Have you ever felt like you're nothing but an empty shell of what used to be human, walking around with no specific purpose in life? If you have, then you're not alone. Because that's the same dilemma I'm currently battling with at the moment. However, as surprising as it may be to most, it isn't as miserable or ominous as it sounds. At least, for me it isn't. I don't know how to explain it in exact words.

It's sort of confusing and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it yet.

Lately, I've been feeling completely and hopelessly lost. My sense of direction doesn't seem to be functioning properly anymore. I can't seem to differentiate which way is up or which way is down. Where is east? How about west? Do I make a right? Or should I take a left? It's safe to assume that I haven't been myself; even I've noticed my peculiar behavior.

My mind has been restless, and per usual, it has to do with a particular boy with a pale complexion and a head full of dark brown locks. I'd be lying if I said Noah hasn't been occupying my thoughts, because he has been, a lot too actually.

Yeah, I sound like one of those confused, teenaged girls you can't help but get frustrated with in those cliché, romance movies, but it's not my fault. Emotions aren't black and white. They're a little more complicated than that. If you don't agree, please realize that not everyone's the same. We're all entitled to our own opinions and this is mine. Feelings are a fickle subject to touch upon and sometimes, I wish I didn't have any. Life would be a tad bit dull without them, but simultaneously, it would also be easier.

As I hop off the bus, recklessly enough, I cross the street without checking if any cars are around. Sorry Seymour the Safety Seal. My thoughtless actions, thankfully, does not have severe consequences. I hear the screeching of tires and soon after, my ears are deafened by a loud honk. I jump up, clearly frazzled. The driver, a woman whose lips are smeared with neon-green lipstick, sticks her head out of the window, spewing a string of profanities at me. Quickly, I duck my head down as a small form of apology before I scurry across to the other side of the road.

"Rory, what's wrong with you? I saw that," Maria appears out of nowhere and I let out a small shriek this time. Her thick brows come together as she purses her lips. "Yeah, something's definitely going on. Spill it."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," I confess as my nerves settle back down. The two of us walk across the plaza towards the entrance of the school. Other students are hanging around outside, and a few people even greet us with waves and smiles. "It's about Noah," I mutter, the grip on my backpack straps tightening.

Maria immediately halts in her tracks, as if she's been struck with Gru's infamous freeze ray. "It's about who?" she balks, her jaw slacked open. I totally saw this coming from a mile away. But hey, it's a hundred times better than the response I would receive from Peyton.

Knowing her, she'd probably scream until her lungs ruptured. And Luna? Don't even get me started on that girl. She'd probably skin me alive if she found out about the forbidden events that have ensued between me and her so-called future husband. How am I supposed to break the news to her?

"You heard me the first time." I keep moving and wait for her to catch up to me. She does.

"I knew it." Maria snaps her fingers and nods assertively. I swallow, waiting for her to continue. Is it that obvious? "He's an undercover spy, isn't he?" I can tell she's trying her best not to die from the excitement and I shake my head in disbelief.

"You really need to get your nose out of those books you're always buried in and get out into the real world," I say with an amused smile. "You do realize how ridiculous that sounds, don't you?"

"Hey, a girl can dream can't she? But seriously. What about him? Do you not like him or something?"

My eyes round and I turn to look at her. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know." Maria shrugs. "You haven't been eating lunch with us recently. So we kind of figured something was going on. We're not blind." I quirk an eyebrow at her and she instantly understands what I'm trying to say. "I have my contacts on, okay? Now, are you going to tell me why you're thinking about Noah or am I going to have to tickle you to get the answer?"

We enter the building and I glance around to make sure there are no familiar faces lingering around. Next, I guide her to one of the corners. Just to be on the safe side, I double-check the area. Okay, the coast is clear. "Noah told me he likes me," I whisper hastily. I could feel the heat beginning to rise to my cheeks and I curse under my breath. This is not the appropriate time to be blushing like this. Maria doesn't utter a single word and I wave my hand in front of her face. "Did you hear me?" I ask.

She bobs her head up and down slowly, her mouth slightly ajar. "Well, are you going to say something?" I mutter.

"Yeah," she breathes. "Luna's going to transform into Godzilla when she finds out."

I shudder at the thought. "Please don't remind me. Just promise me you won't mention this to anyone until I figure out what's going on."

"I won't," she assures and I believe her. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" I blink.

"Are your feelings mutual?" she questions candidly. It's my turn to be left speechless as I stand there, unable to give her a coherent answer. How come that never crossed my mind? Do I like Noah? Well, I don't really hate him. Wow, this is a very tough question for me to tackle right now. Truthfully, I don't know what I feel towards him.

