Their first game went without a hitch, and that night, Bee was careful to put all of her thoughts down in her new planner. There was something calming and therapeutic about writing away memories, happy or sad, and putting them on paper.

We won our first game. I can't believe that this season is already underway, and tonight felt almost magical. Coach let me start, and I was on fire! I got a homerun, sending the bases home, and scored us 4 runs in one single hit! Talk about exhilarating. And as much as I hate giving him credit, Oakland actually did well, too. He definitely can hold his own, even if he's infuriating. And what the heck is up with him telling me not to ask out James? Like he has a say. What a stupid weirdo. A stupid weirdo who also got a homerun and cinched the game for us. Ugh. A stupid weirdo with a charming smile, and a cute face, and why does my chest always tighten up around him? And why does my stomach do that stupid butterfly thing when I see him? I'm dumb for even thinking about him. I'm dumb for even writing about him.

Bee tipped her head back, thinking about John and Jane and seeing how excited John had been to see Jane sitting in the stands, calling his name and cheering him on the whole game. It was sweet, to see them so happy together.

Just as she was writing that down, her phone chimed, and she cut her gaze to look at it.

Come outside.

She was absolutely not going to go outside to meet Oakland. She put down her pen and picked up her phone, her thumbs moving over the letters. I'm busy, srry.

She set her phone down, but when she turned back to her planner, she couldn't think of what to write next, now that she was distracted by Oakland.

No ur not. Come outside.

She stood up from her desk and looked out her bedroom window, seeing Oakland leaning against the side of his truck, his arms crossed, looking towards her house. She didn't think he was looking into her window, but she felt like he could see the way her cheeks were suddenly growing warm.

A knock on her door sent her stumbling back, her heart beating hard as she spun around. Her mom pushed open the door, sticking her head in. "Hi, honey."

"Mom, you scared me." Bee put her hand over her chest, blowing out a long sigh. "What's up?"

"That boy from your concert is outside. He was just talking to me downstairs, and I told him you'd be right out."

She stared at her mom, her mouth open, catching flies. She looked down at her pajamas, then crossed her arms indigently. "Mom, why would you do that?"

"Because he's cute. And, because your dad is in a mood, and I think you'll be better off hanging with a friend." There it was, the urgency in her voice, the fear that was there. Suddenly, the hair on the back of Bee's neck stood on end, and she turned towards her dresser, yanking out a pair of Adidas joggers and a hoodie.

"Mom... are you sure you'll be okay here?" Bee's voice was tentative as she yanked the hoodie over her old baseball t-shirt, looking at her mom with soft eyes. There was something so heartbreaking about the expression on her mom's face, and Bee felt her stomach hollow out.

"I'll be fine, honey. Please go." Her mom tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear, smiling at Bee. "One day, it'll be you and me. But for now, I just want you to make it to college."

Bee swallowed thickly and nodded. "Alright, I'll put these on and head out."

Her phone chimed again, but Bee didn't look at it. She watched as her mom gave her a sad smile, kissed Bee on the cheek, then ducked out of the room. It was all so disheartening to Bee, and she pulled on her pants quickly.

In a few months, Bee would be at college, away from here, away from this, and that was something that was supposed to make her feel better. Instead, she felt like a weight was on her chest, compressing her, pushing her down.

She grabbed a ball cap on the way out of her room, pulling it on tight and rushing down the stairs. She didn't know where her dad was - she didn't hear him anywhere - so she pulled on her sneakers quickly, eyes darting towards the back of the house, wondering if he would stumble out.

As soon as her shoes were on, she escaped, looking down at her phone to see the most recent text that she had ignored earlier. Earth to Buzz... I'm not getting younger out here.

The moment she looked up, her eyes collided with Oakland's, and for a moment things felt different. He felt different. She had the strangest urge to run into his arms, like he was her boyfriend, like he could make it all disappear. He couldn't, and he wouldn't, and she tried to push those thoughts away.

She couldn't. When Bee walked up to him, tilting her head back, she wished she had a boyfriend in that moment. Someone she could talk to. Someone she could whisper her secrets to, someone who would keep them, someone who would trade back their own secrets.

That someone wasn't Oakland. It would never be Oakland.

He wore a crooked grin and his hands were stuffed in grey baggy sweatpants that said PARK SCHOOL down the side. His windbreaker was also from Park School, but the ballcap he wore was from her school.

