Song: Fall

Album: Believe

Rating: [PG-13]

Special appearances by: [none]

Details: Justin is not famous.

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[ Justin's POV: ]

I shot my eyes open only to see that my room was dark, the only source of light illuminating the house was coming from the moon visible outside my window. I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my eyes before checking the time on my phone.

4:09am.

Oh great.

I looked around me, confused as to what it was that could’ve awakened me. That’s when I heard it again. The doorbell from downstairs ran shivers down my spine and I let out a deep breath, finally realizing how cold it actually was.

Sliding my feet over the bed, my heart began pumping faster and faster, wondering who in the world would visit me at this late hour. Nevertheless, I stood up and grabbed the sweater I remember throwing to the floor last night because I was so tired and I just wanted to fall into my bed and never get up. After putting on the cozy sweater, I stumbled quietly downstairs, my mind still half asleep as I approached the front door.

Looking through the peephole, I was relieved to see it was only Ashley, who stood impatiently as she waited for me to open the door. I rubbed my hands together before gripping the doorknob into my left hand, turning it until it let me pull it open.

“Ash,” I breathed out, stepping aside to let her in. “It’s cold, why’d you make the trip to come all the way over here at four in the morning?”

She stormed inside and I shut the door, now wide awake as I turned to face her while she crashed on my couch.

“I needed air,” she muttered.

“Cold air?” I said strictly. “You mean you needed cold air? ‘Cause that’s all you’d get outside in this weather.”

“Justin, shut up and be a best friend right now, okay?” she looked me straight in the eyes, tears watering on the surface. My heart dropped and I slowly made my way over to her, plopping my body down beside her on the couch.

“What did he do now?” I whispered, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and cuddling her into my chest. My breathing hitched as I realized I just set myself up for a trap having her this close to me, knowing it drives me insane. I know it’s wrong to feel the way I do about Ashley… I mean, she’s my best friend. But my heart keeps telling me that it doesn’t want to be best friends, and I know it. I want to be something way more than that.

“He-…” she trailed off, a tear sliding down her cheek as her entire body began to shake. I pulled away slightly, taking off my sweater and throwing it across Ashley so that it completely covered her from the cold.

“I’m here,” I whispered, brushing a strand of hair over her ear. “You can trust me.”

“I know I can,” she mumbled, shyly looking into my eyes. “Why do you think I came here, of all places?”

I bit my lip, my heart strings pulling violently inside of me. “What did he do?” I repeated.

One by one, the tears continued to roll down her face, the silence between the two of us unbearable as I wiped at her cheeks to clear it of the watery substance.

“Ashley-”

“-He cheated on me,” she blurted out, hesitantly looking up at me. “He had sex with another girl.”

My eyes nearly bolted out of their sockets. “He did what?!”

“You heard me,” she mumbled, her face going blank as the tears continued.

“H-How… How did you find out?” I asked curiously. “Did he tell you himself?”

“Somewhat,” she played nervously with her fingers. “I was staying over at his house before I came here and we were in his room… making out.”

My heart cringed at the thought of Ashley making out with someone that wasn’t me—even though we’ve never even locked lips with each other. But, god, how I really want to kiss her.

“A-And?” I stuttered.

“And a while later, he suggested to get us some drinks so I agreed,” she paused. “But while he was gone, his phone beeped… He got a text.”

“From who?”

“Some slut. The bitch he had sex with,” she scoffed. “It said how she missed him and shit like that so I decided to confront him about it. The minute I mentioned it, his facial expression just screamed he was guilty, and I knew it. We had a fight and I ran home but later, when I wasn’t getting any sleep, I decided to come here. So… I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“It’s alright, Ash. But you have to listen to me,” I soothed comfortingly. “Jake is the biggest jerk in the entire universe. I honestly don’t even know why you’re giving him so many chances! He’s broken your heart one, too many times and I don’t know if you forgot about this but he’s slapped you once… I’m the only person you ever told that to. Ashley, he may have apologized for that, but it doesn’t make him innocent.”

She cried harder into my chest before shaking her head. “I don’t know… I thought I loved him. I thought I could work through it because love deserves more than one second chance. I just don’t know anymore, Justin.”

“I’ve confronted him about the way he’s been treating you,” I whispered. “I warned him that it won’t end well if he kept at it.”

