18. Realization

Josh caught Tyler at his locker, scrambling to get his things in his bag before the busses left. "Hey," he approached him. "Do ya wanna come over?"

Tyler looked over and a smile overtook his face. It made Josh's heart melt as much as he didn't want to admit it. "Do you want me to?"

Josh laughed. "Why else would I ask ya?"

Tyler laughed as well and shut his locker. "Yeah, I do."

"Good," Josh was the one to smile now. The two left school and made their way towards Josh's truck. Once they got in and Josh was backed out of the parking lot, he took Tyler's hand. He saw Tyler blush and smirked. "Ya know you're cute when ya blush."

Tyler only blushed deeper. "Thanks," he replied quietly.

The two remained quiet until Josh pulled into his driveway. Once they entered the house, however, Josh was surprised to see his mom sitting on the couch, watching something on their old shitty TV. "Uh, hi, Ma," Josh spoke, confusion evident in his voice.

She looked over. "Hi, Josh. Who's that?" She asked, taking a drag of the cigarette between her fingers.

He looked over at Tyler and saw him looking at the items, figuring he hadn't smoked since they last hung out. Tyler realized Josh was looking at him and he looked down at the ground, stepping behind Josh ever so slightly. "Tyler," he replied, looking back over at his mom.

"Hi, Tyler."

"Hi," he spoke quietly, nervousness radiating off of him.

"They found the girl's body," Laura informed.

That was part of the plan. They had disposed of his father's so no one would ever be able to find it. He didn't even think the police would be able to identify it if they miraculously did find it. "What about his?" He asked, faking concern.

"Nope," she inhaled the nicotine once more. "Jordan's upstairs."

"Cool," Josh grabbed Tyler's hand and took them upstairs. He opened the door and saw Jordan sitting on his bed, doing homework. "Out."

"But—"

"I said get out," he repeated. Jordan sighed and grabbed his things before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

"He could have stayed—" Tyler began but Josh cut him off by pressing him to the closed door and connecting their lips. Tyler kissed back and Josh laid a few kisses on his jaw before disconnecting. "You're gonna kill me," Tyler laughed out, panting slightly.

Josh had to refrain from laughing. He was far too deep with Tyler to do anything now but he also considered it at one point.

"C'mere," he sat against the pillow and pulled Tyler on top of him so he was sitting on his lap. He pressed a kiss to his forehead causing Tyler to giggle.

"My dad was home when you dropped me off last night," Tyler informed, smiling slightly. "He seems happy for me."

"Good," Josh found himself smiling as well. "Tell me about your dad."

"Well," Tyler took a deep breath. "He's not really home a lot. He works his ass off and takes a lot of night shifts. He's always taken Sundays off for church though. I love him a lot even though he's not always around. I know he's just doing what's best for us."

"What about your mom?"

Tyler laughed nervously. "I haven't spoken to her in years," he informed. "My parents got divorced when I was seven because my dad wanted to leave Alabama and my mom wanted to stay and it just caused too much of an issue. My dad's been my whole world since I can remember so I said I wanted to leave with him and my mom got pissed at me for it. She used to call on my birthday and holidays but she just stopped like five years ago and I never made the effort," he shrugged, looking down at the ground.

Josh frowned. "Fuck her."

Tyler smiled the tiniest bit. "Nah I don't have any hard feelings," he assured. "I don't talk to my siblings either and they don't talk to me. I kinda just left that part of my life behind."

"How many siblings do ya have?"

"Three. Zack is..." he paused for a moment, thinking. "13 I think. Maddy's..." pause. "10? And I have no idea how old Jay is," he admitted.

"Well they're missin' out," Josh spoke honestly. "You're a great kid."

"Thanks," Tyler replied.

Josh grabbed the cigarettes once more and lit one, not even taking a drag of it and handing it to Tyler, remembering how badly he seemed to want one earlier. He accepted it and took a drag, blowing smoke off to the right. "Why'd you offer me one?"

"Ya looked like ya wanted one," Josh admitted.

Tyler froze, the cigarette dangling between his fingers. "I did?"

"Yeah," Josh nodded. "Ya did yesterday too."

Tyler looked freaked out. "I think that's why I haven't been feeling good lately," he handed the cigarette back to Josh. "My headache went away when I started smoking and I just felt better. It felt good to smoke," he said in a panicky voice.

"Ty, it's okay," Josh assured.

"No it's not. I'm getting addicted if I'm not already. I didn't think... oh God I'm so stupid," Tyler crawled off of his lap and Josh ignored the way it made his heart hurt. He set the lighted cigarette on the side of the ashtray on his nightstand.

"Tyler," Josh grabbed his hands the 15 year old looked up at him with fearful eyes. "Did it make ya feel good?"

Tyler was silent for a moment. "Yeah..." he admitted quietly.

"Then why the hell would ya pass that up? If it makes ya feel good, enjoy it."

"But it's bad for you," Tyler argued in an unconvinced voice.

"So? Lots of things are bad for ya," Josh replied, grabbing the cigarette again. He handed it to Tyler and the brunette hesitantly grabbed it from him. "If smokin' makes ya happy then smoke."

Tyler sucked on the nicotine and his eyes fluttered shut in relaxation. Josh grinned. He blew out the smoke and when he opened his eyes he looked content. "This feels wrong."

"Lots of things are wrong," Josh repeated. "If smokin' is the worst thing ya do I think you're fine."

Tyler smiled. "I'm trusting you."

"Good," Josh smiled.

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