Chapter 31

"WHAT THE FUCK man?" Aiden asked pulling himself off the ground and spitting out blood. Ew.

I myself was to shock to move and every other person was mirroring my expression - jaw hanging open, wide eyes, pale faces (unless really you're tanned) - staring Ian.

Ian flexes his fingers, glaring at Aiden in a way I've never seen before. His pale eyes were so pale right now, they almost lacked colour. He took a menacing step forward and from the corner of my eyes, I see the Evelyn's shuffle backwards. "So what?" He asks his voice says sounding so low and he looked ready to punch Aiden again. "You want to say something and that's what you go for?"

I didn't even get to blink before Aiden's fist comes forward, slamming into Ian's face. He stumbles backwards. "What's it to you?" Aiden fires back fuming.

Fists fly out and I hear something snap and see Aiden fall slump to the ground. I gasp out sharply, falling beside him. "Aiden!" Ian was on the floor too but I kept chanting to myself-

Do not care. Don't care. I don't care.

Aiden stirs and I let out a sigh of relief, snapping my head over to Ian. I couldn't place a finger on his expression but if I was to guess, I'd say confused, angry and a bit hurt. "Why did you have to do that?"

"He punched me." Ian defended as if he couldn't even belief that I was asking him that.

"Yea?" I stood up, a freckle part of me, no- a bigger part of me want to hurt him like he did me. He acts like he doesn't care, so what is he doing here? Was this all an act of defending my honour? Well - "Maybe you should start minding your business, because I don't remember your name being called here."

I can see it all on his face - ouch! Ian stumbles back looking at me like my words were an actual punch to the gut. I hold his gaze, trying all I can to glare and not break down. I hate this but a part of me is feeling very much satisfied.

I realize something, if I don't love Ian, there's only one thing to do; hate him.

Evelyn Munroe speaks up breaking the tension and unspoken staring contest between I and Ian. "I don't know what your name is but bravo." She laughs clapping her hands. "That was wonderful. That was excellent. That was--"

Nobody got to hear what she was going to say next because instead of words, a gasp come out her mouth as I dump my whale meal over her head.

Ellie's word comes to mind and this time, I know exactly how to give her the finger. "Bitch."

"What in God's name is going on here?" I hear a very familiar voice say and with a dreadful feeling, I turn to see my mum standing a few feet away from drama venue, a lanky long student beside her.

Her eyes stop on all six of us, her face getting redder after each person. "To my office." She says slowly, turning around to walk away. "Now!"

Great.

I really should have made a donation right when I thought of it.

**

Maybe its because I was among - bad karma, hatchet wielding mother and all. Or Maybe that's how its done after any intense cafeteria fight that breaks someone's - Aiden's - nose happens. Or maybe its because our principal was just feeling extra petty but any how all six of us, the Evelyns, I, Ian and Aiden all land a two day suspension.

We were also to call our parents in to discuss our 'behavioural issues', so we can all see how splendid that was. After the meeting, my mum won't even look at me or yell as usual - which ironically I really wanted. Because, I don't know if this happens with other parents and children but; I get along with my dad the most and we're good friends. My mum however, not so much. My mum quarreling me, being angry and giving me a lecture is now a normal thing and hurts less every time. My dad being angry and giving me a lecture however, is horrible. Its like someone had a hand inside my body and was twisting and playing with my organs.

As I sat there listening to him, I couldn't even look at his face. I explained everything that went down and how I didn't start it all, I felt like crap. Then he said he was hear if I needed anything and I lost it. I broke down crying and my dad became confused apologizing and petting me up. He was in charge of punishing me because according to him, mum was tired of being the bad cop. But he didn't punish me, he didn't have the guts especially after I cried. As much as I wanted my phone taken away, he refused to.

I stayed in my room all through day one. I switched off my phone because my friends wouldn't stop calling and I didn't want to go through the texts between Ian and I. Zoe never left my side. She sensed that I wasn't fine. At night, Ellie shared my bed with me. I'm sure she's wondering what kind of sister God stuck her with. I watched Netflix too and surely gained more pounds.

Pounds that I intend on shedding today. I finished taking a long shower, dried my hair up because I didn't have the patience for a wet hair. I tied my hair up into a pony tail, wore a Nike sport top and Nike short shorts. I even wore the same brand trainers and straped a heart monitor and my phone on my bicep. Turning on an Adrianna music, I stuck an ear piece and ran downstairs.

I went out for a run.

I hastily scribble that and left it down on the counter, before leaving the empty house and locking it up. I'm not sure when I'll be back and I'm not grounded so...

I start off with a walk and eventually slip into the running mood, my legs bouncing off asphalt in a steady rhythm. I run out our street and continue further and further. Sweat start running down my body, my heart beating wildly. I continue until my legs feel like jelly and I'm certain I've run past three miles. I find myself in the midst of tall brown trees and I slow into a walk, going to my favourite part of the woods.

I start hearing the sound of water before I see it and a small smile decorates my tired face. That smile drops however when I finally reach my spot and I find Ian sitting there. At the exact spot we once sat on, on a school day. I silently groan and turn around to walk away but then it hits me-

This is my spot, he should be the one leaving. With a straight face, I walk on, continuing my mission to get there. Once I'm almost close to Ian however, I chicken out. He can have the whole forest if he wants, I can't be close to him. Unfortunately, he senses me and turns around, dashing my escape plan to the wind.

"Hey." He rasps out and my whole body tingles.

I ignore him, going over to the edge and carefully lowering myself down on it and swinging my legs out. We stay silent, the only sound between us is the falling water and probably my heart.

"What are you doing here?" I finally find my voice. "This is my spot."

