Chapter 10

The next day after you'd deferred your admittance to university, you felt empty. You spent the entire morning organizing all your college notes on your bed. You had them all laid out in front of you and you stared at them, eyes filled with moisture. You wanted to burn the two years' worth of work you'd done, wanted to rip them to shreds. You were furious at everything and everyone and you were even more angry because you couldn't change anything. You couldn't make this situation better because you didn't know how.

You glared angrily at the pages in front of you, clenching your hands to fists to prevent yourself from following through with your urges. Instead, you closed your eyes and took a few long deep breaths. When you reopened your eyes, you were calm once again. You gathered all your college notes and neatly stacked them away under the bed.

After your embarrassing breakdown, you'd thrown yourself into an organizing frenzy to distract yourself. You'd completely unpacked, put your clothes in the dressers and closets, and had taken a much-needed shower. You were still in a fragile state, but you were trying to stay strong. Trying at least make the best out of this horrible situation.

The one thing you knew you would have to do to make this situation better was at least trying to find some common ground with the vampires assigned to guard you. The entire time you'd been with them, you'd treated them with distrust and caution. And even though you had every right to treat them that way, considering one of them had tried to feed on you the first time you'd met, you knew it was time to open up to them.

Not completely, obvious not completely. But at least enough so you could entertain the idea of a friendship or at least a civil relationship. So far, Jimin was the only one you could talk to without starting a shouting match or letting the conversation fizzle into tense silence. But even talking to Jimin was tense because you could never tell what was genuine and what wasn't.

You made your way out of your room and down the hall. Something caught your attention in one of the rooms and you paused, peering through the slightly ajar door. You were more than a little surprised by what you saw.

Jungkook was standing in the center of the room in front of something large and white, you couldn't quite make it out. His back was facing you, but you could see him moving his arms. You took a step closer to try to make out more, but the floorboard creaked under your shoe and Jungkook turned around abruptly. You only saw a glimpse of his dark eyes before the door was suddenly slammed in your face. You gasped and jerked back in surprise, staring at the closed door. You sighed and turned away from his room, walking down the hall and down the stairs.

You emerged into the kitchen to see Jimin reading a newspaper while sipping from a wine glass. If you didn't know better, you would assume the liquid in his glass was just red wine. He looked up when you entered and smiled, putting the paper down.

"You read the news?" You asked, nodding at it. Jimin looked down at it, like he was just remembering it was there.

"Not really. Just the crossword." He tapped the page where you saw he was filling out the newspaper crossword puzzle. You nodded and went to sit on the island stood across from him.

"I... wanted to talk to you, actually." You said slowly. Jimin looked up and smiled widely, placing the paper down.

"Of course, what would you like to talk about?" He spread his arm openly, but you noticed there was a tightness in his shoulders that said he wasn't as open as he seemed.

"Just... to clear the air. Obviously, this situation isn't ideal for either of us and I know I've been... difficult." You said cautiously, gauging his reaction. He smirked and nodded sympathetically.

"Understandably so. I don't blame you in the slightest on how you've reacted. In fact, you've been stronger than I expected." He smiled and gave you a flirtatious wink. You frowned, surveying his smile suspiciously.

"Thanks... I think." You said slowly. Jimin continued.

"I know you have reservations about us, but I can assure you, we are here to protect you so you're safe with us."

"Yeah..." You looked away awkwardly, dragging your knuckles on the counter. "It's just difficult to get over the whole 'feeding on human blood' thing." You sighed awkwardly, blinking away the moisture that threatened to form in your eyes.

"I'm very sorry this all turned out the way it did. I know how hard quitting school probably was for you." Jimin leaned down and reached across the table to give you a pat on the arm. You pulled back before he could, and he quirked an eyebrow at your movement.

"Jimin, can we be honest with each other?" You asked abruptly as he leaned back. he gave you a patronizing smile.

"I've always been honest with you, Y/N." he said with a wink and flourish. You sighed.

"Look, you should know that I don't like fake people and I can usually tell when people are lying to me. Everything you have said to me has felt... disingenuous." You admitted finally.

Jimin quirked and eyebrow and then chuckled awkwardly.

