Happy Valentine's Day my lovelies ❤️

~•~

Q&A

To me, the author -

Q - What was your first ever story you read on wattpad?
From - @callmehjaidyn
A - the first official story I read on here was a Warriors Cats fanfic

Q - What inspired you to write DLMBG and BNWSO?
From - @callmehjaidyn
A - Songs for starters. Usually I get an idea about something and work from there. For DLMBG I wanted a Virgil angst story but than it became the crazy plot it is now. It's kinda the same for BNWSO, I wanted to write a SS high school au

Q - Are you aware that you're an amazing person?
From - @QuinnTheDreamer50
A - I get that you all think I am, but my self deprecating ass doesn't agreeing

Q - Have you been physically, emotionally, or sexually harassed before?
From - @EmilyMaeCovert
A - Not sexually or physically. I'm not sure what qualifies as emotional abuse. I do put a lot of my own mental shit into my angstier chapters, especially when writing Quinn, Patton, Virgil, and Remy

Q - How are you doing?
From - @YourOtherMother
A - schools shit but I'm surviving

Q - Do you have a favorite side?
From - @Sander_sides89
A - Deceit, Virgil, and Emile

Q - Do you want Remy and Emile to become permanent sides?
From - @Sander_sides89
A - Yes, definitely, absolutely

Q - How tf are you so good at writing?
From - @-pastelgothwannabe
A - I don't know

Q - How did you come up with Quinn, Evan, #glitchbitch, and your other characters?
Q - How were your new characters created?
From - @CupCakes2817 @GirlWhosGotSides
A - This is a long story. I needed a boyfriend for Deceit since Remus didn't exist at the time of creating Quinn's character. And I wanted it to be a more fragile softer trait so I went with Doubt. At the time I didn't even think about names so I didn't name him and for the longest time he was a totally flat, static character. Than I finally gave him a name and started developing his personality and likes. Which a lot I base off myself. Than Remus needed a boyfriend and I spent days trying to think up a trait but my mind always went back to Innocence. And I definitely wanted Innocence to be an incredibly soft and gently and tiny bean. So than Evan came into existence. He needed angst and something I hadn't touched were seizures. So than I created his whole seizure problems and all that. Corruption originally existed just because I hate having Deceit as the villain. But than the story continued and I developed his character more too and now I have the psychotic bastard that he is now. Wylan, who I'm most proud of, was in the works for about four months. Technically being introduced pretty early on but no one figured it out. I wanted him to be Sadness and I wanted him to have a lot of trauma. My mind tied music and sadness together so I made him a ballerina. But than I needed more angst so I took off some of his limbs. Than I got the idea of him basically being this puppet that Corruption controls which led the idea of him having a key. Draven was completely random because people started shipping Wylan with the parasite/Not Quinn. So I gave him a name and developed his character. Asura and Ophelia only exist because I wanted that crack chapter of Evan being too cute and pure to die. Steve if a fan creation that was originally supposed to be a one time character.
If you'd like to see aesthetic boards of all my original characters, go follow me on Pinterest, I'm Jinxx there too

Q - Do you know how amazing you are?
From - @Edgy_Space_Prince
A - no I'm too depressed

Q - You are amazing, do you know that?
From - @mi_boi_virgil
A - I'm too self deprecating to know

Q - How can you see those kinds of things when people talk bad, and still continue to publish?
From - @InfinitesimalDna
A - usually when I miss an update for no reason, something like that had happened. I do a really bad job of not letting things get to me. Lots of mental breakdowns.

Q - Are you aware of my love for you and this book?
From - @MoralityCazie
A - well I am now

Q - Could you give tips on writing?
From - @MoralityCazie
A - basically just do your best to not listen to the hate. Write what you want and who cares if it's not perfect. If it makes you happy, you should do it

Q - How did you come up with the names for your books and characters?
From - @NewHoney44
A - DLMBG and BNWSO are both Twenty Øne Piløts references. The Wretched and Divine is a Black Veil Brides Reference. A lot of character names I had help from @littlecastiel. I wanted Quinn to have a unisex name because I played around with him being non binary for a while. I don't know about Evan. I saw that name and went with it, I thought it fit him. Wylan was purely @littlecastiel's idea and I think it goes good with Sadness. Draven and Deveroux are both demonic names and I think they fit in with their characters.