"Can we share?" He asks, I turn to look at him but turn away without giving an answer. "I've been looking forward to meeting you here. I can't go to your house and your phone is switched off."

I turn to him, perplexed. " how long have you been here?"

"All day yesterday. Today? Two hours, give or take."

"Why?"

He shrugs. "I wanted to see you. Apologize. Fix thing between us. Talk to you..."

I turn back to the water. "We're talking now."

"I'm-- I'm sorry." He says, his head dropping down.

I tense up immediately, "for?"

"Not for punching your ex, that's for sure."

I roll my eyes, "his name is Aiden and that whole fight was uncalled for."

"I lost it. I can't imagine that he kissed you and had the guts to ask 'and so?' Like it was no big deal." Ian say with clear disgust, then shakes his head. "That whole incident is kind of a blur to me, to be honest."

I watch him. His fisted healing knuckles, the healing bruises on his face and his still cut lip. My heart thumped and I had to literally fight a smile. Really Anna? How can a guy be so cute and hot at the same time. I cleared my throat, mentally reminding myself that I'm supposed to be harsh. I shouldn't smile or swoon over him.

"Remember you're not my boyfriend?" I ask and he visibly flinches. "I don't need you standing up for me. I shouldn't care and you shouldn't too."

I hear and feel him move closer. "Anna, that whole day was a blur. I was already harbouring anger and when you started asking me those questions, I snapped." Pause. " I stupidly transferred my anger on you and you didn't deserve that. I said things I didn't mean."

I gulp, turning to him. "Meaning?" My voice comes out smaller than planned and I underestimated his proximity.

"Meaning, I've always wanted to be your boyfriend since Halloween night. Nothing's changed." He whispers.

Time pauses in that moment, our eyes locked on each other. My heart beating wildly in my ears. I feel Ian's fingers touch mine and that snaps me out of the trance that is his eyes. I pull myself off the ground and stand up to my feet. I see Ian's confused face and I ignore it, pacing around and undoing my tight pony.

"You can't do that, Ian." I snap, after pacing to my feel. My emotions were all over the place. "You have no right to do this to me."

"Roxanna..." He starts now standing but I put a hand out to silence him.

"Do you know how you made me feel? I feel unworthy of you." I confess, having no idea where all this raw feelings were coming from. "Like I have to do something wonderfully great to earn your trust. I could tell you anything and it hurts that you can't do the same. I want us to work, I like you a lot and I want to know you. Is that too much to ask?" I turn away from him, so tears don't betray me by surfacing. "I hate feeling like that."

"You shouldn't. If there's anyone that's to feel unworthy in this," he gestures between us, now standing in front of me. "It's me. My life is fucked up, Anna. I have a lot of regrets and shitty moment and honestly, you're too good for me. I don't deserve you and this," he gestures between us again, taking a step closer. "Is me being greedy."

Ian stands silent looking at me, "I like you a lot too and I have a feeling you won't be here if you get to know me. This is so surreal and I'm freaking scared to drive you away."

The sincerity. The invulnerability. The fear. Everything ebbs my anger and frustration away and I take a step closer until my outstretched hand touches Ian's cheek, he flinches and makes to move away but I don't let him. Tilting up so I can look him straight in the eyes. "I don't care."

He starts shaking his head, "You're just saying that."

"Ian, I don't care." I repeat, my voice surprising me with its boldness and certainty. I'm proud. "Its the present you I like. Whatever you've done, whatever happened, I don't care. And your honestly so nerdy, innocent and cute, nothing can scare me away."

He keeps looking at me, as if to see through me and into my soul, trying to find out if I'm honest or not. I don't look away and maybe he finally see the assurance he's looking for because he sighs and reaches for my hand, pulling it out his face and looking at my fingers, playing with it by running his fingers up and down them.

"I visited my dad in jail." He starts, eyes fixed on my fingers. "Apparently a cop being in jail is really not a great thing. I know this, its been happening and after so many filed complaints, I thoughts it has finally stopped." His jaw ticks but he still doesn't look away from my fingers and continues rolling them around with his. "His leg is fucking broken and he has all these things connected to him. Some people ganged up on him and beat him to unconsciousness."

"I lost myself Anna. I'm already dealing with anger issues and that just..." He blinked, running his tongue over his lip. "I literally went blind with rage and caused a fight, in jail, how stupid was that?" He smiles morbidly.

"You were angry." I defended.

Ian looks up, blinking at me like he just realized I'm still here. "I got banned from coming over, Roxanna. I was almost arrested myself and the cops weren't being the least bit merciful. I'm ashamed of myself and I'm pretty sure my dad would be disappointed. I practically started a jail war. And worst, I can't come see my dad anymore, as least till further notice."

"I'm really sorry and you really shouldn't hold that against yourself. You were angry, even your dad would understand. I'm sure he'd do the same if roles were switched."

Ian finally smiles genuinely. "I'm sure." I don't if he really believes that or just agreed to appease me. "How do you always know what to say?"

I smile, putting my arms around his neck. "I'm sure you wished you've told me sooner, now don't you?"

"Its not about you," he puts his hands on either side of my waist. "Its me. Talking about all these things make me angry, I hate the person I become then. You'll have to be really patient with me, I'm not used to talking. I hate it, but for you, I'll always try."

I nod, pressing my forehead against his. He shuts his eyes a look of content on his face. "I hate fighting with you. Let's not do it again."

He smiles, "no promises." Pause. "Just don't give up on me."

"I won't." I run my fingers through his hair and with the way he moves and his expression, I can tell he likes it. His eyes open up, a shade darker. I bite on my lip. "Are you angry now?"

"Not at all."

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