Group 1

Evan: AND I TOLD YALL NOT TO FUCK WITH ME DIDNT I

Soup: WTFFFFFFF

Cody: holy shit what did i just watch

Swagger: bro i am gonna fix that thing RIGHT AWAY you wont be hearing any more problems from me i PROMISE

Evan: I FUCKING TOLD YOU FUCKERS

Evan: THERE IS NO FIGHT ONCE I START IT

Soup: no seriously what the hell was that shit that just happened oh my god im SCARED????

Evan: thats what he fucking gets

—

Fuck Witcha

Kryoz: guys im so serious if youve ever wronged evan you HAVE to apologize like im so deadass rn like im TERRIFIED

Lui: ???

Kryoz: lui im not fucking around okay if youve wronged him or done something or looked at him weird you NEED to make it up to him and get off his shit list

Kryoz: you dont even want to KNOW the shit ive seen tonight

Jon: what the hell are you talking about

WildHoe: probably some nonsense like usual

Kryoz: guys you have to be sitting down when i explain this im so fucking scared right now

Kryoz: we all know evan has like MAJOR beef with his coworkers right.....

Kryoz: and like had a crazy fight with one of them right before this trip

Moo: just spit it out dude

Kryoz: okay so we're at like the induction dinner or whatever like the one to intro the conference and im sat at a table with evan, brian, swagger, and like three of their coworkers right. and we've had like our main courses but then theres like a bunch of smaller courses afterwards to like lead up to the dessert??? idk its weird okay

Kryoz: so the courses come out and i immediately clock that evan is barely eating like he is just staring DAGGERS across the tabke right at like this one coworker and istg evan has never looked more evil

Fitz: why do i feel like this is one of those times where you just overreact

Kryoz: im eating my food and evan FINALLY takes a bite and somehow i just KNOW its all gone to shit bc the guy he was glaring at starts coughing like BADDDDD bro like legit think i saw flecks of blood or some shit and like the guys in charge are trying to announce something right but everyone kinda just starts staring at this guy bc ofc we're towards the front of the room so like ofc

Kryoz: everyone is asking him is hes like okay and he keeps nodding but gets up to like go to the bathroom or something and just full on starts projectile vomiting like HEAVY and we are all just staring at him the guys get off the stage and someone is trying to find like medical staff or whatever and im just sitting at this table looking at everyone and evan is just like studying this guy like hes bored and waiting for him to be finished yk granted the rest of us included brian are HORRIFIED AND EVAN IS ROLLING HIS EYES LIKE ITS JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY

Kryoz: TEN MINUTES LATER the guy stops vomiting and hes like three shades paler than before and hes dry heaving but he looks up and makes eye contact with evan and just starts yelling at him like "you fucking did this didnt you you psycho" and all this other shit and hes being really loud and evan is just watching

Kryoz: next thing i know this guy grabs a fork and LUNGES OVER THE TABLE knocking like everything out of the way and this is when we all get up and evan FINALLY looks a little surprised and tries to move back but this guy is so fast holy shit so he tackles evan to the ground and starts trying to stab him with this fork and evan ofc wont let him but this guy like scratches at his face and truly is just attacking him and evan is like fighting back ofc like i think evan kneed him in the balls or something but anyways so evan is actually almost able to get away pretty quickly except this guy is crazy and pins evan down by his bad ankle so ofc he cant move and the guy STABS HIM IN THE LEG WITH A FORK and is about to pull the fork out to go again when BRIAN JUMPS IN AND STARTS ROCKING HIS SHIT BRO

Kryoz: mind you theres a huge crowd and like five people trying to  pull him away and brian just rocks up with an INSANEEEEE right hook to the jaw and gets a few swings in before they can properly restrain this guy and brian goes back to evan and like the medical people are treating him whatever hes fine its just a little stab wound

