Brookshadow felt her muscles give as she crumpled to the ground, a wail in her throat. Why now?
She was numbly aware of two cats brushing her fur, one on her left and the other her right.
"Brookshadow."
She struggled to open her eyes against the crushing grief rolling through her body, agonizingly slow.
"Momma." A familiar scent touched her nose, and the tabby queen blinked, a small gasp escaping her as she saw Torrentkit, looking down at her body in confusion, and Dawnkit, whose face was inches from Brookshadow's own. And suddenly, she remembered her kit's ominous warning. What's going to happen isn't your fault.
Dawnkit watched as Brookshadow's expression changed from hopeless grief to pained understanding. She opened her mouth to speak, but choked on her words. Why me? Why my kits? Why is it always me?
Dawnkit's eyes narrowed slightly, as though reading her thoughts. "This isn't the last time you'll face grief," her kit warned. "The life of a warrior is noble, yes, but filled with seemingly endless grief. That is why we are strong. Never forget, Brookshadow."

The vision faded and Brookshadow found herself pressed between Leafpool and Dewfur, slumped on the ground.
"Brookshadow," Dewfur's heartbroken mew reached her ears. "Are you alright?"
She shook her head, momentarily too numb to answer.
Her mate blinked, and the sheen of grief shone strongly in his eyes. Brookshadow smiled hollowly and nuzzled him gently. "It'll be okay," she told him softly, her voice hoarse.
He took a shaky breath and nodded. Leafpool pulled away from Brookshadow and headed to the medicine den.
"Why do you seem so unshaken?" Dewfur whispered to her.
Brookshadow shrugged slightly, a worried look on her face. "I don't know.."
The real question, she thought to herself, is if this is how I'm reacting now...how long until I don't care?

The days passed in blurs. Sandpiperkit didn't get much sleep anymore; nightmares plagued her rest, and Brookshadow got even less sleep. The queen was burdened with quieting Sandpiperkit when she awoke, frightened, from her night terrors, and she had too many things to think about. She'd made the connection: all the things that she'd seen that night she was called to the lake- the two surviving kits, one already gone, Torrentkit's death- they matched up.
Sandpiperkit is next.
The thought possessed her.
Sandpiperkit is next.
I can't prevent it. She's meant to die like that. However it is.
She knew that she had at least two moons. Sandpiperkit wasn't going to be apprenticed until she was six moons old. Brookshadow estimated that her mentor, which the vision had shown was Dovewing, wouldn't let her fight in a battle until she was properly taught fighting techniques, so that gave her maybe another moon.
Maybe three moons, and her only remaining kit would die.
No, Brookshadow didn't have time for sleep.
She blinked out of her daydream and watched Sandpiperkit joking around with Starlingkit.
If she only had three or four moons left with her daughter, then she wanted to make them excellent. Brookshadow's mouth twitched into a smile and she trotted over, pushing Sandpiperkit over with a nudge, and preparing for an onslaught of kittens attacking her.

"Brookshadow."
The tabby queen jumped, twisting her head around and peering into the semi-darkness around her. She'd gone out for a walk after Sandpiperkit had fallen asleep, needing just a small amount of time away from her kit.
A gray face pushed its way from inside the bushes. Dewfur. "What are you doing out? It's late."
"I was just getting some time away from Sandpiperkit. I was going to go back in a few minutes."
Dewfur frowned. "You may want to change your plans.." He shuffled his paws.
Brookshadow tilted her head at him, confused. "What do you mean?"
Dewfur sighed quietly. "I caught scent of something... You should come and smell it.. I think I recognize it, but I want to be sure."
Brookshadow furrowed her brow. "What do you think it is?"
Dewfur frowned and turned, leading the way without answering.
Thanks, annoying furball. The thought echoed affectionately in her mind as she followed, curious as to where her mate was leading her. They made quick progress, trotting through the forest. Dewfur finally slowed near the border.
"Here," he murmured, looking to Brookshadow.
She took a few more steps forward and parted her jaws to drink in scent- a scent she'd never wanted to smell again. She recoiled swiftly and felt the fur along her spine lift in alarm.
Dewfur watched her urgently. "Is it-?"
"It's fresh," she interrupted him. "Let's go report back to Bramblestar and he'll deal with it."
Her gray mate flicked his ears and nodded. "Okay.."
Just as they were leaving, the sound of pawsteps thrummed in Brookshadow's ears,and she turned to see a reddish-orange pelt, the face of a cat she'd never forget.
"Brookshadow-?" The tomcat meowed, his voice hoarse, likely from misuse.
Dewfur snarled, pushing Brookshadow behind him. "Piketooth, you piece of fox-dung, what are you doing here? You know I have permission to kill you."
"Dewfur, I just-" Piketooth broke off with a cough.
Brookshadow narrowed her eyes at him.
Piketooth tried speaking once more, his voice worse than before. "I just want to talk to her. Please."
"No-!" Dewfur started.
"Dewfur." Brookshadow said softly. "Go back to camp."
He growled, low in his voice. "And leave you alone with him? Not a chance. You go back to camp."
Brookshadow watched as Piketooth sat, watching them, from the corner of her eye. "I'll be fine. Go. And hurry back."
"But-"
"Go," she growled.
"....Fine." Dewfur glared at Piketooth, then gently nuzzled Brookshadow before bolting.
Brookshadow felt her heart stutter slightly in fear, but she took a breath and looked directly at Piketooth. She didn't want Dewfur to stay with him, because she knew that he'd kill Piketooth with no hesitation.
Like you played with me, she thought, fixing him in her cold stare. I'm going to play with you before you die.

It's only fair, after all.