I'm in a ballroom surrounded by drop dead gorgeous models sporting wedding dresses, and for the first time ever, I don't feel frustrated. Normally I'd be silently seething at the fact that Kevin hadn't asked me to marry him, and wondering if others were asking themselves the same thing.

But tonight, I feel anything but frustrated. I feel proud. These models are picture perfect and every single one of them is sporting Crystal Clears latest makeup line. That I worked very closely on. This night was going even better because I hadn't run into Kevin and his side tramp all evening either.

For once I'm grateful of her existence, because it means she'll be all over him and keep him from being all over me. The way she had talked to Steven the other day had left me fuming and oddly uncomfortable. She acted as if he was supposed to be under her spell and that when he wasn't, she had something over him. He hadn't given any indication of stress, other than the tired look he had when he left the office that evening, though it could have been work issues. Still, there was something about their relationship that made me uneasy. And that conversation after our lunch meeting made the feeling take root.

My skin grows warm and I'm glad my skin isn't fair, otherwise I'd be red as a cherry. I still can't believe what he did to me. What I did to him. It feels so unreal and dreamy and scandalous.

I noticed I hadn't seen much of him since that day, and to be honest, it was probably for the best. I needed to process exactly what happened. And remind myself this was not a relationship, and not going to end up as one either. We were just having casual sex. Rough, deliciously naughty sex that made my sex throb just thinking about it.

"Stars, this is amazing."

I turn to see that Rose is standing beside me, clutching an ever-present cocktail in her hand, with a gleeful and wistful look on her gorgeous face. I'm envious of both of my sisters' good looks. I know for a fact I didn't get the "good looks gene" with my curly brown hair, average height and boringly slim body. Whereas Stevonnie has all of this wavy, chocolate-brown hair that she on occasion braids into a long silky braid. And then there's angel-faced Rose, who everyone thinks looks like she walked straight out of a Love Your Curves magazine.

I've always felt like I couldn't measure up.

"It's alright." I say taking a quick glance around for Steven.

It's nice having her here tonight. She's been talking to Father lately, trying to get back into his good graces. Stevonnie is out of town so he decided Rose could come in her place, IF she behaved. Which basically meant I was on babysitting duty for the night. No one had asked me to, but I knew what was expected of me.

"It's wonderful." She sips from her glass, her hazel eyes scanning the room. "All of these pretty girls in wedding dresses makes me want to settle down."

I almost choke on my cocktail. She can't be serious. "What-what do you mean?"

"I've just been thinking is all."

I blink in shock, never expecting my sister filled with wanderlust for adventure to want to 'settle down'. Did Father have something to do with this?

"You're kidding." I say increduously. Rose gives me a dangerous look and I quickly rephrase, not wanting her to be discouraged by my reaction or cause a scene. "No, I'm just proud of you. I never thought you'd want to get married or settle down."

"Well, not like you would've been if you'd married that asshole you were dating."

I gape at my older sister, wondering how she heard about it. We talked maybe a couple of weeks ago, right before Kevin and I split.

She shrugs when I don't say anything. "Stevonnie told me. So did Daddy."

God. She calls him Daddy, too. Why am I the only one who has a problem with that? With him? I haven't talked to him in a while. He never even called me to express his opinion over my breakup with Kevin. Which is so unlike him. He's usually meddling in my business, especially when it comes to Kevin. "I don't even know how he found out."

"Kevin came to him, of course." Rose rolls her eyes, then drains the rest of her glass, jiggling the ice that's left inside it. I continue to gape at her. I can't believe Kevin went to my father. But then again, I can. "He wanted Daddy to talk to you and convince you that staying with him was the best thing."

I let out a little snort that makes Rose laugh. "He actually told you that?"

"Stevonnie filled me in on that part." Rose patted my arm. "You did good, dumping that guy. I could see how miserable you were with him, everyone could. He was not good for you."

I absorb her words, wondering how much I really believe in them. Kevin Johnson looks fabulous on paper. Any woman would want him, including me at one point. I put up with a ton of his crap, including his chronic cheating. Oh, he hid it well at first and I was clueless. But with confidence comes arrogance and eventually the man became sloppy, leaving clues everywhere. I just turned a blind eye to it all.