Kryoz: the guys that were on the stage who im pretty sure are like the bosses??? or like higher up in the company/in charge come up to evan (the crazy guy is still fighting like crazy btw so brian just makes sure evan is okay before turning around in case he needs to rock his shit again) and they start apologizing and saying that theyre sorry for their inability to acknowledge the threat evan had been worried about

Kryoz: at this point not only did it click for me but im pretty sure it clicked for crazy guy too but evan has literally been performing psychological warfare on this guy for MONTHS and complaining to HR and telling them that hes out to get Evan like actually and the evidence has just been piling up

Kryoz: THEN THIS GUY GETS FIRED RIGHT THEN AND THERE AS SECURITY COMES TO ESCORT HIM OUT

Kryoz: WITH A POLICE OFFICER

Kryoz: and this guy is staring at evan with his jaw hanging open like the insanity is def wearing off and so i look at evan and this MOTHERFUCKER IS SMILINGGGGG as they help him to his feet and like they have to go past evan to take the guy out of the ballroom or whatever its called and i very quietly hear evan whisper "i told you i'd ruin your life"

Kryoz: genuinely the coldest shit ive ever heard

Kryoz: btw evan is fine he got medical treatment and his ankle did not break or anything he just has like a more visible limp

WildHoe: oh my god

Lui: what the HELL

Moo: uhhh

Four07: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: that's terrifying what the hell

Four07: quickly thinking about everything ive ever done i need to lie down

Fitz: wtf did this guy DO to him

Moo: yeah i wanna know that too

Kryoz: idk and honestly im too scared to ask

Terroriser: he punched evan "on accident" a couple weeks ago but thats all i know

Fitz: BRIAN????

Moo: WTFFFFF

Four07: is this a true story pls confimr

Terroriser: yeah its real

Jon: woah

—

BESTIEZ

Kryoz: couldnt say this in the other chat but when brian started beating the shit out of that guy he said "touch him again and ill rip your fucking face off" and i just heard evan say "ive never been more attracted to anyone in my life"

Four07: okay so like im still scared but omg theyre so perfect for each other

Kryoz: truly freak4freak

Kryoz: if that was me we'd be having crazy good sex rn ngl

Four07: oh for sure

Terroriser: with a stab wound in the leg??? and his ankle??? you want my man dead thats what it is

Kryoz: okay so ur just ignoring the sex part of my statement and thinking of it practically

Terroriser: you know how evan feels about these things and honestly im a little scatterbrained rn to argue

Terroriser: its also weird how so much of your life revolves around sex

Terroriser: oh hey hi evan here look idk what fucking gc this is but john i told swagger to go back up to your room and youre going to go up there and you guys are gonna hash it out for real this tome okay

Terroriser: ik last time went terrible but this time you're actually just gonna talk and get it all out bc im sick of this shit and swags said hed write you a letter but thats pussy shit so go fucking talk to him or istg

Four07: hot

Kryoz: DUDE

Four07: like you weren't thinking that too? yeah okay

Terroriser: yes we're all aware of how attracted you are to my boyfriend

Kryoz: tell him im going up to my room rn btw i dont want to be murdered

Kryoz: brian? brian im so scared rn

Four07: you got this dude!!

Kryoz: make hot chocolate from my ashes and make everyone sip from it like we're at church

—

HelpMate

Swagger: COWORKER IS A PSYCHO CONFIRMED

Swagger: JUST WATCHED HIM RUIN A MANS LIFE FOR FUN

Jay: its always something with you

Zuckles: bro im telling you we gotta start charging him

Swagger: no guys im actually like really serious this time i just saw him make a man projectile vomit for ten minutes then said man became so crazed he leaped over a table at Coworker with a fork, the two wrestled on the ground which ended up with crazed man getting kneed in the nuts, coworkers ankle getting more fucked than it was and also he was stabbed with a fork, then i watched coworker's boyfriend BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THE CRAZED MAN until they broke them up and THEN THE CRAZED MAN GOT FIRED BC COWORKER HAS BEEN TELLING HR FOR MONTHS THAT HE THINKS BLARG WAS OUT TO GET HIM AND HE DOESNT FEEL SAFE BUT DIDNT WANT TO MAKE A SCENE BEFORE THE CONFERENCE

Swagger: and coworker had the coldest grin as he watched them take the crazed man away

Swagger: literally he whispered to him "i told you id ruin your life" like WTFFFFFFFF

iMat: holy fuck?

