slowly opened. A tarnished pendant fell from her hand and hit the ground.

An expression of heart-break dominated her mama’s features. She steadily met Alla’s gaze, before completely disappearing.

“Mama!” Alla jerked awake, and bolted upright. Tears streaked her face, as she tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat while she dreamt. Looking around the grandly furnished room; she caressed her chilled arms. Had she forgotten her mama, her family? When she first arrived to Liverpool, she’d thought about how nice it would be to be consumed with parties and dances, to only experience the good in the world and not the bad.

Alla hadn’t even realized that she had been doing those things; that she was consumed with parties, and distracted by the trivialities of life. In being so, was she beginning to forget who she was, and where she came from?

Ignoring the breakfast tray that was set out on her nightstand, Alla flung the covers aside, got dressed, and pinned her hair up into a thick knot, before leaving the room. Godfrey intercepted her on the stairs; his chin was elevated as he spoke. “His grace is occupied at the moment, so your assistance this morning will be unnecessary. However, there is a possibility that he will need your services this afternoon, and so you are to remain on the grounds today.”

“Very well.”

After Godfrey left, she headed in another direction to search for William. Was this another attempt to keep her away from Addison? Maybe it isn’t that at all, she thought, maybe…he wished to avoid her. Pushing her thoughts aside, she walked into the room William occupied.

Alla found him lying on his stomach in the middle of the floor, reading a book. Surprise lit his features when he heard her come in and she instantly smiled down at him. “We are going to spend the morning together, instead of the afternoon.”

His answering toothless smile was all she needed to brighten her day.

“So, what do you wish to do today? We can explore outside or read a book if you’d like.”

William’s lips pursed; and eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head in the negative. Puzzled, Alla tried again, “Well, we could also catch some more bugs outside or learn the history of…“

He solemnly shook his head again.

“William, what do you wish to do? There must be something.”

“You won’t wanna do it.”

Uneasiness crept into her features. One never knew what to expect from a five-year old. “Why don’t you give it a go?” she suggested, smiling.

“It’s not girlie,” he warned.

“I am willing to give anything a try, William…within reason,” she hastily added.

“Alright,” the little boy braced himself. “I wish to fish.”

“Fish? You would like to go fishing? I suppose we can do that,” she stated, relieved.

“But…you’re a girl. Girls don’t fish.”

“I am willing to give it a try. Have you fished before?”

He nodded.

“Okay, well then you can teach me. Come,” she said, excitedly, “let’s gather everything we shall need. Today, I will be your pupil.”

Alla’s excitement was contagious and he jumped up, gleeful. “Meet me outside,” he stated in a superior tone.

After successfully hiding her smile behind a hand, she gave him a stiff nod and salute, and met him moments later outside the front door. A few poles, and a tin bucket filled with various items were in his hands when he approached her. After relieving him of the items, the two started walking around to the back of the manor, and after that continued straight on.

After some time had gone by, and they still hadn’t reached their destination, Alla voiced her concerns. “William, this is quite the walk. How much further is this place that we are going to?”

“Ummm…”

His uncertainty made her pause. “There!” he exclaimed, facing a patch of trees and shrubbery, and pointing. “It’s way over there!”

“William, wait!” she yelled, after he began running.

Shielding her eyes from the sun, she found the patch of forestry, and at once, increased her pace to make sure he stayed in sight.A small gasp escaped her lips at the sight she beheld once she’d caught up to him.

“Daddy said it goes to the ocean,” he informed her, raising his voice over the sound.

“Wow,” she breathed in wonder. It was a magnificent sight, though it certainly wasn’t the pond she’d pictured. She would have never known that the river was even there, since it was so well hidden. The sight was a nice surprise.

“Alright, let’s set up our sticks and put them into the water.”

William laughed at her. “Polllles,” he corrected.

“My apologies; let’s set up our poles,” she grinned.

He shook his head prompting Alla to look at him in confusion.

“This isn’t the spot.”

“Well, where is it then?” she asked, looking around, before her eyes followed where his small finger pointed.

“William, no,” she firmly stated.

He pouted. “But it’s the only good spot.”

“I highly doubt that, it’s the same river. They are all good spots. We are not that far away from the place you want to go to.”

“Then why can’t we go?” Big, brown eyes implored her.

Alla dragged her gaze from the child and watched as the river raced with force over the boulders. The current certainly looked as if it were strong. How in heaven would they get across to where William wanted to be?

“It’s dangerous,” she informed him.

She didn’t miss the excitement that flickered into his eyes. Perhaps she shouldn’t have used that particular word.

