The First Time
Betrayal is the only truth that stays -Arthur Miller
SCARLET'S P.O.V:
My mouth was enjoying the taste of sour cream flavor of chips and my eyes were peering at my laptop, I had a slight frown on my eyebrows and it became so prominent when Damon Salvatore and Bonnie Bennett vanished in the bright light. Oh shit! No way in hell! My heart felt heavy, how could they kill off Damon, my baby Damon, How? The season ended, I closed my laptop and wanted to bury Julie Plec but somewhere deep down inside I knew that Damon would come back. Because, for me there was no TVD without Damon.
"Hey, are you busy?" I looked over to door and saw Irene standing in her night clothes.
"No-" I said, I tried to share my pain of losing Damon but I stopped myself, she wasn't my friend. I used to be close to Kate who used to get pissed whenever I used to start discussing Vampire Diaries.
"Can we...talk?" Irene asked, her icy gaze carried expectations and a mystery. I bit my lip, my mind wandered for clues. Why did she wanna talk to me?
"Um, sure." I responded, she came in and then her nose wrinkled and she shook her head smilingly seeing my messy room. Those empty canes, pizza boxes and chips wrappers were every where. A glance of 'Nevermind' was from me to her and then she rested herself beside me on my bed.
"So, how are you doing? I mean, tomorrow you're going to get married?" I asked Irene, her eyes immediately lost its glow. Her lips pursed, giving me a look of disappointment, maybe?
"I am doing great, yeah It is my marriage tomorrow." Irene hesitatingly responded, even though her response was nothing but a twisted version of my question. Her eyes wandered on me for a bit longer than usual.
"Well, I want to talk. I mean, not any kind of serious but just you know, I...I sort of...I mean-" Irene was blurting out words and I was just trying my best to put the pieces together. I shook my head, cutting her off.
"What happened? What do you mean?" I asked, confused. My eyes showed concern, she never stuttered in her entire life, her confidence level was always boosted so that moment when she was out of words, I didn't get a good feeling.
"When yesterday, Katerina asked that why did you like writing so you responded that it made you feel worthy. I just wanted to clear your misconception that we don't care about you. Or we don't understand your worth, because we do. Mother and I, we all do." From where did that come from and why? I grunted, I rolled my eyes at her, why all of sudden I was becoming so important part of that family, even though all those years I was treated like I was a curse or burden on entire Anderson family.
"Irene, you're getting married, you're leaving this house that is why you're trying to make me feel good, right? Or is there something else? Because I am not used to of you or mum becoming a bit caring or giving me importance. I am happy the way I am or I can say that I try to be happy. You know, I don't hate you, I respect you so I am saying this to you kindly that please don't discuss this with me. You know you're lying-"
Irene tried to cut me off, tried her best to make me feel like I'd been worshipped by that family even though I wasn't. "Scarlet, we are not good at expressing our love-"
I interrupted her, my heart sank, there was nothing inside me, I felt alone even though she was constantly trying to make me feel good. I was empty, I never showed but I was. The pain of being not loved and left out consumed me and it hurt me so bad, and it hurt me till I was numb to that haunting feeling. But it still used to hurt me whenever someone used to remind me about those emptiness of my life or I used to do it by myself.
"Please, don't lie to me. I don't know why but from past two three days, you and mum have been acting strange. Like, pushing me to attend a family dinner, giving me a bit too much importance in front of them. Don't do this, you can't heal the wounds that are caused by years in just days. I am happy being an invisible soul in front of your happy family"
I didn't feel like talking to her more and remind myself each and every painful memory. I said, "Bye, Irene. I don't wanna talk more please," She nodded, her eyes carried so much disappointment but I didn't know if it was from me or from herself. She raised herself from bed and then walked towards the door, "Good luck for your marriage, Irene. I wish the best for you."
A small and weak smile appeared on her lips, her eyes shot a sympathetic glance at me leaving me with gazillion of questions that why did she? "Thanks, come for dinner downstairs."
She was about to leave but I spoke up, stopping her steps that were moving away from me, it felt like a piece of heart was separated from me. "Um, Irene. Since when I've been invited to have dinner with my dad, step-mum and sister? Never did before so why now? Ariel will bring my dinner to my room...like always." There when she had to shot the sympathetic glance to me, her eyes brightened with some hopes shining in them. I was again boggled that if it was for me or for her.
"Oh, have a dinner and then sleep well, don't destroy your sleep at least today, tomorrow you have to look fresh." She went after saying that. Why did I have to look fresh? It was her marriage and surely no one was gonna offer their attention to me?
