Honey gently removed her hands from his, placing them on either side of his face as his eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened, making her quaking heart beat with a terrible ferocity.

"Negan, I can't tell you how flattered I am...and it sounds amazing, I'm so tempted, but I'm sorry, I can't"

He pulled away from her with a wide open mouth, shock and pure vexation registering on his face along with a sting of rejection. "Why the fuck not!"

"You know why, Negan. I could never betray Rick" She whispered quietly, searching his eyes as something tugged in her chest.

"So this is about that prick! Get over it Honey, he doesn't want you, he's fuckin abandoned you, all your people have! Make life easy for yourself for once, it won't be difficult." He urged her with a tight squeeze of her fingers.

"Negan...Don't" She grabbed his hand and held it to her chest, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. "I'm saying no, I-I can't, I don't know if I should say I'm sorry..."

"So you choose him over me?" He asked, his lips tugging downwards as he swallowed audibly with a clenched fist.

"Don't make it out like it's just about Rick, they're my friends, my best friends...my family. I love them, it's not black and white" She tried her best to soothe him, tracing her thumb over his hand and bringing it up to rest on her face.

He slowly nodded his head, pulling his hand away harshly. For a second Honey watched him very closely as his whole body tensed, his fists balled on his lap and the air around him became thick with electricity, he looked over to her slowly, his tight mouth turning into a sneer as his eyes darkened, in a fit of rage he threw the ring to the side of the room as it pinged off the wall and rolled under the coffee table, his hand gripping her chin roughly as he looked down at her from his nose, palpable disdain registering all over his face.

"Well then, I was hoping you'd say yes so I wouldn't have to punish you for your little fuckin tantrum earlier!" He growled, rising up to his feet so suddenly it made Honey recoil, she shiered when she saw the body language and energy of the very same man who walked out of the RV, and the image of when he made Rick nearly chop off Carl's arm flashed before her eyes. Her fear must have shown on her face as he laughed and shook his head, instantly slipping into the persona of a sadistic madman.

"Now, now Hon! You're gonna have to take your punishment like a big girl. Can you do that for me, hmm? Put on your fuckin big girl pants?".

He looked down into her eyes, his pupils were blown and they looked turbulent, a twitch in his mouth.

He placed a hand over her heart to feel it's beat. "Poundin' like a fuckin drum, ain't it?" He whispered, removing his hand to tilt her head by her chin and dusting the hair off her shoulders.

She suddenly felt the need to explain, as her blood thickened at the thought of what he was going to do.

"Negan, I- I didn't start the fight in the kitchen, she asked for it, don't punish me just because I said no, I-". She was cut off, a gentle pinch trapping her lips shut after he tickled his finger's through her hair and down the side of her face.

"I could of let that slide, Honey...I don't expect you to be a fuckin' pushover, but disrespecting me...Tsk-tsk" He reasoned to her, shaking his head and sighing dramatically, his tone would have been soothing if he was speaking different words.

"Go and sit on the chair Honey, put your left leg up on the desk, I'll try and make this as quick as possible for you...believe it or not, I don't actually want to hurt you, I really fuckin' wish you would have just done as you were told...I gave you a chance, you leave me no choice, can't have people thinkin' I'm sofa on ya'."

He motioned her towards the chair, picking up Lucille and testing her weight before sliding into his jacket.

At that moment time stalled for Honey, and it felt as if a nuke had gone off in her head. A cold chill slithered up her back and she felt as if the grim reaper had touched her, sending her spiraling into an endless void.

"Go on, now...and don't fuckin' look at me like that, you MADE me do this, baby." She looked at him and he with an imitation of someone who was glum, shrugging his shoulders and flashing his brows for her to do as she was told.

Suddenly she remembered the time she had almost drowned, she had swum too far out to sea and a riptide had slipped away with her. She had paddled for what seemed like hours, a burning cramp bit at her muscles as it got harder and harder to keep her head above the water. When all the energy had left her body and she couldn't fight the treacherousness of the sea any longer, she had looked up into the sky. Marvelling on how blue it was, it was at that moment that a serene calmness had blanketed her body and she wasn't afraid of dying anymore.

She had stopped struggling and allowed herself to go under. There was nothing she could have done to save herself, as her brains last burst of Dopamine helped her softly slip away easily.

