«Where was he when we attacked your ship and you were left behind by your own comrades?»

«Where was him when you were tied on that bed and I was free to do whatever I wanted to you?»

«Where is he now?»

«You should kill yourself.»

You covered your sticky face with your hands and slid on the floor, fighting the sobs back in your throat.

The words replayed over and over in your ears.

You wanted to scream so badly.

But it was night now, and the ship was quiet.

Part of you didn't care. Part of you wanted the pirates to hear and know what being held captive was doing to you.

Another part, though, knew they were not really responsible for how messed up your mind was.

Your hands drifted up in your hair, taking it away from your eyes.

No sound was coming from behind the door of the cabin.

What to do now?

You needed to rest, but you didn't want anyone to see you like that, let alone talk to you. You could have gone in the infirmary to have your stiches fixed, but you didn't want to be such a burden for the doctor.

«If someone hurts you, you come to me.»

«And I mean including Kid.»

You stared at the wooden floor, tormented, before taking a deep breath.

Unsteady on your legs, you leaned on the wall to get up and walk down the aisle.

There was only one possible cabin that could belong to the Massacre Soldier, and it was not far from Kid's, luckily.

Once in front of it, you knocked on the door.

Despite being deep in the night, you heard some quiet bustle inside, then he opened up.

Killer stood in front of you, dark tank top and denim trousers, as always.

It took just a glance for him to grasp the situation.

«Did you hurt him back?»

Eyes fixed on the floor, you slowly nodded.

He sighed and stepped aside, letting you in.

His cabin was only slightly smaller than the captain's. It was tidy, with training tools aligned against the wall. A small carpet was placed in the centre of the room.

Killer closed the door and sat on it, while you walked to the bed. Before sitting, though, you looked at him.

«You can sleep there, I was planning to train all night anyway.»

«Thanks.» you whispered, climbing up.

He lay down and started a series of push-ups.

You observed him for a while. His regular movements had a calming effect on your wounded mind.

You lay down too. The pillow smelled like him.

«Aren't you gonna ask me what happened?»

Killer didn't stop.

«No. Just sleep, [Y/n], you need it.»

You frowned and your eyes automatically lingered on the door.

«I promise you, no one will disturb you.»

Somehow, his words sounded true.

«I trust you, Massacre Soldier.» you whispered.

«Killer.»

«Killer.» you agreed.

Sleep must had caught you not too long before heavy knocks startled you.

Still bogged in dark dreams, with your back on fire, you hissed softly between the sheets.

«Killer! Open up! I know she's there.»

It was Kid's voice, and it was oozing with rage.

You buried your grimace in the pillow.

Killer got up and reached the door.

Instead of letting the captain in, though, he quickly slid outside.

«What the fuck are you doing? I'm getting in!»

«Kid, wait.»

Their voices were clearly audible from inside.

Your tense body curled up under the sheets.

«What?! Why the fuck did she came here anyway?»

«Because I told her to.»

«You what?»

Killer sighed.

«To avoid situations like these. She's messed up, Kid. If you get in there now, what do you hope to achieve?»

«I...!»

Kid stopped.

You could picture his twitching snarl in your head.

«I don't know what happened between you two,» Killer continued «but if you push her now, I'm afraid you'll definitely lose her.»

Your heart speeded up in your chest.

Kid didn't reply.

«Let her rest, okay?»

There was some soft mumbling you couldn't distinguish, then you heard the redhead's heavy strides get away.

Killer came back in and closed the door.

«I know you're awake.»

You stayed silent.

«Can I check your wound?»

«Why?»

«You're bleeding. And sweating.»

You grunted, but clumsily lifted and sat on the mattress.

When you started to remove your shirt, Killer cleared his voice.

«Keep your chest covered, please.»

«You saw me already.»

«Just do it.»

Too weak to protest, you gave your back to him, pulled off your shirt and unclasped your bra, but kept the fabric over your breasts.

He got closer to examine the long cut.

You shuddered when his cold fingers traced the sides of it.

«Two stiches look bad, you should have them fixed tomorrow. Didn't the doctor give you any unguent?»

«Oh, yes.»

You rummaged in your pocket, then you extracted the tube.

You were about to open it, but Killer took it from your hands.

He carefully applied it on the cut, and the fresh relief was immediate.

A sigh of pleasure left your chest.

«Better?»

«Totally.»