"You don't have to be fake around me, Jimin." You continued, watching as Jimin's eyes hardened and then softened in less than a second. "I don't really have a choice but to stay here so it's not like I'm going to hold anything against you if you're being genuine."

Jimin smirked and surveyed your expression carefully.

"I promise, Y/N, I've been nothing but honest and genuine with you. I am concerned for your feelings." He grinned and you frowned again as his smile still didn't reach his eyes. Perhaps you were being too judge-y and this was actually the way he was. But then at same time... you'd always prided yourself on your ability to tell fake from genuine.

"Sure..." You said slowly, giving him a look that said you still didn't believe him. Jimin returned your stare with a smirk. "I just... I guess I just have to figure out what to do with myself now that I'm not working or going to school." You sighed sadly and drew circles on the counter. Jimin watched you for a few moments, his mouth tilted down slightly, and his eyes narrowed.

"I want to show you something." He said suddenly, drawing your attention. He stood up and held a hand out for you. "Come with me." You looked down at his hand and considered it for a second, then stood up without taking it.

"What do you want to show me?" You asked, clasping your hands behind your back. Jimin let his hand fall an odd glint in his eyes.

"You'll see." He left the kitchen and you followed behind him, pulling your eyebrows together curiously.

You followed him inside the house and back inside the dining room where Lazarus had given you the news that had changed your life. He walked to the back of the room where there was a door that you'd only just noticed. He opened it and held it open for you. You gave him a suspicious look, but he simply nodded toward the door and waited. You sighed and walked inside, feeling uneasy in your stomach, but ignoring it. You entered the back room and gasped when your eyes recognized your surroundings.

It was a library. A large Victorian room that was filled wall to wall with books. There were a few couches in the center of the room. You stared around the room in awe. The books looked old, as you would expect, and yet there were some that looked newer, or at least didn't have a sheet of dust on them.

"What is this place?" You asked, moving closer to the shelves. You stared at the books and realized that there were ordered alphabetically.

"It's Dracula's library. Lazarus used it a bit too, but since this is technically Dracula's house, I figured you would like to see it." Jimin said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.

"How come you didn't show this to me earlier?" You asked, staring around the room in wonder. Jimin sighed.

"It's been a hectic few days and it honestly didn't occur to me until now. You said you needed something to do so... why not look at his old books?" He said shrugging. You sucked in a sharp breath.

"Do you think there's stuff in here about him?" You asked hopefully.

"Probably, I couldn't tell you though. I'm not the biggest fan of books. Thank god for modern technology. Movies are much more my speed."

You barely listened to him as you pulled an old book from the shelves and opened it, causing a cloud of dust to be released. You coughed and waved the cloud away, peeling the worn pages apart.

"I'll uh... leave you alone, I guess." Jimin said, pulling your attention back to him.

"Thanks." You said just as he turned to leave. "Thanks for showing me this." You repeated when he turned to look at you. He gave you a tiny genuine smile and you were totally caught off guard by the crinkle in his eyes just before he turned and left the room, shutting the door gently behind him. You were pretty sure that had been the first real smile he'd given you in all this time. Perhaps you were finally getting somewhere.

You turned back to the book and blew on the page, clearing the dust so you could make out the words. You realized it wasn't in English and sighed, flipping through a couple of pages before closing it and putting it back. You ran your fingers of the spines of the books along the shelves, wondering if any of them were in English. They were so old, and you were sure that Dracula had lived through generations of different languages, so of course none of these books would all be in the same language or any language that you would understand. Perhaps this was be just another dead end.

You hadn't realized until now, but you really wanted to know about your ancestry. Sure, you could just take Lazarus' word for it that you were descendant from vampires, but you wanted to know more. You wanted to know about Dracula and why he'd been hunted. Lazarus could have been lying to you about the reason for all you knew. You knew next to nothing about him or the other vampires.

You walked around the room, looking at the different books and the names on their spines. Many of the books were old enough that they didn't have anything printed on their spines and many of them were so old and faded, you could barely pry the pages apart. After about twenty minutes of trying to find a book that you could understand without having to employ the use of google translate, but to no avail, so you plopped down on the dusty couch, sighing in defeat. You had been so excited when Jimin had showed you this room. It was a library that presented an attachment, a connection to your past and your ancestry. But now it seemed the only way you could understand the connection was if you became fluent in several different languages.

