look at how fucking embarrassing I was in 2012 I'm crying.

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❤️I love you all❤️

❤️I don't deserve you as readers honestly❤️

❤️I'm just a nobody from a village in Michigan❤️

❤️don't take my "100 votes + seriously" I'm only joking babes. I update when I'm not busy or when I'm sad. Or when I'm happy.❤️

❤️warnings: sad because- well because I'm sad😕❤️

💔the fact that my heart is broken by the same guy I mentioned in Given In😭

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•the one with the morning after•
F•R•I•E•N•D•S

I watched this episode a few days ago and as always it made me tear up.

#rossislouis

#rachelisharry (bc you already knew that) it's just a loose reference tho okay.

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Zayn looked at Louis in shock who was busy trying to not look at anything at the moment.

"Did you really just." Zayn said dumbfounded.

"Shut up, and just fuck me harder." Louis muttered.

"No. What the fuck Louis." And Zayn pulled out making Louis cry out at the uncomfortable feeling.

"What? All chivalry now?" Louis said angrily.

"It's weird. You're obviously thinking about him." Zayn said and he shook his head. "I think you should go."

"Oh go fuck yourself." Louis muttered. He pulled on his clothes and stepped carefully into them. "You were quite shit by the way. From all you're talk, you'd think you'd be good at it." And then Louis left.

When he was down the street in the now drizzling rain he looked at his phone.

5 MISSED MESSAGES FROM HARRY❤️

3 MISSED CALLS FROM HARRY❤️

frantically Louis pulled out the messages.

Harry❤️: hey Lou. I think we need to talk. I'm sorry about the way I acted. I was really just pissed off in the heat of the moment. As soon as you left I regret having done what I did but I was too prideful to open the door once more. Text me or call me as soon as possible so we can talk things out.

Harry❤️: I know I really messed up okay? My choice of wording wasn't the greatest. I do hope you don't think we've broken up, I just know we need to work on some things. As I've said. There's something about you that pulls me in, and I rather have you by my side in one way even if it's not as a significant other. Forgive me for the harsh words I said. I know you only lied about why you were with my but not about who you were. You're still Lou. And I know that we can get past this I mean, Zayn is an asshole and he hated me from day one, so I get it. I'm just sad you let him manipulate you. But that's in the past and we can't change that. I just hope now you see that I wasn't in the wrong about him and that we can move past this like we should, and grow together.

Harry❤️: babe? I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry if I hurt your arm. I didn't mean to, you know that's not me. I was just so angry, but not at you, at Zayn. Okay maybe a little at you but I got over that. Darling?

Harry❤️: I don't want to break up over this. I love you😭. Can we start all over again?

Harry❤️: it's late now and you haven't messaged back. I hope you're okay. I'll stop by in the morning, we can skip or something. I do believe there isn't anything we can't get pass. I love you and that still hasn't changed and I don't think anything can change it. Goodnight.

Louis felt nauseas. He made his way home in the dark, not caring about the fact that his teeth were chattering from the rain, his mind was elsewhere.

He cared about the fact that he let Zayn fuck him under the pretenses that it was over between him and Harry. Under the pretenses that Harry wanted nothing to do with him.

He fuxked up. He fuxked up big time.

_

The first thing he did when he got home was take a hot shower. He glared at the marks that were left on his skin from Zayn's mouth. But, he had asked Zayn. There wasn't anyway around that.

What was he going to do?

_

He would tell Harry. But not today. Not right now that Harry is looking at him with wide green eyes that say all that needs to be said before Harry kisses him softly. Louis blushes and let's him in.

"Hi." Harry said shyly.

"Hi." Louis replied.

"Look, Lou." Harry started to say. Louis shushed him.

"It's okay. I get it. Why are you apologizing. I'm the one that should be on my knees begging for forgiveness." Louis pointed out.

"I forgive you. You forgive me. It'll be okay. God. I missed you." And Harry hugs him, he brings him close to his body so that Louis can feel his warmth and- Harry is so warm and soft.

"It's been a day Harry." Louis laughed.

"A day worth not remembering if it's not spent by your side my love." Harry kissed his forehead.

Louis blushed even harder. Then Harry was pressing a small bag to Louis' palms. Louis looked down and saw it was his favourite sweets.

A dozen chocolate kisses that were perfectly wrapped in red foil. To them was a little note. Louis gingerly took the bag in his hands, and he opened the note.

Sweet, just like you.

"You're too cheesy you know that?" But Louis unwrapped one and popped it into his mouth. He set the candies on the table in the living room.

"Only for you." And Harry was kissing him once more. It was early in the day. Too early actually. So why were they broken up by someone ringing the doorbell.

"It can't be my parents. They left for work." Louis mumbled as he went to open it.

He shouldn't have even bothered.

Zayn was on the other side, ray bans on his face to shield from the rare sun in the cloudless sky.

"Hey, Lou. Really quick question did you- oh." And Zayn stopped talking as Harry came into view.

