"Eds." A small tap on her thigh. Gentle. Non-threatening. "Eddie."

Eddie scowled and cuddled a little more into the back of the hospital chair. Didn't even open her eyes.

"I know you can hear me, sunshine."

Eddie wrinkled her nose. "Sunshine?"

"Come on." Another tap from the hands that stopped her from clawing her eczema to the point of blood once Coach had left the property. The same hands that rubbed the small of her back as the doctor told them Rush was going to be okay, he just needed to stay and be monitored as he'd punctured a lung. They were even the same hands that offered the doctor a napkin-wrapped tooth and received a weirded out look from someone who had probably seen more than their fair share of strange working in the ER for a living. "You gotta eat, babe."

Eddie opened her eyes if only to glare at him. "I ate earlier."

"I can literally see the unopened sandwich from here."

Eddie hadn't done a very good job of hiding it; she hadn't brought any personal belongings that weren't on her person.

"Don't make me pick you up and drag you to dinner."

Eddie scoffed. "I weigh more than you when you're soaking wet."

"So, every time I see you—"

"Ew."

"I regretted that as soon as it came out of my mouth."

"You're so gross," Eddie said. "I'm not going anywhere with you, you pervert."

Axel let out a small laugh. "I'm sorry. But you do still need to eat."

"I have a whole sandwich."

"Eddie," Axel said. "You gotta get out of here for a bit. Get some air. Maybe we can go back to my place and—"

"You're really thinking about sex right now—"

"Respectfully, I was gonna suggest you take a shower," Axel said. "It's been a couple days. It might make you feel a little better."

"A good boyfriend would've brought me my deodorant and told me I was gorgeous."

Axel rolled his eyes and pulled her stick of antiperspirant out of his back pocket. He tossed it into her lap and kissed the top of her head. "You're gorgeous."

"Cheesy fucking asshole."

Axel smiled. "Use the pit stick and we're going to dinner."

"You say that to all your girlfriends?"

"Just you," Axel said. "Maika Monroe doesn't need to be told to wear the pit stick."

"You're such a butthead."

"Oh, you wound me." Axel tapped her hip again. "Up like Shania Twain. I'll buy."

"You literally woke me up, you bitch," Eddie said. "Obviously you're paying for dinner."

*

The problem with San Francisco was that Eddie knew her too well; which meant that she knew where the nearest bar was to the hospital and she knew that Axel was going to pay for any drinks she wanted as long as she ate a handful of French fries. Each time that man gave her a look like he wanted to tell her she should slow down on the liquor, she ate a big bite of the burger he forced her to order and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it wasn't numbing her.

"Do you want another one?" Eddie asked.

"I think I'm okay—"

"Amazing." Eddie jumped up from her seat. And she would never admit it, but other bar patrons might have reported that a certain Japanese woman tripped over her chair, nearly faceplanted into the floor, but miraculously caught herself on the table she and her boyfriend were sitting at while he looked concerned for her mental health. "I'll buy. Want another beer?"

"Water?"

"Shots?"

"Eddie."

"Beer." Eddie pointed a finger in his direction. "Promise I won't get you shitty beer. I have excellent taste."

Was the bar counter farther away than she thought it had been or was she walking sideways more than she was walking forwards? Eventually, she reached the counter. The male bartender gave her a smirk before serving her all the drinks she wanted. It was so nice of him to give her a free shot, too.

"Hey." A man slid along the edge of the bar counter. "Cheers."

Eddie tapped her cup against his and took a sip of her drink. "To what?"

"Oh, life." He smiled at her. "Come around here often?"

"Nope." Eddie went to turn on her heel but slipped and sloshed some of Axel's drink onto the floor and, more importantly and more annoyingly, her shoes. She looked down. "Damn."

"That's alright, I'll grab the next one for you. We can keep chatting."

"It's cool, I've got it." Axel didn't sound annoyed with the other man and that almost made Eddie feel bad. She took a sip of his beer for his trouble. "Don't worry about it."

"I've got it, man," the other man said. Visibly annoyed with Axel. "Just making new friends."

