chapter one

─── family gatherings

          𝕷ong before we had come to live in this house, snow had been one of my greatest fears. It was cold and there had been stories of how quickly it could kill you if you were left alone in it. Ever since I was small, the fear of being alone in the snow, of dying a cold and shivering death, was the thing that had kept me up for hours in the winter months.

Now, snow was not so much a fear, but more an annoyance. I had learnt to warm myself before I went out, what to wear and the like. Now, it just dampened my hands and clothes, it got caught in my hair and it would prevent me from leaving the home.

This winter the snow had settled across the plains of our home, thick drifts piling up against the walls that kept us safe. Most of the trees were bare, the flowers dying in their beds and only a few hardy vegetables grew in the sparse patch that the cook kept.

The windows rattled in the house at every blast of winter wind, and it was hard to differentiate between night and day with the clouds hanging so low in the sky. Winter was a bleak time.

Leaning back into the window seat, I tugged the thick wool shawl around my shoulders further, shivering at the chill that ran through the house. The fire did little to curb this. I huffed, stretching my fingers to get the blood flowing, before turning back to the book in my hands. It was on nothing of importance, or of interests, but the family library was small and lacked quality or quantity. So, I was stuck reading about trading routes.

I wanted to read something more exciting, something like an adventure book of some sort. Something where they travelled to distant lands, or met new people. The community that we had been a part of our entire lives had yet to satisfy me, I longed for something new. 

My eldest sister, Nesta, never did like the thought of adventures, far too protective to let that happen. She watched my sister and I like a hawk, sharp eyes and ears listening in to eavesdrop on any sort of discontent that might spring from our lips. Of course, Elain never did complain. Perfect Elain was always the good sibling, keeping herself busy with gardening or decorating the house, or something as any good wife would do. That was all she ever seemed to be training to do.

For a while, our younger sister had been the haggler of the house, the troublemaker, and I had merely been the middle child. But now, Feyre was away at our aunt's house, and I was now the go to sister for Nesta to command.

"Aimee!" Pausing, I turned to look at the study door, listening to the call of my name. "Elain needs help in the garden."

"I am reading." I called back, not tearing my eyes from the boring page in front of me. Curling my legs further beneath me, I pretended to read through the paragraphs as the door to Father's study was flung open. Nesta appeared, not looking too thrilled with me. 

Like me, she was in a thick dress, her hair pulled back from her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her disappointment in my refusal to help Elain evident. But Elain's plants were half dead and she was struggling to keep them alive, so I did not see the point in helping her with her failed experiment. Nesta folded her arms over her chest, her thin lips twisting into a displeasured scowl as she glared.

I cocked my eyebrow, not in the mood for an argument. It was too cold for any of that.

"Get up and help your sister."

"No. I am busy and those plants are dead anywhere." I protested, shooting a withering look at the snow outside. Nesta knew that I did not like snow, so why was she attempting to make me go outside? "You help her."

"Do not argue with me."

"Then stop acting like father." I stood, throwing the book back onto the desk and shaking my head. "I don't want to help her with her stupid plants, they're all dead. What's the point?"

Nesta glared.

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Because I said so." Nesta snapped back as I brushed past her and out of the door. "Garden, Aimee, now!"

"Fine, fine." I agreed, before groaning at the prospect of being forced to go outside and help with the dying flowers. Thundering down the stairs, I continued to ignore Nesta's screeches of annoyance as I pulled a cloak on and hurried into the garden. 

The wind was even more biting outside, nipping at my nose and cheeks until they turned red. My teeth were already chattering, and the ground was almost too slippery to walk on, yet still my younger sister sat outside to tend to the plants that were sheltered from the wind. I truly hated the snow, and the cold.

"Aimee! You came to help." I shot the dying plants an annoyed look. If they had just died, then I wouldn't be forced into going outside. I needed them to die. Perhaps I would come outside and pull them up by the roots later that evening when Elain was in bed.

"Yes." Elain beamed at the thought of me helping, motioning for me to crouch beside her as I glanced back at the inviting house, with it's glowing windows. Warmth emanated for it, yet here I was, stuck outside, in the cold. "What do you need me to do, Elain?"

"Can you help me move the pot into the shed?" She questioned, as I leant down to pick the pot up and walk it to the shed. "Thank you! I did not think that I would manage to do it by myself."

What Elain meant to say was that moving a pot was far below her station as a true lady, and that I would be better suited to it as I was not as much of a lady as she was. Elain liked to remind me of that often enough. It truly got on my nerves.

Whilst it was true that I was a lady in some regards, more so than my sister Feyre, who used to hunt and chop woods and the like (incredibly improper for a lady), I was nothing like Elain. I knew language, and could play the piano forte well enough, but it was not nearly as good as Elain or Nesta. I was never good enough for either of those two.

However, I could paint and create. Far better than them, and nearly better than Feyre as well if I continued to practice. It was a talent of mine that I enjoyed far more than reading, or learning, and it provided me with enough moments of peace so that I did not have to listen to either of my sisters shrieking in my ear. 

I loved them, truly I did. But being stuck in the same, confined space as them for months on end was starting to bring me more pain than joy.

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"Thank you for helping your sister." Nesta called, curled up by the fire as I kicked the snow from my boots and glared at the back of her head. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"Next time, I will not. It will be you." I spat, shaking my head in annoyance. I knew that she was the eldest, that she was worried about our father and Feyre, but I wasn't going to be ordered around. "Those plants will die."

"Don't say that."

"Elain is not in earshot and why should I hide my thoughts? It is winter and they are dying." 

"She planted them for us." Nesta hissed in response, spinning to look at me. "One for me, one for you and one for Feyre. If they die, she fears that one of us will die!"

"It is winter. How does she expect to keep them alive?" I rolled my eyes. Nesta coddled Elain too much, allowing her to be as childish as she wished to whilst the rest of us had to remain as realists. "It is foolish of you to keep feeding into her superstition. She needs to grow up and start realising that there are real life consequences."

"Let her be a child."

"She is twenty-one. She is an adult." As the two eldest daughters, this was a common argument between myself and Nesta. I believed that Nesta babied Elain, and she believed that I was too harsh on her. "Stop treating her like she is twelve. For goodness sake, she is engaged."

"Stop it!" Nesta stood, stepping towards me as we glared at one another. "We will not speak anymore on this topic."

"Yes, we will." I rubbed at the bridge of my nose. "Nesta, she is not a child. We do not need to protect her, or else she will never learn. You have to let her grow up, Nesta."

"I don't want her to lose her innocence." Nesta shook her head. "We are more than mature enough for all three of us."

"We shouldn't have to be." I waved my hand, dismissing the conversation. "We'll speak on this later. I need to warm up, since you left me outside in the freezing cold."

"You're being dramatic."

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Hiya,

So, first chapter of Bleeding Love and we're meeting Aimee who is in between Nesta and Elain. The relationship is going to be a fun one, and I really do love Aimee, so I'm hyped for this book.

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx