TW- Eating Disorder, Vomiting, Self Deprecation, Slight Panic, Mentions of Abuse

The beeping of the kitchen timer mixed with the smell of fresh cookies woke Logan from his all too short nap. He opened his eyes slowly, smiling when he looked down and saw Virgil wrapped around him.  Logan slowly shook Virgil awake. "Mm I wanna sleep," Virgil mumbled. "Come on, Virge, you should probably eat something, then you can go back to sleep." Virgil just grumbled and tightened his grip on Logan. "There's warm cookies in the kitchen if you get up," Logan smirked. Virgil sat up immediately, rubbing his eyes. Logan chuckled, causing Virgil to playfully glare at him. The pair stood up and Logan pulled a still half asleep Virgil into the kitchen. "You can sit at the table, I'll make you some dinner, okay?" Virgil nodded and sat at the table, leaning his head on his arm. "You two were out like a light! Logan jumped harshly, having failed to notice the other two in the kitchen. Patton giggled at his friend. "Sorry, Lo! I thought ya saw us when ya come in!" Logan smiled softly and shook his head. "Well, we have some pasta left from dinner if you two want something to eat," Roman offered. "Thank you, Ro," Logan replied. Logan grabbed a plate and piled on some pasta, heating it in the microwave. When it was finished, he pulled out the plate and put two cookies on it. Patton and Roman both had a hopeful and proud look on their face. Their expressions dropped quickly when Logan placed the plate in front of Virgil, telling him to eat. "Logan, may I speak to you in the hall?" Patton asked, willing his voice to stay steady. Logan nodded lightly, following Patton into the hallway.

"You promised that you wouldn't get bad again," Patton whispered harshly. Logan froze in his tracks. How could he have found out? "I have no idea what you are talking about, Patton." Patton could feel the tears welling in his eyes. "Please don't act like that Logan. We just want you to be safe and healthy. Please stop hurting yourself!" Logan kept a straight face. "I am fine, Patton. Please do not act as if I am not." Patton shook his head. "No, Logan. You said that last time, and look what happened. I refuse to let that happen again. Go sit at the table with Virgil. I'm making you dinner." Logan's eyes widened. He grabbed Patton's arm and shook his head wildly. Fat. Fat. Fat. "Please don't Patton. Please.." Logan whispered the last part, his body shaking lightly. Patton hugged Logan tightly, rubbing his back. "I just want you to be healthy, Lo. Please eat dinner. If not for yourself, than for me, Roman, and Virgil. Please," Patton whispered in his hair. Logan nodded softly. He could do this for them. Patton pulled away from the hug, taking a breath before walking back into the kitchen with a smile on his face. Logan ran a hand through his hair before joining Virgil at the table. After a couple of minutes, Patton brought Logan a bowl of salad with a bit of cut up chicken. Logan look up at him gratefully. The pasta would've been too much for Logan, and they both knew it.

Still, the salad was daunting for Logan. He stared at it intently, willing it to disappear. But it remained there, almost taunting Logan. He took a deep breath. I can do this. He picked up his fork and stabbed a small piece of lettuce, chewing it slowly. And god, Logan didn't realize how hungry he was until now. He ate the salad quickly, finishing it in a few minutes. Patton watched him with a small grin. "Do you want a little bit of pasta, Lo?" Patton asked softly. Logan nodded quickly, lost in his hunger. Patton heated up a plate of pasta, placing it in front of Logan. Logan ate the pasta even quicker than he had eaten the salad. Virgil was watching him with an amused look on his face. He had never seen someone eat so fast. He wasn't aware of the horrifying reason for Logan's speed.