Tobi: wait okay im starting to get why youre scared of him

Jay: yeah you have to quit wtf kind of job is this

Swagger: idk i cant think about that rn bc coworker told me to come up to my room and hes gonna send john in and we have to talk it out

Tobi: all that shit yesterday and today youre just gonna talk

Swagger: my life FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES when i saw blarg jump that table im so serious

Zuckles: mate youre either gonna kys tonight or have the best sex ever good luck mate

Swagger: im so fucking scared rn what if i panic and just make out with him

Tobi: that certainly sends a message!

Swagger: FUCK I HEAR JOHN IN THE HALLWAY HES ON THE PHONE GUYS IM SO SCARED

Zuckles: you guys wanna get high again?

iMat: oh hell yeah dude

Swagger: HELLO??

-

LOCATION: Hotel Room

TIME: 9:43 P.M.

Swagger resigned himself to sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to pretend that he couldn't hear John through the door, finishing his phone call.

"I don't know, okay? Scott, I really don't know what I'm gonna do but whatever is gonna happen might as well happen right now. Are you kidding? I can't...Yeah, sure. I'll talk to you later. Whatever. Bye."

The door opened, and Swagger jumped to his feet, terror washing over him as he came face to face with John. "Hi." His voice was at least three octaves higher than usual, and he probably looked nervous and disheveled. Swagger began to recite everything he had wanted to say in his head, praying he hadn't forgotten anything.

"Hey."

He took a step forward, thinking it was best to just jump right in until John beat him to it. "Look, I'm not gonna abandon you on this trip, okay? Even if I'm currently terrified of Evan and whatever he's capable of. I made a promise, and it's the least I could do after what I did to you." He paused. "I know we didn't end things in the greatest place, and I'm sorry. I've been dealing with my own realizations and feelings, and when you said that you and Cam were actually trying to make things work, it felt really close to home. That wasn't fair to you. I know you had more to say. And whatever it is, I'll listen and I'll deal with it like an adult. I promise."

"Maybe we should sit." Swagger was trying not to freak out over the way John had sounded like he was already accepting that this whole thing was over before anything had even started. They sat on one of the beds, letting the quiet take over for a few moments while Swagger collected himself. "I'm sorry, too. I had more to say, but I froze up yesterday and it came out all wrong. But it's true, Cam and I didn't break up." He makes eye contact with John and hopes the other man can tell this isn't a repeat of the day before. "I mentioned yesterday how we found a common ground, and that's true, too. Do you know what that common ground was?"

John gave a slight shake of his head, his eyes growing glassy.

Swagger cursed himself. He'd have to get this over with a little quicker. The words were coming out wrong again. "You." He said, forcing out the word after it felt lodged in his throat. "Our common ground was you, and how much we both like you." He stood up and started pacing. He had to move, his whole body felt like it was on the verge of shutting down. Swagger looked at John again, and found the other man had never looked away. Not even for a second. "I called Cam to break up with him because I wanted to ask you out, and he wouldn't let me because you guys already planned something. It was a really long, agonizing conversation, but we needed to have it."

"What are you trying to say?" John's voice broke halfway through the sentence, but his face showed he was trying to remain strong.

Swagger sat back down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder as an attempt to comfort him. "I don't know if there's an easy way to say this, but, we want you. Cam and I, if you're willing, want to take you out to dinner, on a date. Together. All of us. Like a-"

John cut him off by kissing him, pulling their bodies close together as they both fell into laying positions on the bed. They parted, just for a second, breathless. "Two boyfriends? Fuck, yes." And then they went right back to kissing.