Olivepaw quivered in anticipation as Wolfclaw beckoned her forward with his tail. It was the half-moon meeting, and she was going to get her full medicine cat name. However, she still kept training with Badgerpaw and Snowpaw, now Badgerfang and Snowflower, making the yearning in her heart grow bigger and bigger.

She still trained as a medicine cat, though, because that was her only option. I don't have anything else, she reminded herself fiercely as she padded up to stand by her mentor's side. It doesn't matter if I'm unhappy, because this is the only way I can be useful and loyal to ShadowClan!

"Fellow medicine cats," Wolfclaw began, "Olivepaw is ready to become a full medicine cat. She has trained for moons, and I have finally decided that she is ready."

He took a deep breath, then meowed, "I, Wolfclaw, medicine cat of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your help she will serve her Clan for many moons. Olivepaw, do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?"

Olivepaw swallowed, then answered in a shaky voice, "I do."

Wolfclaw gazed down at her with shining yellow eyes. He looked so happy and proud that Olivepaw almost scolded herself for how she felt so strongly about being a warrior.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your true name as a medicine cat. Olivepaw, from this moment on you shall be known as Oliveleaf. StarClan honors your persistence and your courage, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ShadowClan."

Oliveleaf felt warm and buzzing inside as the other medicine cats chanted, "Oliveleaf! Oliveleaf!"

"May your dreams be good ones," Wolfclaw finished before touching his nose to the Moonpool. She crouched down and did the same, the water's surface ice-cold even though it was greenleaf.

She closed her eyes, and let StarClan sweep her away into their hunting grounds. When her eyes fluttered open, she was in a misty area, the ground firm and tough beneath her paws.

"W-where am I?" she meowed, apprehension prickling up her spine. Her fur stood on end, and she unsheathed her claws as she paced in a circle. I don't recognize this as ShadowClan territory, Oliveleaf thought. Even if it is, I can't see anything!

"Oliveleaf, over here!" She whipped around to see a russet tom beckoning her with a flick of his tail.

"Who are you?" she hissed.

"Ah, so she does have a warrior's spirit," he murmured before adding in a louder voice, "I'm Rowanstar, the leader after Blackstar. I have some advice that might help you in the future."

"Really?" Oliveleaf meowed cautiously. "Where are we?" Wasn't StarClan sunny all the time?

"A place beyond StarClan's hunting grounds," he answered, and padded closer. "Look, Oliveleaf, you're in the wrong place! You need to be someone you're not."

Someone I'm not? What does that mean? Oliveleaf opened her jaws, but everything slowly faded away and was replaced by Wolfclaw, who was bending over her in concern.

"Are you okay?" he mewed, watching with wide eyes as she picked herself up. "You were muttering and thrashing in your sleep."

"Weird dream," she meowed abruptly, and started to climb the spiraling path, back towards her territory.

Morningpaw sprinted after her, making Oliveleaf's insides twist and her mouth to turn down. Please don't make her chatter like a starling the whole way back, she prayed to StarClan as Morningpaw drew in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" she repeated Wolfclaw. "You can tell me anything, you know, even if I am still an apprentice."

Morningpaw was a really slow learner, so she didn't get her full name yet. She didn't seem to mind, though, as she skipped around and ran that mouth of hers.

"Medicine cats aren't supposed to share dreams, and you know that," Oliveleaf reminded her, fighting to keep her voice kind. "Thanks, Morningpaw, but I want to think about it for a while."

"All right. Hey, Frostsnow, remember that pheasant Swiftpaw caught?" The gray apprentice miraculously scurried ahead to her mentor.

She blew out her breath in a huge sigh of relief. Everyone keeps telling me I'm in the wrong spot! she thought, her muscles tensing and her teeth gritting. What do they mean? Why can't they just tell me outright?

She trudged on, not speaking to anybody, and purred with satisfaction as she settled in her nest.

Dawn came way too early, and it seemed like moments before Wolfclaw prodded her awake. "Come on, Oliveleaf!" he teased. "I shouldn't have to keep doing that! StarClan, you were sleeping like a badger. Why so tired?"

