Y'all ain't ready for da next chapter

-

It didn't stop raining.

It wasn't a rain like before, it wasn't harsh or hailing, and the sky wasn't a deep color, almost dark blue. Instead the sky was white, patches of the sun would peak out every now and then, and the rain was soft and manageable.

It's been two weeks since Josh broke Tylers heart. The rain has been the same everyday, soft droplets, soft clouds and every once in a while the sun would shine through. But only just for a second.

The rain hits his face with a sting however, since he's riding his bicycle pretty fast on the dirt road to the town over. It was only a couple miles, and josh thought that seeing his mother was a good idea.

It was hard, though, not being around Tyler. Everything in him told him not to go back, to be afraid of boys like Tyler, and be everything Tyler is not. It's not like being stabbed made him scared, he was scared way before he even met Tyler, his whole life he was pushed around and beat up for being who he was. And Tyler brought out his true authentic self, which scared him shitless.

Not thinking about Tyler was so impossible. Especially when the sun would shine on the fuel for a few moments, it's beauty reminded him of Tyler. Or when the wind was too strong, he'd think of something dramatic Tyler would say about it all.

But most of all, when josh was home in his room, alone with his thoughts, and he looked over at the mirror, he thought about Tyler the most there. When he woke up and washed his face, he thought about how much Tyler was just like him, and how he spent his whole life not feeling like he was apart of anything. But Tyler and him, they were each other's people. They just made sense, and he ruined it all.

He arrives at the care center where they started keeping his mother, he's only able to talk to her if they're sitting far away since she's getting chemo. But it's alright. All he needs is to see her.

"My boy!" She says excitedly as Josh shuffles in, the nurses always made him so nervous since they were very old and bossy.

"Hi, ma." Josh smiles and sits at the chair meant for him. The nurses always leave the door open to make sure Josh follows the rules.

"You haven't been here in a while, since April or June? Are you busy? Did you get a job?"

"No, no job." Josh chuckles, he thinks about Tyler. "I was kind of busy, I guess you could say."

"Really? Did you get a girlfriend or something?" She smiles widely, and everything about it makes Josh want to cry.

He doesn't say anything. And neither does she when she sees how upset he is to be there.

"I'm sorry." She says. "Elis... told me about the incident a few weeks ago. They told me you didn't want me to know. Which is stupid because I'm your mom, and just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't get to know these things."

Josh stays silent. He feels guilty.

"And I know about, this Tyler, you've been hanging out with."

Josh thinks he might throw up. He doesn't say anything, and he thinks he might die if she keeps talking because Tyler is the last thing he wants to talk about.

"And if, if you're dating him, I don't have a problem with that, if you're so concerned or worried. I love you. I don't know why I brought the girlfriend thing up, sorry about that." She smiles, and everything about her smiles makes josh cry. He feels so stupid, he feels like an idiot and he feels like everything he's ever been so scared about suddenly dissolved.

"We're not friends anymore." Josh says, and as the words slip from his mouth he realizes how real it was. Tyler was gone, out of reach and Tyler wasn't beside him or holding his hand and making him feel like himself.

"Josh, why aren't you friends?"

"Because I messed up. And I don't like who I am at all, ma, and I blame dad all the time for it. I can't- I can't like him without thinking about dad and how much he hurt me." Josh sniffles, he wants nothing more than to be able to sit on his mother's lap while she holds him.

"Your father isn't gonna hurt you. You know, your dad wasn't a good man. He wasn't a man at all, men don't do what your dad did. And guess what josh? I think you're more of a man than your father will ever be." She gives him a warm smile. "Don't let all those moments with your father determine what your life is gonna look like. You'll end up just like him. Bake him a pie, how about that? Tell him you love him and then bring him here to me. I wanna meet this boy you nearly died over."

Josh nods and gets up, puts the flowers on the table in front of his mother.

"The day I get to hug you, I might break you ma."

She laughs, takes the flowers and watches josh leave.

-

Josh made an apple pie, with cut out bread hearts on top and this time he was going to bring plates and forks.

He didn't know what he was going to say to Tyler. What could he say that would make Tyler understand that he is nothing like the boys in town, but josh is a boy in the field that loves to watch the sun shine on the grass? He feels like Tyler already knows who he is anyway, and maybe all josh had to do is kiss Tylers, anything to show him how he feels.