Once his plate was empty, Logan's eyes widened. How could you eat that much? You're going to get even fatter than you already are. Pig." Logan sprinted out of the room before Patton could stop him. "Roman, I'm going to go take care of Lo. Can you stay here with Virgil?" Patton asked, urgency in his voice. Roman nodded quickly, prompting Patton to run in the direction Logan had fled. Patton knew where he was heading. The bathroom. When he arrived, the door was shut and he could hear retching from the inside. Patton tried to open the door, but it was locked. He began pounding on the door. "Logan! Open the door! Please stop!" All that could be heard was Patton's pleas and Logan's vomiting. After a couple of minutes, Logan's retching stopped, the only sound remaining being his soft sobs. "Please open the door, Lo," Patton whispered. He heard a click, prompting him to open the door slowly. The sight he was greeted with broke his heart. Logan was curled against the wall, crying and shaking softly, his glasses thrown on the ground. Patton wanted to break down right there, but he knew he had to stay strong for his friend. "Come on, Lo. How about a shower?" Logan nodded lightly, sniffling as Patton pulled him to his feet and turned on the shower. "Do you want me to stay in here, Logan? I won't look, I promise. Just..if you need company." Or if you need someone to look after you because you're crazy. Or maybe he just wants to see your ugly body for himself so he can understand why you need to starve yourself. Logan cut off his own thoughts by nodding quickly. He shouldn't be alone right now, and he knew it. "Please close your eyes," Logan whispered. "Of course, Lo," Patton responded, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall. Logan undressed as quickly as he could, avoiding the mirror. Just because you don't look at the fat doesn't mean it's not there. "Patton?" Patton hummed softly in response. "Could you possibly...sing? It's okay if you don't want to, but the silence-" "Of course, Lo." Logan felt himself relax slightly as he heard Patton's soft voice echo through the bathroom. Logan closed his eyes, focusing on the calming tune, urging himself to ignore the feeling of his body under his fingers as he washed his body quickly. After finishing his body, Logan was able to relax. Washing his hair was his favorite part of the shower. Hair couldn't have imperfections. He rubbed shampoo through his brunette locks, taking deep breathes. This was almost therapeutic for Logan, and he loved the feeling. Finally, after rinsing his hair, Logan was done showering. "Hey, Pat? I'm done." "Do you want me to go get you some clothes, Lo?" "Yes please." With that, Patton left the room, leaving Logan alone in the bathroom. He dried his body quickly, keeping his eyes on the floor as he did so. As he finished, he heard a knock at the door. "It's me, Lo. My eyes are closed, but I have your clothes." Logan smiled softly. He was so lucky to have someone like Patton in his life. He opened the door slowly, grabbing the pile of clothing. "Thank you," Logan muttered. "No problem! I'll wait here until you're done," Patton replied, trying to keep his usual peppy tone. Logan nodded and shut the door, dressing quickly. He pulled on the light gray long sleeve, black joggers, and gray socks that Patton had brought him. He opened the door, revealing Patton still standing with his eyes closed. Logan giggled lightly. "You can open your eyes now. I just need to brush my teeth really quick." "Do you think you'll be okay by yourself while you do that? I should probably go check on the others," Patton asked softly. Logan hated being treated like he was fragile, even though he was, so he nodded with a slight smile. "I'll be right back, Lo. Don't worry," Patton stated, walking toward the kitchen. Logan walked back into the bathroom, looking at his face in the mirror. What is wrong with you? Logan did his best to ignore his thoughts, brushing his teeth in a hurried yet diligent manner. After he finished, he brushed his hair and retrieved his glasses. At least he looked like he was okay.

In the kitchen, Roman was trying to keep Virgil calm when Patton entered. "Patton! Is he okay? Did I make him mad? Does he hate me?" Virgil rambled on. "No, Virgil. He's not mad at you at all," Patton said lowly. "Then what happened? Is he okay?" Virgil pressed on desperately. "Virgil, this may be a topic for another time.." Roman started. "No, he's worried about Logan, and that's okay. But it isn't either of our places to tell you what happened. If Logan wants you to know, he'll tell you," Patton explain. Virgil nodded slowly, anxiety filling his veins. If it wasn't about you, then they could tell you. You made him upset. He's going to- "Please don't overthink it, Virgil. We just don't want to break Logan's trust," Roman pleaded. Virgil nodded slowly. "I'll be right back, kiddos," Patton muttered, walking back to the bathroom quickly. Logan was exiting the bathroom as Patton approached the door. "How are the other two?" Logan asked, guilt clear in his tone. "They're okay. Virgil is a little panicked about the situation." Logan could feel his own panic set in. "You didn't tell him, did you?" Patton shook his head quickly. "That's not my story to tell, Lo. I would never break your trust like that. But I would consider telling Virgil the truth." Logan furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?" Patton took a breath before continuing. "He thinks you ran out because you were mad at him or he made you upset. He's really freaked out about it Logan." "Oh, no.. I don't want him to be scared of me," Logan said softly. "Do you want me to go get him so that you two can talk?" Logan nodded. "I'll be in my bedroom," Logan said, walking toward his sanctuary. Patton walked into the kitchen, grabbing the pairs attention. "Virge, Logan wants to talk to you," Patton said. Virgil could feel his panic building, but he knew that Logan would only be more mad if he kept him waiting. That's how it had been before..

Virgil followed Patton to Logan's room, where he left him at the closed door. "Just knock," Patton stayed, walking toward the kitchen once more to comfort his other friend. Virgil took a shaky breath before knocking lightly. After a few seconds, the door opened to reveal an exhausted Logan. The two stared at each other for a moment. "Come in," Logan softly said, shutting the door behind Virgil. Before Logan could explain anything, Virgil felt his panic build to its peak, forcing him to speak out quickly. "I'm so sorry, Logan, I'm so sorry please don't be mad at me I didn't mean to make you upset please don't hurt me I'm sorry." Logan gasped lightly. "Virgil, I would never. I'm not mad at you at all. Even if I were absolutely furious, however, I would never lay a finger on you." Virgil looked up at Logan through tear-filled eyes. "Really?" he whispered. "I promise, Virgil." Virgil stared at Logan before muttering an almost inaudible, "Thank you." A silence fell over the two for several minutes. Neither knew how to approach the obvious problem at hand. Finally, Logan spoke up. "Virgil, I should probably explain what happened today.."

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AN
Hey guys! So, I'm Syd, and I just wanted to leave a few quick notes for y'all.

First, please comment what you think of the story so far! Or if you'd prefer, feel free to DM me! I absolutely adore hearing from you guys.

Second, if you like this book...
*insert shameless self promotion*
I have another Sanders Sides book out called "Silenced", so check that out if you want !

Finally, I just wanted to thank you guys for reading my stuff. It really means a lot :)

-Syd