«Good. Now go back to sleep.»

You put your shirt on, without bothering with the bra, then lied down again.

The pain was almost gone now.

Killer resumed his training position.

«Killer.»

«Hm?»

You hesitated.

«Did Kid tell you to check my wound?»

«Yes.»

You pressed your lips together, and a hand travelled on your closed eyes.

«Killer, I... I said something bad.» the knot on your throat was getting tighter «But he... he pushed me so much.»

«I know.»

«And he found a weak spot, and he just– he just fucking feast on it.»

«I know.»

You grit your teeth.

«It's like... it's like I'm always naked when I'm in front of him.»

The Massacre Soldier observed your stiff body.

«You know what I would like, [Y/n]?»

«What?»

«I would like you to stop blaming yourself for all the things in the world.»

You peered at him from behind your palm, eyes sharp in suspect.

«I beg your pardon?»

He sighed, leaning against the wall.

«It's not your fault if you're captive, it's on us. It's not your fault if Kid sucks in dealing with his emotions and hurts you in the process. Whatever you feel for him, it's not your fault either.»

New tears stung the corners of your eyes, and suddenly it was impossible to swallow.

Do I believe him?

Am I... allowed to believe him?

But Killer was not done.

«It's not your fault if you don't fit in the Marines, but you fit in this crew.»

Your fingers grasped the pillow.

«It's not your fault if you had no other option when you were just a child. It's not because you were not enough that you were alone. It's not because you were not enough that you were abandoned.»

How could he know so much? Were you so easy to read?

You bit down your lip, unable to speak.

«[Y/n],» Killer made a brief pause «you're so much more than enough, and you're the only person on this ship who doesn't know that.»

It felt like your chest was just broken.

You buried your face in the pillow and wept.

Killer resumed his exercises, listening at you crying yourself to sleep.

It was already afternoon when you woke up the day after.

The doctor had been there, judging by the different medical products aligned on the nightstand.

The wound didn't hurt too much, and the stiches felt okay now.

Your head was still pretty giddy, but it didn't surprise you.

You carefully climbed down the bed and stumbled till the door.

Killer's cabin didn't have a bathroom inside, so you shuffled out to reach the common ones.

It was the first time you got to see them, and it was enough to change your mind.

You reached Kid's cabin and listened. No sounds were coming from inside.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to knock. Nothing.

It was not locked, as always, so you slowly entered.

The captain wasn't there, much to your relief.

You showered and chose some new clothes, before getting out on the deck.

A pale sun was lighting up the grey sea.

Some pirates turned to you.

The Mohican was the first one you came across.

«Hey, girl. You look like shit.»

«You too, except for you it's normal.»

His mouth bent.

«Where's Eustass?»

«Workshop. Not in a good mood. He almost killed Thorin at lunch.»

«Cool.»

The salty air was starting to wake your body up.

You reached the railing, surpassing a group of pirates. Feeling their gazes on you, you glared at them.

«I told ya,» you heard one whispering to another «Captain is not in a good mood, she's not in a good mood. Captain is fine, she's fine. It's like an equation.»

I'm not sure you know what an equation is, my dear.

«Hey girl!»

You shot a wary glance at Booka, sensing the irritation in his voice.

The big pirate approached you with a frown. He was always the one expressing his emotions more freely.

«You know that when you mess with the captain, we're the one paying, yes?»

His crewmates turned their worried expression to him.

You decided to just ignore him, moving your eyes back to the sea.

Obviously, it annoyed Booka even more.

«Don't you ignore me, woman! Do us a favour, just let him fuck you when he wants!»

With a fluid movement, you slipped out from one of your sandal and hurled it in his face.

He groaned when it violently hit his nose.

The few men around gasped.

Booka shook his head, features now deformed in rage.

«What the fuck! You're a dead woman!»

«Bring it on!» you shouted, jumping in front of him.

You had to stand on the tip of your toes to just face his chest, but you didn't care much at the moment.

«I eat small fries like you for breakfast!»

His fists closed as he looked down at you.

«I'll crush you, squirt!»

«Okay, enough.»

Two strong marked arms insinuated between the two of you, one hand landing on his chest and the other on your shoulder, pulling you away from each other.

Heat looked at his comrade as he was an idiot.

«Do you value your life so little, Booka?»

The pirate grit his teeth, pointing at you.

