november, 2018

"y-you slept with your boss?"

his voice came out barely above a whisper as he processed her angry confession. a silence replaced the screaming, and the red that once blinded dasun faded away. now she just saw her boyfriend taeil looking up at her with sad eyes. betrayal, disappointment, heartbreak shone in them. it filled dasun's heart with aching regret, but she refused to let it show.

"i'm not going to apologize, taeil. our relationship is dying and i was lonely."

"why didn't you just talk to me?" his voice sounded desperate, and dasun had to look away. with her heels on, she stood above him; but she felt small. she knew it was a mistake before it even happened, but she hadn't been in her right mind.

"i-" i didn't know how. "i didn't want to."

"i asked you if you wanted to try therapy and you said no."

"i refused to become one of those couples that needs therapy to save their relationship, taeil!"

"and yet you didn't just talk to me." he trailed off, looking away from his girlfriend and rubbing his neck. he wanted to say he was surprised that dasun cheated on him, but he couldn't. and that broke his heart.

taeil turned back around to face her once again. "i think you should leave."

her eyes widened at how easily he had said it.

"l-leave? just like that? you aren't going to yell at me or make me beg for forgiveness?"

taeil stared at her, a sad look flashing in front of his eyes. "if you need me to yell at you to forgive yourself, i pity you."

dasun's face dropped as tears collected in her eyes. "taeil-"

"get out. we're done."

"d-done?"

"yes. done. i'm breaking up with you. i'm ending our relationship. i don't want to see you or hear from you again. how else do you want me to put it?" the female let her tears fall, but they weren't because she was sad. if it was taeil who cheated on her, she would have done the same. these tears were filled with guilt and anger at herself.

he's too good for me... she told herself as she reached for her bag, her face blank.

"i know it won't mean anything, but i'm sorry." her heels clicked against the hardwood floors, silencing once she closed the door behind her. with her gone, taeil allowed himself to fall back onto the couch and think over what had just happened. his expression remained one of confusion, even when he heard the door open again.

jungwoo poked his head into the room and smiled sadly at taeil.

"hyung, do you want to talk about it?"

•

since winwin would no longer be participating in 127 due to his position in wayv, taeil wanted to spend as much time with the boy as he could before sicheng had to leave.

the members were proud that winwin was going to get the opportunity to have more lines and recognition, but that didn't mean they wanted him to go. they had watched him grow before their eyes, so his departure was bittersweet-especially for the older members.

because their time together was limited, taeil and the other members spent as much time with the boy as he allowed. winwin's hyungs would buy him meals and his dongsaengs would take him to the arcade and park to play. taeil was glad that kun was going with him, considering the fact that they grew together. thinking about it made his chest hurt.

taeil and yuta were talking about ways that could celebrate winwin's last days with 127 when the elder's phone rang. excusing himself, he stepped out of the dorm to answer it.

"hello?"

"where are you?"

taeil raised a confused brow at the rather annoyed tone of his girlfriend's voice. they'd been dating secretly behind sm's back for a few months.

"in the dorm with yuta, why?"

"why? did you forget again? we were supposed to have dinner at seokja's house tonight."

taeil's eyes widened when he suddenly remembered. "oh, you're right. i'm sorry, babe, i'll get dressed right now-"

"don't bother. i already called and told them you weren't feeling well."

a thick silence fell over both sides of the call.

"dasun," taeil finally muttered, raising his voice slightly so she could hear him, "i'll make it up to you. i'm just so busy planning with winwin's surprise-"

the phone beeped, signaling that dasun had hung up on him. taeil pulled the phone away from his ear to check. 'call ended' blinked, and he blinked back in shock. he then sighed guiltily and shoved his phone back into his pocket before making his way over to yuta to finish planning.

•

"winwin this, winwin that. why don't you talk to me?"

taeil's brows shot into his hairline and he tried to keep his voice down. "dasun, i always try to talk to you. i call you every night to ask how your day went. i text you every morning wishing you a good day. i talk to you. it's you who doesn't talk to me." dasun scoffed and threw her arms over her chest, but deep down she knew he was right.

it wasn't one-sided, though. taeil also knew that he had been spending more time with his members than with her, which wasn't unusual, but he wasn't trying his hardest to see her as much.

taeil sighed, not wanting to argue. "fine. you're right. how about we order food and watch a movie? just you and me?"

dasun bit her lip as she thought. last time they'd done that, donghyuck jumped between the two and ate all their popcorn.

she met her boyfriend's pleading eyes and grinned. "no donghyuck?"

taeil laughed and reached for her hand. "no donghyuck."

•

jungwoo sat cuddled up against his hyung's side as taeil told the boy about the breakup.

"i-i'm still just shocked, i think. i don't feel sad or angry. it's weird." his brows remained furrowed as he spoke. jungwoo remained glued to taeil's side as he spoke. "so dasun noona won't visit anymore?"

taeil chuckled lightly at his younger's words, but there wasn't much humor behind it.

"no. she won't."

the elder felt jungwoo nod against him and sighed. then, the younger lifted his head to meet his hyung's eyes. "i have a present for you."

taeil opened his mouth to ask what, but jungwoo was already running to his room. after ten seconds passed, taeil let his mind drift.

"oppa, i really like you." taeil's drunk girlfriend slurred as she rolled over in his lap so that she was looking up at him instead of at the television.

the boy chuckled and ran his fingers through her black hair, "i like you too, dasun. that's why we're dating."

the drunk girl pouted and lazily lifted her hands to cup his face between them. she squeezed his cheeks and taeil laughed lightly.

though the boy was giggling, dasun was very serious. it reminded taeil of a stubborn child. "i like you, moon taeil! i like you, i like you, i like..." dasun cut herself off with a snore and taeil's heart lept at her cuteness.

taeil smiled fondly at the memory. his nose started burning, but he didn't understand why.

"i wish i could see you more... i hate sneaking around like this."

taeil sent his girlfriend a small smile and grazed his thumb over the back of her hand. "i know, and i'm sorry we can't be like other couples. i wish things were different."

dasun squeezed his hand and returned the smile. "i don't. you're living your dream, i'm living mine, and at least we can talk to each other. as long as i have you, i'm happy."

he wished she would have kept that mindset.

"hyung?" jungwoo's voice pulled him from his thoughts. glancing up, taeil saw his dongsaeng looking down at him with sad eyes. taeil's brows furrowed in confusion, but then he felt it.

his cheeks were wet.

he had been crying.

jungwoo made his way back against his hyung's side, comforting his with hugs, and taeil held the bear. his eyes caught the slightly torn tag, and the boy flipped the bear so that he could read what was written on it. the black sharpie had bled some with the years of age, but the letters were still clear.

miko.

that must have been its name. jungwoo had fallen asleep, so taeil decided not to ask what it meant. with a closer look at the tag, taeil noticed the word start to blur. the i was dotted with a heart.

dasun used to dot her i's with hearts, too.

• • •

1441 words