You looked around the room sadly, feeling the excitement a hope of learning something about your ancestry slipping away. You stood up, making your way back to the door to leave the library behind, when a stack of books that you hadn't noticed before suddenly caught your attention. They didn't look like the other books, more loose-leaf and packaged. There were about twenty stacked on top of each other in two piles, all identical.

You picked one up, realizing that they were notebooks, not printed books. You flipped through one to see slanted, elegant handwriting scrawled over every page. When you paused to look through it more carefully, you realized that it was a handwritten journal. You felt your stomach leap into your throat as you flipped to the beginning and read the date of the first entry.

Sept 2nd, 1820.

You picked up another one and looked at the first date, realizing that these notebooks were all filled by the same person because of the same handwriting, each one of the them dating back centuries. You didn't know whose journals they were, but you had to assume they were Dracula's. If this had been his library, then these must have been his journals. You even realized that the about five of the more recent ones were in English.

Your excitement and hope returned as you collected the five in your arms and went back to sit on the couch. You flipped through one of them to see that the entries were usually three to five pages in length and spanned about a month, sometimes longer in between entries. It seemed the owner only wrote in it when something significant had happened or if he had important thoughts he needed to write down. You were ecstatic to finally feel like you might get some answers into this whole situation. Perhaps these journals would give you an insight into who you were and where you came from.

With that hopeful thought in mind, you began to read one whose entries started in the late 19th century.

It seems Stoker is intent on writing a story about what he has been exposed to. I have tried to talk him out of it, but he is adamant. He believes it will be a bestseller. He has pitched the idea to me, but I do not like it. It seemed to paint me as a villain type, when I have never considered myself as such. Additionally, to have the idea of a past lover returned from the dead seems outlandish. I do not know how anyone would find this book appealing or the least bit entrancing. It feels too far-fetched and embellished.

However, he is intent on writing it. And although I have attempted to dissuade him, there is not much I can say. He is the first human friend I've made in my long years of life and since he made me swear never to compel him, it appears I haven't a choice.

You raised your head from the page, breathing heavily as you processed the entry you'd just read. So, these journals did belong to Dracula. The 'Stoker' he wrote about was probably Bram Stoker, the author of the 'Dracula' novel. Reading from these journals... it almost felt like you could hear a voice in your head, his voice, speaking to you through the words on the page. You ancestor, your family, although he was dead, he lived in these journals.

A tear dripped onto the open page and you pulled back in surprise, wiping under your eyes. You hadn't even noticed you'd started crying.

You shut the journal and placed it on the couch pillow next to you. You swiped at your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. Even though the passage you read wasn't really heavy on emotion or anything like it, it had been a lot for you. You would have to get through these at a much slower pace than you thought.

You rose from the couch and tucked the journal you'd been reading under your arm. You resolved to make yourself something hot to drink and curl up under your blankets and try to read another entry in the journal. You walked out of the back library and back through the dining room, clutching the journal tight in your arms. You were about to step into the foyer when you heard the door open and two lively voices waft through. You watched in surprise as Taehyung entered, hugging someone else. You quickly ducked behind the door before you were spotted.

You peered behind the corner in shock as Taehyung laughed, kicking the door shut behind him. A female giggle took your completely by surprise as you realized that Taehyung had brought a girl home. You watched in pure horror when Taehyung pressed her against the wall and buried his mouth in her neck. she let out a loud moan... like she was enjoying it.

You squinted, trying to make out more about her. She was pretty, no doubt about that, wearing a flowy sleeveless blouse and tight skinny jeans. You noticed there were bite marks on her wrist, which hung limply on her side, and more bite marks on the other side of her neck and her shoulder. You clapped your palm over you mouth, trying to resist the urge to throw up as Taehyung lifted his head from her neck, a euphoric smile on his face as blood dripped from his mouth and his eyes flashed red.

"Do I taste good?" The girl asked, running her hands up and down Taehyung's back. Taehyung grinned and wiped his mouth with the back of his palm.