"You came," he said, like he didn't quite believe it.

"Well, I had this annoying boy tell my mom to come get me." She faked a grumpy voice, crossing her arms and looking up at him. Her stomach tightened itself again into knots, and she swallowed, wondering just what she was doing there with him.

He opened the door to his truck but took a step away, obviously not wanting to repeat what had happened on the night of her band concert. She stepped forward, gripping the handle above her head, yanking herself up into the truck.

She turned, reaching for her seatbelt, but he was already holding it. Oakland's eyes were dark as he slowly, so slow it was almost painful, buckled her in. His hand lingered on the seat belt, his eyes on her as he leaned towards her.

"Oak?" Her voice was a croak, and it was pitchy, and she swallowed again. He slowly pulled away, his hand trailing over her leg as he did, and then he shut her door. She was aware of how her heart was banging in her chest, so hard it was almost making her breathless. She could still feel his fingers on her leg, and she wondered if this was how he did it: if this was how he got girls to fall for him so easily.

When he opened his own door, he slid in and revved the truck. He eyed the time on the dash, then looked over at her. There was something shy about him suddenly, and Bee wasn't sure what it was.

"I like when you call me Oak." It was a quick string of words, and then he was driving off, facing the road. There was nothing else, nothing more, but Bee felt her heart in her throat at his words.

She thought of how he had said a similar thing at the concert. Warning bells rang in her head at the thought of Oakland slipping into her life and turning everything around on her. Suddenly, her life felt more about him than it did about baseball.

"Why did you show up tonight?" She shoved her hands under her thighs, looking at him, noting how strong his jaw looked. Why does that even matter? She asked herself, shaking out any thoughts she had about Oakland's sharp, sexy jaw.

"My parents were harping on me tonight. I needed to get away."

Bee curled her legs up on the seat, looking out the window. She let her fingers trail over the cold glass, sucking in a breath of confidence. "About staying behind to run their business?"

She could feel the tension rolling off of him. "They think it's the best option. They can't afford to send me to school, y'know? And I can't afford school. They want me to stick around and make bats for the rest of my fucking life."

When she looked over at him, she could see the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel, impossibly tight. "And when I tell my friends this, they just laugh it off. Say I'm lucky my parents want to keep me around, or that I'm lucky my parents wants to hand the business off to me."

Bee thought of Fauna, who did care for Oakland, and who possibly would support his decisions to go to college. She continued to drag her finger down the glass, not daring to look at him. "Fauna once told me she wished you talked to her more about this kind of stuff."
"Fauna just wants to stay close to me, like being my friend is some kind of currency that'll make her rich. I'm only valuable to her if I can make her popular."

Bee shook her head. "No, I think she actually likes you."

"What, you want me to date her?" Oakland's voice was tight and cold, and Bee flinched into the seat, not expecting that reaction. When she looked over at him, she saw his angry eyes and she put her hands up. "No. Well, I don't know. It's not my business and I'm sorry. I overstepped. And I'm sorry about your parents, and about them wanting you to stay. It's not cool they want to control your future like that."

Oakland blew out a long sigh, pulling onto the highway. Bee watched as the other cars flew past them until Oakland got up to speed, cruising along beside them. "Where are we going?"

Oakland rolled his shoulders. "It's a surprise." And then he looked over at Bee with softer eyes. "Do you have a curfew?"

She was shocked he even cared about a curfew. "No." And then, she chewed her lip. "Well... I should probably be home around 10. Mom worries if I stay out too late, but then again..." She trailed off, thinking about what her mom had said before she left. Dad being in a mood could last for hours.

"It's not in your planner?" His words were teasing, and Bee rolled her eyes at him, all in good humor. "As if I would bring that with me this time."

There was a twist to Oakland's mouth, but it seemed more like he wanted to smile but was trying to hide it. He pulled off the highway, immediately banging a left down a dirt road, bouncing the truck down the darkened path. Bee sat up straighter, her hands wrapping around the seatbelt. "Uh, if this is some elaborate plan to kill me..." she trailed off, her eyes meeting Oakland's.

Oakland let out a laugh as they raced through the woods, going faster than Bee felt comfortable going, but she trusted Oakland not to crash them. Well, almost trusted him not to crash them, or more importantly, his truck. She figured he valued his vehicle enough not to land them in a ditch.

"Ah, you caught me. That was my plan all along." His grin lit up his entire face, making Bee feel suddenly warm and fuzzy inside.

When the truck slowed, they came to a clearing just beyond the trees, showing off a small dirt parking lot that could hold only five or six cars. It was empty right then, and when Oakland parked the truck, he turned to look at her with dark eyes.

Bee leaned up over the dash to look at what was in front of them. A little ways down, she could see what looked to be a small beach, and then the ocean stretched out beyond them. She didn't know exactly where they were, but her eyes widened as she noticed that it was a little hidden beach, all to themselves.

Oakland unbuckled himself. "This is where I come to think. When my parents are harping on me and when I just want to get away." He ruffled his hair, then blew out a long sigh, meeting Bee's eyes. "It's where I came when I found out about you."

She unbuckled too, tucking her legs up and turning towards him. "Like, at the beginning of this school year?" She thought about how she had first heard about him and how angry she had been.

His eyes were trained on the ocean in front of them. "No... when I found out about you in elementary school." His mouth twisted, and then he blew out a long sigh, refusing to meet her eyes. "I remember my dad talking about it, about a girl playing t-ball. He thought it was ridiculous, stupid. He brought me down here in his truck at night, just like this, and he was ranting about you. On and on."

Her cheeks burned at the realization that Oakland had probably hated her nearly his entire life. No wonder he'd been so mean. He's always hated you. The thought burned in her chest. "And then, in middle school. I remember playing against your team, and I remember the whole drive home my dad was pissed. Telling me that there's no reason why a girl should be playing with the boys. I think he was angry that you were better than I was."

She pressed her chin against her knees, tilting her head to look at him, but he refused to meet her gaze. He was still staring out at the ocean, his mouth pressed tightly like he too was remembering the anger.

"I biked here right away. I think I was angry because my dad was angry, because I don't remember being angry like, at the game or anything. I remember being fine until I got into my dad's car and heard him angry about it. From then on, I just felt angry about you. Whenever I heard about your team, I got mad. In high school, I used to come down here all the time after a losing game against your team and get absolutely wasted. I was just so angry."

This whole time and Bee had never noticed. Not once had she realized that he had been so angry for so long over her existence. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, it was one sided. I didn't know about you until... until right before Park School merged."

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "No, that makes me feel worse. This entire time, I've been hating you for nothing. Because you were better than I was, and you were a girl. If it had been a guy, I wouldn't have cared. But it was because you were a girl. Cause you were right, I'm a sexist piece of shit."

She cut him a long look, stuffing her hands under her thighs. "What changed?"

"You." He eyed her, then looked back towards the water. "All this time, I didn't know you. You were just this girl in my way. But now I know you, and I can't get you out of my fucking head. It was easy when I didn't know you. When I didn't know you, it was easy to call you names and tell everyone how you got it easy because you're a girl. But... that isn't true."

She felt almost hollow for a moment, like his words had carved out a space between her ribcage and left it gaping. She blinked at him, her chest tight, remembering who he was. Trying to remember what he had said to her all those nights ago.

"That's what it's gonna be like for my entire life." Bee stared out the windshield. She didn't want to look Oakland in the eyes, mostly because she knew he would be watching her with dark consuming eyes. She didn't trust herself. "I want to play professional ball. Like, with the Red Sox. The field is the one place I truly feel at home. It's always been that way for me."

"You're lucky the guys support you. And like, it's not just because you're good. It's obvious they support you because they love you."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She felt lucky, but it was more than that between them. "We've been together since t-ball. We were all on the same team. They've been my best friends since... well, since forever." She cut her eyes towards him, seeing the jealousy in his eyes and wondering why it was there in the first place. "You have your team, too. Everyone loves you."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "No, they like that I'm good. I'm nothing more than their winning player, and it's always been that way. They couldn't care less about me. If I have a bad day, or hell, a bad season, they'd kick me to the curb. But you... you have it all. The love, the support, the back up. Your team really believes in you."

She reached over, putting her hand on his arm softly. "Oak, people genuinely like you. When you first came to school in the fall, everyone was talking about you. You're popular, in the in-crowd, and everyone fawns on you."

His eyes were watery when he looked at her. There were genuine tears in his eyes. "No, they like me because I'm good looking. They like me because I'm good at sports, and I don't take shit from people, and I'm funny. They appreciate that I'm popular, and that's it. If people actually knew me..." he shook his head.

"Oakland, c'mon. What do you mean if they actually knew you?"

He turned, reaching in the backseat of his truck, pulling out a briefcase. He tugged free what looked like a stack of papers, then handed it to her. He refused to look at her as he shoved the briefcase back into the backseat, leaning against the car door.

The papers in her hand were a manuscript. Bee knew, because she'd seen them from her mom all the time. The top page read Just Another Ordinary Wonderboy with his name underneath. She flipped open the manuscript, her eyes reading the very first page with rapt interest.

"You don't have to read that. I just... I wanted to show you what I wish I could go to college for."

"Pro writing? Oakland, if this is what you want to do, my god, go for it."

"Why? So you don't have to deal with me as competition anymore? You would like that, wouldn't you."

She looked at him, her mouth open. "What? No. Oakland, you deserve to go to school for what you want to do, not for what you think will get you there. Of course, play college ball. You love it, and you're good at it, and that'll get you a scholarship. But you have to study something. What major are you enrolled in at Boston?"

He shook his head. "I'm undeclared. Boston doesn't have pro writing as a major."
"It isn't too late. Did you already accept? You could totally go somewhere else with that major. Where else did you apply?"

Oakland's jaw tightened and he refused to look at her. "No where else that matters."

"Okay, well, you could always get an internship somewhere, like a publishing firm. It isn't the same, but I bet it would be-"

"Why are you doing this?" Oakland's voice was harsh, biting, and she flinched. The manuscript fell limp in her hands and she dropped it to her lap, feeling her cheeks flood with heat. Why was she doing this?

She ducked her head. "I don't... I didn't mean to upset you. It's not my business." She felt then like she was going to cry. She could feel the tears behind her eyes, the lump in her throat, the way her eyes burned. She reached for the door handle, needing to escape, and she jumped from the truck like it was on fire.

She had no idea why she was having that reaction. She stormed towards the water, hugging herself, taking deep breaths. Knock this off, she told herself. It doesn't matter that he doesn't care about your opinion.

And, it didn't. So why did it feel so personal?

"Are you crazy?" Oakland slammed his truck door shut, storming towards her. She shivered in the cold, but continued towards the water. She couldn't let him see the tears, she wouldn't let him see the tears.

"Bee, wait. Wait." She could hear him right behind her, but she kept moving towards the water, nearly running into it. If Oakland didn't grab her and yank her back, she would have been knee deep in the cold, salty ocean.

When he saw her face, his froze. "You're crying?"

She pawed at the tears on her cheeks. "I'm fine!" She continued to wipe at them, but it didn't stop them from falling. She couldn't make them stop, no matter how hard she tried. "I promise, I'm fine."

She felt his hands hot on her neck, tipping her chin back, holding her cheeks. His thumbs wiped at her tears, his face conflicted like he wasn't sure how to continue. She felt crazy for crying in front of him, again.

"I'm sorry. This isn't my business. Your life is yours, not mine."

"But why do you care?"

Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. She didn't know why she cared, why she even tried to solve his problems. She flung her arm towards the truck. "If that's what you like to do Oakland, then do it. I get the whole parents-don't-approve thing. But you need to live for you, not them, not anyone. Just you."

He was quiet, his hands still on her cheek. She covered his hands with her own, looking up at him, realizing that if she stood on her toes and leaned forward, they could be kissing again. Before she could think about it for too long, he was talking again. "What about you? You're going to Harvard to study... what?"

She shrugged. "I don't... I don't know. I'm also undeclared." She toed the sand, not looking at him in the eyes. "I always thought if if tried a bunch of things, I'd find the one thing I loved to do. So far, that's just been baseball."

"Is that why you do all those activities?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, kinda."

"Kinda? That doesn't sound like the full answer."

Despite whatever was happening between them, Bee still didn't want to tell Oakland everything about herself and her motives. As private as she was, there was too much Oakland already knew about her. She hugged herself against the chilly wind, turning from him.

"I like to be busy."

Oakland tugged on her ponytail, smiling down at her a little too sweetly. "Yeah, Busy Bee, that's you."

Bee didn't like the feeling in her chest when she looked at Oakland, so she looked away, down at her watch. She didn't like the numbers she saw, and she blew out a long breath. "I gotta get home."