“I’m sorry, bug. I don’t think so.”

“Puhleasse? I know a safe way across. Daddy showed it to me. He used to…” William lowered his gaze.

Alla bent down, forcing him to meet her eyes. “He used to what?”

“He used to take me there. Daddy doesn’t do things with me anymore. He’s too busy. I wanted to go where daddy and I used ta’ go.”

Darn. Alla sighed with frustration and looked to where William wanted to go again. It wasn’t just that the current was strong; the water was also high. Returning her gaze to William, she met his soft pleading eyes.

“Alright,” she gave in. “Show me the safe spot to cross.”

“Right there,” he pointed to a few rocks that barely peaked out of the river.

“I don’t know, William. The river seems—“

“It’s safe,” he insisted. “Daddy used to take me here, remember?”

“Alright, we will give it a try, but if I think it is too dangerous, we go back. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” he said excitedly, taking hold of her hand as they approached the river. Alla couldn’t swim, and dearly hoped that she could touch the bottom of the riverbed. Sitting down on the grass, she slid her stockings off, and touched a single toe to the water.

“Bloody…!” She quickly turned to William who stared at her up at her in wide-eyed surprise.

“I never heard a lady say that before,” he acknowledged.

“Let’s just keep it between us alright William?” she requested, thankful that she had the good presence of mind not to finish her sentence.

“Alright.”

Though the pristine, sparkling water magnified the boulders resting on the riverbed, it appeared as though she might be able to touch the bottom. Tightly grasping William with one hand while carrying their supplies in the other, she began leading him across the river on the boulders that peeked out. She tested each rock, making sure it was stable, before she allowed William to step foot on it. The last boulder seemed as if it would be the most difficult since it was further away, and covered in moss. After ordering William to stay put and tossing their items onto the other side of the riverbed, she put her foot on the last boulder. The second her bare foot touched the green-covered rock, she instantly slipped and fell into the frigid river, her shriek was drowned out by the sound of her body hitting the water.

COLD! This was the only word that went through Alla’s thoughts as she struggled against the current, her arms flailing about, searching for something to grab onto. When her hands hit a rock, she firmly took hold of it, and hugged it before emerging from the water with a gasp. Immediately, her eyes found a very worried William.

“Stay there!” she yelled out, fighting the current in its attempt to sweep her down the rushing river. Keeping her hold on the boulder, her feet sought the riverbed, and once she found her footing, she gave a sigh of relief, helping William across as she waded through the cold water.

Once they had made it to the opposite shore, Alla immediately sat on the ground and curled up.

“I’m sorry.”

When Alla saw that William was close to tears she smiled at him. “It’s n-nothing. J-just a l-little water.” Chill bumps covered her arms and her skin was slightly purple. “C-come on W-William; l-let’s f-fish.”

He nodded and hurried to prepare their poles. Alla stared across the river at her stockings, willing to do anything to have them at that moment. She would do anything to have anything dry.

Although she was freezing, she managed to put the pole that William prepared for her into the water and hold it somewhat steady, despite her shivers. William sat next to her, chattering away, and he’d just caught a fish when they both heard a voice call out to them.

Brandon. Why was he outside? It was quite unusual for him to be so, since it seemed he only made a habit of leaving the manor for some business errand or to attend a function. Her heart hammered within her chest and her breathing quickened once she caught sight of him.Now, there was no escaping the awkward moment that was sure to come.

“What do you think you are doing?!”

Alla could barely hear him, and so stood up and walked to the edge of the embankment. “What does it look like?” she asked, smiling and throwing her hands up. “We are fishing.”

He yelled out something that she couldn’t quite hear.

“What?!” she returned.

His mouth opened again, though she still couldn’t hear the words. She shrugged to tell him so, and saw his chest heave in frustration before he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. After standing immobile for a while, he finally sat upon the ground.

What does he think he’s doing?

William dropped his pole and jumped up and down, laughing, when he saw his father take his boots off. Next, he stripped out of his jacket, and rolled his trousers up.

“Your grace,” Alla yelled out. “What are you doing?”

This time he threw his hands up. “What does it look like?” he shot back.

“You should stay there,” she yelled out as he began crossing the river. “The last boulder is a bit tricky!”

He gave her a look that told her she was being ridiculous, as he made it to the last boulder.

“Your grace, I really think you should stay—.” SPLASH!

Alla stifled a laugh, but William wasn’t as gracious. He fell down laughing, clutching his tummy, and exaggerated the situation by rolling on the ground in hysterics. Alla shook her head at him but smiled nonetheless, before turning back to a very wet, very irritated Brandon.

A laugh escaped her mouth as he swiped his hair out of his face and immediately glared at her and William. His expression suggested that they stop laughing. They didn’t.

William stood up from the ground and took one timid step towards his father, holding the pole that captured a fish.

Brandon’s eyes fell upon his son, and he smiled. “What have you got there?” he asked. It was all the encouragement that William needed.

“I caught a fish daddy!”

“Very well done!” he congratulated with a wink. He squatted down and removed the fish from the pole. “Well, look at him,” Brandon pointed out the fishes eyes to his son. “You’ve caught him by surprise!” William laughed with merriment and hurried to prepare his pole to catch more fish.

Alla observed the two together. William yearned for time with his father, she could easily see that, but could he? Brandon watched his son for a moment longer, and then stood up, turning to face Alla, pausing for a second when he saw her appearance. A slow, easy smile spread across his face, and he tugged on a lock of wet hair when he stood before her.

“A bit tricky?”

“I tried to warn you.”

“You couldn’t say that it was slippery?”

She placed a hand on her hip. “I couldn’t say much. It was hard to hear over the river, besides,” she shrugged, “you acted as if you knew what you were doing. I hope you have learned a lesson from this experience,” she chided.

He raised his eyebrows, openly amused. “Oh? What lesson is that?”

“Always listen to me.”

“I do listen to you,” he said, intently.

Alla smiled but couldn’t hide her confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“If I didn’t listen to you, last night wouldn’t have happened.”

Did he always have tomake her uncomfortable? She looked at William as she grabbed a lock of her damp hair and began twirling it. His eyes followed the movement, and amusement lit his features.

Oblivious to his attention, she smiled, watching William. “He misses you.”

Brandon reluctantly tore his eyes away from her and allowed them to settle upon his son, “and I miss him,” he returned.

“Then change things.”

Brandon’s eyes settled upon hers. “Change things? What do you want me to do? I am constantly overwhelmed by various obligations and business matters. I hold an important position.”

“Yes, you do,” she agreed. “Being his father is an important position, indeed. Only, you do not see that. You put others before h—“

“What do you know?” he snapped. “You know nothing of the duties I face. My position does not allow me to disregard—“

“So you choose instead to disregard your son?” Her voice rose with her temper.

Brandon took a step closer; his sapphire eyes shot fire at her. “Be careful,” he warned threateningly, impaling her with his eyes a moment longer before leaving to stand behind William.

Hesitating for only a moment, Alla walked to stand next to him. “I didn’t mean to overstep. It’s only…I can see how he tries to be like you in his mannerisms, in the way he talks, and how he acts. We only came here, to this particular spot, because he said this is where you two used to come. He loves you, and I know that you love him. Do not miss out on his childhood. It will be gone in a heartbeat.”

“I know you are right,” he said quietly, still looking at the river. “I have never been good at…” he trailed off.

“You are the Duke of Manchester, and you are his father. To him, the title doesn’t matter. You are his father. Use your,” she flitted her hand about in the air, “connections to assign some duties to others so that you can be an active one.”

Brandon remained silent and immobile until William demanded his attention when he’d caught another fish. Alla backed up a few paces, letting father and son have their moment, hoping that she hadn’t overstepped again. Surprisingly, Brandon neither said anything cruel, nor had he yelled at her for expressing her opinion. Presently, his dark head bent over his sons’ in concentration as he removed yet another fish from the pole.

Declaring boredom, William set down his pole and announced that it was time to go inside. A surprised giggle escaped his lips as Brandon hefted him onto his shoulders, and grasped Alla’s hand, as he crossed the river. One touch; that was all it took for the flutters to start in her stomach, for her insides to shake and quiver.

Once on land, she pulled her hand out of his grasp, causing him to send her a curious glance before they started walking back to the manor. Once returned, Brandon announced that he was going to change, and wanted to meet with Alla in his office, afterwards.

He sat behind his desk, sorting papers. Alla smiled, remembering the last time she waited for him. Impatience and anger were profound in her demeanor; things had certainly changed since then.

Brandon came to his feet, giving her a quick smile, before coming around to the front of his desk. “I have some papers that I would like you to deliver; to this address,” he added handing her a card with the information. “You, of course, may take the carriage, but please return promptly.”

Alla nodded as he collected the papers and handed them to her, happy that he finally gave her a duty to fulfill.