«Are we supposed to let her do whatever she wants?! If any other man of this crew did something similar, it'd end up in a brawl for sure!»

«Fine by me!» you snapped back, pushing against Heat's firm grab «I don't want privileges! I don't need Kid's protection to kick your ass!»

Heat closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

«Booka, she's not like any other man of this crew. And, [Y/n]... please, shut up for once.»

You blinked at him, surprised.

«I... okay.»

«Okay?!» Booka shook his head «I swear, I will never understand women!»

He took off, still mumbling to himself.

Heat crossed his arms, trailing him with his sad eyes.

Honestly, you felt bad that they had to endure Kid's attitude because of you. And you just acted like a bitch too. Even after Killer's words.

«I'm sorry.» you muttered, rubbing your nape «He was kinda right.»

Heat glanced at you.

«No, he wasn't.»

«You don't have to protect me, though.»

«[Y/n]... you're unarmed and he's thrice your size.»

«It wouldn't be the first time.»

«Plus, the boss would have slaughtered him later.»

Your gazed shifted on the waves.

«Yeah... maybe not.»

Heat observed your bitter face.

«You didn't listen at what Booka said, did you?»

You turned to him, surprised.

«What do you mean?»

He pinched the bridge of his nose, like you were being incredibly stupid.

«Nothing...»

You looked at him for a while, hoping he would add something, but he didn't.

«Heat, are we...» you bit your inner cheek «are we good?»

You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth.

Why the fuck am I so needy all of a sudden?

However, the pirate's wide eyes flicked on you. He placed a hand on your forehead.

«Are you okay? Did you get fever from the leash?»

You swatted his touch away.

«Forget it!» you spat, turning to walk away.

Before you could leave, though, his large fingers reached your head and he vigorously ruffled your hear.

«Hey!»

«Yes, we're good, you strange cheeky girl.»

Pushing his hand away with a pout, you crossed the deck, a light blush adorning your cheek.

You had to come back for your sandal, though.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the galley, helping Killer with the dinner.

When you first entered and you found him with a clear apron on, you had to press both your hands on your mouth to suppress a laugh.

«Yeah, yeah, it's funny.»

He pushed a bowl full of onions in front of you.

«Cut these till you don't wanna laugh anymore.»

«A little prickly, aren't we?» you grumbled, but obeyed.

You worked in silence for a few hours.

It was impressive how fast and precise he was. You were basically carrying out the tasks he was giving you: cut vegetables, mix stuff, boiling pasta...

The repetitive work gave you time to think about how you wanted to handle things with Kid.

When dinner was approaching, though, the sea got pretty agitated.

It looked like the captain wasn't going to get out from his workshop anytime soon, and most of the men were busy keeping the ship on track.

You ended up going around distributing bowl of food so they could eat, while Killer brought the dinner to Kid.

«Hey big man.» you greeted Booka, handing him his plate «You still bitchy?»

He snorted, taking the bowl from you.

«Look who's talking.»

He sounded gruffly awkward, so you flashed him a spunky smile.

«Don't scowl too much or you'll get wrinkles.»

He huffed, rolling his eyes, and you went back waving at him.

Around an hour later, the sea was calmer and the pirates started to drop their dishes back in the galley.

It was dark already.

You helped Killer cleaning up.

«You know what I was thinking?» you asked, washing some cutlery.

«Do I want to know?»

«Of course you do.» you scoffed «You're so good in reading people, yet you always conceal your face.»

«So?»

«Well, since you were trying to guess who I was, I thought I could do the same.»

«Any luck?»

«Either you want to keep your identity from the WG, or there's something on your face. So, first possibility: you're ugly as hell.»

He didn't reply, busy drying the dishes, so you continued.

«As much as I'd find it amusing, I've the feeling it's not it. And you're freaking blond... a hair colour that is more common among the nobles.»

You peered at him, hoping to catch some sort of reaction, but it didn't happen.

«You might be of high blood then. Like, Cavendish's lost brother, maybe?»

«Very funny.»

«The only other option I can think about is you have a mark on your face. Like the slave mark.»

Again, he didn't react in any way to your words.

«These are all interesting possibilities.»

You sighed.

«C'mooon, give me something!»

Someone knocked on the door of the galley.

«Oi, Killer!»

He moved to open, revealing the Mohican with a quite excited face.

«It's started!» he grinned «The kingdom of lights!»

