july, 2017

"ever think about the future?"

yoo nara's voice came out soft, but the boy next to her stiffened.

"f-future? what do you mean?"

"you know, like you and me. do you ever, i don't know, think about what it'd be like to have kids?"

jaehyun practically choked on his drink and ended up a coughing mess, which caused his girlfriend to sigh silently. "guess not..."

jaehyun faced his girlfriend, whose eyes were trained on the sidewalk ahead. though it was dark, the boy could see nara's red cheeks. he cleared his throat once before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "honestly, i've thought about it in the past; but that was before i debuted. we're only twenty, nara. don't you think we're a little young to be talking about that?"

nara kept her eyes ahead. lately, she and jaehyun had been a bit distant lately-especially since nct 127 recently had their comeback with cherry bomb. still, the girl didn't want their relationship to end badly. she wanted a future with a husband and kids, despite being young. jaehyun kept his gaze on the side of her face; completely mystified by her beauty.

nara knew jaehyun loved her. she just hoped he loved her enough to either become a part of her future or let her go easily.

•

jaehyun sighed and took his headphones off before leaning back in his chair. he and johnny had just finished another episode of nct night night, but he had been distracted and that frustrated him. the only person who knew that they were dating was johnny, and he seemed to catch on to what was going on when jaehyun didn't seem like himself.

when the guests and staff left, johnny approached jaehyun.

"hey. everything okay?"

jaehyun sucked in his lips, wanting to lie but not being able to. instead, the boy shook his head and ran his fingers through his light brown hair. johnny sent his younger a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder, the same way doyoung had done to him.

"well, if you wanna talk about it, i have some experience." he chuckled, but there wasn't much humor behind it.

the younger sighed and gave johnny a thin-lipped smile. "alright."

the two finished grabbing the rest of their things and headed out the door. however, before johnny left, he grabbed the slightly dusty stuffed bear that he'd placed on a shelf in the recording studio when they'd started filming, and hurried after jaehyun.

the two boys walked side by side as they made their way to the car. after a minute of silence, jaehyun sighed and glanced up at his hyung. "she asked me about having kids."

johnny's eyes widened in disbelief. he'd met nara once, and though she seemed nice, her kindness felt almost scripted. as if she were acting. johnny shut his mouth and searched for something-anything to say.

"wow."

jaehyun let out a short laugh and nodded his head, his eyes now trained on the tile of the hallway floor.

"yeah."

the boys were silent for a little while until johnny faced his younger. "well, what'd you say?"

jaehyun scratched his head but spoke quickly and honestly. "i told her we're still young. dude, i'm not sure what she's thinking. we haven't seen each other in months and she suddenly springs the future talk on me."

johnny nodded sympathetically, hesitating before saying his next words carefully. "so, listen, i know you like this girl, but haven't you noticed anything strange? i mean, don't you think it's a little weird that she brings this up now? when we're really starting to get more popular?"

"i think it's very weird. you're right, i like her a lot, but..." he trailed off, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. luckily, it seemed johnny understood, cause he didn't pry and instead offered jaehyun a kind smile.

the older of the two then gasped as he remembered something, which grabbed jaehyun's attention and caused him to furrow his brows. "what?" johnny stopped in the middle of the parking garage and squeezed the teddy bear in his hands. he'd forgotten all about it. jaehyun turned to face him and raised a confused brow when he saw the bear.

"is that the plushie from the studio?"

"yep." johnny then held it out for jaehyun to take. "it was doyoung's originally, but he gave it to me to help with my ex. he called it a good luck charm. it didn't work for me, but maybe you'll have more luck. i have a feeling you're gonna need it."

the younger of the two paused as he glanced between the bear and his hyung's hopeful grin. he didn't understand the importance of the bear or how it was supposed to help, but he didn't ask. jaehyun reached forward and carefully took the bear from johnny's hands. he inspected it as johnny's voice filled his ears, "mirim named it miko. it's japanese, but i don't remember what it means."

jaehyun nodded, but his eyes remained on the stuffed animal. he gently brushed the plushies head to get rid of any dust collected from the months on the shelf. a small smile tugged at his lips the longer he looked at it. johnny noticed the boy's fascination and grinned. "it grows on you, right?" jaehyun lifted his head to meet his hyung's gaze and smiled.

"thanks, john."

"no problem, jae."

•

jaehyun threw the bear against a wall as rage overcame him.

he didn't get angry very often, but after that day, he allowed himself to get mad.

just hours before, he decided it was time to talk to nara about the whole future thing. their relationship had been moving too quickly for him to catch up, and he was too young to be where she wanted him.

the boy bit back his frustrated yell as he played the scene over and over again in his head.

they had agreed to meet at a little, unknown cafe where not many people hung out. it was private and calm and jaehyun wanted things to stay private and calm. he wasn't sure why, but he walked to the cafe with his mask on and the bear johnny had given him in his hand. he thought over every possible conversation they might have, and he believed he was prepared.

it wasn't long before jaehyun arrived at the little shop, plushie still in hand. he sat in one of the corners of the cafe and waited patiently for nara to arrive.

the bell above the door had already rung twice, but it wasn't her. the third time, a red high heel appeared in the doorway, and jaehyun knew it could only be one person.

nara stepped into the cafe, pausing to sweep one of her curled, dark chocolate locks over her shoulder, and glanced around until her eyes landed on her boyfriend. jaehyun smiled boyishly, but nara didn't return the action. instead, she kept her face blank as she approached the table.

her lack of expression caused jaehyun's smile to vanish. nara sat down and placed her hands in front of her, eyes refusing to meet his. the boy furrowed his brows but waited for her to speak.

a minute passed before she puckered her lips, "listen jaehyun, let me start off by saying you're a great guy,"

and just like that, jaehyun slumped back into his chair, face as blank as hers.

"i like you, i do, we just don't match. i have a plan for myself, and i'm sorry, but it doesn't include me waiting around for a boyfriend whose busy touring and practicing." her eyes were glistening, but her voice remained smooth. jaehyun hung his head and his eyes met the two beads stuck to the bear's face. he thought the bear was supposed to bring good luck, not take it away.

nara cleared her throat and brushed a curl out of her eyes as she stood. "i'm sorry, jaehyun. i hope you find a girl worthy of your love and willing to wait." she took a breath and hesitated for a second before grabbing her bag and walking out of the cafe, the clanking of heels following her out. meanwhile, jaehyun remained unmoving in the chair, his grip tightening on the bear until his hands shook.

and now he was sitting on the floor of his dorm room, back against the wall and bear in his hands. one of the bead eyes had cracked after being thrown.

rather than scream or cry, jaehyun closed his eyes and let his head drop against the wall.

so much for good luck.

• • •

1440 words