THE PATH OF FATE HAD been cruel to Ophelia. Truth be told, no matter what had come in her course so far, she had always managed to bear the burden of the weight of the tragedies that were thrown her way.

Now, however, she wasn't so sure she would make it out her current predicament unscathed.

The dreaded OWLs had finally approached, and the Malfoy heiress constantly felt like she was drowning in study material. Books were always piled high around her, and essays from the past five years of her education were scattered across every space she encountered. The Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations tended to get even the most organized person turning into a complete freak. 

And no matter how much she studied, it was never enough, there was always something new to memorize or remember. This was an assessment of every, single thing they had learnt since the beginning of Hogwarts.

She would have been able to manage all of this just fine had she had the support of her brother, Blaise, Colin, and most of all, Lucius, because Theo was still keeping his distance from her after losing control of the anger he tried so hard to keep away from her.

Draco had been released from the Hospital Wing, but him and Ophelia still weren't on speaking terms after their fight in his dormitory. 

Blaise was still ignoring her, passing her dirty looks in the corridors and pretending to be deaf whenever Ophelia tried to approach him and explain herself.

Colin wasn't exactly ignoring her, per se. He would smile and wave at her, and they would exchange a few words before parting ways. No mention of that night in his dormitory. It was like they were friends in third year all over again, only this time, any hope of futuristic romance Ophelia had once held had died.

What made her feel worse was the fact that for some strange reason, she didn't feel as disappointed as she should have, and the guilt was killing her inside. Perhaps it was because she was supposed to be head over heels in love with Colin as she had told him she loved him two months ago, but now, that love was still present, only it was different.

Something in the universe had shifted.

The buds of romance had bloomed in the gardens of her heart, once upon a time, into a beautiful, colorful sunset of flowers, and now, after Theo had planted his seeds in the garden, his plants were beginning to grow.

Perhaps Ophelia had gotten so excited about Theo's plants that she hadn't bothered to water Colin's flowers, because they had wilted and died, and now, they were shedding their petals.

Or perhaps that is because all flowers eventually wilt and die. And Ophelia had just begun to notice now, that the garden of her heart, Colin had planted monocarpic plants. 

They only flower once, and once the flowers die, so do the plants.

 They take everything in the soil to grow, then they bloom, and then they die, leaving nothing behind but the tiny buds of the legacy of theirs that had once been so great.

No longer was she full of longing to see the flowers of her monocarpic plants, but full of disappointment, that she should have realized that their fate was sealed and they were bound to die after flowering once.

But despite their ending, monocarpic plants are still beautiful.

Because now, as Colin's flowers wilted and died, leaving new plants in their place, Ophelia knew that her romance with Colin was over, and now, the universe had given her a second chance with him, by giving her tiny offspring of the same flower, waiting to see how she will nurture them.

Had Lucius been by her side, she would have known what to do, for he was wise, he was caring, and he did not judge her for who she was, or the choices she made.

He accepted every bit of her.

And now, she was missing him more than anything. All this while, she had tried to be brave, she had tried to be strong, but the absence of her father, her number one supported was impossible to ignore forever.

What will all of this going on, Ophelia had fallen into depression, and after having drunk her weight in firewhiskey on the night of her third OWL exam, she knocked on the door to Theo's dormitory and burst out crying into his shoulder.

On seeing her state, Theo let go of his self restraint and gave in to his impulses, which were screaming at him to take care of Ophelia because she needed him, and put aside the notion that he was dangerous.

He was dangerous, but he would never hurt her.

Slamming the door of the dormitory behind him after pulling her outside, Theo hugged her tightly, waiting for her to stop shaking and trembling in his arms. When she was stable, he kissed her tearstained cheeks, scanning her features for any signs of injuries.

On seeing her unharmed, Theo breathed a sigh of relief, and gently placed his hands on her waist before picking her up and lifting her onto his shoulder, as if her weight equaled that of a feather.

 Hands wound around his neck and cheek pressed into his shoulder, Ophelia did not protest when Theo took her down to the common room and set her on the leather couch right in front of the fireplace, knowing the flickering and spitting of the flames would comfort her.

"Everyone out!" he demanded, his thunderous gaze piercing into the eyes of everyone that occupied the common room until they grabbed their things and scurried out. 

Once he was alone with her, he scooped her back into his arms, holding her close to his chest until her panic attack was over. He knew not to talk or ask her what was wrong, because it would be futile. He knew everything was wrong. She couldn't keep up with the pressure.

He knew she was having a panic attack because he'd had them too, many, many times. 