"Delicious." He crooned, kissing up her jaw, leaving behind a trail of blood.

You whimpered, trying to swallow the bile that rose in the back of your throat and Taehyung turned his head to see you watching from behind the corner. He smirked, his red eyes glinting dangerously and licked his lips. You glared right back, intent on showing him how disgusted you were with him.

"Let's go upstairs." Taehyung whispered in the girl's ear. She giggled and nodded, taking his arm as he guided her into the house and up the stairs. You watched them go and came out from behind the corner to watch as Taehyung guided her up the stairs, supporting her slightly swaying body. Taehyung turned just before they disappeared from sight and gave you a sly wink before pulling the girl away.

You bristled and felt anger churn in your belly at what you'd witnessed. That girl had obviously been compelled and Taehyung was using her to feed on even though you knew for a fact that they had blood bags at home. Why was he doing this? To antagonize you? to prove some kind of twisted point? Or maybe he was just cruel, and he didn't need a reason to do something like this.

You didn't know if he planned on letting her go after he was done or if he planned on killing her. You wanted to go up there, bang on his door, and take that girl away. You wanted to drive stake into his arm or something to make him hurt just a little bit as much as he was probably hurting her without her even realizing it.

"Don't." You nearly jumped out of your skin at the voice behind you. You whipped around to see Jimin leaning against the door frame, watching you with a solemn expression. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw it was just him and pressed a palm to your racing heart.

"Are you just going to let him do that?" You demanded once you'd recovered, pointing up the stairs. Jimin followed where you were pointing with just his eyes and sighed, giving a casual shrug.

"She's compelled, and he'll let her go when he's done with her." He said nonchalantly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. You gaped at him.

"So what? He has perfectly good blood in the fridge, why does he need an innocent girl to feed if he's hungry?" You argued, stomping your foot defensively. Jimin quirked an eyebrow at you.

"Bagged blood doesn't taste as good as fresh blood." He deadpanned. You cringed and took a step back, curling your lip at him.

"That's disgusting what he's doing. That poor girl is innocent and he's feeding on her!" You exclaimed, pointing at the stairs again. Jimin rolled his eyes, his previous smiley façade gone. There was no fake emotion plastered on his face now, only annoyance and boredom. It looks devastatingly similar to Jungkook's perpetual state and you didn't like it at all.

"He's a vampire, Y/N, what do expect him to do? This is what vampires do, we feed on human blood. You know this." Jimin said mocking a little bit. You bristled at his nasty tone.

"Would it kill you to not drink human blood? Like what if you drank animal blood instead? Or just on bagged blood?" You asked, both genuinely curious and just looking for an argument against feeding on humans. Jimin laughed and the sound sent a chill down your spine.

"Vegetarian vampires are a myth. It's just a way to make the idea of us more family-friendly for books and movies. We survive on human blood. If we stop drinking human blood, we'll die, just like you would die if you stopped eating food."

You fell silent and looked away, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.

"What is this really about? You knew we drank human blood, this shouldn't be a surprise to you." Jimin asked, catching you off-guard.

"I just... I wanted to believe that there was still something human about you. That maybe underneath all the teeth and cruel eyes, all of you had some humanity left." You whispered, hugging the notebook tightly. "I was wrong." You croaked, feeling a familiar resoluteness in your tone. "There's nothing human about you, any of you. you're all just... cold-blooded monsters."

"We're protecting you, aren't we? That's pretty nice of us, I'd say." Jimin said with an exasperated sigh. You glared at him.

"You're not doing it to be nice, are you? You're doing it for ulterior motives, because you get something out of it, or you were forced into it. You don't actually care what happens to me." You snapped. "I'm sure if it were up to you, you would just snap my neck and be on your merry vampire way without having to bother with a stupid human with weird vampire-resistant powers, but here we are."

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling helplessly.

"This is good though. I'm glad I'm realizing this now. I needed this. Now I know and understand what to expect from all of you. I won't kid myself, thinking you have human emotions. I know now that you don't."

With that, you turned away and walked back to your room without even sparing a glace back at the vampire in your tracks.