I can't tell if this is just a spur of the moment thing, or if my feelings for him are actually genuine and authentic. I can't stop thinking about the kiss we shared, the words he uttered. My heart is beckoning me to trust him, but my brain is urging me to run as far as I can away while I still have the chance to.

Before I could say another word, the bell sounds. Maria and I part ways and embark towards our respective homerooms. Absentmindedly, I stare at the checkered tiles on the floor and mumble to myself, "I like him. I don't like him. I like him. I don't like him." By the time I reach Mrs. Tsui's class, the words "I don't like him," slip out. If only it was that simple.

As normal, I take my seat at the far end of the room and wait for the morning announcements to be made. Suddenly, someone taps my shoulder and I brush my troublesome thoughts aside. I spin around and send a closed-mouth smile to the only person who would bother me this early. "Did you do the history homework?" Harry Walker, the most lazy person I've ever had the misfortune of encountering, inquiries with hopeful eyes.

"I did." I always do and I'm pretty sure he is well aware of that fact, too. Why do we have to be in the same class... again? I can barely tolerate spending my mornings with him and we're in the room for less than ten minutes!

"Awesome," he cheers as he relaxes into his chair. "Could I borrow it? I didn't have time to work on it. You know how busy us athletes can get." He tries to flash me what I presume to be a charming smile and I exhale deeply. I try my best not to roll my eyes and openly scoff in front of his face. We had an entire week to do this assignment.

I might have let this go in the past, but I'm getting sick and tired of his lack of effort, especially when it comes to his academics. If it wasn't for me, he probably would have been banned from staying on the football team. Shouldn't he know how to do his own work now?

"No, you can't," I declare firmly, holding my head up high, as if I'm daring him to challenge me.

"But—" he's interrupted by the voice of Neil Lincoln, the president of the senior class, and I thank the heavens for saving me.

"Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance," Neil mandates through the speaker, which is adjacent to the door. Almost everyone climbs to their feet, with the exception of a few people, and we listen to him recite the speech we've all heard well over a hundred times since we entered the public school system. After the typical announcements have been made, the bell rings again and I practically bolt out of the room.

So I'm not the best person when it comes to confrontational situations, but I got the job done, didn't I?

While making my journey towards my first class, a shoulder suddenly brushes up against mine. I glance to the right and nearly choke on my own saliva. Noah doesn't meet my gaze, though, and continues to walk alongside me in silence. What's he doing? Is this some kind of Jedi mind trick? I choose not to say anything either as I look straight ahead.

The nerves that have been tamed start to act out, causing my heart to race without warning. Why is he so close? I feel like I can't breathe sharing such a close (and let's not forget, intimate) proximity with him.

Is he going to talk to me or what? I reach my destination, and Noah still hasn't spoken to me. I guess I got my answer. A feeling of disappointment takes hold of me and with my head hanging low, I turn into my class. Before I could cross the threshold, however, long and slender fingers curl around my wrist, stopping me from advancing forward.

I collide into a firm and solid chest and I don't even have to look up to realize whose embrace I'm in. His subtle cologne wafts into my nose as his arms slither around my body, holding me close to him.

"You look beautiful today. I'll see you at lunch," he whispers. And just like that, he disappears from my sight. What was that?

* * *

"Rory, are you going to eat your fries or what?"

I snap out of my thoughts and shift towards Peyton. "What was that?"

The corners of her lips etch downwards and she observes me with apprehensive eyes. "Are you looking for someone?" she presses.

Shoot! She must have noticed! I look at Maria for help, but she gives me an expression, which basically says I'm on my own. Great. This is just great. What am I supposed to say? A sheepish smile is all I could muster as I attempt to play dumb. "Me looking for someone? No, that's not it. I was uh—thinking about my tutoring session."

Thankfully, my plan worked and Peyton's attention is now geared towards my academic life. "You got a tutor? For what? Calculus?" she guesses.

I nod.

"Who's your tutor?" An imaginary cinderblock drops on my head and I mentally face-palm myself. Nice going, Rory. Even when I'm deliberately trying not to talk about Noah, I wind up talking about Noah. Seriously? I couldn't come up with another subject that isn't associated with the guy?

"I am." We all glance up and my breath quickens as I watch Noah plop down in front of me.

"You are?" Maria, Luna and Peyton chorus in synchronization.

He nods nonchalantly before his eyes settle on me. My three friends are also watching me, their expressions demanding an explanation. Right now, I want to crawl into a hole and hide there for the rest of my life. My eyes flit over to the boy, who seems undeterred, and I swear I see his lips pulling up into a wicked smile.

What are you up to, Noah Costa?

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Author's Thoughts: Newest update! Hope you guys enjoyed it :D Please vote and comment if you want to! I'd like to dedicate this chapter to ZahrinaHaitamin! Also, I think the song above is sooo Noah! Don't you think so?