Q - When did people really start reading your books?
From - @NewHoney44
A - I'm not sure

Q - How do you get a chapter out every day?
From - @HoneyPlz123
A - I force myself to write because I feel bad if I don't get a chapter out every day

Q - What does Remus look like in BNWSO?
From - @-EmoNightmare-
A - his aesthetic is gay disaster that crawled out of the dumpster. I decided his out fit in the first chapter he was in (Accidental Demon Summoning)

Q - Do you just wing it and start writing then edit after or do you have a plan then write and edit it?
From - @LeKittenChan
A - I never start writing without a vague idea of what I want, then I just go from there. Outside of dialogue, barely anything in my books are spur of the moment

Q - what's your writing process?
From - @LeKittenChan
A - I spend a lot of time outside listening to music and thinking up plot points, than I sit down to write. It usually can take an hour to three hours depending on the chapter and then editing but I'm usually tired by than so I might miss things

Q - Do you know how much exactly I love you?
From - @littlecastiel
A - love you too ❤️

Q - How did you get into Sanders Sides?
From - @Dollycoys33
A - may of 2019, I saw the Accepting Anxiety videos. They really resonated with me and I watched them a lot, which eventually led me to watch the rest of the series

Q - Are you happy with your work?
From - @theoddotaku
A - yes, except for my CreepyPasta books and the first 15-ish chapters of Don't Let Me Be Gone and a few chapters from But Now We're Stressed Out

Q - How was your day?
From - @iiNyxtello
A - it's been okay

Q - How are you so good at writing?
From - @whatwhatidontknow
A - I don't know

Q - What happened to the winged Virgil au?
From - @foxesbeyond
A - it's a winged Sanders Sides au and there's still a lot of plot points that I haven't worked through yet. Mostly just if I'll use my OC's in that book or not. I only have one chapter written of it and between But Now We're Stressed Out and The Wretched and Divine, I'm not going to publish anything else until one book is over

Q - Do you get help with your mental help?
From - @GirlWhosGotSides
A - yes I'm in therapy

Q - Are you a top or bottom?
From - @GirlWhosGotSides
A - very personal, but I'm Quinn if that gives you an answer. I'm a bottom.

Q - What got you into writing?
From - @GirlWhosGotSides
A - basically just wanting to read things that didn't exist so I took it upon myself, now I need to find myself an artist who will draw me stuff cause I can't draw shit

Q - How long have you been in this fandom?
From - @GirlWhosGotSides
A - it'll be a year in May 4

Q - What is your greatest achievement in writing so far?
From - @Genderfluid-Geek
A - Don't Let Me Be Gone with currently 368k reads and #1 rankings a ton of tags

Q - How do you update everyday?
From - @IgnoreThisPotato
A - I force myself to write because I feel bad if I don't get a chapter out every day

Questions about the book :

Q - Do you know how much I love this book?
From - @callmehjaidyn
A - I guess I do now

Q - Why do I love this book so much?
From - @YourOtherMother
A - I don't know, my craptastic story isn't good

Q - Is there a way for us to get in the book?
From - @YourOtherMother
A - no breaking the fourth wall

Q - Is there going to be more backstory about Virgil's sister or not?
From - @Sander_Side89
A - that wasn't my original idea but maybe sometime

Q - Did you take time to research to find the epilepsy and PTSD stuff?
From - @_Microsoft_Nerd_
A - yes, especially for Evan's epilepsy and trying to understand types of seizures and how to help them. I want my books to be accurate, especially with medical stuff so I have to do a lot of medical research for my books

Q - Are Steve and Draven ever going to a part of the book, do you have plans for them, going to make it up as you go along, or are they just not going to be in there?
From - @NewHoney44
A - Steve probably will not make any more appearances. Draven, besides that being the name of Evan's fish, is a secret.

Q - Is Wylan gonna be back?
From - @Whatever343yu
A - that's a secret

Q - When writing the book, did you plan on it going this far?
From - @LeKittenChan
A - reads and votes wish no, and actual chapters, definitely not. For the longest time I had no clue what I was going to do after Damien got introduced. And this story is going to be ended soon

Q - Will Thomas be more prominent in the book or was that a one time thing?
From - @ink_sans102006
A - probably just a one time thing

Q - How did Remus and Issac first meet?
From - @iiNyxtello
A - they met in high school and there's more backstory explained later in the book

Q - How did Issac and Jackson find each other?
From - @iiNyxtello
A - Jackson wanted drugs, Issac was the dealer, they kinda hit it off and became fuck buddies basically. Jackson just uses the relationship to get over Roman while Issac doesn't care who he's dating as long as it's someone he can control and fuck when he wants

Q - Why is Steve?
From - @fander007
A - What?

