heyy it's chels again, this has been really bothering me the last couple days and i just really don't want it to clutter up my actual journal and i have no one else to vent this too so i just need to write this here.

i'm so fucking mad at myself for fucking up so bad all of last year. my grades were at the worst they've been and don't even get me started on my attendance. and yeah i get it i was depressed but that's still not an excuse for acting like that

and sure enough i thought that accepting that lifestyle as a loser made me cool and shit and now look at me. even though i've worked on myself and made it out of a severe depressive episode i still have to bear the weight of my dumbass decisions from sophomore year.

this is so fucking stupid and it's all my fault. all i have to say is don't take pride in being a loser it isn't cool and you'll end up like me. now none of my teachers or administrators like OR trust me.