And when she stopped crying, he kissed her forehead once more and asked her if she wanted him to walk her to her common room.

"No," she whispered. "I don't... I don't want to go.." she mumbled drunkenly, though her eyes were full of truth and vulnerabilities. "I want to sleep with you," she confessed.

Theo raised a brow, his heart skipping a beat. Though they had cuddled many times together, they had never fallen asleep next to each other, for the sole reason that Theo had thought she wanted to take things slow. Not to mention the fact that nobody knew they were dating when they were supposed to hate each other's guts.

"We can't do that, Principessa," Theo murmured, holding her even tighter than before, his heart clenching at the sight of every, single, precious tear that slid down her cheek. "We'd get into trouble if you get caught here..."

"Please," she breathed, looking into his eyes, her fingers tightening around his shirt, fists clenching around the thin, white fabric. "We can go to the Room of Requirement, I just don't want to be alone.."

It was after curfew, and if they got caught, the consequences could be dire, but Theo would rather be expelled from Hogwarts than watch Ophelia shed one more tear.

And so, after casting a disillusionment charm on them both to the best of his abilities, (it was slightly faulty, but it would do) Theo pressed his finger to Ophelia's lips, indicating the need for her silence.

Ophelia imagined her own bedroom back at Malfoy Manor when they got to the Room of Requirement, and she was so relieved to see the familiar confines of her personal space that she burst out into tears once more.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, don't— don't cry, darling," Theo murmured, wiping her eyes and gently tapping her nose. "You're safe... I'm not leaving until you feel better."

Sobs left her, and she clung to him tightly, until he lifted her over his shoulder once more and stroked her back until the sobs subsided.

The room was a complete replica of Ophelia's room back at the Manor. From the pink constellated ceiling to the pink, rare vintage, grand pianoforte that stood in the center of the room.

Theo sat himself down at the piano bench, maneuvering his girlfriend into his lap. She was refusing to leave him, her fingernails latched into his shirt so hard that she would be leaving holes if the material of his shirt was brittle.

Theo knew her in and out. He knew her because he knew himself. She needed to be distracted, and what better way to do that than play her something? Like him, she loved the piano. And when he used to have a panic attack, he would angrily slam his fingers down on the piano and everything would get better.

"What do you want me to play for you, Principessa?" he murmured, "Tchaikovsky? or Beethoven?"

"Theodore Nott," she mumbled, words muffled by his shoulder. 

"Sorry?" Theo asked, not quite catching her answer.

"Theodore Nott," she repeated. "You."

Theo chuckled softly, as if finding her answer amusing. "Lia, I'm not great at piano playing—"

This was where Ophelia knew him almost as well as she knew herself. No one believed in him, not even himself. He had grown up always thinking he was never good enough, always thinking he was worthless, he was useless.

"You're my favorite composer," she whispered into his ear, causing Theo to feel a sudden rush of blood pounding into his ears, and his hands gripped her waist tightly, pulling him tighter against his frame, as if she could move even closer than she already was. 

"Not Tchaikovsky, not Mozart... You're better than even Chopin himself... I love you more than everyone— " she breathed, and Theo could have happily died right there and then if it meant that those were the last words he would ever hear.

She was drunk, but there had never been more truth in her words than before. She loved him more than everyone. More than Bach, more than Beethoven, more than Colin...

Stuck in the endless paradox her words had created in his head, Theo had frozen, his hands hovering above the piano keys as he comprehended her words.

"I'll play for you, Princess. Only for you..." Theo murmured, and as his fingers weaved patterns over the piano keys, he played a song that sung melodies about the future he hoped he would have with her, until she had fallen asleep in his arms.

He stayed firm by his promise. He held her tightly all night and didn't leave until she felt better.

In the morning, Theo woke up first, and she was the first sight that greeted his eyes the moment they opened.  

He had always found her fascinating, even back when they were kids. When she would fall asleep on the couch in Malfoy Manor after a tiring day of playing all day, Theo would always come to check on her until she would be carried to her own bed by Lucius.

She was so fucking pretty, so ethereal, so goddamn unreal...

She woke up with a smile on her face, her steely gray eyes flitting upwards to meet his the moment her slumber broke. 

"Good morning," she whispered softly, her voice soft and low as if she were afraid she would break the spell should she use her normal tone.

"Buon giorno, Principessa," Theo murmured, fingers delicately dancing across her skin, tracing the slope of her nose and brushing a strand of her hair away from her eyes. They were so close, the raw intimacy between them almost palpable. "Did you sleep well?" he whispered softly, face leaning closer to his as he nuzzled her neck..