Q - What makes all the characters attracted to each other?
From - @GirlWhosGotSides
A - for prinxiety, Remile and Logicality, you can all tell. For the the poly relationship, which still doesn't have a ship name, it's kinda hard to explain. In Remus's chapter where he leaves Issac, it explains why he likes the other three. For Quinn and Evan it was a friendship turned relationship. They liked Damien because he was really nice to him and protected them. With Remus, for Evan is the same reason as in Don't Let Me Be Gone and with Quinn he likes Remus because he finally got to know and understand him. And onceRemus started understanding Quinn's triggers and taking care of him, that was the final thing needed. Damien likes Evan and Quinn because they're soft and tiny and cute and precious to him, he likes Remus because while his personality can be vulgar and crude, he still loves and cares for Remus.

Q - Does Jackson have a bad relationship with his dad?
From - @Tiphaine_boulabger
A - no, he has a good home life and good parents. Some people are just psychotic no matter how they were raised

~•~

There's a cartoon therapy reference hidden in this chapter
Let's see if anyone gets it

TRIGGER WARNINGS : death, hospital setting, talks about what happened to Emile and Remy

Emile POV
I brushed my fingers over Remy's knuckles. Tracing the scars across them from the fistfights he got in. The little white and red lines that I'd recognize anywhere.

I have to remember. I have to remember Remy. He survived the night but the doctors still aren't if pull through.

I followed the shape of his face with my working eye. My left eye still covered by the bandage. Remy is beautiful. I refuse to say 'was'. It's like accepting that he's dead.

His jaw was sharp and prominent. So were his cheekbones. Even despite not wearing makeup, Remy is still incredibly beautiful to me.

He had long eyelashes. His eyelids were flickering a bit from supposed R.E.M.. He was incredibly pale right now.  Dark circles under his eyes.

I moved my hand up and ran my hand through his hair.  It needs to be washed, but Remy needs to wake up first.  His hair was a very dark chocolate brown. 

Rain was falling steadily from the sky now.  It's been like this for hours.  But for some reason, the dreary weather perfectly today's mood. 

Many vases of flowers sat on the windowsill.  Usually I love flowers, but right now not so much.  Jackson even had he nerve to send up a bunch of white lilies.  White lilies symbolize death. 

I grabbed Remy's motionless hand again and held tightly.  I placed a finger over the pulse on his wrist.  It helped to remind me that he's still alive.  That there's still a chance.

Nurse Dot let me get out of bed this morning.  I managed to make it through the night now being out of my medically induced coma.

So I was sitting in a plush chair next to Remy's hospital bed.  Watching as rain fell from the sky and holding his hand tightly. 

I can't do much else anyways.  With a concussion as bad as mine, I can't look at anything too bright.  So no phone or tv.  None of the lights are on in the room. 

Wearing my glasses has become a struggle now.  They don't fit very well over the bandages on my head.  But I need them so I don't strain my eyes and worsen my concussion. 

Mom and Dad visited yesterday.  Mom was very emotional.  Hugging me tightly and sobbing her eyes out again.  I don't even want to imagine the emotional pain she was in.

Nurse Dot explained to me that I was medically dead for about an hour.  It's strange to think about in hindsight.  I don't remember any of it. 

The last thing I remember is the car speeding towards me.  The snow falling.  The coppery smell of blood in the air.  Sitting on the cold asphalt of the road.  Remy's body splayed on the ground only a few feet away from me yet I felt it felt like mountains between us. 

Everything in that moment seemed to slow down.  The car and it's bright headlights.  The initial pain.  The snap of bone.  Extreme pain washing over my entire body.  And than darkness.

I forced myself away from those thoughts.  I looked down at Remy again.  His chest rose painfully slowly with each breath.  I willed and prayed that he would open his eyes. 

I wish none of this happened.  As much as I despise Remy's Mom for what she did to Remy, I wish she didn't die.  None of this would've happened if she hadn't decided to drink and drive. 

We wouldn't have got run over.  Remy wouldn't be laying unconscious on life support in a hospital bed.  He wouldn't be having to fight for his life.  I wouldn't be in pain like this. 

Wether the physical pain in head or the emotional pain in my heart.  I need Remy to wake up.  I can't do this without him. 

I can't loose him.  I don't want Remy to die.  I need him.  I don't want to live on without him.