“And I love you for being so protective,” she squeezed me tighter, sending shocks throughout me.

All I heard in that sentence was the simple I love you.

“I love you, too,” I blurted out, without thinking twice about what I just said.

“What?” she pulled away, confusion spreading across her face.

“Nothing,” I cleared my throat, the pain in my heart excruciating. I can’t keep on like this. It’s killing me to lie to her face and act like I don’t love her, because I do.

She eyed me carefully before dismissing the subject. “Justin… Can I please sleep over?” she begged with puppy eyes.

I immediately looked away, knowing that those eyes not only worked on me, I was in love with them and the rest of her.

“Anytime and you know that,” I spoke gently, playing with the tip of my shirt.

“Thanks,” she smiled, her voice going soft. “And just so you know… I finally did it.”

I flickered my gaze back to her. “Did what?”

“I broke up with him. It’s about time, too,” she gulped.

I fought back the urge to smile. “You’ll be happier this way, trust me,” I stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll make us some tea. You just sit there and get yourself comfortable.”

“Okay. I’ll be sleeping here anyway,” she shrugged, and my eyes widened.

“On the couch?! Are you crazy?” I scolded. “You’ll be sleeping in my bed. Meanwhile, I think I can handle one night on the couch.

She pouted, bringing her legs up before wrapping her arms around them. “Why don’t we just both sleep on your bed? We’d both be comfortable.”

I felt my cheeks heat up and I scratched the back of my head. How in the world am I going to survive sleeping with her whilst hiding my feelings for her? What am I to do? I already know I’ll have the urge to wrap my arms around her from behind and cuddle her to my chest, but is that going too far?

“I.. I don’t know,” my voice shook.

“Why?” she smiled lightly. “I don’t have a contagious disease, I promise.”

I let out a small chuckle before looking at her. “Does that mean you have a disease? Just that it’s not contagious?”

“No, I’m clean,” she laughed. “I’m pretty sure Jake doesn’t have STD’s, no matter how much of a player he is.”

My heart sank and I lowered my head in disappointment. That one sentence just confirmed that she and Jake had, had sex before… probably more than once.

“Yeah…” I whispered awkwardly, my insides telling me to just tell her the truth. To scream that I really do love her and get it over with, even if she might not feel the same way. “Why don’t you go on upstairs to my room and wait for me? I’ll have tea ready for us by the time I get there.”

Her lips shut into a thin line as she blinked incredulously at me. “Do… You need help with the tea?”

“No,” I quickly replied. “I got it.”

“Okay..” she said slowly, standing up and adjusting my sweater on her before taking small steps towards the stairs. I watched her retreating figure as she soon disappeared up the stairs.

Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I proceeded to the kitchen to prepare us the two cups of tea. I approached the kitchen counter and slammed two fists at the top, cursing under my breath.

“I love you,” I whispered, testing how the words sounded like out loud, in case I were to tell her tonight. “I love you,” I said in a different tone—a more sincere one. “I love you,” I repeated, this time a bit more blankly, lacking emotion. “I love you,” I said one more time, sounding desperate.

I slammed my fists into the kitchen counter again, frustrated at myself. Why was it so hard for me to say three simple words? It’s just three little words that mean the world to me.

I sighed, feeling tears crawl down my cheeks as I wiped them off immediately, urging myself to stop crying so that Ashley wouldn’t go asking questions when I got up there.

I looked at the ceiling helplessly, a million thoughts running through my head before I pulled out my phone, fumbling into the settings and changing it so that my number would be a blocked I.D, otherwise known as anonymous. I pulled up the messaging app and tapped Ashley’s number, my fingers scanning the keyboard as I typed in the words that I’ve yet to say.

To: Ashley

From: Unknown Number

Message:

I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long while. They may just be a few words, but it means everything to me.. You mean everything to me, and.. I love you.

- Anonymous

I know it probably wasn’t the best way to get it out of my system, but at least it’s out there. She may not figure out if it was me or not, but I’m clearly not ready to tell her face to face, as much as I want to. Maybe I’ll end up telling her one day, and maybe I’ll let her slip from my fingers before I can even process the fact that she is, and never will be, mine to keep.

I guess that’s just the way it is when you fall completely in love. But what’s it going to take to get her to fall with me?

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Well… that’s “Fall” for ya!

What’d you guys think? :)

- Nina xx