She nodded, a blush spreading across her cheeks and nose, a small smile crossing her lips at the slightly ticklish feeling.

Theo was lucky, he was blessed by the Gods, he had gotten his wish— to wake up next to her just once in his lifetime. 

And for once, he held hope that perhaps, a year or two from now... he would spend every morning next to her, waking up by her side. 

He had known she was his endgame since he was three years old.

Ophelia had noticed he was staring, and her own hand had reached up to hold his jaw, dragging his attention back to her. "Did you sleep well?" she voiced his own question back at him.

"Better than I have in years," Theo murmured, burying his face in her neck and inhaling her sweet scent so she wouldn't see his expression.

By years he meant he hadn't slept this well since his mother's death.

His words only caused Ophelia to blush even darker than before, and she let out a squeal when she felt his teeth nip at the sensitive skin on her neck.

He pulled away from her neck, his dark blue eyes scanning every inch of her face, of how her silvery gray eyes sparkled as they basked in the glow of the morning sunlight that streamed into the windows.

"You're so fucking pretty," he murmured, kissing both her cheeks as he admired her perfect features, before moving his attention back to her neck, preferably going to mark it up— his favorite activity.  

Ophelia knew all too well what he was doing. She grabbed his shoulders, using little of her strength to lift him away from her neck. "No, no, you are not leaving any more marks on my neck, I'm running out of concealer.."

Theo grinned like the devil. "Who says you have to conceal them?"

Ophelia could only gape. "I'm... I'm not going to walk around with bruises—"

"They're called hickeys, sweetheart. Or love bites. Whatever you prefer," Theo interrupted her, catching her hands in his and lifting them over her head, away from where she could use them to interrupt him.

The blonde refused to use their actual name. "Well, I'm not going to display those as I walk around Hogwarts, people will think I'm..."

"A what?" Theo dared her to finish her sentence. "I don't see what the problem is, you've got concealer..."

"Yes, but I'm running out.." Ophelia brought her previous point back to the conversation.

"Bullshit," Theo remarked, scanning her neck as he looked for the perfect place to mark up. "You get a box from France every week owled to you..."

Ophelia knew Theo was right. 

"Now tell me, Principessa, what's the real reason you don't want me to leave my love bites all over your pretty neck, hmm?" 

The way he looked into her eyes, giving her all of his undivided attention, the way his lips were curled into a smirk that would make Satan himself jealous.

"Colin saw them, do you know that?" she confessed, her gaze soft and vulnerable as she divulged this precious piece of information to him. 

"Did he now?" Theo's smirk only widened. "How unfortunate... Was he jealous?"

Ophelia couldn't help but giggle at his shameless reaction, lightly tapping his shoulder for him to act serious. 

"He was," Ophelia replied, pushing him away from her so she could sit up and begin her day.

No more words were exchanged after that, as the pair put on their robes over their school uniforms.

Theo was tying his tie when Ophelia noticed his hip flask on the table, full of Firewhiskey. "Can I borrow this?" she asked him, holding up the small, pocketable flask.

Just by looking into her soft, vulnerable gray eyes, Theo nodded without thinking about the consequences of giving her his hip flask. He couldn't say no to her.

It was easier for Ophelia to cope with everything going on around her with the tiny flask of Firewhiskey by her side.

It was like the support she never knew she needed.

She had placed a refilling charm on it, and every time things would get a little tough, she'd take a little sip and everything was better.

And during her free time, all she would do was find a quiet place to listen to music and drink.

She was beginning to love the taste, to the point where she relied on it. She was beginning to gain more tolerance to the drink— to the point where she could drink a rather generous amount, yet still manage to maintain her sobriety when she should be drunk.

It was really a wonder how none of the professors seemed to notice this, especially because they were all normally so keen on checking all the students for any sort of indication that they could be cheating during the ongoing OWL exams.

The Gryffindor girl never actually brought the flask into the examination room, but the alcohol was always in her system, giving her the confidence and support that her friends and family had failed to give her.

Whenever she was alone, the blonde would drink her problems away, washing the weight of the world on her shoulders down with the burning liquid.

After the last OWL exam, which happened to be Theory of Charms, Ophelia celebrated the end of her exams by going to the Black Lake by herself with the little flask of whiskey she'd stolen from Theo.

That was how Luna Lovegood found her an hour later.

"Hello, Ophelia Malfoy," a dreamy voice interrupted her thoughts of self pity and loathing, and a girl with blonde hair almost exactly the same shade as her own sat beside her, wearing a bright yellow flower in her hair.

"You look like a Hufflepuff with that flower in your hair," Ophelia commented, the alcohol in her system only prompting her to openly voice her mind. "I think Hufflepuff would have suited you.."

"How were your OWLs?" Luna asked began to make conversation, "You've been looking rather sad these past several days... I came to ask if you're alright.."

On hearing Luna's words, Ophelia scoffed and emitted a sarcastic laugh. "No, Luna, everything's fucked up... I'm a fucking mess..."

Luna's eyes watched the flask in Ophelia's hand touch her lips when the Malfoy heiress took yet another sip. 

"Is that why you're drinking firewhiskey?" Luna hummed, taking the flask away from Ophelia's fingers. "Drinking doesn't make your problems go away..." she continued wisely. "Talking does help though..."

"I doubt anyone would want to listen to me," the blonde replied pitifully. "Apparently I'm too spoiled and selfish for anyone to think the better of me..."

"I don't think you're spoiled or selfish," Luna took Ophelia's hand in her own. "I think you're fierce and caring... And loving and kind..."

Yet another scoff left the blonde's lips. "The rest of Hogwarts says otherwise..."

Luna knew there was no point in going in this direction with Ophelia, so she changed her route by taking a different approach.

"What's the most important thing to you?" Luna asked her, her silvery-blue-gray eyes meeting Ophelia's gaze. 

No one had ever asked her such a question. It came so suddenly, so unexpectedly that she had no time to put up the walls and the façade that the alcohol had caused her to let down. All her vulnerabilities were fully on display, and now that she was faced with this question, she realized that she had never thought about these things, about what was important to her.

"My family," she replied, thinking about Lucius Malfoy, the once great man, Ophelia's hero, the man Ophelia never expected to fall and become useless behind bars. Her mother, once strong and proud, now reduced to a meek, silent woman, following the orders of her sister and the Dark Lord, afraid that if she would speak up, she would lose more than she had already lost. Her brother, forced to serve a monster before even reaching adulthood...

"Would you do anything to protect them?" Luna asked. 

Ophelia said nothing, the answer was obvious.

"I remember when Rita Skeeter wrote things about you and your family in the Daily Prophet," Luna reminded her. "And how you held your head high and crushed the rumors that everyone would have spread had you not convinced them it was fake. That isn't an easy thing to do..."

A tear slid down Ophelia's cheek. One of longing, one of pain, one of loneliness, because her heart suddenly clenched for her family. She yearned for her mother's embrace, and her bones ached just to see her father once, or receive a letter from him... 

And Ophelia began spilling her innermost secrets to Luna, how she had fallen in love with Colin, how she began dating Theo behind Draco's back, how she cheated on Theo, how she found out about Draco and Theo's fact... all of it. 

And for once, it felt great to let it off her chest.

She told Luna about how she had avoided Colin's kiss and how that made her a terrible person when he loved her so much, about how she felt guilty because she had allowed things to get to this point with him and even about how she was confused between Colin and Theo.

She divulged all her innermost thoughts, leaving no detail out. She told Luna she missed Blaise, and she told Luna it was her fault Draco had nearly died, and she told Luna about how she felt so lonely because all her friends and family were gone.

And Luna listened silently, until Ophelia was done talking. No interruptions, no expressions of surprise, nothing...

"Can I have my flask back now?" the blonde asked, once she was done telling the Ravenclaw witch everything.

Luna handed her Theo's flask.

"I think you're very brave," Luna hummed. "For going through all of this and still staying sane... The Sorting Hat was right to put you in Gryffindor."

Ophelia merely smiled as she glanced into her lap, a sad smile, as if she were thinking about the irony.

"I also think you're being too hard on yourself," Luna continued. "Do you think that perhaps you may have been convincing yourself you were in love with Colin because he was the first person at Hogwarts you allowed yourself to become vulnerable around?"

The glass around Ophelia shattered, and it was like a whole new world was open to her. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Luna was already continuing to speak her mind.

"You've always put up a tough exterior," the Lovegood witch observed. "So when you finally let your walls down and allowed someone to see the real you, I think you got vulnerable and convinced yourself that Colin was the only person capable of bringing out the real you because he's the love of your life..."

"The truth is, you were so lonely that if it had been anyone else, you would have done the same... Us humans aren't made to be lonely, we're made to laugh and love."

"But—" Ophelia cut Luna off again, only to keep quiet when Luna continued speaking.

"I think loving Colin was convenient for you, and you didn't realize it, but you became infatuated with him, convincing yourself that he's the love of your life... And when Theo came along, you got confused, still trying to convince yourself that you love Colin. Perhaps that was why you had them both at the same time, trying to figure out which one is real and which one is fake."

