Bee stayed in her room all weekend, reading the stack of books her mother had gotten for her. She poured over young adult literature, feeling hateful of the girls with their perfect boyfriends, with their kind boyfriends, with their sweet and funny and nice boyfriends.

All she had was a wounded heart (and ego) and it was thanks to a boy that hated her guts. And she hated him too, she did, but suddenly, she was unsure. When she closed her eyes, she pictured laying under him, feeling on a cloud, soaking up his kisses. Feeling his hands on her bare skin, or holding her hands, or pressing into her.

Monday morning brought panic.

As Bee was assembling her backpack, she noticed immediately what was missing: her planner. Her life. Her lists. She immediately went into panic mode at 6:20 am, digging through her bedroom, tearing it apart, remembering who had it last.

Oakland had it. Oakland had her lists and her schedules and everything. She felt herself hyperventilating, she felt herself panicking, she felt herself choking on air. She knew it was silly and pretty ridiculous because there was nothing she didn't really already know. She knew her schedule very well, knew her due dates pretty well, but her planner was like her security blanket, and now it was gone.

When she closed her eyes, she remembered what else was in her planner. Her poems, her doodles, the private parts of her life that people didn't dig into. Her planner was her diary, was her sketchbook, was her journal.

She slung on her backpack and looked at herself in the mirror, but she wasn't feeling it. She looked at her outfit, at her skinny jeans paired with her cream sweater, and she wanted to cry.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Her mom asked her when she stumbled down the steps, thinking of how she would get it back. Oakland wouldn't give it back, no way, no how.

"My planner is missing." She could barely get the words out of her mouth as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. "I brought it to Benji's, and now it's gone."

Her mom was putting on her jacket, getting ready to go. "Have you texted him?"

Bee spooned cereal into her mouth. "No, but I will." She had little faith in the thought that Benji had her planner, but it was a possibility. She hoped Benji had it, hoped that Oakland hadn't looked through it and saw all that was her, spilled upon the pages.

Bee wasn't embarrassed of herself and her hobbies, but she didn't want her harassing bully reading her poems and her deep thoughts.

My ramblings about dad. About how I feel about him. About how much he hurt me. She didn't want Oakland having the key to her inner turmoil, especially if he was hell bent on ruining her.

Her mom pressed a kiss to her head. "Sweetie, have a good day, okay? Don't let this get you down."

Hard to focus on when Bee felt like her entire life was crumbling, but she pretended to smile, for her mom. Then, she tried not to cry into her bowl of cereal as she shovelled it in. Her mind was a loop of scenes in which Oakland parading around school with her planner, photocopying the pages in total Mean Girls fashion.

When Bee got to school, she rushed to put her baseball bag away and then went to confront Oakland. She wanted to ignore him, or better yet, flip him off, but she couldn't play this game today. If she didn't have her planner in between her fingers in five minutes, she would have a panic attack.

She found him easily enough at his locker, but Bee froze. He was kissing a girl, his hands in her hair. He was kissing her softly, not at all like he had with Bee. There was no biting, no hair pulling, no choking.

She felt like crying, and she wasn't sure it was because of her planner.

"What? You thought he'd kiss you once and suddenly he was yours?" It was Fauna's voice beside her, but Bee didn't spare her a look. She forced herself to be angry, to remember that to Oakland, it was a game. "No, he has something of mine."

"Like what? Your dignity?" She snickered at her own words, but Bee could tell she was feeling hurt too, like she was angry about Oakland kissing a random girl in the hallway. Bee knew then that the reason Fauna was so nasty was because she liked Oakland.

She turned towards Fauna. "Fauna... I don't like him. Honestly. And I get that you don't like me, or the fact that I play baseball, but I'm just trying to graduate okay? Not stir up drama in the last three months of school."

Fauna refused to look at her, her gaze on Oakland and his roaming hands. Other people walked by, and crowds were mulling about now in the hallway, but Oakland didn't stop. Bee tried not to watch, but Fauna looked like she was a trance, just watching, waiting.

"It's not you I'm worried about. You may not like Oakland, but that boy just talks and talk and talks about you."

Bee opened her mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. "Okay, well he hates me. So he's probably shit talking."

Fauna didn't respond to that. She crossed her arms, her shoulders drooping, her eyes sad. It was hard to look at, and Bee felt a pang of pity for her. The girl was clearly in love, and Oakland was a shit boy to fall in love with.

"I've known him since we were kids. I always thought it would be us, y'know?" Her voice sounded watery, like she was close to crying. She looked like she was. "As a preteen, I used to fantasize about it. About how in high school, he would sweep me off my feet and tell me that he was in love all along. And I've been his friend for so long, just waiting for him to notice me." She swiped her hand across her nose, still staring at Oakland, still making herself upset. "And then... and then we moved here. And instead of kissing me, he's kissing random girls, and he's talking about you, and he's acting like an asshole."