“You will find some loose envelopes stacked in with the papers,” he told her. “Most of papers are already in sealed envelopes, but there are still a few I did not get a chance to seal up. If you could do that before they reach their destination; I would appreciate it.”Alla nodded again, standing up to leave.

Hands clasped behind his back, he stood before her. “I thank you for your honesty earlier.”

Alla paused. Honesty was not the word to use when describing her, and she was beginning to hate herself for it.

“It’s very easy to lose track of what is really important, isn’t it Katrina?” he quietly inquired.

“It can be,” she responded.

He gazed at her a moment longer before walking to the door and opening it. “The carriage is waiting for you out front.” Alla walked out, and noticed that he followed her, opening the carriage door for her. The footman who’d raced out retreated to the shadows of the manor.

“You did not have to walk me out,” she told him. “Your poor footman would, no doubt, appreciate being allowed to do his job.”

He grinned down at her. “I was already on my way outside. I am meeting William over by that tree you see there,” he said, nodding to the infamous tree of spit.

“Oh.”

Once inside the carriage, Brandon closed the door; giving the driver directions before turning to Alla. He extended his hand through the window, lightly brushing it against her cheek. “Return promptly.”

Mouth parted, and eyes widened, she could only nod jerkily, unwilling to trust her voice or her thoughts.After being gifted with a smile, she watched as he turned at the sound of the door to the manor slamming. An elated William bounded down the steps, and ran to his father. Alla watched the scene as the carriage took off with a jolt, and couldn’t help but crane her neck out of the window to watch them as the carriage left the lane.

Once off the property, she sat back in her seat and began rifling through the paperwork that Brandon had given her. Once the papers were in their proper envelopes, she relaxed against the seat, enjoying the scenery. The townhouses she traveled past could not by any means be compared to the manor, but they were modest and quite pretty. Alla decided that if her employment did not last with Brandon, she would love to live in an area such as the one she was traveling through.

When the carriage stopped, she opened the door, stepped out, and looked down on the card to verify the address, deciphering at once that she would need to walk a bit to reach her destination. She was able to steer clear of any mishap on the crowded walkway until one man bumped into her, causing her papers to drift to the ground.

“Pardon,” he said, tilting his hat to her, and hurriedly continued on about his business.

“Rude man,” she muttered; her hands darted here and there on the ground, retrieving the scattered papers whilst trying to avoid contact with the many feet that hit the walkway next to her.

Once the papers had been collected, she quickly stood and tried to straighten them out before delivering them surmising that there was one document that she’d missed. Once she located its envelope, she began sliding it in when something caught her attention. She quickly read the contents:

James,

I must, again, turn your proposal down. I understand your predicament. If you wish for my assistance with any other matter; I shall indeed extend myself. We were business partners for quite a while; because of this, I can understand your annoyance; and even your anger at the decision that I have made. However, I must reiterate that I no longer wish to invest in sugar production utilizing slave labor. I have become convinced that I should alternately invest in East Indian sugar production, a channel less polluted with human blood. I regret to thus dissolve our business ties. 

Regards,

Brandon, Duke of Manchester

Alla’s fingers slowly opened, causing the paper to drift to the ground as color drained from her face. She did not notice passersby’s looking at her curiously, as she remained motionless in the middle of the walkway.

“Miss. Miss!”

A young gentleman held the paper out to her. “You dropped this,” he stated, waiting until she took the document.

“Thank you,” she weakly replied. The man lingered a moment, probably wondering if she were in her right mind, and then took himself off.

Alla did not think; she could not. There would not have been a way to complete her duty if she had. After she’d cleared her mind, she delivered the documents to their destination. Once inside the carriage, she asked the driver to circle the block a few times, and then allowed herself to contemplate her situation. She’d fallen for a…for someone who’d had a hand in her people's sufferings, who'd spilt their blood. Coloreds were nothing but property to him as well. She shouldn’t have been surprised, or shocked, but she was.

Anger, hurt, and confusion were dominant in her heart, mind, and soul. She fell for someone that she hadn’t truly known; that fact seemed more apparent now, than ever. There was no possible way for peace to come between them. How could there be, when he was a man who had made his living from the tears and toil of her mama, of her brother, certainly of those just like them. Even if it was a different land, a plantation was a plantaion. A slave was a slave. He may as well have lived from their own breaking backs and blistered fingers. Her gaze switched to the window once she realized that they were on their way back to the manor. How would she face Brandon again? Mayhap she should simply ask him how it felt to kiss a common slave. Laughing harshly, tears streaming down her face, she wondered how she could look in the mirror again. She’d betrayed her people; and her heart had betrayed her.