I knew that she knew I used to stay up all night and admire my bae; internet. But I wasn't gonna listen to her, I waited for Ariel and then after some time she came with my food.
I happily had my dinner, alone. The curry was my favourite. I satisfied my tastebuds then a naughty grin made its way to my lips, I closed the lamps and opened my laptop.
>
Sun rays peeked through the windows, making me groan in my sleep. I was finding the pillow, when I found it, I stuffed my face under that. Before I could fall into deep slumber again, my mother's voice boomed in my ears, making me wince in displeasure.
"Scarlet, wake up!"
"Scarlet, wake up!"
"Gosh, mum. Don't scream." I groaned and sat up on the bed, she wrinkled her nose seeing me.
"Like what you see?" A smirk crawled on my lips, making her roll her eyes at me.
"Shut up, go freshen up and come downstairs. And offer a glance to your watch too, Scarlet. You're hell late." I grunted, she gritted her teeth but then left without insulting me. I lazily grabbed the watch resting on the side table, my eyes widened as I saw it was almost 12pm already. Marriage was suppose to be at 3pm, I headed to bathroom with my messy hair presenting a look of tangled threads. My eyes were puffy, the mascara was melted. I did my thing, and bathed peacefully. After pouring the warm water more than a lot, I walked out of the bathroom, with only a towel draped around me.
I looked on the watch, it was 12:30 pm, I hurried and dried my hair. I put on the dress that I bought with Kate for Irene's marriage. I put on the cream colored, full sleeved, plain backless dress. I admired the fishtail and those pearls and emerald colored stones filled sleeves, wore the flowery designed earings. I applied foundation and then I did some smokey eye makeup and curled my little eyelashes.
I rolled my brunette hair and twisted the front layer and then clamped them at back, but I let some loose curls pop out. In front of the mirror, I batted as if I was a high school's fashionista. After applying pale pink lipstick, I slipped my feet into my heels.
I looked great in my eyes, I went out of my room. I saw that every one was so busy, I caught my mum instructing the driver . After she ordered him, she titled her head backwards and I could see the admiration for me in her eyes, for the first time in all those years. But she shrugged it immediately by rolling her eyes slightly. A part of me was disappointed at her reaction, I realized that moment that how much I expected from her, how much I wanted her to love me and see me with admiration.
She mumbled, "Finally, you're ready."
"Yeah, I am. Is Irene-" Before I could complete my mother interrupted me, making me stand stiff and stunned on my spot.
"Your dad called you, go and talk to him. He is in his room." The shock of life, I couldn't imagine him wanting any interaction with me. I, with my eyes filled with hopes, excitement, sparks of love went towards his room. The room in which I only used to wish that I had gone, but that moment my happiness was its peak because my dream was coming true. My dad was about to talk to me and not ignore me. I couldn't imagine that any moment could have been better than that moment.
With my dancing heart, I entered in his room and in emotions I didn't even knock, my dad was sitting on his king sized bed and looking through some papers. I cleared my throat and gulped, "Dad!?" My desire of talking to my dad was finally about to fulfill.
His strong gaze captured me, my legs shook in fear again. But he was dad, and he wanted to talk to me. I relaxed myself by thinking that. I constantly chewed my lip, my fingers were entwined and I held my hands so tightly, I wanted to scream out the happiness I had filled in my heart that moment, I had never been so happy before. It was the first time.
"Dad, you wanna talk to me?" It felt good, so good to say more than 'sorry' or 'Yes' or 'no' to my dad. A small and curt nod was offered to me. And even though, it was so stern and ignorant one, I felt my heart fluttering. I moved a bit closer to his bed, where step-mum never slept in those twenty years something, after my dad cheated on her with my birth mother.
Her distance from my father let the hatred for me grew in his heart, he blamed me when my step mum basically broke all ties with him, when they started to act like divorced in real life and show the happy faces in public, he always blamed me for everything. But I didn't hate my step mum or my dad, I never did. She was not at fault. But he was. Maybe?
"I want a favor from you." His tone didn't really felt soothing in my ears, it was still so curt, ignorant. I wished those words could be filled with some love. I nodded.
"Sure, what?" I smiled widely, thinking that in those years, first time my father was not ignoring me and asking me for something. His eyes rested on me, first time more than two seconds. He scanned my eyes, as if he was trying to read me. I usually not used to be readable, but in front of him, my emotions were steer clear.