I tried to focus on good things.  The happy memories from our relationship.  When Remy confessed to me.  Bingeing all the seasons of Steven Universe with him after that.  Planning our future together.  Spending Christmas with him.  All those nights spent cuddling together.  Loosing my virginity to Remy.  Valentines Day and all those dates we on.  The night we spent on the cliff, when Remy told me about his mom. 

Tears were rolling down my cheeks now.  I love Remy so much.  He's everything to me.  The crying got worse.  Crying turned to shaking and sobbing. 

"Don't take him from me,"  I prayed and pleaded with whatever was out there.  "I need him." 

But of course, I got no response.  From neither Remy nor some deity coming down to make aren't wake up. 

"Please,"  I chocked out.  "Don't leave me.  Please don't leave me.  Wake up."  Silence.  No response.  And then. 

Remy opened his eyes. 

He breathed in a huge breath of air, his eyes wide open.  Then he collapsed back onto the gurney, breathing heavily. 

The clock on the wall said 2:48.  This is my favorite time of the day now.  A particular favorite time of mine. 

I stared at Remy in shock.  Holding his hand tightly, probably painful for him.  Remy was just staring up at the ceiling, gasping ragged pain filled gasped.

I pressed the button to call the nurse.  Seconds later, Nurse Dot walked back.  She gasped upon seeing Remy awake. 

"What...Emile...?"  Remy mumbled, obviously disoriented. 

"I'm right here,"  I told him, trying to move into his sight. 

"What happened?"  He asked, reaching a hand up.  He placed it against the left side of my face. 

I flinched away from his hand from the pain, making Remy's eyes widened in fear.  I moved from the chair and sat on the side of the bed. 

Nurse Dot started taking his vitals, making sure he was okay.  She seemed shocked to say the least.  No one working here expecting Remy to pull through and survive. 

Once she was done, she left us alone to give us some space. She told me to explain everything to Remy.

"Do you remember the car?  And what happened to your mom?"  I asked.  Remy thought for a second before nodding 'yes'.

"What happened to you?"  Remy asked, his eyes trailing worriedly over the bandaged half of my face.

"Who cares?"  I asked, crying but with a smile.  "We're both alive."

"I care,"  Remy said.  Pain and worried flashed in his eyes.  But it was an emotional pain.  Worry for me and my well-being. 

"You're the one that's laying in a hospital bed,"  I mumbled.  I didn't want him worrying about me.  He needs to worry about himself.

"Half your face is bandaged up Emile,"  Remy reminded me.  "Did you try to shoot yourself?" 

A painful panic shot through my heart at that statement.  We just looked at each other for a while.  It saddened me that Remy thought I would try to kill myself. 

"No,"  I told him. "After you were hit by the car, I collapsed in the street. The snow was really bad and a speeding driver didn't see me. He hit me pretty hard. I have a bad concussion and a skull fracture. The bandage is there for the fracture and the bad cut I got on the side of my head. Also my collar bones are broken."

"I'm so sorry Emi," Remy mumbled, reaching up and trying to pull me into a hug.

I leaned down and connected our lips in a soft kiss. Then I laid down next to Remy on the bed, making sure not to put any weight on his chest.

"It's okay," I said. "We're both alive. That's what matters."

"What happened to me?" Remy asked.

"You have four broken ribs and one of them ended up puncturing a vital artery. That caused internal bleeding. You suffered bruising to your heart," I told him. "You've basically in a coma for two weeks now. You were medically dead for about an hour, both of us were."

"That sucks but the being dead things cool," He laughed. "That'll be a fun story to tell one day."

"Who's going to want to head about this?" I asked with a little laugh.

"Our kids," He answered. "Maybe grandkids." I blushed a bit at that and smiled.

"Oh really?" I asked in a teasing manner.

"Shush it, I'm high of pain meds right now," Remy huffed, blushing a bit now too.

"You're adorable," I whispered, smiling softly. I rested the right side of my head in the crook of his neck.

"No you," Remy responded.

"You're a dork," I told him, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Uno reverse card," He said this time.

"Take the compliment or I'm going back to my bed," I warned.

"No you won't," Remy laughed.

"You're right," I sighed. "No kisses than."

"Oh please, you wouldn't last an hour," He scoffed with a smirk.

I nodded 'yes' and buried my face in his neck in embarrassment. This is kinda funny. We're both drugged up on strong painkillers and slowly spiraling into not making any sense.

We fell into a comfortable silence. I focused on Remy's heartbeat. The reminded he's awake and he's going to be okay. We took comfort in each other's presence, holding tightly to each other.

"Love you Emile," Remy whispered, breaking the silence.

"Love you too Remy," I whispered back with a smile.