"That's fine," Axel said. "But I think she was just heading out."

"With two full drinks?"

"Well." Axel took the beer from Eddie's hand gently. He looked worried she was going to fall over at the slightest shift in balance. He sipped from the glass. "One of them was for me."

The other man rolled his eyes. "Like that matters."

Axel raised his eyebrows. "Not very girl's girl of you, man."

"You callin' me a girl?"

Axel laughed. "There are worse things. Are you serious?"

"Shut the fuck up, man." Eddie didn't have brain power to see the shove coming but Axel stumbled back into her and spilled more alcohol on herself.

"Sorry," Axel said. For some reason. Because Eddie was drunk but she wasn't drunk enough to think it was his fault.

"Okay." Eddie put the drinks on the bar counter and stood between the two of them. Some kind of drunk as shit Helen of Troy in the middle of a shitty bar. "We'll be going now."

"Want to take this outside, loverboy?"

Axel stared at the other man with wide eyes. "Not really."

The other man scoffed. "Chicken shit."

"I'll do it."

"What the fuck?"

"You?"

Eddie smiled. "Me."

Axel put his hands on her shoulders. "Baby, we gotta go."

"Let go of me." Eddie shoved Axel off her and stared at the other man.

"Now, now," the man said, "I wasn't offering to fight you."

"Eds, we need to go—" Axel turned back to the other man. "Have a lovely ni—"

The music was too loud in the bar. Eddie didn't hear the punch hit Axel; but she did see him go down. It was almost instinct for her fist to ball up and connect with the other man's stomach. The music was too loud in the bar. It took too long for Eddie to hear the bartender telling them to take it outside—to threaten to call the cops. Eddie wore a punch better than Axel. She didn't blame him for that.

By the time they were forced outside by two burly bar patrons and one very annoyed back of house chef, Eddie knocked the other man over.

"Eddie—" The music was loud even outside. It didn't help that the blood pumping in her ears made it easy to ignore Axel. "This isn't worth it—"

Eddie thought otherwise; sat down on the man trying to push himself up off the ground and swung as hard as she could. Her fists hit and they hit and they hit. Too good at destruction. There was blood across her knuckles that could've been hers or his. She didn't waste time checking. There were hardly any pauses when he managed to land a blow and she rarely took the time to stop and consider whether battery was the right option.

She was so angry. Rush was still in the hospital and she didn't say I love you to Axel and Coach quit and her sister was pregnant and her parents left and Giovanni Perez was a fucking asshole and there was no shaking that everyone in her life secretly hated her and she was still on the verge of wanting to do something drastic because the world was a burden and—

Before Eddie knew it, her cheek was pressed into the pavement as her wrists were being handcuffed. She didn't struggle. Hell, she couldn't even bring herself to look up from Axel's shoes; standing close but not too close, like they had sunk into the concrete, no chance of coming to get her. The last thing she needed was to see how disappointed he looked.

*

"Yamaguchi." An officer walked up to the door of the overnight cell Eddie was placed in at a local station not far from the bar—she wasn't sure what time it was but she'd been there for enough time to want to leave. The only reason she wasn't sharing the cell with her friend from the bar was because, they'd made sure to inform her, he had to be taken to the hospital. Eddie still hated hospitals. "Bail's been posted. You're free to go."

Eddie had been to county jail before. Stayed a night in a different station when her ringside incident with Giovanni had happened. Unfortunately, it wasn't new.

What was new was the expression on Axel's face when she was led to the lobby of the station by the officer. She'd seen him annoyed at his father, but that was years of build up. This was... different. It wasn't her place to say he looked good with the bruise along his jaw, she figured. Not when he didn't even hug her. A kiss might've been asking too much when she knew her bail had been on the higher end of the assault and battery scale. Prior conviction and all.

He didn't say anything before turning and walking out of the station. Eddie thanked the officer and jogged after him. The chilly night air nipped through the thin jacket she'd worn to sleep at the hospital. She'd take that over the cold shoulder Axel was giving her.

"No Million Dollar Baby comment?" Eddie asked, falling into stride.