He could see how much beaming and cheerful I was, he could see my enlightened soul through my eyes, he could see how his one call was filling the emptiness that had been in me since years, he could see my expectations getting higher and higher by passing moments and he could also feel my anticipation.
"As you know, Irene is marrying Caleb due to John's demand, so he would help me financially to expand my business. But, Irene is saddened that she is being forced to have a relation with someone for only six months and due to contract," He stopped for a while, his eyes wandered on the paper he was holding. I felt like he was asking for my suggestion on that issue, but why would he consider me to suggest anything? Questions and suspicions built up in my mind, making me thrill in horror of the situation even more.
"Irene says that she'll runaway if we try to get her married to Caleb. She doesn't want to get committed in any relationship right now even though she likes Caleb a lot, but I want to expand my business. I can't bear the loss of Irene, Emma is already so distant to me due to my mistake." I felt like someone stabbed me in my heart so bad, it hurt like hell when he referred me and my birth mother as a mistake.
"I want you to take Irene's place." As soon as his words exited his mouth, the bubble filled with my delighted and radiant emotions and high expectations just got crushed under his demand. His selfish demand!
The tears buried since years flowed down to my cheeks with out any shame of exposing my broken soul to him. He had always been the reason of my empty, lost, unloved soul. "What if I say that I would run away if you force me to fulfill this demand?" I wasn't expecting any concerned response and I was right no to.
"You won't, and you shouldn't dare. I gave you place to live under this roof, to enjoy life, to live with every luxary so you can't disobey me. Without me, you would have been homeless and poor, you would have been sleeping on streets, Scarlet. You can't disobey me!" His tone arose, he yelled at me.
"You gave me place? You let me enjoy life? really? this fucking life? Do you even know how many times, you have made me go through endless pain? No! You don't know, because you only care about your daughter, Irene. Not me, you never did. And I was so foolish that I thought you'd start loving me now. Irene didn't want this marriage because she wants to live her life so you are forcing me and threatning me and making me count the benefits you've given me in this fucking hell. Why don't you ask Irene to not disobey you, why don't you force her? Why?" I asked, my voice first time was rising in front of him. He was using me.
"Because, there is nothing more important than Irene's happiness in my life. She is the only thing I admire the most, Emma hates me because I fucked your desperate mother just for fun. And your birth added fuel to the fire, in spite of that I let you live in this family, where you don't belong."
He responded, breaking my heart into more smaller pieces. I couldn't hear his words, I broke down on the floor. How could he just blame and call my mother desperate, he cheated on her wife and he slept with my mother too. So why was he blaming her and me for ruining his relationship with his wife? I was yelling in my mind, I wished that I was swallowed by any kind of darkness from where it was possible to come back.
The world was cruel to me. What did I do to deserve this?
He knelt down, and threw a paper on me and my tears fell on it. "This is contract where John wanted me to get his son married to Irene or you for six months, and in return he promised me to give financial help. Read it and get married to him." I tore that contract apart, I looked in his eyes, where every thing was so selfish, dark and filled with hatred.
"No, I am not going to marry him." I snapped. He slapped me across the face so hard.
He grasped my arm tightly and from the other hand he grasped my hair, his eyes consumed me and the shivers of fears and hurt were crawling on my body. He pulled me up from the ground, "I am telling you, Scarlet. If you don't obey me, I'll give you the worst time of your life. And you know, what I promise, I always keep it." His grip tightened making me mourn in pain. My face was covered with tears, the mascara was smeared and the glow was lost. The fingerprints were printed on my cheek.
He didn't leave me and continued to twist my arm tightly and roughly until I gave up and said, "O-okay." He left me and I ran out of his room with tears pouring down to my face. I stopped in the middle of corridor, I didn't know what to do. I broke down there, my hands covered my face and I cried while shaking my head. I regretted that I was born.
"Scarlet?" A thin voice howled in my ears, making me title my head towards it, I saw Irene's blue eyes having tears and they were scanning me. She knelt down, I crawled backwards and refused to look at her, she moved closer and sat on the middle of corridor with me, her voice again rang in my ears, I hated it. "Scarlet, look at me."
"What? Are you happy that dad didn't force you to bound in this relationship of six months, are you happy that I am being forced and slapped for protesting? Is mum happy that I am paying for what my birth mother did? Is mum happy that the daughter of the woman with whom her husband cheated getting cheated in her life? Is the heaviness of her heart gone? Is she happy that like all these years, I am being cheated, hurt and manipulated again. Are you happy that I am being toyed?" I spat, my words did hurt her, I could see she was shuddering too.