The Malfoy heiress was still silent, deep in thought as she began recalling all her memories, her past experiences with both Colin and Theo and even the way she had been trying to compare the two.

"But how come when Theo told me he loved me, I couldn't say it back?" Ophelia whispered hoarsely. "And I easily told Colin I loved him the very same day..."

Luna smiled knowingly. "I think you were scared Theo would return to his old self once you said it back, so you refused to get close to him. Perhaps you were even scared to get vulnerable around him, because you were afraid he would go back to being the boy who had hurt you during the first few years of Hogwarts."

It seemed to click into place. It was like clockwork. All of Ophelia's actions lined up perfectly with her subconscious thoughts.

"And I think you love Colin, but not romantically. I think you love him as a friend. Platonically. That's why it was so easy for you to tell him you loved him... And you'd kiss him just trying to convince yourself there's a spark..."

"His kisses were never like Theo's" Ophelia admitted. "Theo makes me forget about everything..."

"See, there we go!" Luna beamed. "All you have to do sometimes, is sit down and sort out your thoughts and feelings.."

The Malfoy heiress had never seen her thoughts in this much clarity. She always considered herself fucked up and too far gone to know what to do or how to sort out the mess of her life she had made. Now, everything seemed so obvious.

"You're very wise," Ophelia slurred, the alcohol getting to her. "You should become a therapist.."

Luna's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. "Thank you, Ophelia Malfoy. I think you're very kind to say that."

Though Ophelia did consider the Ravenclaw witch a friend, she had never been so grateful to have Luna in her life until now.

"But what if some part of me did love Colin romantically, even for a little bit?" Ophelia found herself asking, because she was one hundred percent sure that at some point in her life, she well and truly did love Colin.

Luna gave her a knowing smile, one that seemed to give Ophelia the notion that Luna had known she would ask this question.

"Do you know what the difference is, between the love of your life, and your soulmate?" Luna asked. "The first is a choice, the second is not."

"So you think Theo is my soulmate?" Ophelia asked softly, her heart filled with intense flutters at the thought of calling Theo her soulmate.

Luna smiled again. "A muggle once said that if you ever find yourself loving two people at the same time, you should choose the second one, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second..."

Truer words had never been spoken, because Ophelia was suddenly smiling like Christmas had come early.

"I believe in soulmates," Luna replied. "I believe that every human being has one person that is written down for them in the stars even before they're born... I think you've loved Theodore Nott since you were born, and all it took was for you to realize it... And once you find your soulmate, you become unstoppable."

"I should tell him," Ophelia suddenly decided, standing up abruptly and swaying slightly, nearly toppling over as dizziness took over. 

"You should," Luna agreed. "Because you'll never know when's the last time you see someone... Especially at a time like this... Every moment is precious..."

"Live without regrets," Ophelia repeated the motto she had learnt from Pansy. 

But now is when she realized that living without regrets didn't mean just doing what was easy and fun. 

Living without regrets was also doing what was difficult and painful, such as fixing her relationship with Draco and telling Colin that Theo was her soulmate...

"I think you've got it all sorted out now," Luna stood up, patting Ophelia's shoulder with a small smile. Before she left, she issued the parting words, "You'll be alright now."

Ophelia took another few sips of the firewhiskey, leaning against the trunk of the tree she had been sitting under.

She was drunk out of her mind, and her vision had never been this blurry, yet everything was clearer than it had been in a while.

The monocarpic flowers in the garden of her heart had left offspring— tiny shoots peeking through the soil.

It was at this point that Ophelia realized that this was the lifecycle of such plants. They die, and leave new ones in their place.

And now, Ophelia knew that the flowers of this plant would bloom into a beautiful relationship. Not one of romance, but one of friendship.

Live without regrets was still her motto, but now, she had a new way of looking at it. 

Perspective. 

That's all it was, and all it took.

For Ophelia Malfoy to change the way she thought and the way she looked at the world.

{ hey guys, here's another update.. i know it's a bit late, but it took me a while to go through it and write is, especially since it's been a while since i've uploaded a chapter this long...
i hope you enjoy it, it's one of my favorite chapters to write.
some of you may be happy with it, some of you may dislike it, but that's what good books do. they make you feel something...
anyway.. i hope you guys enjoyed this. please, please comment, vote and follow. i've put a lot of time into this chapter, so i would greatly appreciate your comments.
also please do give me your feedback and don't forget to vote. to unlock the next chapter, i'll need 150 votes. thank you :))
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anyway. lot's of love, jasmine.
xoxo }

{ NOV 10. 2024 }