Oakland nodded then headed towards his truck, his hand on Bee's lower back, pushing her forward with him. When she shivered, he wrapped his arm tighter around her, pulling her towards the passenger side door.

Her heart was beating hard in her chest by the time she met his eyes, and she hated that she felt this way. When she closed her eyes, she remembered the way Fauna had cried over him, the way she had sounded so heartbroken over this boy, how he didn't even seem to care about her.

When she opened her eyes, he was leaning closer, nearly in her space, and she remembered the way he had kissed those girls in the hallway. This was him, this was who Oakland was. He swept girls off their feet and broke their hearts.

She swallowed thickly. "Thanks for showing me this." She swept her hand towards the water. Even if this had been nothing more than a ploy for him to get her alone, she thought it was somewhat sweet that he would bring her here.

"Why do I feel like you're pulling away?" His hand lingered on her lower back, and even then, she felt claustrophobic. She was so unsure of his intentions still and that made her feel sick to her stomach.

She shrugged. "You tell me."

"Buzz-"

Her phone rang, interrupting the two of them. She fumbled for her phone, answering the call without even looking at the caller ID, just to put space between her and Oakland. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" It was her dad. She could hear the slur in his voice, could hear how thick his voice sounded through the speaker. He sounded angry, but then again, he usually did.

"I'm out with a friend. Mom said I could go." She grabbed the strings of her hoodie, yanking slightly, trying to calm her sudden flare of anxiety. She tipped her head low, her baseball cap hiding her face from Oakland, although she was incredibly aware of how close he stood to her still.

"You check in with me, get it?" There was a crash, a slew of swears, and then he was back. "You better get home right this instant. You better get home and come upstairs to my room. I'll show you what being a teenage girl is all about, Beatrice. You think I don't know you're out with a boy? I know what boys and girls do. You better get home and I'll show you."

She swallowed back her tears, gripping the strings on her hoodie tighter. "Dad, nothing is happening. I'm hanging with a friend, that's it."

"You better come fucking home right now, Beatrice!" Then, she heard him yelling away from the phone, at her mother. It was angry and horrible. "Your fucking sorry excuse for a mother is crying. Come home and let me show her why you check in with me first!"

Bee covered her mouth, holding in the sobs, so very aware of Oakland. "Dad, please. I'm coming home. I promise I'm on my way home. Just... please." Her voice broke, and the tears escaped. She didn't bother wiping them, knowing Oakland couldn't see them, not yet.

"You fucking better be." And then, he hung up on her.

For a moment, there was tense silence hanging between them, and Bee turned to open the door. She felt Oakland reach for her, and on instinct, she flinched away from him. Not because she was scared of him, but because of how strung up she was over her conversation with her father.

"Bee, wait."

She refused to look at him, hiding against the door. "Oakland, I have to go home."

He let her open the door and she slid in, closing it on him. She was shaking, so badly she could hardly buckle herself in her seat. By the time Oakland had rounded the truck and gotten into the driver's seat, she was still having trouble.

His hand covered hers and he buckled her in. "Bee, please look at me."

She wouldn't. She couldn't. "Just drive me home, please."

"I can't let you go home. I heard him on the phone. I'll call my parents, and they'll let you spend the night. Where you're safe."

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. This wasn't just about her, and it had never been just about her. Not since her brothers left her and her mother behind. And why wouldn't they, when they technically weren't her mother's kids?

"My mom won't be safe if I don't go home." Her voice was shaking just as badly as she was. "I need to go home. I'll be okay. I'm always okay."

Oakland pulled the truck away from the beach, his eyes narrowed and his hands angrily bunched around the wheel. "How can I help? I don't want to bring you home. Bee, please."

She shook her head no. By the time they were back at her house, she was already high with the adrenaline of what was about to happen. As soon as Oakland pulled to the curb, she barely said goodbye. She jumped out of the truck, not looking back as she ran down her driveway, yanking open her front door.

She looked over her shoulder once, making eye contact with Oakland through the truck window, wishing almost immediately that she had let him bring her over his house, where she was sure his parents were waiting. She pictured it; her sleeping on the couch, his parents checking in on her, waking up to Oakland getting ready for school.

She shook the thoughts away and then rushed into the quiet house. When she shut the door, she leaned against it, looking at the staircase. She counted to ten, then to twenty, and then she turned and locked the front door.