O L I V I A

"Care to tell me how you know about the engagement," I asked my speechless Mother. "Because I sure as shit didn't tell you. I didn't tell Andrea, Matt, or the damn Doctor. So tell me, mother. Enlighten me as to how you magically know this information."

She shook her head subtly and refused to look me in the eye.

"First of all," she finally spoke. "You will watch your tone and your language with m--"

"I don't care!" I shouted. "I'm in my 20's and I can say what I damn well please! How...did you know? Huh? Did you see him?"

"I carried you for nine months-"

"Oh grow up!" I fumed. "You are keeping me from the man I love because you don't approve? I wonder how you're any different than the people out there in the world that feel its their job to dictate who can love who!"

"That's nonsense. You are my daughter and I've clearly seen how bad he is for you, Olivia Delaney. He's got you thinking about quitting college, he slept in your bedroom when you two visited even though I was clear that he was to sleep in your sister's room. Then he takes you on a cross-country joyride and you nearly get killed because of his poor choices in life and poor choices of friends. I don't care if you're 40, you are my child! You can do better! You deserve...so much more! I love you enough to try and protect you from that path you so-badly want to travel down. Now here you are sitting in that damn bed and being ungrateful!"

"Are you-"

"I'm not done," she shouted. "I did see him, yes. He tried to storm into the hospital the other day. I don't know how he figured out you were here, but he did. Security handled him no matter how much he fought."

"He fought to see me?" Tears quickly filled my eyes as I looked at my mother with disbelief. "Why can't you see how much he--"

"Anyway, Olivia. Your new apartment is being set up as we speak. I will pay the rent every month if and only if you return to school. No monkey business." She straightened out her blazer and fixed her hair a bit. She was done with this conversation, but I wasn't.

"Where...is Nate," I asked through clenched teeth.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably out running the streets again and not doing anything productive."

. . .

N A T E

A milky white cloud of smoke escaped my mouth and straight up into the air. Swazz was on the way from the airport to meet us. Kev and Big Mike were shooting pool. I wish I would've hung out with Big Mike more growing up, but his mother didn't like me much. Nowadays she's cool, she's learned more about me and isn't too harsh anymore. I remember coming over here to Big Mike's basement after school and just shootin' the breeze: music, good smoke, video games, & sports. Then I'd always have to be out before she got home. 

Because maybe, just maybe, if I hung out more with Mike & Kev instead of Foosh, Kalin & Myles, I wouldn't be in this situation. I would've still met Liv. Mike was the one who told me to make a profile on that dating website. So Andrea still would hit me up, the double date still would've happened, Andrea and I still wouldn't work out, and life would take its course with Liv like it should. Only this time, there wouldn't be any trouble. And who knows...maybe Foosh wouldn't die by my hand.

The whole Foosh thing...I kept pushing it to the back of my mind even though I knew I shouldn't. I don't like showing signs of trauma to anyone. I'm a strong individual and people view me as such; so I have to keep it that way.

"You good?" Kev asked me before it was his turn at the table. I didn't realize how spaced out I was and it wasn't even because of the smoke.

I only nodded at him before I looked down at my new phone. Liv didn't have any social media accounts so it was even harder to track her down. She couldn't call me if she tried since I have a new number. I overheard Mike on the phone, telling Swazz to let himself in and he finally showed up to greet us. It was good to see him and he hugged me tighter than he hugged everyone else. I hate when people feel sorry for me but I wasn't about to be a dick about it.

"How's it goin'," Swazz asked as he sat down on the couch with me.

"Shit," I shook my head.

"Still no luck, huh?"

"Not a damn bit." I took another long puff from the bowl and passed it to him, rubbing my face after. "Shit, I'm fucked up."

"I see," Swazz said, glancing over at the bottle of Henny. "So...you don't know where she is, you don't know-"

"I know where she is bro...she's at fuckin' Central. But I'm banned from seein' her 'cause her mom's a controlling bitch."

"So...you...send someone else in. Easy." He shrugged and I stared at him realizing another bright idea flew over my damn head.

. . .

My leg couldn't stop bouncing as I waited in the car for Swazz to return. I had written a note for him to give to Liv. If her mom was in the room, I didn't want the message to be compromised if he said it out loud. Therefore...the note.

I felt a little pathetic being eager to get back home just so I could look at her picture. I didn't think about all the ones in my old phone before I tossed it. But I prayed hard for the future so that we can just make new memories in my new phone. My heart was beating fast as Swazz made his way back to the car.

"Well?" I asked as he sat down in the driver's seat.

He shook his head...and I think my heart stopped for a bit. "She's gone. Discharged this morning."

"Did you ask where she went?" My hands trembled a little.

"Why would a hospital give out personal information, dude?" 

He started the car back up and I suddenly punched the dashboard out of rage.

"What the fuck," Swazz exclaimed. "This is a fuckin' rental and you want the airbags to shoot out, take it easy!"

My hands then became so limp that my phone dropped to the floor of the car and I didn't bother pick it up. I just crouched forward. Swazz patted me on the back but I don't know how he thought that was going to help. She was gone without a trace and out of my life until fate becomes merciful and brings her back to me. I was hitting nothing but dead ends and it hurt way worse than a fucking flesh or stab wound.