You leaned away from the sink.

«The what?»

But he just bounced away.

Killer turned to you.

«I can finish up here. You should go out and see, if you never did.»

«See what?»

«It's a common phenomenon in this part of the New World. We saw it a few times already, but the men seem always excited for it. Kid included.»

You hummed, letting him taking over your place in front of the sink. The work was almost done anyway.

«We're not over.»

You got out on the deck.

The crew was scattered along the railing, agog squeals rising here and there, eyes glued to the dark sky.

As soon as the fresh air hit you, you were left speechless.

Thousands of small lights were appearing high in the sky and slowly making their way down to the sea, illuminating the black surface for a few seconds before disappearing.

It was like a lazy rain of stars.

The ship was going through it untouched.

The little glows didn't reach the deck, making you think they were more an optical illusion rather that physical things. Nevertheless, it looked amazing.

«Wow...»

You were completely lost in contemplation for a few minutes, wandering around.

Then your gaze landed on the bow.

Eustass Kid stood there, alone, eyes lost in the night.

A red flame among a myriad of golden ones.

You swallowed, making up your mind.

As you slowly approached him, you felt a few eyes following your steps, but you ignored them.

Kid didn't do anything to acknowledge your presence.

You stood beside him, still contemplating the sky, the back of your hand imperceptibly brushing against his.

Surrounded by silence and night, a soft breeze moved your hair.

«I said that thing to hurt you.» you whispered, without moving your eyes «Because you hurt me first.»

He didn't reply.

«You're a monster, Eustass Kid.»

His arm tensed up.

You inhaled deeply.

«...and I don't care.»

After a still second, you felt his body relax.

This caused your own muscles to loosen up.

You were aware of the whole crew watching the scene. But why would you mind, on a night like that?

«But» you added «if you hurt me that way again, either physically or emotionally, I'm leaving. And if you or your men try to stop me, I will die fighting.»

«I see.»

His low voice made a shiver run down your spine.

The kingdom of light lasted an hour.

Neither of you moved for the rest of it.

Later that night, you went back to his cabin.

He came in when you were already asleep. The soft bustle in the room woke you up.

Kid didn't speak, simply lying on his back next to you after removing his clothes, his flesh arm resting on his eyes.

You couldn't say why, but you sensed a melancholy aura around him.

You shifted your position so your fingers could lightly grab his prosthetic arm, forehead leaning where the metal connected with the skin.

After a few seconds, he spoke.

«Do you mind it?»

You peered up at him. His eyes were still covered.

«What?»

He hinted at his arm, flexing his metallic fingers.

You frowned.

«Why would I?»

His scarred chest rose and lowered again.

«Sometimes I do.»

Your eyes widened.

Was he... showing you some weakness?

«I think it suits you.» you whispered.

He hummed.

«Kid.»

«Hm.»

«You said you noticed my scars. Do they... umh, do they bother you?»

A sly smirk spread on his lips.

«I think scars are sexy as hell.»

You involuntarily smiled at it, heart speeding up.

«I agree.»

He slowly uncovered an eye to peek down at you (his scarred one), but you hid your face in his artificial limb.

When you were deeply asleep, Kid left the cabin.

The night was still dark outside, and most of the crew had retired in the men's quarters.

Killer was sitting on the railing, listening at the waves quietly hitting the keel.

«Did you need to speak with me?» Kid asked, reaching him.

«Yes, but I didn't want to interrupt. Are the two of you good, now?»

«Yeah.» the captain breathed, leaning towards the sea.

The salty breeze brushed their faces.

Killer nodded.

«The Magician sent his answer today. He will be there.»

«Good.»

«...I invited Scratchmen too.»

The redhead snorted.

«He would be a great asset and you know it.»

«Fine.»

«He hasn't reply yet, but I'm sure he got the message. I expect him to come.»

«Well done then.»

The captain stood and headed to his workshop.

Killer jumped down the railing.

«Kid.»

He stopped.

«You know what this means. Time is running out.»

Killer waited for him to reply, but he didn't.

«You have to decide. Either you ask her to stay, or you let her go.»

«Just two options?»

Kid turned to his first mate with a cruel smirk.

«What happened to the third one?»

Killer crossed his arms.

«The third is not an option anymore and we all know that.»

The smile disappeared from Kid's lips.

«I still have to think about it.»

And with that, he took off.