Eventually, this made me feel like a doormat and I had no one to blame but myself. I was a pathetic, useless doormat of a woman and I hated it. Still don't quite understand how I dealt with him for so long.

But there are some things we just can't question, not while we're still too close to them.

"I need to focus on work," I tell Rose firmly. "And me." I think of Steven. How he'd brought me to orgasm so easily yesterday afternoon. My skin heats at the memories and I scan the room yet again, searching for him. I know he said he'd be here and I believe him, but I haven't spotted him yet.

"Yes, you do. But you need to have a little fun, too." Rose flashes one of those knock-you-out-and-leave-you-flat smiles that she has patented. Her cheeks are so full, and her eyes so bright on the surface. But I can see her lifestyle is beginning to wear on her. I hope to God she really means what she said earlier. I can feel my working 50+ hours a week lifestyle draining me too, and with the combined drama of Kevin and Steven, I'm starting to feel a bit more sluggish than I'd like.

"I know how to have fun," I say, my mind still filled with images of Steven. Talk about fun ...

"I mean real fun. Not sitting at home eating your favorite Indian takeout after a hard day's work and watching your saved-up Under The Knife shows on the DVR." It's as if she peeked inside my brain. "That's not fun. That's boring. And you, Con, are anything but boring."

Rose is the only human on this planet allowed to call me Con without my getting mad at her. God, I really hate that nickname. "I know how to indulge myself. If I like to eat my favorite takeout and watch Under The Knife shows, what's wrong with that?"

"Everything." Rose glances around as if she's looking for something. Or someone. Knowing her, it's probably both. "I'm going to grab another drink from the bar. You want one?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine," I murmur, vowing to not make a fool of myself again by drinking too much. I need to keep a level head. I'm already edgy enough, knowing that Steven is around here. Somewhere.

I remember his demand that I not wear any panties and I did just that. It feels strange, wearing nothing underneath my dress when usually the barest I go is a skimpy thong. And I only do that so I won't have visible panty lines, not because I want to please my man ...

The dress is a pale, pale yellow and the skirt is short, hitting me above the knee, and flares out. I'm not wearing a bra either, since the dress has a deep V in both the front and the back. I wore my hair up as well, so I'm feeling exposed. Or more like extremely naked.

And the tiniest bit hopeful. Will Steven like my dress? My hair? The fact that I followed his orders? No man has given me orders before. It felt odd, doing something at his command. Like I'm his little pet. Part of me is enraged by the thought, while the other half wants to explore that side of things more. It makes me feel owned... not that Steven Universe wants to own me.

"You look beautiful tonight."

For a split second, I start smiling like an idiot and turn to face the man, thinking it's Steven. Of course, no such luck and my smile turns into a nasty scowl.

Kevin takes a step toward me and pauses, most likely because he knows I'm this close to wrenching his balls off if he comes any closer. "I just wanted to say hello."

I tilt my chin up, wishing like crazy Rose were with me. It would be so much easier to face him with someone by my side. And knowing my sister, she'd probably tell him to kiss her ass. And then flip him off. "Well then. Hello." My voice is like ice, and hopefully he'll get the hint.

"I miss you, Connie." His voice is strained with emotion and he looks so earnest I almost want to believe it.

Not this time, though. Not ever again.

"Where's Lapis? I know she's eager to keep you company." I can't hide the snarl in my voice. I hate her. And she's inserting herself so completely into my life, it makes me suspicious.

He grimaces as if I've hurt his heart with my words and I'm so satisfied, I have to hold back another cruel, biting comment.

Let him hurt.

"She means nothing to me, Connie. You know this."

"Well that's news to me, Kevin. She seems to mean quite a bit to you since you've continued seeing her all this time." My heart cracks a little at my words. I'm over him. I need to be over him. It's going to take time, though. Losing myself in the rush of a passionate secret affair could help.

But maybe not enough. God, I don't know.

I'm so confused.

"The only woman I've ever loved is you." He says, beginning to get down on one knee.

Surprise! I hope you enjoyed! Cause who knows, maybe I wont update for another two months...

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