. . .

O L I V I A

Mom left for Pennsylvania as soon as I got settled into my new place. The hug I gave her was half-assed. I still loved her, of course. But what she did pissed me off beyond reason. Andrea was with us before she left for work and my mother kept egging her on to hook me up with a "proper suitor"...because we live in 19th century England, apparently. Andrea brought up the idea of having a housewarming party and I was less than enthused about it. My apartment can barely fit three people, how the hell would I fit an entire party into it? Nonetheless, I allowed it as long as she's the one doing the planning. I'll probably duck out into my room anyway to just drown my sorrows in my Game of Thrones books. Blood and swords sound more appealing.

The apartment was small and desolate. The walls weren't telling any stories since the complex was just built not too long ago. I kept walking around; opening and closing the fridge, sitting on the love seat in the living room, and sitting on my bed to stare out the window in silence. Then I decided to grab my keys and slowly ease my way downstairs to my car.

I hit up The Confectionery in hopes Lia was working today and she was. I needed a job and I didn't want to go back to the Bookstore.

"Oh my God, Liv!" She shouted gleefully from behind the counter. She skipped around hugging me and I sharply inhaled through my teeth.

"Easy, easy," I chuckled lightly. "I'm a little injured."

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing major, don't really wanna talk about it. But hey, I'm back in town and I was wondering if there were any open positions."

"Actually, we just let someone go last week so you're in luck, my dear."

She skipped back to behind the counter, handing me an application and a pen.

"In the meantime, I'll go get the manager," she smiled. "I think he's rounding out his conference call soon."

"Awesome, thank you."

I started filling out the application, having to pause every 5 minutes because Nate was mainly in the front of mind. For a moment it got hard to breathe and I put the pen down briefly to collect myself. I kept wondering where he was, if he was okay, and if he was trying to find me. I wanted my new phone to have my old number but the authorities wouldn't allow that. The sadness was taking over me because the last time I saw him, he was sobbing over me. I was slipping away and he had just shot his oldest friend out of self defense. He's gone through so much and I just wanted to hold him close.

After a few deep breaths I picked the pen back up. But when I happened to look up and out the glass windows, I saw him...I saw Nate. He was walking past with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground.

I dashed out the store, leaving behind my bag and dropping the pen on the floor. I nearly lost my balance and adrenaline rushed throughout my entire body, it almost hurt. The pain that stemmed from my wound, I ignored. My throat wouldn't allow me to say his name clearly so I ran a little faster to catch up. I grabbed his shoulder and swung him around...but it wasn't him. From the side and behind...this guy looked like him. He had a similar hat like one Nate owns and was wearing a plaid shirt.

But it wasn't him.

"Sorry," I said out of breath. "I thought...you were someone else."

The poor guy nodded and walked away and most likely thought I was crazy. This was when everything hurt the most including my wound. I needed to hurry and finish that application in order to get home and change the large bandage.

There were so many cars zooming past on the busy street on this hot day. I just so happened to look  out at a particular car that was blasting rap music and saw a very familiar face. All too familiar.

"Swazz?" I said to myself. "Swazz!" I shouted as loud as I could. But he didn't hear me one bit. The music was too loud and he was looking down at his phone as traffic was paused at the red light. I was desperate and willing to run across the street, but a herd of cars were coming. I tried jumping with my arms up to get his attention even though tears ran down my face from the excruciating pain. For all I know, I was breaking a couple stitches.

And then I saw a hand rise from the passenger side, passing a joint to him. Whoever's hand that was, they were reclined and I couldn't see a face. But I had the deepest feeling it was Nate. I was screaming and getting looks from strangers.

"Swazz! Please!" I yelled with all my might.

I took one step into the street, ready to dart across the second I got. But a stranger pulled me back, saving me from a speeding car. And then...it was too late. The light turned green for them and they were off. The last option I had to be reunited with the love of my life was all fucked.

My phone rang as I dragged myself back to The Confectionery, it was Andrea texting me.

ANDREA: Party is on for Friday! Invited some you know and some you don't. Loads of cuties, I got your back ;)

Do you now? Do you really have my back? Because then you'd know I don't want some random fucking guy.

I didn't bother text back.

. . .

N A T E

I was stuck in a daze of my own, staring up at the roof of the car.

"I wonder if she's as sad as I am," I said, turning the music down.

"I'm sure she is," Swazz said. He held out the joint to me but I refused, making him finish it off. "Nate turnin' down weed? What's this world comin' to?"

Big Mike called me and I ignored it...then he called again.

"Yo," I said.

"I have the cure for the blues, dude. This Friday, we're crashin' a party. A friend of Kev's was invited by some girl, you down?" Mike was trying his best but the last thing I felt like doing was partying.

"I think I'll sit this one out."

"Nate...you need to get out of this funk. How do you expect to find Liv if you don't leave the house much?"

I scoffed, holding back the next wave of sadness trying to hit me. "I know...and I don't. Because I give up."