I woke up a few hours later, I still didn't have any clothes on, but it looked like Ezra covered me up at least. He wasn't in my bed with me and I had to admit I was a little sad when I realized he wasn't there.

My door was still shut, so I got up and grabbed some pajamas out of my dresser and pulled them on. I looked over at the clock and it was 3:00 AM. It couldn't be that late; I only fell asleep for a few minutes. I crossed the hall and opened Jessa's room and saw my Mom in Jessa's bed with her. She was holding her tightly and they were both snoring. I was glad my Mom still had Jessa around to distract her.

I closed the door and heard baby Kurt crying from JD's old room. Anna was crying too, as she tried to comfort him. I wasn't going to go bother her even though I wanted to help her. I knew she had her hands full. Being a new mom is so much harder than anyone ever tells you.

I looked down the stairs and saw the light coming from the kitchen. There were low voices mumbling and it sounded like JD and Ezra were deep in conversation. I tiptoed down and sat on the stairs to try to hear what they were saying.

"You can't mess this up again." JD said to Ezra.

"I know." Ezra said back to him. "I'm sorry I never told you how I felt about her back then and I'm sorry I lied to you. I loved her before I even knew anything about her."

"I get it. It's not easy to tell your friend you want to be with his little sister. I just wish at some point you both would have felt like you could tell me. I have to be honest with you. After she lost the first baby, I blamed you for everything that happened. I thought you tricked her into sleeping with you and you were playing games with her just because you could. When I came in and found her on the stairs when you came back the second time, I wanted to kill you for putting your hands on her. I remember the night she finally told me she was pregnant with Jessa. I screamed at her until she cried. That was when she told me about everything that had happened between you two. I had no idea how bad your addiction was back then. I just thought you were a prick."

"I didn't like to talk about my history with anyone. I spent so much time trying to run from it; I didn't realize it would catch up to me. When she told me she was pregnant the first time, my sick head went through so many emotions. I didn't want to be a Dad, but the other darker portion of my brain was telling me I did it on purpose so she couldn't leave me. I was battling with myself and lost. I took her under with me. I hate what I have done to her. I'm not sure how she can still look at me like she does. She should hate me." Ezra's voice was shaking. I wanted to move to comfort him, but I didn't want to interrupt the conversation. They both needed this.

"She's a 'lifer'." JD said, chuckling.

"What is that?" Ezra asked, confused.

"It just means that no matter what crazy bullshit you throw at her. She will love you more and more every day. 'Lifer', she's in it for life. Once she holds on, she will never let you go. Promise me you will take care of my baby sister dude, she is the best person I know. She deserves the world." JD said. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. My older brother was still the kind and loving person I remembered.

JD just gave his blessing to Ezra.

"Ezra, are you down there?" I called in a whisper. I didn't want to let them know I had overheard them. My voice broke a little, trying to hold back the overwhelming emotions I was feeling.

"In the kitchen." JD called up quietly.

I walked down the stairs and leaned against the doorway, yawning. JD was standing behind the counter. Ezra was sitting on a stool at the island with a glass of water and a paper plate with a half-eaten piece of cold pizza in front of him.

"What are you two doing up so late?" I asked, trying to see if either one of them would admit they were talking about me.

"Kurt was crying and Anna kicked me out. You women with kids are insane." JD said, smiling.

"It takes a while to get the hang of it. Jessa once kept me up for three straight days when she was an infant. I was seeing dancing bears running around the room by the time I finally crashed." I said as I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to Ezra. "Don't let her kick you out, JD. She needs you even if she doesn't know it. If I could go back, I would have asked for help. I was too proud to admit I didn't have the slightest clue what I was doing."

Ezra reached over and grabbed my hips and pulled me back to him. I sunk into him and he nuzzled into my neck.

"When did you get so wise?" JD asked me.

I shrugged at him and Ezra pulled me in tighter. He kissed my shoulder tenderly and JD turned away. He was still my big brother even though we were both adults now.

"Well, on that note, it's time for me to rescue Anna." JD ruffled my hair as he walked past me to go back up the stairs to help his exhausted wife.

I turned to look at Ezra and he leaned into me and kissed my lips softly. I moaned as I pushed back against him rolling my hips.

"You can't be serious...again, already?" He laughed as I moved against him.

"Round three?" I asked, pulling away from him and biting my lip.

He put his hand in my pajama shorts and pushed his fingers inside me. He licked his lips as his fingers moved slowly in and out of me.

"Fuck, you're already wet for me." He nipped at my neck and I lost myself to the dark-haired man again.

I woke up the next day and untangled myself from Ezra. He was snoring softly. We didn't get much sleep last night and my body was feeling it. I would rather stay in bed today than do what we were about to do.

It was my Father's funeral today and I wasn't sure how I was going to survive.

The alarm clock said it was 9:00 AM and I knew we had to hurry. We had to leave here in the next two hours to get to the services by 11:00 AM. I ran to the shower and turned it on. I plunged myself into the water and began working it through my long hair. I grabbed for the shampoo with my eyes closed and I felt a hand snatch it from me before I could grab it. I felt Ezra's naked body slide in behind me and I imagined I could feel him inside me again. He took his hand and massaged the shampoo in my hair, working it from the roots to the tips and I moaned under his touch. I knew we didn't have time for this, but he felt so good near me.

"Morning, beautiful." He said as he started to rinse the soap from my hair.

"Mmmm." Is all I could say back to him. He took my bath sponge and poured some shower gel on it before rubbing it over my skin. He was careful to wash every inch of me, paying close attention to my curves. Once I was clean, I moved him under the water and reciprocated. I did too good of a job when I grabbed him in my hands and began stroking him. He held himself up using the wall and trembled when he released himself in my hand.

He started to touch me and I groaned. "Ezra, we don't have much time."

"Give me 2 minutes." He said and he moved his fingers, plunging them into me. He rubbed my clit with his thumb while he found my spot on the inside; it was maddening. He grabbed my hair with his other hand and I moved my hips in circles as he moved his long fingers in and out of me.

"Ezra." I moaned his name as my knees began to shake.

"That's it, baby, let go." He pulled my hair harder and lowered his mouth to bite my nipple. He nipped and sucked while his fingers filled me. He moved his hand from my hair and wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me up as my body lost control to him.

"Thank you." I said into his shoulder when I returned to my body. "I needed that."

"I know." He said, kissing me again.