He turned and looked at her. Not a semblance of a smile from her comment. "What the fuck was that?"

"That—" Eddie caught herself. "He hit you."

"Jesus Christ, that doesn't mean you hit back."

"He was starting a fight, I ended it."

"And put him in the fucking hospital, Eddie."

Eddie stepped away from him; still a little unsteady on her feet. "You're not seriously taking his side in this."

"I'm not fucking taking anyone's side—" Axel sighed. "You drank too much and I fucking told you to stop and you wouldn't and then you got in a fucking fist fight at a bar—"

"I—" Eddie stopped. Frowned. It probably didn't help she was still drunk. "I'm having a hard time with... everything."

"I am too," Axel said. "That doesn't mean—"

"I told you it was going to be hard to watch me fight—"

"In the ring, Eddie," Axel said. "That wasn't sanctioned, it wasn't fucking legal—I just had to bail you out of city jail—You know there's a difference."

"There's a difference but not that big—"

"You put a man in the hospital," Axel said. "And you're acting like I shouldn't be annoyed at the amount I had to drop to get you out."

"I'll pay you back—"

Axel laughed. He laughed and it sounded painfully angry. He laughed and Eddie wanted him to stop because it was bitter. "Really not the point."

"Then why'd you get me if you're so upset?" Eddie asked. "I didn't call you—"

"God, because I love you," Axel said.

"I didn't ask for that—"

"Oh, I'm sorry that my feelings obviously don't coincide with yours," Axel said. "You know it's been weeks since I said it and I haven't pressured you and I haven't said anything but every fuckin' day that passes, it hurts a little more that you haven't said it back even when I know it shouldn't? Then you get in a fuckin' fight 'cause you seem to think that's what I'd want and it's just shit, Eddie. I'd never ask someone to do that—"

"You told me I didn't have to say it—"

"Oh my god, day of—I didn't think—" Axel stopped himself. "Am I that hard to lov—"

"Why the hell would you even say that—"

"'Cause you sleep in my bed and we never go to yours and I know I fall harder it's something I'm workin' on but I never thought—until you came along that—" Axel shook his head. "I really don't want to get into this with you, it's been a long couple days. Can I drop you off at the hospital or at yours? I just... I need some sleep. Alone."

Eddie's eyes widened. A nauseous feeling twisted in her stomach. "I can't go home."

"Oh, and why's that? You can have your dog that I've been taking care of back. Don't worry."

"Axel—"

"What's been going on with you? I know it's something. I know Florida wasn't because of your parents."

"I don't want to get into this."

"Why not?" Axel said. "You hardly leave the apartment and when you do, it's because you're upset about something and I get it, but fuck, Eddie, how many more times do I have to beg for you to let me in before you do? Or—or do you even want this—"

"This—"

"Us, I mean—" Axel took a deep breath. "I feel like you're a million miles away. All the fucking time. And I've tried being patient and I've tried to give you the space to be you and—and I'm fuckin' exhausted, Eddie. I just. I feel—I feel like—We should be happy and I feel like you're not—"

"I can't—I don't know how to be in love. And I—I fucking told you to go find someone else and you insisted and I'm sorry—but this is what I do, this is my life and I warned you that you'd hate it—I fucking warned you. And I'm not happy but, fuck, it's not because of you, my god—Why can we just go back to your apartment and I'll kiss you good night and we can yell at each other in the morning—And I'll—I can tell you everything, if that's what you want but—but not right now."

"I—" The way Axel looked at her made her want to throw up on his shoes. Those hazel doe eyes stared at her like she'd punched through his rib cage and ripped his chest open. Eddie was so good at destroying things. She wished she knew how to be gentle. "I can't keep doing this. Chasing you around. Hoping it's gonna be different."

"Axel—"

"No."

"Please—"

"I'll drop you off somewhere, you can give me the address," Axel said. He started back on his way to his car. "You don't even have to tell me where we're going if you don't want to. I... I don't care. It doesn't matter."

"Axel."

"I'm tired, Eddie. Can we please just go?"