She caressed my cheek that was slapped, "I am not happy, Scarlet. You know I have been trying to tell you about dad's this choice of choosing you in place of me for a long time but I couldn't break a promise I made with him. But It doesn't mean that I am happy seeing you like this. You're my sister, he might not accept you as his daughter but I accepted you as my sister. I can't see you like this, please stop crying. You every fallen tear blames me, it hurts. It is killing me."
"You're the one to be blamed, Irene. He loves you so much that he can't let you compromise in something you're not happy with. But he hates me so he likes, no! he loves seeing me living a miserable life." I snapped and shrugged her hand off me, I stood up, I headed to my room but Irene followed me.
"I am going to do your makeup, hair and all," she said, looking away from me. She couldn't meet my eyes. She was abased. She should have been. Every one should have been.
"I should have known when you and mum started to push me to attend family dinner with Caleb's family. I should have known the moment when you tried to pick up conversations with me several times. I should have known, I should have killed myself. I can't marry someone who I don't like, I can't. Not even for fucking six months." I broke every antique that was in my room, I pulled up the bedsheet and left it a mess on the floor.
She came to me, to calm me down but I pushed her away. A servant came with a huge see through box, in which I could see a white dress. A wedding dress. The haunting moment finally came when my father entered my room and said politely to Irene, "Do her makeup and hair, you have done beautician course. So, dear help her out. I don't want any beautician to come and see the mess she has done to herself and her room. I don't want this news to go in public. It is so fortunate that we didn't let the media know that you were Caleb's bride." he warmly smiled at Irene, he was joyful that he didn't let his precious daughter Irene get pulled in any compromising situation.
Irene turned away from him and grasped the box from servant's hand, she came towards me, I was looking every where except my dad's selfish personality. "Go wash your face and stripped out this gown. This is yours now," she said, while handing me over the box containg wedding dress.
I glanced at my father's eyes, which turned cold when it fell on me, they threatened me again. He mumbled before he went out, "Don't do anything stupid, Scarlet. Do as I say."
I got dressed in that Ivory colored wedding dress, the sweetheart neckline sleeveless and the embroided bodice, the rhinestones and beads' delicate band encircled around the waist adding some sparkle to the gown, the A line tulle from my waist made me look like the perfect bride, it was just the way I imagined my dress but it all mattered nothing but shit. I let those heavily designed diamond earrings enlighten my look even though I hated it more than any other thing. I hated that forced marriage.
I sat on the seat in front of mirror, my talented and precious sister, Irene did my make up. She applied a good amount of foundation, and she did apply some pale pink blush as well to hide and cover that slap mark. She did my eye makeup by choosing a smokey with gold's touch for them then she applied a winged liner, to made that stupid, useless makeup stand out. She ended after putting mascarra and nude, dull pink lipstick. It all looked so amazing, all perfect the way I imagined for myself on my wedding day but it had no feelings. My dreams and hopes of finding the love of my life were just crushed on that moment.
She tied my hair in a hair bun after curling my hair, and like I did, she also let some curls pop out. She handed me a bouquet of beautiful flowers, her eyes didn't dare to meet mine and I didn't insist. I hated everyone that time, the cruel world, the cruel life made me so cruel that I couldn't see the tears she also had in her eyes.
My tears were soaked, I slipped my feet in my heels and walked out of the room and went downstairs all alone. I could hear Irene calling for me, but I didn't listen, I walked passed by my mum and didn't even stop to see her face, her reaction. I could judge what would it be so I didn't bother. I straightly went outside the mansion where our driver Angelo was standing beside a black shiny car, he warmly smiled at me not knowing my pain and opened the door of car and gestured me to hop inside. I, with my shaky legs, pounding heart and dead soul went inside the car.
After few minutes, Irene with my parents came too and they sat in the car, we drove off to the venue. I had my head rested on the back with my eyes closed, I wanted to scream out my pain but I knew that it would all go unheard. I wanted to cry more and more to ease my suffering but I knew that it would all go unseen.
The whole ride was haunting and restless for me. How would Caleb react? A question from nowhere arose in my mind, making me quiver even more. The picture of Caleb and Irene having an unbearable distance appeared in my mind making me question to myself that if he knew about me being a replacement or not?
The fear of getting hurt by him ran through my body but I tried so hard to plan for the worst future. For the worst six months.
My heart cried louder than ever because I was facing a reality where my dreams and hopes of better life, of better life partner were broken and crushed. And not by anyone but by my own father.
Reviews and Votes please, how are you feeling about this story?
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top