It ate Yoongi up.

Everything ate Yoongi up.

It was the kind of feeling, the terror, when you have a crush on your dearly best friend and you stumble between revealing it and keeping it a secret. It's a blind hit. Either you have everything or lose everything. And then finally...you lose everything. It was just like that, except it wasn't a stupid childhood crush. It was much more intense, delicate.

Yoongi felt like an outcast in his own house. Jimin and he weren't awkward, they were distant. He hated it. Hated the fact that Jimin would giggle around everybody but Yoongi. Hated how his laughing mouth abruptly shut up each time they made eye contact. Each time Yoongi was close to Jimin, it felt like Jimin wanted nothing more than just to stay away from him. Like some repulsive cockroach.

It hurt, alright. It was immature but it hurt to see that Jimin out of all the people was looking at Yoongi like that. Jimin had been always the one to look at the positive sides of people. Even more, bring out the positive sides of people. And that's why Yoongi felt odd to be in the bad list of Jimin.

The boy...the man, had always endeared him. He was fond of him since the beginning. So much that his emotions were in his throat each time he thought about the lad. The urge of protection, the urge to cuddle him so close no one could pick a hair, the urge to kiss those plump juicy lips. It was overwhelming, and Yoongi had them so much.

They were always at the brim around Jimin and Jimin lately, was doing everything that could make them burst out of the rapper.

He was avoiding Yoongi so much. They haven't spoken a word. And Jimin looked fine with everyone else. Perhaps he was jealous but it was too much. He felt like a not-needed friend. He felt lonely.

Moreover desperate for Jimin's attention.

He didn't know for how long Jimin was going to keep silent like this. He couldn't break up things like this. Anyone but Jimin. He did not even give them a chance to talk it out.

But Yoongi kept it low. Like he always did. Moreover, he didn't wanna ruin Taehyung's birthday by his tantrum. He was surprised no one had observed that something had happened between the two of them. Perhaps they didn't notice the sex bit, but Jimin's constant avoiding couldn't go unnoticed. Or maybe they just hadn't asked it in fear.

Apart from his current fucked up life, they were on a break from their company. Taehyung said he'd do a live at midnight for his birthday - which was in two days - because he wanted to spend some time with all of them. He was planning to go out somewhere, somewhere warm, with food of course, but surrounded by nature. In short, Taehyung was talking about a new restaurant settled between a forest, giving out such an ethnic vibe.

*

The next two days were as miserable for Yoongi as the previous three. He didn't talk to anyone on the dining table, because Jimin talked to everyone. He didn't understand what to do. He'd look at Jimin in hopes that he'd start a conversation with him as well but there was nothing.

But he hoped for something on Taehyung's birthday. Perhaps Jimin's best friend's party would cheer him up and he'd at least act treat Yoongi like a human.

Why hadn't he made the first move to talk? Because Jimin had made it very clear he needed space. And he didn't wanna make Jimin uncomfortable.

They reached Taehyung's choice of restaurant and yes, it was pretty nice. The table they sat at was covered with trees and a lantern hung from the branch. They had discussed they'd order Chinese in the car itself.

Everyone was cheerful and Yoongi, though he didn't wanna ruin anything by his grumpy mood, lacked behind. Being the last one to join the table. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was that the only place left was beside Jimin.

Yoongi looked at Jimin and as always, Jimin had this shocked and nervous look written across his face. It made Yoongi's gut churn. But nonetheless, he had made his way towards the chair, observing how Jimin stiffened and shifted a bit towards Hoseok.

At that moment, Yoongi suppressed back a whimper and looked down guiltily. He just wanted to go back into time and stop it from happening. It was a mistake, Yoongi decided. A terrible mistake.

He didn't feel like eating anymore. It all felt bitter.

*

After the dinner, everyone had decided to go dance at the disco designed between the woods. Wow, the restaurant really was something.

"Yoongi Hyung don't bore me at my birthday!" Taehyung whined, back hugging Yoongi and swaying with him with a content smile.

Yoongi reassuringly patted the younger's arm. He didn't intend to, really. He wanted to enjoy as well but...

He watched as Jimin danced hyperactively. As if nothing had happened. And it warmed Yoongi's heart. He wanted to see him smile like that every moment. He wanted Jimin to be happy around him too.

As if reality wanted to hit Yoongi on his face, Jimin bumped into Yoongi and quickly retreated in shock. His words chocked in his throat as Yoongi gave him a hopeful look. But Jimin faltered, muttering a quick "sorry," before joining in Namjoon and Jungkook.

Yoongi's lips puckered down, he was ready to cry then and there. If it would have been anyone else, Jimin would've hugged them, danced and laughed with them. Then why not him? Why he, out of all, made Jimin's smile go away?

He suddenly felt out-looked and ignored by the whole world while it was just by Jimin. He needed attention, he needed Jimin's attention. He'd been craving for it since days. He took pleasure in it, took pleasure in the small flame that would kindle in his belly each time Jimin looked at him.

And with that, Yoongi was striding towards Jimin and yanked his wrist in one swift motion. Jimin's eyes bulged out and everyone stopped dancing, their eyes on the both of them.

Jimin gulped at his Hyung's expressions. He knew he couldn't avoid anymore. He had to face it. But he didn't want to.