Oliveleaf mumbled something even she couldn't make out, and stumbled out of her nest. Her mind was still on her ancestors' words, and she had to push the want to become a warrior out of her chest.

Wait... I know I want to become a warrior. I know I hate being a medicine cat. What if that's what they meant? She froze in her tracks, a fog in her mind lifting. If that's so... how can I become a warrior when ShadowClan hates me?

Right on cue, Sunblaze bounded up with her friend, Robinheart, and sneered, "I can't believe that old frog-brain made you a full medicine cat. Right, Robinheart?"

Robinheart shook out his ginger pelt and curled his lip at her. "Traitor," he muttered, before turning his back and stomping away.

Once they both left, fur brushed against her and a voice murmured, "Don't worry about them. You're doing fine."

Oliveleaf glanced up to see Swallowwing gazing solemnly at her. "Swallowwing, I have something I want to tell you," she blurted out. It felt... right, telling her mother that she wanted to be a warrior. Her mother had raised her kits to be wise and trustworthy cats, and she was such a good warrior, so she had to have some good advice.

Her amber eyes widened slightly, but she nodded and draped her tail across her daughter's shoulders. They walked out of the camp together, and was pelted with rain.

Oliveleaf stared up at the gray, cloudy sky. Nothing about the weather seemed different before now—was she so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed?

She spiked out her fur as her mother commented, "Hunting will be poor today. Hopefully those ThunderClan flea-pelts won't take advantage of this weather to raid us."

"But we'll always be ready," Oliveleaf assured her, flexing her claws. They stopped below a thick, gnarled pine tree, with a smattering of pine needles around it. "Swallowwing..." The medicine cat shuffled her paws, her senses super-heightened so that she was aware of every prickling nerve, every bone in her body and what they were doing.

"Yes?" the dark-gray she-cat prompted.

"I... I want to be a warrior." She dug her claws in the dirt, bracing herself for a scolding.

Swallowwing's deep purring made Oliveleaf look up. "You tell me this now, when you're already a full medicine cat?"

"Well... I can't be a warrior. I feel so faint when I see blood." Just yesterday, before they went to the Moonpool, Oliveleaf had to treat a scratch on Honeyfrost's side that was welling up with blood. She managed to rub some dock on it and apply some cobweb, but all the way she felt like she was going to collapse.

"You just have to follow your heart," Swallowwing advised gently. "You never pushed yourself so you could get rid of that fear. Now you're stuck with it, in a place you don't want to be."

"How come you never told me this before?" Oliveleaf wailed.

"You never told me." She shrugged her shoulders apologetically.

"Half of ShadowClan hates me, though," Oliveleaf reminded her. "How do I know they won't turn on me?"

With every word, she felt like she was growing lighter and lighter, the confessions pouring out of her. Each word was a weight, and letting them spill was so relieving.

"That's just against the warrior code. ShadowClan does have honor, you know." She laid her tail on her daughter's shoulders before standing. "Remember to follow your heart!" she urged before disappearing into the darkness.

Oliveleaf stared after her, all alone in the chilling rain. Eventually, she stood on her paws and dragged herself to Birchstar's den.

"Birchstar, I'd like to be made a warrior."

The light-brown cat jerked her head up in surprise. "Really? When did you make this decision?" She blinked and flicked her tail back and forth.

"It's been there all my life," Oliveleaf admitted. "But after the deathberry incident, I felt that ShadowClan no longer trusted me, and that I needed to gain their loyalty back by healing instead of fighting."

"Ah," Birchstar murmured. "I think they still don't trust you, Oliveleaf, I'm sorry. Wolfclaw is also growing very old, so I don't feel comfortable releasing you from your position."

Her words held a tense edge to them, but leaders had a lot of responsibility, and with greenleaf coming to a close, Oliveleaf didn't dwell on it. She dipped her head and backed out of the den. Birchstar did make sense, and the leader's word was law.

Are you really going to accept that? she couldn't help asking herself as she hurried to the medicine den. There's really only one thing to do now.

Yes... but she didn't want to admit it.