Breanna

It's been two almost three months since that night. I slowly recall it but I don't remember every detail. Like it makes me mad and I feel like the biggest hoe. I was so stressed with finals I'm so glad it's over so my period can start. It's been like that since I was teen as long as I'm stressed out my period says search for me bihhhh, lol. I have an appointment because my period still hasn't come. I just need to make sure I'm OK before their next show in California. As I walk I see Aug coming out his room with the Bitch attached at his hip.

She smirks at me and he just mugs and keeps walking down stairs. I'm so hurt. He really chose her over me. We blood me family and for once in my life he treats me like I'm not shit but a distant cousin. I felt my eyes water but Tyga came from down the hall and saw my face. He walked up to me

"sis, what's wrong? Please tell me? " then he heard me sniffle as I shook my head no
"It's nothing " I tried to lie but he cut me off
"Don't lie, was it August or the bitch? " he ask and I hear the coldness in his voice
"Just let it go. I have to go and I don't want any more fighting. I feel like we falling apart and he hates me because of her" I saying crying into his chest harder

He just rubbed my back and held me. Five minutes later I got myself together and left without being grilled but August and Ty were muffin each other. Hopefully this appointment doesn't last long so I can at least be home to stop them if something happens.

I arrive at my doctors office and park. I walk in and sign in and have a seat. It's not too full which I'm happy for. They finally call my name after 30 minutes and I walk through the door and they take my weight and I've gained 7lbs. I try not to cry and make up in my mind d not to eat for two days and it will go away. I then go into the lab room where they draw blood and such.

It's my annual so I'm not alarmed by the process. I then go pee in a cup and they show me a room and tell me to out on a paper gown that opens in the front. I see they have all the pap smear things set up and I instantly want to go home. If it's anything I hate it's that damn pussy clamp and the brush thing I mean I'm alive that shit hurts. The doctor finally walls in.

"Hello Breanna how you feeling today?" Dr Bella asked
"I'm not sure" I said
"Well tell me what's up. " She says she makes me feel so comfortable
"OK so. My stress level has been kinda up there, I know, family stuff. And my period is missing" I said playing with my hands.
"OK we have a few options. We can do birth control to try and regulate your period. Because we have had this issues before. And we can figure out how you can handle situations better. But before we talk more about it let me exam you. Lay back for me" she said and the part I dread comes

She did the normal breast exam and it hurt. That's a first. Then she pushed around my pelvic area and then she pulled my feet in the sterups and I was spread eagle to the gods. I felt her insert the specturm but I call it a pussy clamp and let me let y'all that shit hurts but not as bad. But of course that's because he was blessed. Moving on I felt the brush on my cervix. When she was down she wiped me down and I got dressed while she closed the containers and labeled them. As she finished the nurse came in and passed her what I'm guessing is my file. She sat down and read it as I sat on the bed and waited for her to speak.

"OK your blood pressure was high, are you nervous? " she asked
"Yes ma'am " I said truthfully
"have you been sexually active? " I swallowed hard and my heart began to race
"Um, yes one time. That's it I promise " I said ashamed
"Well, it looks like I found the problem. You're pregnant. Pull your bottoms off again and lay down for me. " I did as told with tears in my eyes. I didn't expect this to happen. What am I going to do?

As I was laying down a nurse came in with a machine and I later found out that was an ultrasound machine. As I heard the heartbeat and say a Lil baby float she told me I was 13 weeks. 13 weeks. I remembered a research paper I did before. And it says in most states you have 14-16 weeks to have an abortion. After hearing those words I was walking in a daze. Somehow I made an appointment and when I focused I was in the car.

How I got there I really can't tell you. I pulled out the parking lot still thinking with tears running down my face. I found myself driving and pulling into the parking lot of an abortion clinic. Once parking I sat there looking at the building. As I was sobbing there was a knock on my window. It was a lil old lady that reminded me of my grandma.
I rolled my window down.

"Baby, if it hurts this much before you do then God letting you not to do it at all. You gone be alright. But if you do it you will regret for yo entire life. I know. O was once young and afraid and made a mistake." she said what I needed to hear.

I got out the car and hugged her and cried on her shoulder wishing my mama was still alive. I so needed her right now. I thanked her hugged her once more and then got in my car and drove off. I ended up at the cemetery of my parents and God parents. I stood before them before I fell to my knees crying and begging for their forgiveness. How I wish o could see my daddy made and have my mama and Godmom cuss me out but hug and love me all at the same time.

By the time I settled and finished talking to my parents about the baby and me and August it was almost dark. I got up and dusted myself off and headed back toy car and back home. When I pulled up no one was down stairs so I walked up stairs and walked into my room to see August sitting on my bed. I was shocked. Why is he in here anyway.

"Yo ass been gone a minute. And you ain't ansa your phone. But I see you straight, I'm out" he said about to walk.
" Aug, please I need you?" I said feeling lost
"What the hell you want Bree, I really don't have shit to say to you. That's why I haven't said anything in a weeks" August said angry
"Please, boobear." I said on the verge of tears he finally turned away from the door and looked at me and his face softened.
"Bree, what's wrong tell me? Please. No matter how much we fight I'm your brother and I'm here. Tell me what's wrong" he said with panic in his voice

I couldn't do anything but cry. I was scared. I wouldn't kill my child but it was no way I was saying who, what, when, and where? Not now at least. I just needed my brothers. And like clock work Micheal walked in.

" whose ass I gotta kick?" He shouted
"Nigga hush, damn. Don't you see me outchea tryna find out?" August shot back
"I'm, I'm pregnant " I whispered
"Who bebe is it?" August asked me
"He will only deny it. He probably doesn't even remember we were drunk" I said feeling ashamed

This can't be happening to me. I thought to myself

"Please guys don't say anything I'm fat so people won't even know for a while" I say with pleading eyes
"Ima still keep my eyes open, ion give a fuck" Micheal said
"I'm with you and when you ready, we telling this fuck nigga together. Understand ?"

I simply nodded my head as I laid down in my bed holding on to August for dear life as Tyga came and laid on the other side rubbing my arm and holding my free hand. Then Chris came in.

"Oh God, y'all found her? She OK? " he said in a panic
"Yeah man, she good. Let her rest we will tell you later. Bree go to sleep " Tyga said

Chris came and laid at the foot of my bed rubbing my feet. He asked did I was OK. I was crying silently still in August chest so I just moved my head as I drifted off to sleep. We all have to pack tomorrow to head to the airport for California but it seemed the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

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Hello my beautiful butterflies. I do apologize for my absence. O have dealing with life and morning sickness but I'm shaking back so here you go.

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Love you all. Thanks for the love and support

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