CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

It's a few weeks after the new year now, and things had been going well between Jay and Embry for awhile, but then he started distancing himself from her. She doesn't understand why, but she also can't get him on the phone to talk to him about what's going on. So instead, she's just been spending as much time with Bella and Jake as possible while they work on the bikes.

Sometimes Kim goes with her to the barn, but not very often. The Quileute girl either spends her free time with Jared — when he's not busy with some mysterious thing that keeps him away from the house — or she's working on stuff for school. She was struggling last semester and she didn't do too well, so she wants to keep from letting the same thing happen all over again.

Jay hasn't seen Paul since a few days after Christmas either, not since he told her that she should be with Embry, and he should keep his distance. She wanted to thank him for the stuffed Stitch that he left for her, but he seems to be keeping to his word of maintaining his distance from her.

The little brunette gets home from Jake's one day, and she sees Jared sitting with Kim in the living room. They're watching a movie, so she just keeps moving through the house without saying a word. She glances around as she walks to her room, hoping to see Paul hanging around, but knowing that he won't be there. She tries to convince herself that she's not disappointed.

About an hour later, Jay goes to get some dinner, and Jared walks into the kitchen to get some water. She glances over as she's going through the fridge. "Hey, can you do me a favor?" She asks, and he smirks.

"Need something off the top shelf?" He teases, and she pushes him away from the fridge when he walks over to her. "What do you need?"

"Just, uh... The next time that you see Paul, can you thank him for me?" She asks as she then looks at him. "He left me a present for Christmas, and I haven't seen him since I found it. I've been wanting to thank him myself, but..." She trails off, and he nods.

"Yeah, you got it." He says, and she smiles.

"How, uh... How is he?" She asks, and he takes a deep breath.

"Angry, most of the time." He tells her. "He's got it rough at home, and it's been getting worse lately. Sam and I try to help, but he doesn't accept it so easily."

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah." He nods, seeing the concern on her face. "He's stubborn, and he... He gets himself into trouble sometimes. But he'll be fine." He says, and she just nods.

She takes some leftover pizza into the girls' bedroom and does her homework until Elena calls to talk to her. The older girl just calls to check in every now and then, see how her sister's doing with school and everything in La Push and Forks. Elena's not too keen on the idea of her sister riding a motorcycle, but she does think it's really cool that Jay's learning how to restore them.

Kim walks in a few minutes after Jay gets off the phone, earning her attention. "Embry's out front, he wants to talk to you." She tells the younger girl.

Jay goes outside and she smiles when she sees him. "You cut your hair." She says as she looks up at him, and he nods.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was a little long." He says, avoiding her gaze.

"What's going on? I haven't seen you in awhile." She says, and he sighs before reluctantly meeting her anxious brown eyes.

"That's actually what I want to talk to you about." He says, and she just looks at him, waiting for him to continue. "We can't...date anymore."

"Um... Okay." She nods as she looks down for a moment. "Can I ask why?"

"I just... I can't. I know that you deserve an explanation, but I can't give you one without some half-truth story, and I don't want to lie to you." He tells her, and she nods.

"I appreciate that, I guess."

"I wish that I could explain this all better. Hell, I wish I didn't have to do this." He sighs. "Jay, I-I'm not the one who can give you the answers that you deserve."

"What— What does that mean?" She shakes her head, obviously confused.

"It means I'm sorry that I can't be with you. And I'm sorry that I'm hurting you. I never wanted to, not ever." He takes a step toward her and rests his hands on either side of her face. "You have no idea how much I like you, and how incredible I think you are. And I'm so, so sorry for the way that I disappeared before. I need you to know that I never wanted to hurt you."

"I believe you." And she does. She's confused, but she can see that he's been nothing but honest and sincere this whole time.

Embry leans down so that he can kiss her one last time, but he hesitates for a moment. His lips hover near hers, giving her a chance to pull away if she doesn't want to kiss him after everything that he just told her...and didn't tell her. When she makes no move to pull back, he presses his lips firmly against hers. His hands are still resting on either side of her face, and hers settle on his sides, just like their first kiss.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against hers, wanting this moment to last as long as it possibly can. He knows that Paul's gonna be angry when he sees this in Embry's head later, but he can't bring himself to care at the moment. He understands why Paul will be pissed — he's seen what Paul feels for her — but he cares a lot for Jay as well.

"I'm sorry." Embry whispers once more before pulling back, and then he turns around and walks away from her.

—

It's a bit cramped in the truck because Jay's sitting between Bella and Jake as the former drives down the highway; they have the two motorcycles in the back. The youngest has her head leaning back as she stares at the ceiling, and she then glances at Jake when he pokes her cheek.

She's seemed a little down lately, and he wants to make her laugh. Deciding to play along, Jay fills that cheek with air, making it puff out toward him. He smirks as he pokes it again, and she blows the air out of her mouth. He chuckles, and she shakes her head as she smiles.

