Chapter 59
The lighthouse walls closed in around me, cold and unyielding. I could hear the sea crashing against the rocks outside, a constant reminder of my isolation. I wanted to look out of the window, but I was way too high up and I'd felt dizzy looking down.
They were right. I was cut off from the earth, but the effect was greater than I could ever have imagined. I felt lightheaded, as if I was going to faint. It was a struggle to sit up comfortably, so I lay down.
I rested on the narrow bed, which somehow fit in this round space. There was a trapdoor above my head which I suspected lead to the revolving light, and I heard a padlock close when they pulled the door closed when they left me confined to this space.
I ran my fingers over the rough woollen blanket, but it offered me no comfort. All I could see through the porthole window as I lay on my bed was the dark stormy sky which matched the turmoil in my heart. Ugh, even to me I, my internal thoughts sounded flowery and disconnected from my usual self.
I missed my friends and, not surprisingly, it was Gethin who was on my mind most. I knew he had to be there in the council chambers, torn between his duty and whatever was developing between ups. But when Lord Pritchard had spoken so finally in the council hall and Clara had suggested the lighthouse as my prison, I'd looked to Gethin for some kind of objection, some sign of defiance. He'd just stood there, silent and immobile, a sentinel bound by duty.
I mused on the betrayal of the villagers. I'd felt like I was forming relationships with them, but that counted for nothing. The whispers that had followed me around town had turned into accusations. In their minds, I was the bringer of chaos, a bad omen for Llyncroft. I missed the warmth in their gaze, hating to see the fear and suspicion that now lodged there.
It didn't matter. I meant no harm. Just being there seemed to be enough to condemn me.
A seagull's cry cut through my thoughts, a sound as lonely as I felt.
Agnes had visited earlier and had promised to come back. To see her face full of concern and guilt, as if she bore the burden of my imprisonment. But her words couldn't make up for the gulf that now lay between us. The town held me responsible for harming her, for destroying the land when I uprooted the saplings, and for the death of a man I hardly knew.
I hugged myself, trying to hold myself together. How had I done so much damage? The earth, which had once spoken to me and sung under my touch, now bore my scars. Before I came to Llyncroft, I only created life. Now I seemed to bring death.
The light from the lighthouse beacon flashed across the sea. Each sweep a reminder time was passing, time I could use to work out how to escape from Alun's threats or time I could be spending healing the land or finding out who had really killed Thomas and caused all this chaos.
Instead, I was stuck here, unable to help, not trusted, and dizzy where I was cut off from the earth. I felt its absence like a physical ache.
The door creaked open, and Agnes bustled in. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. I managed to sit up, resting my back on the stone wall, its coldness seeping through the thin fabric on my back.
"I just wanted to let you know that Willow Grove is in good hands," she said, putting down a basket she had brought with her. "Your guests... they're alright. They ask after you, you know. They're worried."
I sighed. "And Ebony? Have you seen her?"
Agnes shook her head, and my heart sank. "I'm sorry, love. I haven't seen her. But you know what cats are like. They're independent. She's probably off having an adventure of her own."
The thought of Ebony out there alone without me to look after her made me feel sick. She was more than a cat. She was my silent confidante, my shadow in the night. Separated from her, I realised Agnes was right. She was most likely my familiar, but didn't that make me some kind of a witch?
Agnes must have seen the distress on my face. "I'll keep an eye out for her, though. I promise. The moment I see her, I'll let you know."
I nodded. Ebony was resourceful. She'd be ok. She had to be. I reminded myself that she had looked after herself before I'd arrived and she could do it again.
Locked in the lighthouse, I felt helpless. I was used to having a plan. I may not have a backup for the backup plan, but I normally knew what the next step was, and that had never led me wrong.
"What do we do now?" I needed someone to give me the next step, so I didn't feel like my situation was battering me as the waves outside my prison battered the lighthouse.
Agnes sat across from me. "Evie," she whispered. "There's something you need to understand about this place, about Llyncroft. It's all about balance."
I huffed in frustration. Balance again? "Balance? Agnes, how can I think about balance when everything around me is falling apart?"
She reached out and took my hand. "Because that's exactly when balance is most important. You're an Earth Elemental, your emotions are tied to the land in ways most people can't even imagine. When you feel out of control, so does the earth."
I withdrew my hand and hugged myself. I was overwhelmed with too much pressure. "Are you saying, even though they have turned against me, I am responsible for keeping an entire village's natural balance in check? I still have no idea what it means to be an Earth Elemental, and you want me to take care of people who don't care about me?"
"You're not alone in this," Agnes said. "But you need to find your centre again, find that point of equilibrium within yourself. If you can do that, you can help restore balance within yourself. That's the first step in all of this. Forget about the village for a moment."
She was right, panicking wouldn't help anything. But find calm within myself? That was like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. It felt impossible as it spun away from my grasp as my head swirled with dizziness.
"I don't even know where to start," I said, feeling defeated.
Agnes smiled. "You start by breathing, by feeling the earth beneath your feet, even if it's just the stone floor of this lighthouse for now."
"I don't understand."
"Stone is a natural element. You are surrounded by natural materials straight from the earth. They may have been fashioned into a tower, but they are still part of the earth."
I placed my hands on the stone tiles, wondering if I could see the energy connections I felt between plants, but felt nothing.
"And we get Fiona," Agnes added, as an afterthought.
I was puzzled by Agnes's suggestion to see Fiona. How could someone who dwelled in darkness help me find my light?
"I don't get it," I said, shaking my head. "Fiona is different. How can she help me find balance?"
Agnes looked at me, considering. "Fiona has been walking the line between light and dark for centuries, Evie. She knows the cost of tipping the scales to light or dark and has learned to balance it within her."
"But she's a shadow weaver," I said. "She manipulates darkness."
"She does," Agnes said. "But manipulating darkness isn't the same as being consumed by it. She controls it."
I thought about it. Fiona always seemed in control. Hadn't I marvelled at her ability to move objects without touching them? Could that same control be what I needed to master my own abilities?
"Do you think Fiona could teach me how to hold the earth's power in my hands without being overwhelmed by it? Our powers are different."
"That they are my child, but they both originate from nature. She also has a unique perspective on Llyncroft's history and its magic. She might be able to help you figure out how to work with the land here."
OK, so Fiona was the next step. I could work with that.
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