She had woke up on the beach with her parents surrounding her and a lifeguard pumping at her chest.

That same blanket of calm washed over her now, she didn't want to fight anymore and thankfully her mind didn't question it. Afterall, there was no escape.

She obeyed and walked towards the chair, pulling it out and sitting. Looking out at that same big blue sky, an amused puff of air escaping her nose at the thought as she balanced her left leg on the desk.

"I'm gonna have to break it, right in fuckin two, don't worry though, like I told your great love, we have a good doctor, he'll patch you up, if Lucille doesn't cut through your leg you'll be walking in six...maybe eight months. Let's just hope you don't have to run from a fuckin walker."

She heard him walking behind her, his heavy boots on the floor. A loud swooping sound sliced through the air, the action powerful and heavy. It was undoubtedly Lucille.

"Don't mind me, Honey. I just wanna get this right, one nice hard swing...this is the second time your gonna make my fuckin carpet messy. It's a shame blood is so hard to get out..."

The air sliced apart again as she tensed her leg on the desk.

"I want you to sing me a song" He stated bluntly, like it was the most common request in the world.

"W-What?" She stuttered, broken out of her trance. 

"I said, I want you to sing me a God damn song!" Negan demanded in a fierce and sharp blare.

But Honey was unwilling to use her vocal cords.

"SING ME A FUCKING SONG!" He screamed, Lucille swinging dangerously close over the top of her head, her barbs catching strands of hair and tugging them out.

She cleared her throat and breathed deep, remembering the song her grandmother use to sing to her.

" Little girl, little girl, don't lie to me

Tell me where did you sleep last night?

In the pines, In the pines, Where the sun never shines 

Will shiver the whole night through"

Lucille swung through the air like a crack of lightning, the force sending a grunt through Negans mouth.

"My Daddy was a Railroad man 

Killed a mile and a half from here 

His head, was found

In a drivers wheel 

His body was never found."

She thought of Alexandria, of Rick and Carl, Michonne and Maggie, Sasha and Rosita, Tara and Carol, Daryl and Eugene. Of her family. She silently prayed for them as Negan leveled himself like a batter over her exposed thigh, bringing Lucille high up into the air.

 "You've caused me to weep, you've caused me to mourn 

You caused me to lose my home.

Little girl, little girl, where'd you sleep last night? 

Not even your mother knows

In the pines, In the pines, Where the sun never shines 

Will shiver when the cold winds blow." 

Her voice faltered and dimmed to a whisper, She braced her hands against the desk and her body tensed as her eyes squeezed shut.

"Just do it then Negan."

A thick and expectant silence permeated the room as she sucked in one last breath.

Instead of the sickening crunch of Lucille through her leg, a heavy hand wrapped around her shoulder. She gazed up, confused and startled, tears now dotting the desk.

"I'm not going to do it to you, Honey...but this will be the last time I'm warning you...never, and I mean fucking EVER do that again. I thought I made myself perfectly fucking clear what I'd do to your friends if you tried to kill me again...But in your defense I didn't mention not kneeling so that shit's on me, maybe you forgot that I'm the guy with the baseball bat."

A wave of relief washed over her that left her feeling strangely light, like if she didn't hold on she would materialize through the window and dissipate like static.

"And Holy fuck! I hope your granny didn't sing you to sleep at night with that shit! What a fuckin happy camper you are, I was expecting I want to break free!"

Negan rested on his haunches beside her with soft eyes and gently trailed his fingertips over her hands, the action making her face him.

His thumb gently swept away tears she didn't know had formed, and he bumped the end of her nose like she had just been a naughty pup before resting it on her knee.

"Now, no more tears, Honey. Where'd the girl go that tried to slit whatever her fucking name was in the kitchen? Hmm?" He beamed and waggled her knee playfully.

At that prompt she composed herself as best as possible, stroking back her hair and repositioning the towel, she gave him a sad smile and he narrowed his eyes to inspect the look on her face.

It had all been just a warped game of submission, another one of his soul-crushing tests.

Negan walked over to the chair on the opposite side of the desk and slouched down to regard her leisurely, he leaned his face against his hand and strummed his fingers.

"This IS the last time I will tell you. And I hope by now you realize how deadly fuckin' serious I am. If you ever, and I mean ever disrespect me in front of my men like that again, I will cart you back to Alexandria and make you ALL fucking pay"

He reached out and cupped one of her hands. "Do you understand? Final warning. I can hurt you in ways you'd never imagine, I'm very fuckin creative." He tickled his thumb up and down her ring finger and held it tighter when she went to move it away.

