Journal Entry

I forgot what it feels like to be eighteen.

That sounds stupid.

Eighteen isn't supposed to feel old.

But after spending every day worrying about Elliott, teaching three kids, checking cameras, fixing things, and pretending I know what I'm doing, I kind of forgot I'm still a kid too.

Mom and Dad finally agreed to watch the kids one night a week.

I figured I'd spend the whole time worrying about what was happening back at the cabin.

Turns out I mostly remembered what it feels like to just... exist.

I think everyone deserves one night where the world leaves them alone.

Even if the world only agrees for a couple hours.

The adults survived exactly one night of babysitting before admitting defeat.

James knew before breakfast.

His father looked exhausted.

Dr. Anderson had somehow managed to spill syrup on his shirt before anyone sat down.

Karen looked like she'd slept roughly twenty minutes.

Only Elliott seemed refreshed.

She happily shoveled pancakes into her mouth while Harry and Jonas argued over whether dinosaurs would have survived the Sick.

"They would've," Harry insisted.

"They would've become Sick dinosaurs," Jonas countered.

James looked at Maggie.

"I don't even know how to answer that."

"You don't."

She took another sip of coffee.

"Just let them work it out."

Elliott looked between the boys.

"Tyrannosaurus Rex would win."

"Against zombies?" Harry asked.

"No." She shrugged, "Against everybody."

James laughed into his mug.

His father rubbed both hands down his face.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"You wanted children," Karen reminded him.

"I wanted my children."

"You got a package deal."

Across the table Maggie smirked.

James caught it.

"You okay?" she asked.

"My dad looks like he fought in a war."

"He did."

"Yesterday."

She laughed.

His father pointed at both teenagers.

"Don't laugh."

"You insisted you'd be fine," James reminded him.

"We were."

"You have syrup in your hair."

John reached up.

"...Dammit."

Even Karen laughed.

Breakfast drifted into the comfortable chaos the cabin had become known for.

Somebody wanted more toast.

Somebody couldn't find a sock.

Jonas swore Elliott had stolen his pencil.

Elliott denied it while actively writing with the pencil.

Normal.

Wonderfully normal.

When breakfast finally ended, Karen stood.

She looked toward James.

Then Maggie.

"You two."

James immediately became suspicious.

"What did we do?"

"Nothing."

"That sounds worse."

She smiled, "It probably is."

John leaned back in his chair.

"You've been covering for us for months."

James shrugged.

"Somebody had to."

"So today..."

Karen pointed toward the front door.

"...you're off."

Silence.

James blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"We're handling school, recess, lunch, dinner, you two can go off," she shooed them.

"And tonight again, through bedtime," Dr. Anderson added.

"And if the house burns down," John said, "we promise to put it out before you get back."

Harry looked offended.

"We're not gonna burn it down," Harry promised.

"No," Jonas agreed.

"We'll probably flood it," Elliot said with the most innocent smile.

James laughed.

"I'm not sure that's better."

Karen crossed her arms.

"Go."

James hesitated, "What if you need us?"

"We won't," his mother replied too quickly, not giving him reassurance.

"What if Elliott..."

"Elliott will survive."

His little sister looked up from the floor.

"I always survive."

James sighed.

"I don't know..."

Karen raised an eyebrow.

"You've spent months telling everyone you're practically an adult."

"I have."

"Then go act like one."

Maggie stood before anyone could change their minds.

"I'm leaving," she announced before going to her room and coming back with her book and backpack.

James looked at her.

"Already?"

"Before they remember they need us."

Smart.

Very smart.

He grabbed his jacket and notebook, too many eyes to see it.

"I'll be right behind you."

As they stepped onto the porch, Harry stuck his head out the front door.

"Have fun on your date!"

"It isn't a date!" James yelled.

Maggie didn't even turn around.

"It's definitely a date," she called over her shoulder.

James stared after her.

"You could've helped me."

"Nope."

She kept walking.

He hurried to catch up.

The trail to the lake had become second nature.

Roots.

The old split oak.

The bend where the trail opened just enough to catch the evening sun.

James could probably walk it blindfolded.

Not that he ever would.

They walked without talking for a while.

It wasn't awkward anymore.

That surprised him.

A few months ago silence had meant they didn't know each other.