Elis and Mia Mari don't question Josh as he makes his pie, they don't question him when he leaves at ten thirty pm in the rain, and they don't say anything when Josh leaves behind his coat.

He doesn't remember Tylers house feeling so far, he doesn't remember the house looking so grey and sad, and when he gets there Tyler is sitting on the porch and playing with a floating rock.

Tyler does see josh, in the distance, and drops his rock. He gets up from where he is sitting and walks to the gate on his front yard the same moment josh arrives at the steps on the other side.

"H-hi." Josh gasps out. He's nervous, of course he is, Tyler is standing in front of him with the most lifeless eyes and looks more sad than angry.

Tyler says nothing. He's frozen, what is he suppose to do when the boy he loves is standing in front of him?

"Look." Josh grabs the fence and stares at his feet. "I... I think you're probably- no- you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. And that's- that's probably a lot for you to hear. I get it okay? I just, I can't let you go and I know I messed up but please forgive me because I can't even look at myself without thinking about you. You make me better and myself and I don't know why I pretended to not love you when I- I do okay? I think I love you more than I've ever loved anything, and I just- please don't leave me okay? I just couldn't stop thinking about my father, and I know he's not here to hurt me but I just thought if I loved you I might hurt us both. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I'm just scared, Ty, that's it. I love you and I want to kiss you but I'm so scared of everything, you know me, you know I'm just scared of everything. I'm sorry but I just, i-"

Tyler nods, and opens the gate slowly and takes Joshs hand gently into his and hugs him. Joshs knees shake, and he nearly falls as he lets Tyler hold him while he cries. Tyler shushes him quietly, and puts his small hands around his neck.

Tyler takes his hand again, and the small bag in Joshs other hand, and starts to walk into his pink home, Josh follows in confusion but lets the warmth engulf him.

He finds himself in Tylers room, and before he knows it, Tyler is shutting the door and taking both of Joshs cold, bony hands into his small dainty ones.

"Nothing's gonna hurt you, Josh." Tylers eyes are full of hope. "You're my hunny. And I forgive you okay? Do you forgive me too?"

"Of course, of course, I love you." Josh hiccups, he feels so vulnerable but he feels safe around Tyler where he isn't embarrassed about crying and letting Tyler hold him.

Tyler makes sure josh is okay, letting him lay on his soft bed and pulls a blanket over them while josh softly cries into the fabric of his shirt. Tyler runs his hands through his hair, letting his healing hands comfort his brain.

"If you're tired you can sleep okay? I'll be here when you wake up, I promise hunny."

Josh nods, and sits up and brings his arms down to cup Tylers face, his eyes look like the brown of the mountains when the sun shines on them, and his eyes looked like his mother's eyes, and everything about Tyler felt self. Tyler was like a mirror, he understood him, and touching him felt like he was connecting a puzzle piece or finally being able to breathe.

Tylers small hand reaches up to touch the hand josh has on his face, he slowly turns his head to softly kiss the palm of Joshs hand, and he plans nothing more.

"I think I really want to kiss you right now, fairy."

Tylers eyes light up, and for a moment he thinks about lunging himself at josh and kissing him like his life depends on it. But Tyler knows josh is emotionally drained, and probably tired and his brain must be fuzzy from the sleepy spell he's under.

"Yeah?" Tyler smiles and kisses Joshs wrist. "I think ya need to sleep before you decide if you wanna kiss me or not, Kay?"

Josh shakes his head, interlocking his fingers with Tylers and bringing Tylers dainty tan hand up to his lips, kissing his fingers softly.

"Joshua?" Tyler giggles. "Can I offer a proposal?"

Josh nods sleepily and lays beside Tyler, trying his best not to drift off before he can hear what he says.

"If you go to bed right now, I'll let you kiss me tomorrow okay?" Tyler smiles and kisses Joshs nose. "Only if you still want to in the morning."

Josh blushes as he hums a yes, finally falling asleep while Tyler turns off the candles and drifts away, thinking about how much he would kiss josh the next day.

-

This is uhhh lowkey wack uhhh idk but !! omg I feel like I made every1 wait so long for them to kiss but don't worry it's gonna happen doing 😼😼😼

anyway!! I was also wondering what everyone's opinion on smut was? should I not include that? would it ruin the story? I do not know please help me. <3