Hello!

I think this story is going to be updated pretty quickly cause of quarantine and having nothing better to do, but write!

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Comments bring a lot of support and feedback to me. It helps me know what my readers think!

Enjoy!

AKD

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After the first mission, Jaemin got assigned to lighter missions that didn't concern much of shooting and killing people. The missions largely consisted of delivering "goods" from their base to their clients or bringing back shipped weaponry from the clients to their base.

In a way, it was still dangerous, but that was why Jeno always got sent along with him. Or rather Jeno chose to always go with him.

"It's because you guys are still young," his father had only stated when Jeno had questioned him. "Snoopers are less likely to suspect youngsters more than shady looking males in their thirties and forties. It's also only the side customers he is delivering to anyway."

Jeno realized his father did have a point when he had said that Jaemin only delivered to the smaller clients, like the teenage or even young adult sons and daughters of rich businessmen who were willing to spend fortunes on stashes of weed and drugs, as well as small merchants who dealt on such things and purchased from their particular gang.

This side client network unexpectedly bought in a good amount of money for their gang. And they were under lesser suspicion from the police or other interference of the sort, so it was safer to work for them.

Jeno realized another thing as both of them went for these frequent missions.

Jaemin was crafty.

He had plenty of tricks up his sleeve when they were caught in unexpected tricky situations and were in the possible risk of getting discovered.

Like one certain time when they had been led to a club to deliver drugs to the son of a filthy rich politician, they faced an unexpected crisis when they belatedly realized that the guy's guards had come along.

Jaemin had immediately grabbed one of Jeno's knives, ripped up their clothes a little, smeared dirt on both their faces, then grabbed a small cardboard box from beside the trash box they had been standing next too. When the guards came up to them to check them out, Jaemin had bowed his head, nudging Jeno to do the same.

"Hah, what are you beggars doing here, this ain't any place for you," one of the guards had sneered. "Go on. Go home."

"W-we were trying to earn some money. We haven't had food all day today," Jaemin had stuttered out, trying his best to act out like a beggar. "We-we'd usually help out the f-florist in delivering her flowers but we couldn't do that today."

Flowers had been the code word and Jeno had to admit that he had been slightly impressed by how smoothly he had delivered the code.

The guards had looked like they had no idea what Jaemin had been blabbering about but their customer, the politician's son, had immediately jumped forward when he'd heard the code.

"Well, guess what? I'm feeling generous today," he'd drawled while flashily pulling out his wallet and swaggering forward all the while he'd walked towards them. "So I'm gonna give you both some good bucks."

And the money exchange had taken place during which Jaemin had managed to smoothly slide in the drugs into the guy's hands while taking the money. The guards hadn't noticed a single thing.

Several more deliveries took place in this fashion and Jeno began thinking that Jaemin was well suited for this job. Jaemin himself, however, had other ideas.

He hated doing it because his father had lost his life in the process of trying to track down the drug dealings of the very gang he was now part of.

"I'd rather do more dangerous scouting jobs than deliver drugs," Jaemin spat one day.

"But you're already in the gang that your father tried taking down," Jeno in return mentioned nonchalantly. "So don't you think your arguments are kind of null and void?"

It was only then that Jaemin shut up, not having any arguments and glared at Jeno, the despair and conflict plainly visible in his eyes. Something ate away at Jeno to take back whatever he had said on seeing Jaemin's eyes.

"My father's a dangerous man," he ended up saying instead. "I'm his son and in a considerably more important position than anyone else in the gang because I'm the heir. He still gives me hell if I make the slightest mistake in missions. If you ever blatantly disobeyed a mission because of your so-called morals, I can only imagine what he would do to you."

Jaemin wasn't looking at Jeno but the other could see his grim expression and white knuckles from clutching too hard. "I think it would be better for me to die anyway than continue doing the very thing my dad wanted to stop, so let your father kill me for all I care."

"You're stupid to think Father would grant you your death so easily," Jeno's expression immediately darkened and he walked towards the other boy and yanked his face up to meet his eyes.

Jaemin eyes were wide with shock. Deep brown, clear, innocent, naïve. Untainted. Jeno thought. He didn't want this particular boy being messed up by his monster of a father.

"I've seen the way he deals with traitors. He strips them clean of their dignity, kills everyone who is close to them in any way, tortures them for days making them beg to be killed. My father h-he has them healed and taken care of instead so that he can break them all over again. I-I disobeyed him once while training and got both my arms broken. Do you think he is just going to let you go?"

Jaemin gulped and his eyes grew even wider with fear. Jeno was struck by a sudden thought that his eyes were in fact rather pretty. He had no idea why he thought that.

"Survive, Jaemin," he said seriously. "Stop being so fucking weak. Survive so that you can stand without letting anyone get the better of you. Especially not my father."

With that Jeno let go Jaemin's face and walked away, his mind buzzing with the one thought that he had refused to say out loud.

