Never in a million years did I think I would come to this. Having to go through what I was against at the start. I've hated self-harm since I knew what people do it for. I'm not saying I want to do it but I can't do anymore the pain of betrayal and depression. I couldn't stand the bullies.

I use to say to those people in depression to keep their loved ones close yet look at me I'm no better. The friends I did have they threw me aside once they learned the truth.

My family, well I never had one. The truth is I never met my family. Mother. Father. Siblings. Basically ever since I was born I was on my own. 

Back to my point. Like I said I can't stand bullies. Hell I used to be one of those people who would always stand up to bullies. I always stood up for them. My friends. I stood up for people whom I KNEW would betray me in the end. Yet I still stood up for them.

Why?

I don't know. I didn't want satisfaction. I didn't want to be recognized. I just wanted to help them. Somehow I felt sympathetic. Why? I still don't know. It's just fair to me being able to help. I want to help those who weren't able to defend themselves.

Yet look at me I'm on the verge of ending my own life slowly bit by bit. No one would have expected that the responsible and always kind leader could drop down to this level and kill herself.