Now silence just meant they didn't need to fill every second.

They reached the shoreline just as the sun dipped lower over the lake.

Orange light shimmered across the water.

James disappeared behind a fallen log for a second.

When he returned he held two bottles.

Maggie laughed. "it's 10 AM."

"If you don't want the stolen beer..." he started to take back the bottle, but she grabbed it from him.

"You stole your dad's beer?" She asked, opening the bottle with a twist.

"The world ended, laws need not apply."

"Then why hide it?"

He looked at the bottle.

"Because they think laws still apply."

She accepted it anyway.

They sat on the same driftwood log they'd claimed weeks earlier.

The bottle hissed softly as he twisted off his own cap off.

They each took one sip.

Maggie made a face.

"Beer is still gross."

"I don't think you're supposed to like it."

"Then why does everyone drink it?"

James thought for a second, "I honestly have no idea."

She laughed, "So adulthood is just pretending beer tastes good?"

"I think adulthood is pretending a lot of things."

She bumped his shoulder with hers.

"That's the smartest thing you've said all week."

"I've said lots of smart things."

"You tried putting cereal in the refrigerator yesterday."

"I was tired."

"You put the milk in the pantry."

"...I was really tired."

The conversation wandered.

Not toward survival.

Toward life.

The way conversations used to.

School.

Teachers.

Music.

Movies.

Favorite restaurants.

The dumb kid who always fell asleep in chemistry.

The girl who cried because she got a B.

The teacher who insisted calculators were ruining society.

It all sounded ridiculous now.

Which somehow made it better.

Maggie skipped a stone across the water.

Three skips.

James managed two big ones, "Ha."

"Show-off."

"I've had some practice."

"You literally grew up here."

"Exactly. 'Some'."

She nodded toward the cabin.

"Did you always think this place was weird?"

"I thought my mom was weird."

"Fair."

"I thought she was building an expensive vacation house."

"And instead..."

He looked back through the trees.

"...Turns out she was building the end of the world."

Neither spoke after that.

The silence settled again.

Comfortable.

Maggie slipped off her shoes.

"What are you doing?"

"My feet hurt."

She walked to the shoreline.

The cold water washed over her ankles.

James stared.

"It's freezing."

"So?"

"It's October."

She looked over her shoulder.

"You coming?"

"No."

She shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

Then she splashed him.

Ice-cold water soaked his jeans.

He stood immediately.

"Oh, you're dead."

She laughed.

"Catch me."

She took off into the shallows.

James followed.

Within seconds both of them were ankle-deep in water, laughing like complete idiots.

She splashed him again.

He retaliated.

She shrieked.

"James!"

"You started this!"

"I regret nothing!"

He lunged.

She dodged.

Nearly slipped.

He instinctively grabbed her arm before she lost her footing.

The laughter stopped.

Not all at once.

Just...Quietly.

His hand was still around her forearm.

Neither of them moved.

The lake rolled gently against their legs.

The breeze carried across the water.

For the first time in months...

James wasn't thinking about cameras.

Or patrols. Or school. Or chores. Or tomorrow.

He was just...Happy.

It startled him.

Because he'd almost forgotten happiness could feel this simple.

Maggie smiled.

A real smile.

Not polite.

Not tired.

Just seventeen year old girl smile.

She looked younger somehow.

Like the apocalypse had loosened its grip for a little while.

James smiled back.

Neither said anything.

They didn't need to.

The cabin lights flickered on through the trees behind them.

Warm.

Safe.

Home.

"We should probably head back," Maggie said quietly. "We didn't bring our weapons."

"Probably safer if we do," he said, knowing the double meaning was sitting there.

Neither moved.

Not yet.

Eventually she stepped out of the water and slipped her shoes back on.

James followed.

The walk home felt slower.

Neither seemed eager for the night to end.

When the cabin finally came into view, laughter spilled out through an open window.

Someone was singing.

Poorly.

Someone else yelled that it wasn't the right verse.

Elliott's laugh carried farther than everyone else's.

James stopped for a second.

"What?"

Maggie looked at him.

He smiled toward the cabin.

"I think they're okay."

She followed his gaze.

"I think so too."

For the first time since the world had fallen apart...

James wasn't walking back toward responsibility.

He was walking back toward home.