"What the fxck?" Harry yelled. He grabbed Louis' hand and pulled him behind him. "What are you doing here?" He demanded.

Zayn quirked up an eyebrow. "I think Harold. The real question is, what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Lou. To work things out. What are you doing here you dumbass?" Harry snorted in disgust.

"Work things out?" Zayn questioned. His eyes flickered from Louis to Harry. "Even after what happened?"

"Yeah! You can't manipulate him forever Malik. So why don't you-"

"Wait. I didn't manipulate him, he came on to ME." Zayn commented coolly.

"What the fxck are you talking about? You're the one wanting to get back at me. You messed with his head. Well it's over. You didn't win. He's mine. Not yours." Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' waist. Louis looked once more on the verge of tears.

"Zayn, please go." Louis said softly. He looked at Zayn pleadingly. And that's when it hit Zayn. Harry didn't know.

"Oh. Right. Oh wait, I came to give something back to Louis. I took it from him last night." And Zayn reached into his back pocket. "Oh! Well shit! I don't think virginities can be given back? Well damn. Guess you're out of luck Harry."

"ZAYN no!" Louis screamed. Zayn smiled tightly.

Harry was frozen. "You're kidding. That's a sick joke Zayn."

"I'm not joking! Ask him." Zayn said. "If it makes you feel any better. I couldn't come inside of him because he yelled out YOUR name. So you were clearly on his mind. You know. Even though it was my cock filling up his tight ass." and then Harry's fist was connecting with Zayn's jawline. Harry pushed him towards the grass, his fists coming in contact with Zayn's stomach, face.

"Harry! Stop!" Louis yelled. But Harry didn't listen.

"Tell me he's joking." Harry pleaded as he slowly stood back up, blood was on his knuckles, as Zayn looked on the verge of being unconscious. But he shook his head as he slowly got up to his knees, and then finally to his feet.

"You almost killed him!" Louis yelled. He leaned down and tried to touch Zayn. But Zayn pulled back.

"Keep your slut." Zayn slurred out as he wiped at his bloody mouth and shakily stood up.

Louis frowned, he watched Zayn go.

"Louis. Tell me he's joking." Harry said again.

Louis looked back at him. "You screamed at me, and told me to leave. You said you didn't know who I was. I thought we were done. I thought we were over. I was hurt. Everything was hurting. And I made a mistake okay-"

"Oh my god." Harry fell back against the doorframe.

"Harry. Harry. Harry. It's okay. We were done-"

"No. We weren't. We had an argument. We weren't done." Harry said through his teeth.

"YES as far as I KNEW we were done. We were over. I was hurt."

"You're thinking you can get out of this on a technicality?" Harry yelled. "So let's say we were done, the first thing you do is sleep with him?" Harry shook his head. "No. I can't. I can't fuxking believe you Louis." And then Harry was crying. His shoulders were shaking as quiet sobs overtook him.

"Harry- Harry you said there's nothing we can't get pass. Baby, baby you said we can get through anything and- I know I messed up but I own up to it now-"

"NOW! I HAD TO HEAR IT FROM ZAYN! were you even going to tell me?" Harry demanded to know. Louis said nothing. "You weren't were you? You were going to begin this relationship with a lie? Really Louis. Really?"

"Harry please." Louis begged.

"No. No Louis. This isn't something I can just look past. You slept with him. You- you." And Harry pulled up Louis' shirt. Louis yanked it back down but it was enough for Harry to see the new bruises and marks that weren't made from him. "You let him do that. And I- I can't even look at you. I think I should go."

"Harry no-"

"And I think."

"Harry please don't."

"We are over. And I am done. This isn't something I can look past."

"Last night you said there isn't anything we can't get pass Harry please." Louis pulled on his hand, but Harry tried to pull back. "I can't. I can't be without you, I can't." And Louis tried to hug him, to feel his warmth once more. "I can't be without your arms around me, or your warmth. I can't be without seeing your smile Harry. Please don't. Or your heart, your kind and beautiful heart Harry please don't."

"No Lou. God. When I first saw you sitting in my spot all those months ago, I never saw you as the type to do this. To just hurt me. I don't know you Louis. I don't know who you are. You're not who I thought you were. You're nothing to what I once held you out to be and I'm sorry but- I can't. I look at you and I just see Zayn, Zayn all over you. I can't. Not right now at least. I'm sorry."

"Then I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes." Louis said softly.

Harry shook his head. Tears still cascading down his cheeks. "No. Lou. I really do think this is it."

"No. Its not." Louis exclaimed. Harry pulled away. "Harry don't."

"I gladly gave you my heart without a question Louis. And all you've given me is lies. You weren't even going to tell me about Zayn. It doesn't matter whether what happened during it, what matters is that it happened. You made it happen, it shows how much you cared about me. Not even one day later- the same night! I'm sorry. I- I can't I just. I can't." And Louis watched him go.

And whatever was left of Louis' heart disappeared, as he watched the one person he should have given it to, leave him.