"Sometimes it amazes me the ways that you two amuse yourselves." Bella says, having seen a bit of the exchange between the younger two.

"It's called making your own fun." Jay tells her, and she nods.

Before she can say anything else on the subject, something outside the window catches her attention. "Is that the guys — Jared and Paul?" She points at the four boys standing on the edge of a cliff that overlooks the ocean.

"Yeah. Sam and his cult." Jake says, and Jay shakes her head.

She's heard the different rumors that go around on the reservation about the boys, but she just ignores all of them. She knows Jared and Paul, and what they would and wouldn't do.

Paul and Jared push one of their friends off of the cliff, and he falls toward the water. Bella quickly pulls over, surprised and even mildly horrified by what she just saw. Jacob laughs as the older girl exits the cab and runs over to the other end of the highway to look down at the ocean.

"They're not fighting, Bell." Jay says as she walks up beside her. "They're cliff diving."

"It's scary as hell, but a total rush." Jake says as he leans against the side of the truck, and Jay watches as Jared then jumps.

"A rush?" Bella repeats.

"Most of us jump from lower down. We leave the showing off to Sam and his disciples."

Bella goes back to talk to Jake at the truck, but Jay stays on the edge of the highway. She swears that she sees Paul look over at her before he jumps off the cliff as well, but there's no way that he could know that she's there.

"Embry used to call them hall monitors on steroids." Jacob tells Bella. "And he was always saying that Jay should stay away from them, telling her that Paul wasn't a good influence. Now look at him."

"That's Embry?" Bella asks, surprised.

"Yeah." He nods. Embry's the one that Jared and Paul pushed over the edge.

"What happened to him?"

Jake shakes his head. "He missed some school. Now all of a sudden, he started following Sam around like a little puppy. Same thing happened with Paul and Jared." He tells her. "Embry even broke up with Jay last week."

"Can we go now?" The youngest walks back over to the truck and climbs into the cab, not wanting to hear anything else about either Embry or Paul.

The other two climb in on either side of her after finishing their conversation, and then Bella continues driving down the highway. They make it to a dirt road that not many people use, which is why Jake chose this spot to teach the girls how to drive the motorcycles.

"Who's first?" The Quileute boy asks after pulling both bikes down from the truck bed.

"Me!" Jay jumps forward, desperately wanting a distraction from what just happened.

"You know these aren't toys, right?"

"No. They're two-wheeled death machines." She smiles as she throws her right leg over and then rests on the bike seat.

He shakes his head and moves to stand in front of it so that he can remind her which levers do what. "Brake." Her right side. "Clutch." Her left. "Gas." He tells her, and she nods as she lifts the kickstand from the ground.

Jay makes it down the wet, dirt road and then turns the bike. The back wheel swings around, flinging mud up, and she uses the brake to stop once she's fully turned. The little brunette smiles as she looks back at her friends, and she thinks they seem impressed. She then drives back and stops next to them, and Jake smiles at her.

"Hey, uh... Can one of you teach me how to drive a car next?" She asks, and both of the older two start laughing.

Next is Bella's turn, and she has a bit of a rocky start. The bike lurches forward and then suddenly stops, but Jay doesn't get the impression that that is what's got her a bit flustered at the moment. Deciding that she's gonna try again, the oldest starts down the muddy road, and both of the other two are a bit nervous as they watch her go. She doesn't look as comfortable on it as Jay did when she was riding.

Bella keeps looking back, but they have no idea what she's seeing. And then the bike starts to wobble as she slowly loses control over the vehicle.

"Hit the brake!" Jake yells, and she does just that.

The front tire digs into the mud, but her momentum keeps her body moving forward. Bella flies off of the motorcycle, and hits a rather large rock on the side of the dirt road. Jacob quickly gets onto the other bike, and Jay climbs on behind him. They make it to Bella in no time, and Jay jumps off before running over to Bella, Jake following right behind her.

"I wanna go again." Bella's saying as Jacob kneels down beside the two girls.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He questions.

"No. I wanna go again."

"No. Forget it. No more bikes." Jay stops her from getting up, realizing that the adrenaline's making it so that the older girl doesn't even realize yet that she hurt her head. "Charlie's gonna kill me if I let you go home with any more holes in your head."

It's then that Bella feels the blood running down the right side of her face, and she reaches up to touch the cut. "Ow." She mutters, her head starting to pound in time with her heartbeat.

"Yeah, ow." She says as Bella looks down at the blood on her fingertips.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry."

"What, you're apologizing for bleeding?" Jake questions, and the younger girl's eyebrows furrow as she looks at her friend.

Bella hesitates for a moment as she glances between the two of them. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"Well, it's just blood, Bella. No big deal."

"Unless you lose too much of it." Jay shakes off what she was thinking. "Come on. I think I've got something in my bag in the truck that we can use to slow the gushing."