Bee didn't know she was going to have a heart to heart with Fauna, and she wouldn't have believed it last week. Instead, her mind flashed to Friday, how Oakland had kissed her, and how he had told her just how much he hated her. How he had made her feel heartbroken in a single moment.

"Boys are dumb," Bee said with utmost sincerity. "I get it. The whole I love him and he's an asshole. Boys don't care about anyone but themselves." Even as she said it, Bee knew this wasn't true. Larkin and Stephen and Benji and John cared about her, enough to want to quit the team for her. But in that moment, this was what Fauna needed to hear.

Fauna pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. "I really wanted to hate you," she said in a half sob. "I just, I love him. I've always loved him, since he was eight and he made mud pies in my backyard."

Bee couldn't picture that version of Oakland. He was way too rough and mean to make mudpies. But, eight year old Oakland was way different than eighteen year old Oakland. "He's not worth it. If he doesn't love you and he doesn't notice you, then he doesn't deserve you."

"It's time for me to move on, isn't it?" She sniffled. "I bet boys in college are way hotter anyway."

Bee let out a laugh at that, not expecting that response. At her sudden bout of laughter, Oakland pulled away from the girl he was kissing, eyeing the two of them, seemingly shocked that Bee and Fauna were together, laughing.

Bee made eye contact with him, and her laughter melted away, and just like that she was mad. Mad he stole her planner. Mad he kissed her last night and then laughed at her. Mad he hated her guts.

"I need to talk with him." Bee said in a voice that explained she really didn't want to, and then she cut a look to Fauna. "If I were you, I'd show him just what he's missing. Fauna, you're way too good to be pining over a boy who doesn't have his shit together."

With that, she stormed towards Oakland, her steps sure and even, and when she got to him, she plastered on a scowl. Up close, he looked like he had perfected the I just rolled out bed look. His dark hair was wild and curled against the nape of his neck, and his eyes looked sleepy.

"Where is my planner?"

"Excuse me." The girl who was kissing Oakland put a hand on Bee's shoulder, her expression looking angry.

Well, Bee was angrier. "You're excused," she said as she peeled the girl's hand off of her shoulder, then she turned back to Oakland. "Give me my planner."

Oakland's grin wasn't kind. "What planner?"

Bee shoved him back. "You know what planner, you asshole. It's mine so give it back."

"Uh, desperate much?" The girl was still standing there, her arms crossed, her voice nasty. Bee felt anger run through her chest, making it tighten, making her see red. Don't react, she told herself.

"Bee, babe, relax. I'm sure you're school planner will turn up at some point."

His voice was so relaxed, so condescending, that she didn't want to see him anymore. She spun on her heel and stomped away, feeling out of control and ready to cry. She was shaking, her breathing shallow, and she could feel the tears at the back of her throat.

She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder. "Bee, what's wrong?" It was Larkin, and she turned to press her face into his shirt, trying to hold the tears, but suddenly they were flowing. "Woah, woah, woah. Hey, what's going on?"

Her voice was muffled. "He has my planner, and he stole it, and he won't give it back, and he's doing this on purpose!"

She felt Larkin's hands wrapping around her, holding her close. She was crumbling, all because of a stupid boy who hated her. She was not like this - she wasn't a crying mess, and she didn't let people bother her. Usually.

"Okay, shh. Listen, how about we ask Benji? You brought it to his house, right?"

She didn't dare pull her face away. "Yes."

Larkin took out his phone, texting Benji. "Okay. We'll meet up with Benji and ask him if he's seen it. I know Oak probably stole it, but this'll make you feel a little better."

This time, she did pull her face away, wiping away her tears. "I feel so stupid. This is the reaction he wants and I gave it to him."

Larkin pulled her down the hallway, stepping into a classroom. It was Larkin's homeroom. "Ignore that asshole. We'll get your planner back, okay?"

She found a tissue box and pulled out a tissue, blowing her nose. She knew her face was red and her eyes were puffy. "Okay."

Benji and Stephen pulled open the door and stepped into the classroom, closing the door behind them. "Sorry Bee, no planner at my house. But, we'll make a makeshift one, okay?" Benji headed towards a materials station on the back wall, grabbing some lined paper and a stapler. He guided Bee to a seat and began stapling the papers together.

"Stephen, call John." Benji's voice was no nonsense. "He'll design the cover."

Bee pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. "You guys honestly don't have to do that."

Stephen waved his hand. "Bee, hush up. We want to do this for you. I don't get the list making, but I get that it helps you and that's all that matters."

She didn't know what she did to get such great friends, but it made her chest ease, just for a little bit. She finally got herself to stop crying, and when John came in, wielding his paintbrushes, she couldn't help but laugh. Oakland may have been an asshole, but her friends would protect her to the very end.