Honey nodded slowly and breathed in a low voice "...I...understand Negan". The words tasting acerbic as her vocal cords constricted.

"Remember what I told you about other men as well" He added, digging his nails into her palm as reinforcement.

Honey sighed, looking past him and out of the window.

A feeling of loneliness niggled in her stomach, along with Carl she had always been the baby of the group. They had watched her grow older and mature, always fitting in as the younger sister. Never a potential lover, regardless of how many longing looks she had shot Daryl or Rick.

"Don't worry about that, no one's ever wanted me, you were only saying that to fuck with my head, I'm only good for killin', scavengin' and now cleanin' pots".

Negan breathed deeply, she watched his chest as it deflated and noticed how his arms flexed when he rested them behind his head. His eyes looking her over carefully as she nibbled at a fingernail and shifted her eyes.

A strange tension began buzzing in the air and he looked like he was wrestling with something silently. He reached out and grabbed her hand, eyes soft and smiling

"Honey. Don't say that, doll...I do wan-"

A knock at Negans door quickly dampened him and both their heads snapped around, his hand quickly dropping hers.

He looked irked, uncrossing his legs and banging on the desk he yelled "Come the fuck in!"

Simon wandered into the room, like a little boy summoned to the principals office.

"Hey, boss...Honey. Lovely to see you again". She shot him a death glare and unconsciously wiped her mouth, imagining how good it would feel to grab Lucille and strike her over his head.

Negan raised his eyebrows and turned to look at Simon dangerously at his suggestive tone.

He cleared his throat and smoothing down his mustache turned his shoulder to her.

"I've got those maps you wanted and a review of the stock takes...You need to have a look at the medicine list, we're running a bit low on antibiotics, morphine and oxy."

Negan bit his lip and smacked his hands to his sides exasperatedly. It confused her to see him show even the slightest sign of worry about anything.

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" Negan chimed, finally regaining his composure.

He stood up and strolled towards Simon, stopping merely a foot away with Lucille back in hand.

"Simon?! Who are you?..." He asked, gesturing to Simon behind his back with Lucille.

"I'm Negan"

Honey shot a questioning look at Simon who eyed her carefully.

"Say again? Simon"

"I'm Negan" He answered, picking up an octave, voice firm and confident, not a hint of hesitation.

The point instantly sank in and Honey knew what was going to happen next, he was telling her she was no longer an individual, but part of collective. Totally submitting to him and his untouchable dominance.

"Honey?...Who are you?"

He looked at her with dark and narrowed eyes, standing to his full height.

She stared at him for a long minute, Simon was looking at the floor, ears pricked to hear her answer.

"I said. WHO.ARE.YOU!?" Negan punctuated, storming over to her, raising Lucille to just below her chin, although he didn't let her touch.

She only stared back, her lips felt they were sealed with glue, her whole mind screaming for her to reply with an inalienable truth.

I am Honey. Survivor. Member of Alexandria.

"Get the fucking trucks ready, we're paying a visit to Rick the prick, let's feed the widow to the fuckin dead and make her watch."

"NO! Wait....I-I...I'm Negan". Her voice reminded her of an empty shell casing. She felt totally and utterly spent, his dire and final warning bouncing around in her head.

He grinned widely and Simon exhaled in relief at the dissipating atmosphere.

"Good fucking Girl". Negan beamed while placing Lucille down. She suddenly took great interest in the carpet, shame washing over her and feeling as if she had sunk chin deep in a filthy puddle, but what could she have done? Allowed her friends to die for the sake of pride? It had well and truly been swallowed.

A firm pair of hands were gently placed on either side of her ribcage and a pair of warm lips kissed her forehead, lingering a little too long for her liking.

She looked up to meet Negans gaze, trying so hard not to cry.

"See? Wasn't so fucking hard now was it, Hon? Now, it's all fuckin fine sayin this to me, but I need to reinforce a message here..." Negan asked looking at her lips, but she knew his question was rhetorical.

He strolled to his desk, picking up his walkie-talkie and flashing his brows tauntingly at her. "Everyone, rec room, fuckin now! All of you fucks need to see this!"