Survive because I don't want to see you broken.

That night, Jeno ate his dinner in his room because for some reason he didn't feel like having his food in the dining hall. He had a feeling he would see his father and he was the last person that Jeno wanted to see.

While he sat on the floor and ate half-heartedly though, the door to his room swung open and Jeno looked up to see Jaemin poke his head through meekly.

"Jeno?" he called out in a small voice and then Jeno saw that he was also carrying his food tray. "Can I.....um eat with you here?"

There was an extended period of silence where Jeno just stared at him blankly and Jaemin began fidgeting. "So.....you don't want me here then?"

"Why?" Jeno said instead in a flat voice. "I don't usually partner up for dinner with anyone. What makes you special?"

"I-I just had some things I wanted to speak about," Jaemin's voice was timid and he slowly started backing away. "But.....I guess I'm not wanted here so....I'll just...."

Jeno sighed and motioned with his hand. "Well, whatever. Come on in, as long as you don't say anything that annoys me."

Jaemin's head immediately perked up like that of a puppy and he clumsily shuffled forward to flop down on the ground beside Jeno. Jeno felt strangely endeared by those actions and then ended up feeling confused about why he felt endeared.

"Don't sit too close to me," he ended up saying gruffly in order to mask the sudden embarrassment he felt.

Jaemin immediately scooted away a little farther and then hastily picked up his rice bowl.

They ate for some time in total silence after that, the only sound being the clacking of the chopsticks against the bowls now and then.

There was a strange tension floating around in the room between them as Jeno wondered about Jaemin's intentions and almost felt like stabbing someone because the boy wasn't saying anything.

"I wanted to apologize," Jaemin finally spoke out and Jeno turned to see the man staring straight ahead, his knees pulled up to his chest.

"For what?"

"Well....um, you know. For this afternoon," Jaemin gave a quick nervous smile towards his direction and looked away again. "I keep bringing up my dad which in turn brings up your dad and - I well - it's not right of me to keep complaining when you've had a much shittier childhood t-than me. I should be grateful of what I did have though.....not gonna lie, I'm not grateful for my current situation but yeah....I'm sorry."

Jeno was staring at Jaemin all the while he spoke.

He was mystified.

No one had ever apologized to him in his entire life, especially not for a reason like the one Jaemin was stating. He felt confused, bewildered, and suspicious all at the same time.

"So, you mean to say," Jeno began. "That you pity me for the life I have led and that's why you apologized? I don't need your fucking pity, Na Jaemin."

"No that's not what I meant!" Jaemin began hurriedly. "I-I mean to say it goes against my morals t-to make light of your situation. I don't pity you. Rather I-I think I admire you....and it's because of that I don't want to disrespect the fact that you've gone through shit and.....yeah.....I don't think you're so bad after all."

Jeno only got more and more confused.

Jaemin....admired him? The person who was responsible for his current situation? And now he was apologizing because he felt that he had disrespected him?

Jeno had no idea how Jaemin's thought processes worked like.

"Jeno?" Jaemin's voice was small and timid again. "Are you actually mad that I apologized?"

"No," Jeno said as he looked at Jaemin with a frown. "I'm confused. No one has ever apologized to me before. I don't know what to say."

A look flashed through Jaemin's eyes, something that Jeno couldn't exactly decipher before the twenty-year-old turned away and looked at his own toes, chin resting on his knees.

There was a small smile on his lips.

"I was right," he said softly. "You're not bad after all."

"You're saying that to the person who is the son of the guy that killed your parents," Jeno's voice was gruff and low. "And kidnapped you and beat you up in all those training sessions, got you into danger as well. The guy who is heartless and killed countless people in cold blood. You are weird, Na Jaemin."

"It's your dad who is shitty and makes you do all those stuff, not you."

It was a rare moment where Jaemin was actually looking straight at Jeno for once, for a short second before lowering his gaze again.

However, his small smile was still directed at him. "Good night, Jeno."

And so saying, Jaemin got up, took his tray and walked quietly out of the room. Jeno still sat at the same spot, brows furrowed in confusion as he recalled Jaemin's very cryptic words.

He didn't know what to make of them, but hearing Jaemin say that he wasn't a bad guy made his heart do strange things that had him even more confused.

"What a weirdo!" Jeno shook his head and got up from the floor, bringing his own tray up with himself.

He thought of Jaemin smiling and realized with clarity that he himself smiled when he thought about it.

He decided that he wanted to make Jaemin smile at him like that more often.

Not Edited

Sunday, March 22, 2020

THere's this lovely Markhyuck book I'm reading right now by @SOBERHYUCK-

The book is about ice-skating and hockey players who fall in love.

It is absolutely wonderful and I can't tell you how many emotions I fell when reading the book...

I have no words, all I can say is that you should go and read "Break The Ice".

Song Recommendation:

"If You Were the Only Girl (In the World)" by Dean Martin